To Mom/page closed/1/23/15


7:08 pm

‘My sons never forgave me’: Bernie Madoff says the pain he inflicted on his victims is ‘nothing’ compared to the pain of losing his children

  • Madoff sent NBC an email from prison in a bid to clear his sons’ names
  • He said he struggles knowing that they never forgave him
  • His son Mark, 46, killed himself in 2010 on the second anniversary of his father’s arrest for the massive Ponzi scheme
  • Andrew Madoff, 48, died last September after a long battle with cancer
  • The men, who both worked for their father’s company, were not charged in the scheme but questions remain over what they knew 

Read more:
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4:21 pm

To Mom:


Dad and I made a bet.  Do not be stupid too long.  And do not lie anymore.  I love you.  Dad does not.  But you know that…

4:01 pm


3:43 pm

To Mom:


“I do not really care if you like me.  I care that you do not go to hell.  We can spend eternity discussing our differences and discovering our similarities.  I can wait.  But I cannot easily dismiss you to the fate my lying father has in store for us.  Unless we listen to God.”





12:46 am

She was a tortured woman who grew up with very little love, grappling with a mother more concerned with herself than with her child.

“Only once did he grant her a temporary role in his hotel empire, as a receptionist at the Beverly Hilton, where guests flatly refused to believe she was a member of his family.”


Why Zsa Zsa’s only child died a down and out: She dated Peter Sellers and was Liz Taylor’s sister-in-law. Here a biographer who knew her reveals how her mother’s lack of love shaped her life 

Read more:
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Read more:
Follow us: @MailOnline on Twitter | DailyMail on Facebook

Read more:
Follow us: @MailOnline on Twitter | DailyMail on Facebook




7:50 pm

Why it’s not booze you should give up for 2015, it’s our morning treat – coffee

  • These days its rare not to see a Starbucks on every corner
  • Coffee has become part of our daily routine – but could it be causing more problems than we’re aware of?
  • It can make your skin look older, cause cellulite and give you bad breath   

Read more:
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12:31 pm

Like hell, my dad supports missionaries.  He supports ass-kissers.



10:11 am

“I love money. I love everything about it. I bought some pretty good stuff. Got me a $300 pair of socks. Got a fur sink. An electric dog polisher. A gasoline powered turtleneck sweater. And, of course, I bought some dumb stuff, too.” — Steve Martin

Read more:




6:32 am

Psychopath school:  “When caught red-handed, say that your victim was a danger to self or others.”  (My dad’s alma mater.)




3:07 pm

Research has found that drinking these beverages can lead to an increased risk of diabetes, blood pressure, heart disease, and even obesity – a primary issue many are trying to avoid by choosing the drink.


How Diet Sodas Mess With Your Brain (Video)

– See more at:




11:20 am

What my parents are doing, by refusing to speak truth to me and my children about what was done to us, is perpetuating their legacy of lying relationships and false reputations. This is terrible in the macro view;  I mean, don’t they give a shit about anybody but themselves?  But they are also ensuring that their own children and grandchildren will never have honest personal relationships.  A lot of  people will damage the general population, but treat their OWN people differently.  My parents aren’t morally equipped to even recognize that their own offspring matters!   They strike at their own, succeeding generations be damned.  They’ve chosen to leave this world much worse than they found it, even for their own family.  Bet they’re singing   “Joy to the World” right this minute.  Gag.




9:14 am

You tell people a woman is crazy.  Meanwhile, that woman does things better than anybody else.  Who is crazy?




4:12 am

BUMP TO THE TOP,  From 2/27 14


Text to my father, my mother and my brother:

“You got that trust account ready yet?  I’d like to stop.  367-72-9730.”

My brother texted:  “no.”

I told him to take his time.  His response was unkind so I said,

“You’re a millionaire.  Dad called me crazy so I can’t even be a waitress.”

(I sent that to my mom, my dad and my rich selfish brother.)



3:24 am


From FACEBOOK, 3/8/14

I just had a vision of me smacking my dad across the face.  I was standing lower than he, and my fist was formed perfectly just like Adam White taught me to do.  I didn’t hit him with the business part though, it would have crushed his jaw.  I swung my right arm from behind me like a pendulum-stiff and it hit my dad’s chin with the palm-part, where my fingers were folded.  Knocked his head around the bottom oddly, and swung his face up to his right.  I’ve never actually punched anybody before, and this really wasn’t a punch, but it was physically educational just the same.  I’ll do it better next time.
I know my father has good reasons for keeping me and my children in an abominable situation for years.  I know those reasons involve secrets and blackmail and sex that he shouldn’t even be thinking about much less engaging. He is going down and God will not require me to throw a single blow.  God said I will be a lady again. My father took everything away from me, and although my life is not about me, the servant is worthy of his hire and Jesus is giving me my modesty back.
My father will fall to his knees in front of my boys and admit what he knew about what was happening to us and what was done to us and to  RAPING ME OVER AND OVER.  This is not my desire.  This is my prediction.  “Lord have mercy on my father once again.  I don’t care how he is being blackmailed or by whom.  I want you Jesus, and you’re truth.  I want you to touch everybody I know…that would mean everybody will receive truth, and everybody includes my father.  I do not wish to strike my dad but it’s pretty clear his sordid past has come home to roost.  Take him out.”
Family, dear-hearted stupid people…(it’s funny how the rich ones seem stupider…)  I don’t give a fuck if you believe anything I say.  When they put your alma pater in belly-bands maybe you’ll listen to me.  Maybe I’ll still be around.  (Even if I’m gone Jesus will hear you wailing about your creepy-ass-grandpa-who-will-no-longer-pay-for-dinner.  Get used to it.  I did.)




5:05 am

“But once one has invested oneself in the grisly torture business and has the blood and shit on one’s soul there seems no turning back.”

Read more here:



2:21 pm

Look at this picture.

This woman is a rapist.


She gets an arm around her shoulder.

Maybe her people aren’t  FAKE CHRISTIANS.


Guilty: Simon, 35, was found guilty on four of the five charges against her, three counts of first-degree criminal sexual conduct and one count of accosting a minor for immoral purposes


More at:




4:26 pm


12:53 pm

“…morons – those with IQ scores between 50 and 70 – should be hunted out “so they do not propagate and make the problem worse.”

