Family Declarations (as permitted)/page closed 11/16/14

11/16/14

CONTINUED on “Family Declarations –Book 2”

2:16 am

Got my coffee.

Dad didn’t call yesterday either, or bring me the money he offered me to go to Belgium.  No surprise, he invited me out to dinner last MAY!

pathological

2:12 am

MUSIC BREAK

I woke up with this one in my head.  Dedicated to Jesus:

 

—-

11/15/14

2:07 pm

The psychopath  chooses a victim based on vulnerability, and my father’s home was a hothouse of learned helplessness.  (I don’t think my mom would be so narcissistic and controlling if she hadn’t spent half her childhood with him.  She found different defense mechanisms than I. )  I adored my dad and torturing me was fun because I provided abundant narcissistic- supply;  I’d whine and cry as he shot me down again and again.   A narcissist chooses a target with characteristics he lacks, and I am not a liar. I was the perfect victim.  My father broke my heart week after week, year after year, and it was a great blessing.  When I was offended, Jesus said I was not to rise up against the circumstances, but wait for him to change my heart on the matter.
I used to be in SO MUCH PAIN and I knew there was no hope for personal peace except from Jesus.  He delivered me from arthritis, chronic sinus infections, headaches, spastic colon.  I was tormented by false responsibility, in futile attempts to earn love.  I was damaged by an abusive marriage.  I was damaged by years of pointless servitude and drudgery; I could never get ahead.  I was damaged when I was tortured and raped, when all my friends and family turned on me, and when my father waged a smear campaign to cover his attempts to murder me.   I guess my prayer-life is unusual; I’ve prayed all day and all night for many years. Jesus un-damaged me.  I no longer look to humans for validation or approval. I know a constant source of love.
Character-disorder-experts, and neuroscientists, and researchers, and psychologists, and psychiatrists and internet pundits ALL advise targeted individuals the same.  They say, “RUN.”  “These people are conniving and false. Do not expect normal behavior, ever.”  Psychopaths are pathological liars, manipulative, self-aggrandizing, abusive, sneaky; we will never see a psychopath EVER acknowledge his defect, or the harm he causes.  But, I’m not running. I will not run from my abuser because I know something that all the professionals do not:  Jesus fixes damaged people.
I’m grateful that I grew up in a house with no love, because I learned to lean on Jesus.  I’m grateful for the torture, because I learned how strong I am.  I’m grateful my dad refused to talk to me for years,  because I learned how pitifully weak he is.  I’m grateful he tried to murder me, because I learned to forgive.  I’m grateful to know that we can tolerate affront, even abuse and torture, if we understand that this world is not our home. Home is where love is.   I’m grateful to be the “targeted individual of a psychopath” because I KNOW there is hope for others who are also abused.  I’m grateful for what God will do with my experience.  I’m grateful that I will soon be loving others home.
How many psychiatrists does it take to change a lightbulb?
Only one, but the lightbulb has to REALLY WANT TO CHANGE.
(I use ‘psychopath’ kind of interchangeably with ‘narcissist’ because the pharmaceutical-reps who wrote the DSM-5 have eliminated “Narcissistic Personality Disorder”  although “narcissist” is still used in a definitional manner.)

 

 

 

 

—-

5:57 am

Defending the indefensible presupposes an agenda.  One does not say stupid things in defense of evil if one has nothing to gain.  Do you suppose that Nancy Pelosi enjoyed telling us that 1) nobody read the obamacare abomination bill, but 2) everything will be fine because after it passed,  then they would read it.  (She’s dumb but if she was that dumb her lipstick would be all smeary.)  How many standing ovations did Congress give to Netanyahu for butchering children?  Why do we permit one man to unilaterally decide (albeit with precedent set by PNAC et al) to replace Bashar al-Assad who has supported (more or less) ethnic diversity in Syria, even for Christians?  Iran has Jews on its legislature, yet we’re told they are an enemy to all things moral and good?  (I guess if having Jews in a legislature is tantamount to morality, America does traverse the high ground.)  At least 30 cities have outlawed FEEDING PEOPLE and the “authorities” approve and promote that violation of basic biological necessity.  Police officers killed a high school kid this week when they broke up a drinking party and she ran away.  They SHOT A HUMAN FEMALE IN THE BACK BECAUSE SHE DID NOT WANT TO SUFFER THEIR PENALTY FOR PUTTING SOMETHING INTO HER BODY THAT THEY SAID SHE COULD NOT.  These things are indefensible, yet we not only permit them, we pay for them and we ignore them. Clapper told Congress:  “No!  Of course we’re not spying on Americans.”  He lied.  He recognized the indefensibility of government actions, and (wrongly, obviously) assumed we’d be smart enough to demand that he defend them.  His perjury was more honest than the truth, in a sense.
Those who make their living defending the indefensible, necessarily undergo an emotional and mental realignment.  They couldn’t do it, otherwise.  They suffer a break from reality and from their own humanity. They must set aside justice and common sense to perform their duties.  They become sub-human in their promotion of other men’s agendas.  Psychopaths need minions and we’ve become a nation of willing minions.  Our perverted leaders have an agenda that only includes us as a social experiment of little consequence, and for doing the grunt work.  (At least until they get all the robots to do things for them.  Trans-humanist lobotomies for the 500,000,000 permitted to remain.  [Georgia Guidestones, etc.])  We do evil things, and stupid things, because some “authority” tells us to!  (I learned this lesson in the cradle.)