“This attitude led to the acceptance in many states of programs of involuntary castration and sterilization of men and women considered unfit for reproduction. It began in Virginia in 1927 and continued there until 1979. Thirty states would eventually adopt the practice victimizing more than 66,000 individuals.”

See more:


12:46 pm

“Nowhere were the principles of eugenics more accepted than America. The first American eugenics law was passed in Indiana in 1907 and by 1936 there were 35 states that had such laws. As a result, large numbers of individuals in America were forcibly sterilized–primarily poor children taken in by state institutions.”

“But perhaps the worst part is the human experimentation at the boys home.  In doing research for nutritional study for Quaker Oats, scientists from MIT started serving up oatmeal dosed with high levels of radiation. Those boys that participated in the study were told that they were joining a science club.”

“Of course the boys thought that they were given special treatment in receiving the oatmeal every day. In fact, if requested they would get to have additional helpings of the oatmeal along with extra milk. But nobody mentioned to the boys that the milk was also dosed with radiation as well.”

First Fitter Family Medal

Given for a baby “Free of defects” at a Eugenics contest held at a County Fair. Contests like these were held in most states.


Read more here:{/embed]




10:17 am

My dad’s drug of choice:

To hold absolute power over others, to define what they should love or fear, to decide if they were to live or die and thereby to ravage the whole of their beings—that was a sensuality that made sexual passion look pale by comparison. It was a noneconomic conception of existence. The rewards for those followers who deserved them did not cost one penny; the only price attached to rewards was the abject suffering of some individual victim who was dominated by the recipient of the reward of power…. No, they were not dumb, these [subordinate power wielders]…. They knew a thing or two about mankind. They had reached far back into history and had dredged up from its black waters the most ancient of all realities, man’s desire to be a god…. How far wrong most people were in their appraisal of dictators! The popular opinion was that these men were hankering for their pick of beautiful virgins, good food, fragrant cigars, aged whisky, land, gold…. But what these men wanted was something much harder to get and the mere getting of it was in itself a way of keeping it. It was power, not just the exercise of bureaucratic control, but personal power to be wielded directly upon the lives and bodies of others. – Richard Wright, The Outsider, pp. 198-199



4:55 am

“Why do people lie to themselves? There are any  number of reasons. Sometimes it is because a clearer awareness would compromise one’s pursuit of self interest.”  (Les Visible)



3:11 am

Dream ad in the Newberry News:  “Yes, community, I lied about my daughter because I was embarrassed that she beat me on a bet about God.  She has never been crazy, is way smarter than I am, and has my blessing and financial support.”



5:41 pm

I also believe that my mother loves me, but she is also afraid.  If she allows me to be right, that makes her entire history “wrong.”  I don’t blame her for treating me like she’s trying to pick up shit at the clean end.


5:32 pm

Do you know my mother was one of the mind-control goons?  She plopped David and me into classrooms that were so Pavlovian we got little plastic “snorkels” when we obeyed the “authoritah.”   If we got a blue snorkel we got a fudgesicle.  I learned to drool when the bell rang.  We’re intentionally “educated” to be OBEDIENT. Nothing else did I learn during my scholastic incarceration.  I learned more than my mom did.


Did my mother teach me to think?  Or allow that I might?  I’m 54 years old and she has continually discouraged me FROM THINKING.  (Except when I was doing her research for major papers.)  She knows I’m not a liar…and I believe she loves me too.






4:15 am

Education programming 101: destroy logic

“In order to engage in meaningful debate, people have to be able to recognize a train of thought and follow it. If they can’t, because they were educated not to, where are we? We’re in the dark. We’re living by slogans.”


Read more at:



10:44 am

This is What Happens When You Call The Cops




9:29 AM

We’re supposed to be building the Kingdom of God.  We’re at the border of the promised land, and we must step into the water.



9:14 am

I got the dishes done.

How is it that my father can LIE, LIE, LIE about me, steal my home and marriage right out from under my feet, DESTROY MY CHILDREN’S FAITH IN JESUS, TORTURE ME…and he just doesn’t have to talk about it?  Is this the world we’re living in?  I chose two honest Christian men and one agreed and the other one didn’t say no…to be judges.  I believe Christian brothers should hold him accountable.  He can’t just not talk about it for six-plus years.  I’m not kidding, this is very wrong.  I gave him an extra whole year, God told me to do it and Dad knows I did.  I submitted to his false accusations and attacks…for him.  He must speak up.  He’s shrinking, day by day.  To encourage my dad to face my allegations is not an affront to him.  It is the most loving thing we could do.

2:02 pm

“When you make a tyrant act like a tyrant, that’s when the tyrant actually falls.”  (James Corbett)

My dad is such a perfect metaphor for the police state.  I’m chuckling all the time.





5:22 am

Academia, USA, a police state

“Over the last decade, U.S intelligence funding of academic research has taken on cavalier, even brazen qualities. This article reveals over 3,000 National Security Agency and over 100 Defense Intelligence Agency funded papers and draws attention to recent unreported revelations of CIA funding for torture research.”


“NSA funding sources are often nakedly, even proudly, declared in research papers (‘I may be nothing, but look, a big gang threw me a sovereign’). Some researchers try to conceal or otherwise downplay the source using accepted covers, weasel words and acronyms, yet commonality in the NSA grant code prefix makes all these attempts transparent. The primary NSA grant-code prefix is MDA904.”

Read more at:





1:43 am

“Once one begins to “stir up” their faith in the “fires of revelation” [the light of
God’s Presence] the Enemy’s schemes to derail their faith are “obliterated”
[completely devastated, dissipated] – and, thus, they will immediately find
themselves right back on course [with great clarity].”


More at:




3:46 am

Occasionally my dad would pay me a compliment;  I lived for his rare kindness.  I didn’t ever go see my dad unless I was showered and lipsticked.  (He was the only man I painted my face for.)  I washed his feet in scented water.  (I wanted him to notice me really bad.)  I wasn’t good enough for my dad so I learned I wasn’t good enough for anything.  I learned that no matter how hard I tried, it would never be good enough, so I stopped trying.  I have never tried to win a single thing in my life.  My one determination was that my children love Jesus, and I DID TRY to be the best Godly mother I could be.  I tried to obey God every single second, so my children would be Christian men.  Other than that, I never tried…
…until now, “Men and beasts attend my words”:  I am absolutely RIGHT about the condition of human governance and I am also absolutely RIGHT about God’s intention to replace the “kingdoms of the world” which SHALL SHORTLY “become the kingdoms of my God, and of his Christ.”  (“Christ”= “anointed”.  “Touch not the anointed of the Lord.”)  (My dad is so dumb, he taught me, “Touch not the HIRELINGS of the Lord.”)   I get impatient.  I have been defending my book for three years and my father will still not grant me audience concerning my issues of contention.  I don’t blame him, and I’ve been REALLY patient, for me.  I recognize that he will be very embarrassed when everybody knows he tried to kill his daughter who washed his feet.  “Dad.  Tough shit.  Get over yourself.  You made me do it and I’m grateful…”





1:28 pm

Indian Father Tortures, Kills Daughter’s Alleged Rapist





6:12 am

“It stuns me, as much as it did when I started 40 years ago, that it is possible to have people who are so emotionally disconnected that they can function as if other people are objects to be manipulated and destroyed without any concern,” he says.

Scientist: Here’s How To Spot A Psychopath




“The list includes: glibness and superficial charm, grandiose sense of self-worth, cunning/manipulative, pathological lying, emotional shallowness, callousness and lack of empathy, a tendency to boredom, impulsivity, criminal versatility, behavioural problems in early life, juvenile delinquency, and promiscuous sexual behaviour.”
Read more:






4:49 pm

Kinda pie-in-the-sky, but I know you’re smarter than you’ve been acting.

Cycle of Narcissism: Black Sheep Become Empaths Who Attract Narcs (and so on…)

4:45 am

Stonewalling = the act of refusing communication, stalling, or evading, especially to avoid revealing embarrassing information and escape accountability.

The stonewaller isn’t necessarily a sociopath, but the act of intentional stonewalling contains the cold, callous attitude of the sociopath. Absence of empathy is characteristic of stonewallers, and they may relish a sadistic pleasure in watching their target twist, squirm, and make humiliating efforts and bids to be heard. Stonewallers, whether sociopaths or not, are seriously disturbed communicators. Their indifference to the stonewalled party’s experience, as noted, can be chilling. Stonewalling often reflects character pathology, in which case they won’t change—they will always be stonewallers.






3:03 pm

Dear Mom, whom I have loved forever, even when you were fondling Jean in the other room with the lights out as I cried in my bedroom,  DO THE RIGHT THING NOW.  It is not for me, too late for that.  Do the right thing FOR YOU.  (Didn’t it bother you that Dad was fondling her too?)



7:23 am


“Waking up is a reality bust, a shit storm, a trauma of immense proportions because it changes everything. Denial is no longer possible and it’s an ugly feeling when you start checking out your family and friends, and realise that beneath the polite, smiling, genial façade presented to outsiders…some are monsters.”


“The realisation that we may have to leave our wife/husband, family, friends and go seeking for companions of like mind is a big  feckin’ deal. This is freak out time for all of us, but we must trust that our aspiring resonation will be met, and if we are true to our hearts and don’t indulge in self destructive behaviour ….our needs will be met far and beyond our expectations.”

More at:

Matthew 10:37

“He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me…”

John 14:6

“I am the…truth.”  (Jesus)






5:17 am


 Iranian woman’s heartrending message to her mother before she was hanged for killing the man who ‘tried to rape her’:  ‘Please don’t cry. I love you. I wish I could have hugged you until I died’

  • Reyhaneh Jabbari, 26, was sentenced to death in 2009 by an Iranian court
  • She was found guilty of murdering a government intelligence operative  

Read more:
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1:28 pm

Lone lawyer sues Obama, alleging illegality of surveillance programs

Feds: man can’t prove he was harmed, lacks standing to challenge gov’t spying.

I can.  I just need one piece of information…


Read more at:





4:18 pm

“Do not think because it cannot be seen, that thought has no power. I tell you truly, the lightning that cleaves the mighty oak, or the quaking that opens up cracks in the earth, these are as the play of children compared with the power of thought. Truly each thought of darkness, whether it be of malice, or anger, or vengeance, these wreak destruction like that of fire sweeping through dry kindling under a windless sky. But man does not see the carnage, nor does he hear the piteous cries of his victims, for he is blind to the world of the spirit.”
~ The Essene Gospel of Peace






11:17 am

“You don’t need a new piece of clothing.  You think you will feel better if you have it.”

You are believing lies of the matrix.  Here’s where they planned it:







10:22 am


This is fast approaching the end of time and you claim to be a Christian.  How do you suppose this will end well if you do not do it right?  I remember one time you stuck up for me in my life, when Mike was tormenting me.  I stand up for you.  You have been abused by a psychopath for years.  We spent decades trying not to piss him off.  Are you what you are because of him or in spite of him.  Stand up for your abused daughter if you ever hope to see the face of God.



9:32 am

“One common thread runs through the many different stories of denial,” writes Stanley Cohen in States of Denial. “People, organisations, governments or whole societies are presented with information that is too disturbing, threatening or anomalous to be fully absorbed or openly acknowledged. The information is therefore somehow repressed, disavowed, pushed aside or reinterpreted. Or else the information ‘registers’ well enough, but its implications – cognitive, emotional or moral – are evaded, neutralised or rationalised away.”






5:12 am

(It’s just like a countdown, isn’t it?)

“Many scapegoats have reported that the only time they felt their parent supported them (if at all) was when the supportive act fostered and reinforced the scapegoat’s inferiority, dysfunction or weakness.”
“The degree to which they are able to realize that they are mistreated not because they are inherently inferior, but because they are sending messages of vulnerability, is the degree to which they will determine the quality of their future.”





2:29 pm

Take this test…

Are You an Upscale Abused Woman?

I’m sorry I can’t make that text bigger, it says:




The following questions represent a brief and preliminary guide geared to assessing the possibility of you being an upscale abused woman. It is important to note that this test is an initial screening tool only, not to be utilized as the sole determinant to assessing your situation and not to be confused with psychotherapy or used instead of obtaining professional help. If you believe you may be in any immediate or impending danger, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (1-800-799-7233).

Note: In this test, your husband or partner will be referred to as “your mate.”

Section 1 – Pre-Screening Questions:
Answer “yes” or “no” to the following questions:


  • Is your joint income greater or equal to $100,000 per year?
  • Do you live in a neighborhood considered to be upper middle class or above? (by either reputation, perception or Census data)
  • Do you perceive yourself as being upper middle class or above?
  • Do you or your mate have a minimum of a college degree?


If you have answered “yes” to at least three of these questions, continue to next section.

Continue here:

(© Dr. Susan Weitzman, 2001)


8:46 am

Mom, you taught me this.  Remember?

“Dysfunctional families don’t allow people to be their authentic selves. They dance around their shame, denials and addictions, working to keep everyone in their assigned dysfunctional roles — like it or not.”

There are four basic roles in the dysfunctional family:


The Golden Child/Hero

The golden child is the one who “can do no wrong”. This child is viewed as being the best and the brightest; even if they’re not.


The Scapegoat

The scapegoat is the child who can “do no right”. This child is viewed as being the reason for everything undesirable and bad, even when they excel.

Some scapegoats enter into the trap of trying harder and harder to redeem themselves in the eyes of their family so they can finally be respected and appreciated for who they really are. They can never be good enough, and will burn themselves out trying to get a pat on the back. Other scapegoats succumb to the role of “bad one” and make waves, because they’re always labeled bad regardless, so they give up trying and rebel in anger.

Many scapegoats spend much of their adult lives still trying to be accepted and appreciated by constantly doing more, giving more and trying more. Other scapegoats spark lots of conflict and difficulties. Scapegoats typically wake up later in life and and realize things aren’t as they should be when their constant efforts to gain respect backfire and get them walked all over at work and at home (or when they get themselves into one too many conflicts pertaining to their adoption of a “who cares” attitude).

(Some sources claim the scapegoat is “the bad seed”, and others say the scapegoat is the healthiest member of the family.)

The Lost Child

The Lost Child is the child who withdraws in self-preservation. Ignored and invisible, this child experiences loneliness and a feeling of not belonging.


More Here:




7:30 am

The Silent Partner and the Silent Majority

The Silent Partner is any relative who stands by silently while you are victimized, or who takes the abuser’s side against the victim. She, or he, can be the other parent, who abdicates from parental responsibility to protect the children, or worse; sacrifices their well-being in order to make her/his own life easier.”

“While encouraging an abuser to operate freely in their midst, they will not be silent when it comes to criticizing the victim. They will look the other way when the victim is being mistreated, never validating her or defending her, and then attack her when she defends herself. The one that they gossip about, smear to others, judge, and condemn will invariably be the victim rather than the abuser. In their sick, evil, twisted minds, it is the long-suffering victim who is the family “trouble-maker”, never the abuser himself.”

Read more at:

In many instances they are far from silent. Although they might be silent about the actual abuse inflicted upon us, they can be quite vehement in insisting that the victim is wrong for not continuing to accept it.

6:51 am






12:12 pm

“Abuse is fundamentally a mentality. It is a mindset of entitlement. The abuser sees himself as entitled. He is the center of the world, and he demands that his victim make him the center of her world. His goal is power and control over others. For him, power and control are his natural right, and he feels quite justified in using whatever means are necessary to obtain that power and control.”


See more:

My father did 1) abduct my children, 2) bully George about me, 3) take away my house, 4) report me to to the police,  5) put me under surveillance, 6) try to have me locked up, and 7) try to murder me.   He’s a very sick abusive man.

(Now review “learned helplessness” and “Stockholm Syndrome”)




4:44 am


The sad truth is that most evil is done by people who never make up their minds to be good or evil.
Hannah Arendt

– See more at:,%20human%20folly#sthash.y2d1pVL3.dpuf



11:36 am




5:03 pm

Stuffing is in the oven, molten chocolate cakes are in cups waiting to be baked later.  I found for Josh a huge branch covered with “Old Man’s Beard” (lichen stuff he wanted for a project) and heard about his day and his political discussions with his co-workers.   I’ve updated all my topical pages today, most of them twice.  And I’ll have 10,000 posts on the regular news page today!

Not only did my parents damage my marriage by 1) taking the marital home, and 2) altering the studied dynamics of the relationship,  but also 3) causing George and me to distrust one another.  While they were slandering me publicly,  (and with their history of taking their concerns about me TO OTHER PEOPLE…) I was always wary when he took too long on an errand.  (“Too long” being relative, in his case.)  Their intervention of lies and calumny created for George a very difficult task trusting me, too.  Although we’d never lied to one another (except about if a dress looked nice.  See:  Madness and Politics) the distrust created by my parents proved irreparable.  (They also put us under surveillance, tried to kill me, ostracized my former friends…all these and MORE contributed to the end of the marriage!)  These ARE ONLY THE RESULTS OF SLANDER!
I’m not even finished describing  all the ways my parents destroyed ONLY  my  marriage yet!  I haven’t gotten to the children!  Or other relationships or anything!  What about the murder attempts!  Do I just talk about the physical near-misses and round off the suicide-gaslighting bullshit?  Am I going to have to go through ALL the COUNTS of EACH CRIME?
“Dear Lord, PLEASE give them the gift of repentance.  Soften their hearts. Please. My mom CANNOT possibly be as stupid as she sounds!)


12:26 pm

There is a difference between false responsibility, and true responsibility.  False responsibility is the mistaken sense that we must act on behalf of others.  Lots of reasons make us feel that way.  Upbringing is forefront, especially for eldest children and those whose parents are frequently absent.  Another reason some feel false responsibility is their perception that they are superior to others.  Sometimes, false responsibility is actually disguised show-boating.  A gentleman in our neighborhood suffered a crushing blow to his life and reputation. My mother was quick to “counsel” his family although I do not know that she’d ever been in the home before.  I can only guess why this might be, but it was certainly not true responsibility.
True responsibility has fewer origins.  If one is the only person ABLE to take necessary action, certainly he must.  Another source of true responsibility  is most common and the subject of much scripture, Christian and from other loving-paradigms.  IF YOU CAUSE A THING TO HAPPEN THAT NEGATIVELY AFFECTS OTHERS, YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE.  Ignoring true responsibility is 1) unlawful, 2) narcissistic, and 3) A SIN.

I gave our friend  a piece of frozen lasagna to take home, and a bag of cookies.  I held his hand and prayed that God would pour his glory on him and give him a vision of his destiny and allow him to know he’s more important than the VA says and to give him peace.


11:50 am

A friend showed up asking for George’s help replacing a headlight.  I asked if he were hungry,  then I made him a plate of roast pork, risotto, cauliflower salad and braised cabbage.  I called to him that it was ready. He didn’t move and he didn’t move.  After a few minutes I walked over to them and said, “George, will you please release Friend to come inside and eat?”  He said yes, then Friend followed me in.  (George will leave people standing in the doorway as he talks to them from the steps for an hour.  “Would you like to come in”?  “Would you like to sit down?”  I’ve modeled that for quarter of a century.)   While I was inside I put the turkey thighs into brine.  I haven’t done any dishes today but my finger really hurts when I bend it.  Every time Friend goes into the house he comments about how clean it is.  Right.

I just realized George went in too, and I forgot to ask if he wanted something to eat.  My bad.  Fixing that right now.
“George I’m sorry I didn’t offer you anything to eat.  Do you want something?”  “No, I’m doing good, I’m eating a bowl of these sesame noodles.”  “Did you offer Friend any?”  “No.”  “Friend,  would you like to try some of these noodles?”  “Yeah, put ‘em right there.”  I shot George a dirty look this time.
My mom can deny reality all she wants.  I’d describe our former marriage as “uniquely functional.”  Or at least “functioning” and it was “unique.”
Bump to the top:

9:04 am

I’m texting my mom now:

Thank you for the coffee.  You just sound so silly.  I share God’s joyful expectation of the day you embrace truth.  Then you’ll be saved.


2:45 am






3:03 am





3:52 am

“God’s Woman.  Christ is her identity of dignity, and destiny.”

TL Osborn





7:36 am

In 2011 or 2012, I went to my mother and begged her not to do this to us.  I said, “George is retarded!  Don’t call me crazy!”   Then I was gaslighted and nearly murdered.  She screamed, “George is not retarded” as she kicked me out of Dad’s office.  (My dad said otherwise for years.)

(I can look up the date if anybody cares.)

(Had to be 2012, because it was after they read my book.)

(They intentionally tore apart a Christian family and I can prove it.)





4:22 am

Great trio on the second verse





11:34 am

I am not a gamer, not even cards.  But I’ve heard gamblers talk about a “tell,”  some absent-minded mannerism that lets the experienced observer know what’s in a player’s  hand.  My mama gots a tell.  She doesn’t believe in God’s power and authority but she claims she’s holding aces.  When I told her God asked me to run for judge, she bitched of course.  She demanded scripture references, of course, but she also answered a question.  I reasoned, “Look Mom, even if I’m wrong and God never told me to do it…don’t you think he’ll honor me if I believe he wants me to?”  She said yes.  (She didn’t stop bitching, of course.)  (Much later God told me my mother’s continual opposition was  just “water on the altar.”  Like Elijah.  Look it up.)  My question still stands, and therein is my mother’s tell.  If she really believed that there REALLY is a God, and that he REALLY honors those who trust him, her interactions with me would be different.  I have FAR MORE invested in my faith now, than ever before.  I have no source of income, no insurance, no home.    I got nothing but my faith.  She knows that.  She can lead as many Bible studies as she wants.  She’s bluffing.



10:14 am

My dad’s got that cabin looking good.  I asked, “So you won’t let Kathy live here?  So she could be near her mother and me?”  He said, “She’s fine where she is.”  I dared to query, “Did you ask her?”  He said, “JIMMY SAYS she’s fine where she is.”  Can any lucid person not see a problem with this entire scenario?  My dad and his brother are utterly selfish psychopaths!  They deposit people into whatever slot causes THEM (the psychopaths…) the least discomfort!  They’re both bound for hell.




7:49 pm

Elderly dog who was ‘down in the dumps’ because she can’t run fast anymore gets to feel the wind in her fur again in a swing… and look at her smile!

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7:46 pm
‘I was heaping shame on my family by trying to bring my abuser to justice’: British Pakistani woman who was victim of paedophile neighbour reveals how she was shunned by her community


  • Ten years on, she wanted to report abuse but her mother begged her not to 
  • Man was convicted – but she and other victims were shunned by community

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3:48 am

Common Core Teacher Takes Nearly a Minute to Solve 9+6=15

This is hysterical!




6:09 pm

This one’s to my dad, but my mom could facilitate the necessary transactions:

One tiny piece of information.  To you, a decidedly self-incriminating note, but what a glorious confession!  One word, one address, one phone number.  Any one of these factoids would (IMMMMMEDIATELY) change your temporal life for the better, this is good.  It would also ETERNALLY change many other people’s lives, for the better.  Just put on your thinking-cap and write the best answer possible.  (We can only do the best we can.)   Tin-foil-hats are not as effective as the Faraday Box but some psychotronics-victims, depend on them.  We could change that, Daddy-Oh.  Wait.  I wax prophetic:  WE WILL CHANGE THAT, daddy-o.
(I am not going away.  I am not –darn-it on behalf of us both…going away. Unless you want me to.  That would require some funding.  AND A HOME!)




12:56 pm

“The fact that Abigail would gather supplies in defiance of her husband’s wishes and ride out to meet David herself implies that she was not a woman oppressed by her culture’s patriarchy.”


Abigail and David – Abigail Was King David’s Wisest Wife

Read more at:



3:34 am



7:50 pm


“What for?’ she said. My mother was really hateful about bras, and by the time my third sister had gotten to the point where she was ready to want one, my mother had worked the whole business into a comedy routine. ”

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9:38 am

It is selfish, so very selfish to not care about the world.  It is choosing death and bestowing on all others the vile fulfillment of selfishness.  “Die, you gravy-sucking pigs.”  (Saturday Night Live, Gilda Radner)





3:34 pm

“There comes a time when silence is a betrayal.”  (Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.)


(Guess that one won’t encourage you, you didn’t give a shit when I was RAPED at seven, why should you care now?  How about this…”Margaret Goldthorpe  who didn’t give a shit”…from here to Calcutta…?)



1:50 pm

“Our lives begin to end the moment we remain silent about the things that really matter.”    (Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.)



10:02 am

“Man is the head of the house, but the woman is the neck…”   (My Big Fat Greek Wedding)

Dear Dad, this is check-mate.  (I told you in December, 2012, that it was check-mate).  (I think it was December, I’d have to check my notes. I know I was alone over Christmas.)  I told you that Jesus, who loves you more than you acknowledge, and expects more than you proffer, would give you additional  time to examine the playing board.  I told you I’d stoke the fire and wait for you to become conscious. (Notes, letters, I’ll look them up…906-291-1376.)  This is not  “check.”  You are in check-mate.  You did bad stuff; we all do.  You have refused to come clean; only hell-bound reprobates do that.
I demand one of two things:  1)  truth, or  2) money to find the truth.  I must tell the world what I know about what happened to me.  I cannot proceed without  1) truth,  or  2) money.  “Behold, I stand at the door and knock.”
Even without your input,  I could find what I need if I had a new car, gas money, a place where Josh will learn and grow happy…and a GIRL’S WARDROBE!  (Oh yeah, I need a home as well.)   I f I had these things, I might be willing to keep your name out of my lectures.  I might be willing to destroy (notarized…) documents that record felonies, committed by you.  I might be willing to give you access to the days and days and days and days  of (OCD?…) records of our interactions and your perpetual lies. . (I figure you could hire somebody smart to delete the additional tons… online.)    I need truth or I need money. You figure it out.  “Lord, move my father’s heart to recompense for his crimes, so he won’t need to cover his ass.  [As if he could…]  Thank you, again and again.”




4:11 pm

‘You’re the vilest b**** I’ve met’: Judge lets rip with his contempt for woman sentenced to 30 years for sexually abusing her children with boyfriend

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10:49 am


Read more at:




10:08 am

My mom and dad are going to the burial service of “The Colonel.”   I called him Jim and I miss him already.  Mom wouldn’t tell me when the service was, and I have to take George to the hospital anyway.  They go to “services” because people will see them there.  Jim knows I love him still, and I’ll see him again.  I hope the right people see Mom and Dad at the grave.




6:52 am

Mom, you sneered at me yesterday when I checked the glove compartment of your convertible to see if there was a copy of your registration and proof of insurance before my inexperienced son drove it to Manistique.  I’ve enjoyed these few months when you smiled.  I’ve enjoyed seeing you when you were not  screaming.  Please control yourself.  You’ll feel better.




6:47 pm



8:56 pm

Hey Mom, when was  the last time Dad let you make a decision?


“I have been accused of using the terms sociopath and psychopath mindlessly, accusing everyone I merely disagree with of sociopathy or psychopathy.  Oh, no.  No no, no.  As with everything I say, I am going for crystal clarity and PRECISION.  Socio/psychopaths are people who do not feel shame or guilt.  As a result they lie, cheat and manipulate with extreme ease with a single-minded focus on their own personal gratification.  They will look you dead in the eye and LIE with the utmost sincerity – and they are good at it because they tend to be of above-average intelligence.  And we, as decent people, operate on the base assumption that the people we meet and deal with are NOT lying liars who lie.  If we are unfortunate enough to get tangled up with these people in friendships or even marriages, we assume that they are not USING US AS PAWNS and genuinely mean it when they feign friendship or even love.” 

(Ann Barnhardt, read more at:

10:25 am

“Without confidence and love, there can be no true education.”  (St. John Bosco)


Read more at:





9:46 am







To my mama who didn’t even care when I was raped at seven years old:

6:20 AM

You gave birth to a person who can fix this world.  You have chosen to live as though you believe her father, a known liar.  What side are you on?  Which side are you on?  I do not believe you are a psychopath.  I want to know this is true.  I have opportunity to help fix the world.  Do you care about the world?  Do you only care about your own (counted, limited….influence or  self-indulgence..) effect TO YOUR OWN BENEFIT  influence on the WORLD….  I am glad I’m not you, Mother.  I am grateful every day,  that I am not you.  I also pray that you will come-true before you die.  I pray for you.  Do you pray for me?  This is not a test.  This is the end of time.  You have behaved fraudulently, you have yet room to be truthful.  You will not die, I’ll feed you.  Your man is a fraud, as you know, he’s unkind, as you know, and he’s destined for hell, as you know.  Come hither.  Come to me and I’ll feed you and I’ll speak to Isaac on your behalf.  Do not allow your desire to be accepted by those who know not God and demand that you assist your “man” to drive you to Hell.  I am here and I hear from God (not as often as I’d like but that’s his  business.  You KNOW BETTER.  Do not go to hell because 1)  you got knocked up at 17, or 2) you like your abundance too much.  Come, come from the dark side.  Come to me and you’ll never hunger or thirst.  (You might not get to speak bullshit from a podium but you’ll feel well none the less.)  Speak truth, absorb truth, and be free.  I’ll feed you, as I’m able.  (Wait!  I’m always able!  Dad couldn’t kill me even though he tried!  You KNOW THIS!  I am able because Jesus is my only guiding light.) The man you defend is evil.  I pray for his soul.  I pray for my father who tried to kill me.  I pray for you, who acquiesed  to his evil.  I pray.  Every day I pray.  JESUS IS LORD OF ALL!  Amen.  Your husband is a fraud, and you know this full well.  You are not him, and you can be free.  We are not subjected to this world’s effects, merely.  We will speak to Jesus in person, and this life is insubstantial.  You may be free.Will you come?  Will you speak truth?  Will you abandon physical abundance for eternal joy ?  Or, keep letting Dad fuck other women and give you diamonds? Are you human?




5:49 pm

‘I have met many discouraged, angry, and unhappy children. I have met demoralised kids who were unable to sustain effort when they encountered even mild frustration or disappointment, and others who had developed attitudes of entitlement. And the culprit is not praise, but criticism. Most of these children were over-criticised; very few were overpraised.’


Read more at:





6:44 pm

Adultery with an architect.  The FBI knew EVERYTHING!





5:40 pm

Women who begin dieting at a young age are more likely to suffer eating disorders and alcohol problems

“Found some women began dieting  from as young as THREE”

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5:13 pm

Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It’s not.



4:16 am

So Posh, just how many engagement rings does a girl really need? Victoria Beckham has owned 13 bands worth £4million in 15 years of marriage

  • Designer been spotted wearing 13 engagement rings in 15 years of marriage
  • Thought the bands with diamonds and emeralds are worth £4million
  • Most expensive appears to be a £1million huge heart shaped diamond

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4:45 am

Teacher disciplined because her students’ scores are too high

“Coyle, who was reassigned from her classroom to a clerical job at the end of April, said her students have consistently scored above average on state tests, winning her the highest possible rating on the pupil performance section of the state’s Annual Professional Performance Review.”

“But her students’ solid work has become a problem for Rhame Avenue School teachers at the next grade level and for the school as a whole, according to White.”

See more at:


4:56 am

Financial World Awakening – Engineered Collapse and Confiscation Looming





6:29 am




6:07 am

The Hidden Enemy:   Psychiatry

“This documentary shows how the army is exploited as Psychiatry’s testing ground for drugs and other inhumane “treatment” which have resulted in exponential growth of military suicides. Currently, more US soldiers die from suicide than from combat.”


More at:





4:40 am

Witch Hunt: Under the pretext of promoting mental health, the DSM* stifles dissent

“Under the pretext of promoting mental health, the DSM has been instrumental in the stifling of cognitive dissent. Not only is the DSM analogous to The Malleus Maleficarum, but the respective historical periods of the two texts are analogous as well. Just as the dominant ecclesiastical establishment that promulgated The Malleus Maleficarum was premised on a form of mysticism, namely spiritualism, so is the contemporary religio-cultural milieu that adheres to the DSM.”


(*Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders-5)


Read more here:



5:16 am

The Gates of Hell Have Opened and the US Is Being Attacked and Occupied





7:35 am




2:24 am

God says I’m the safest woman in Michigan.




7:12 pm

Pictured: Couple wanted by police in connection with death of woman dumped and left to die on San Antonio sidewalk

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3:57 am


“One of the least understood strategies of the world revolution now moving rapidly toward its goal is the use of mind control as a major means of obtaining the consent of the people who will be subjects of the New World Order.” From The National Educator, K.M. Heaton


– See more at:



9:22 am



3:19 am




7:47 pm


3:41 am




2:26 am



9:29 am

“This assault on genuinely creative and original modes of thinking is inevitable, given that the ruling elites of the system are characterized by psychopathy, a personality trait which is inherently incapable of creative thought.”


Read more here:




1:36 am




6:27 am



5:57 am

BUSTED! 95% Of Terror Plots In USA Involve Pre-Crime Arrests & Entrapment By Feds!

(This must be easier to accomplish when an ideologically  unacceptable citizen’s parents are supporters of “pre-prosecution” and fabricated thoughtcrime.)






1:17 pm


I couldn’t find Connie’s balls to play fetch so we used  a ping-pong ball my dad left in the house.  Her catching is miraculous, but when she had a ball between her teeth she couldn’t help but chew a bit.  So the game was short.  (I am grateful for the patience of my beloved witnesses; we’ve made history, I’m almost finished.)  This part remains to be said, I, for reasons unbeknownst to myself and unimaginable to my father, have been gifted with more Holy Spirit than has been seen around these parts for generations. (I’ve heard stories about the old days.)  I do not know why this happened (except that I wanted it really bad) but I do know I’ve demonstrated some interesting things to stubborn people.  Last Fathers’ Day I gave my dad 30 4-leaf clovers at 8:15 in the morning.  I found them all within 15 minutes so they were nice and fresh.  Some of them had 5 leaves or 6 and one had seven and I kept that one so actually I gave my dad 29.  Also it was not on Fathers’ Day exactly.  He was in his office and he never goes there on Sundays.  Rather than lose control for even a second, by expressing surprise, he told me I should get a rabbit.  He should follow one.  Isaac said the old pastor left because he thought I’d burn his house down.  How wonderful that he thought I could.  I may go to Curtis to eat pizza with my family tonight in honor of my father.  I may not.




3:38 pm





11:16 am


Want to stop your children taking drugs and drinking? DON’T be too strict: Children of overbearing parents are more likely to go off the rails

  • Children of strict parents who show little affection are more likely to rebel
  • Those who are smothered with love are also likely to drink and take drugs
  • Children whose parents set down firm rules without being overbearing are least likely to rebel

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5:23 pm

This is your government at work.  You have been a government agent.


– See more at:




7:35 pm

“When we stop measuring our success by what we own or how much money we make, we can embrace the challenges that are facing us.”

– See more at:



8:40 pm

“By collating the data, Catherine calculated that nearly 800 babies were buried beneath the housing estate. ‘I was utterly amazed when I realised that I had the names of 796  babies. The causes of death were measles or septicaemia, abscesses, convulsions, tuberculosis or pneumonia; lots were aged three to six months, and then quite a lot of one and two-year-olds. It’s heart-breaking reading through all the names.'”


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7:31 pm

Mom.  My baby’s in pain.  I’m penniless and God has not seen fit to answer my prayers.  You have a lot of money and although I know you never cared when your own children hurt, maybe you’ve changed?


6:05 pm

“Labelled the “Maggies”, the women and girls were stripped of their names and dumped in Irish Catholic church-run laundries where nuns treated them as slaves, simply because they were unmarried mothers, orphans or regarded as somehow morally wayward.”


Read more at:




8:38 am

(Dr. Ron Paul) “… certainly has done so much against the Federal Reserve, for the cause of peace, against all these horrendous wars, against the police state, against regulation of the economy, against all the terrible things the government does.”

“And, Ron, I noticed one terrible thing the government has done recently. They’re proposing a so-called core curriculum to try to bring all the public schools much more under the control of the Department of Education as to what they teach and, of course, their disciplinary policies, everything else about the schools. Isn’t this another reason, maybe an increased reason to consider homeschooling?”

Lew Rockwell:



4:03 pm

“Ironically, Monika Wesolowski’s escaped Poland as she and her family fled communism, only to be victimized by the communist policies of the Virginia CPS with regard to the evisceration of her Constitutional rights and the subsequent unwarranted theft of her child.”


“Many of the CPS agents I have spoken to across the country, tell me that there are “off-the-books” quota systems imposed on individual agents to take children because the money is funneled back into agency operations. As a result, the system is prejudiced against parental rights and keeping families together.”



7:36 am


“Why are we not letting them grow as individuals? Why are we damaging their self-esteem and confidence by trying to make them all fit into the same box?” she added.

“A TEACHER of 14 years published a scathing letter to Michael Gove yesterday saying she was quitting her job because of his “damaging” policies.”

“She said that the Education Secretary’s reforms allowed children “little time to be children.”

Read more at:



7:16 pm

“There can be no greater stretch of arbitrary power than to seize children from their parents, teach them whatever the authorities decree they shall be taught, and expropriate from the parents the funds to pay for the procedure” — author and libertarian philosopher Isabel Paterson.




6:03 pm


3:39 am

The Power of Empathy – Empathy vs Sympathy

Read here:




9:51 am

“It is no secret, what God can do,

What he’s done for others, he’ll do for you,

With arms wide open, he’ll pardon you.

It is no secret, what God can do.”

(Couldn’t find the author, recorded by Elvis, Jim Reeves, Tennessee Ernie Ford, etc.)  (Oh yeah, you sang it too.)




6:38 am


5:48 am

BREAKING! Govt Target List About To Be Revealed! Glenn Greenwald Speaks Out!

I am a targeted individual, and I recorded everything …I feel like I’m in the back row of class wildly waving my hand: PICK ME, PICK ME! (Actually I’ve felt like that my whole life, especially at church.)

If he publishes names I’m the ACLU’s dream plaintiff and I don’t even need the information my father has refused to give me despite my years of tormenting him!

(Maybe some people will buy my book.  I’ve been poor my whole life in a family of rich people. I also always really wanted to change the world. This could be very good.)

Read more at:




7:13 pm

Steve told me a story about Bobbie Bissonette’s daughter, who was apparently murdered at the Natalie flooding.  (I must have been living somewhere else or I would have remembered.)  He said she went there with a man (I forget his name) to have sex and he couldn’t get it up.  (I wonder if that part was in the…the Eagle is watching me now…newspaper.)  Apparently the guy took a knife to her vagina and didn’t stop until he reached her breasts which he removed from her torso. (I remember Bobbie.  My dad and I took fruit to her on Christmas Eve.  My dad hasn’t always been what he is now.)  Ah, the violent days before Viagra.  I suppose he could have thought of another reason to murder her.  I mean the guy, not my dad.  My dad is smart and he can dismember a woman without using a knife.




7:24 am


“Lord, please fill me with love and truth so nobody can question me.  Not even me.  I give you my past and my future and as for the now, ‘let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in thy sight oh, Lord, my strength and my redeemer.’  Show me where I have been unloving or untruthful and show me how to make those things right.  My heart feels close to you and my motivations have been recorded for anybody who loves truth enough to consider my claims.  I stand on your promises 1) in the Bible, and 2) those you spoke to my heart.  Give me courage to not back down in the face of condemnation.  ‘There is therefore now no condemnation to them who are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit.”  I DO SO WALK!  Lord, I beg you to completely fill me with your Spirit so that I can perform miracles that entice those who claim your name to also seek your hand, after first seeking your face.  You said you’d make me a sign and a wonder and I’m still wondering. I love you more than anything on this beautiful Earth that we have made despicable by self-righteousness and hubris.  I will to not despise your world.  I will to see each suffering inhabitant as you made him, her, or it.  Do not allow me to look to the right or the left, but only to you, my beautiful brother and lover.  Do this thing quickly, though?  So many of us are waiting for your TRUTH to pierce the fear and pride of those who control others!  Rip the implements from the hands of the torturers!  Stop us, humanity, as we drive one another over the precipice of lies, injustice and murder.  Break the hearts of those who harm others…with your love.  Take my world for your own purposes, I repent again on behalf of us.  I give you full control of my life and the lives of those with whom I have to do.  You’re holding back!  You’re holding back!  (I shouldn’t be surprised, you said you would.)  But, you also said, “Unless those times be shortened…”  We deserve death, we all do.  Thank you for your great mercy in predicting how we would react to truth.  It must be hard to know, to have known all these centuries, how we would react to Truth.  Thank you for the NSA, alternative media and prophets, who have shown us these things we do not like to hear.  Thank you for everything that has ever happened to me, and thank you for those who have wronged me through fear and psychopathology.  Heal us.  Cleanse us.  Draw us to you because the Bible says if you do not draw us, we will not approach you.  Even if you do, we hesitate.  Redraw the map.  (If you could do it without earthquakes and volcanoes I’d like that.)  Nevertheless, have your way with me, my family, my former  ‘church’ and everybody who watches my every move.  Thank you for the babysitter-angel, and thank you for the blog where I have recorded my entire life.  Amen.”   “<3”
PS-  One of your “daughters” said I was full of the devil!  (She couldn’t help me anyway, she kicked me out of “your” house. )  Please have mercy on her and never, ever leave her alone.  Thank you.






7:37 pm


“If I had only been born with testicles all three of us would have had easier lives.”




5:38 am


“Lord, thank you for all your promises.  Thank you that my children are always honest, kind and unselfish.  Thank you that George has a job and feeds us.  Thank you that it’s 70 degrees in the house today.  Thank you for your prophets.  Thank you for gaining victory over Satan and the world. Thank you for your plan to reveal all TRUTH!  Thank you that injustice will no longer stand!”
“In the precious name of Jesus I remit the sins committed against me.  I ask you to release my parents from the condemnation they’ve garnered by lying about your servants and your blessed Holy Spirit.  Forgive them for lacking compassion for suffering people.  Cover them with your blood and release your goodness upon them so condemnation will not stand in the way of their relationships with you and your people.”
“Please fill me completely with your Spirit!  I know total possession by your love and truth is the only way to change the world as you have longed to do.  (Already did.)  Please lift me above the reproach heaped on me over years.  Allow me to see the world, church and family through your eyes and yours alone!  Forgive me for entertaining provocation!  Forgive me for rising up at injustice and lies, and remind me that my life is not about me.”
“Come, Lord Jesus!  Pour out your Spirit on all flesh as you promised!  Prepare laborers to take these new creatures under our wings and to teach them about the Secret Place of your presence. Teach me the Sword Dance!  I’ve been waiting to dance with you for so long!  Break open the heavens and come to us in fullness and majesty!  Change my heart and change others’ so that you are the only thing that matters.”



“Intimate relationships are an ongoing practice in vulnerability.”

(Isaac said you told him you love me.)

(I wrote “thank you for loving  hugging me because I thank God every day for loving me.  I meant to say “thank you for hugging me” but I slipped through  habit.  One does not love what one does not know. I am grateful that God knows me and loves me anyway.  I am also grateful that you stooped to hug me once in the past five years.)


I’d like to be intimate with you, I always wanted that when you were giving Jean a backrub and I was crying  from mom-hunger in my bedroom.  I’d like to know how it feels to manufacture the appropriate feelings and behaviors, to please a man who isn’t even pleased in his own skin.  We could talk and maybe help one another.  But, if you just want to call me names I guess that isn’t possible.




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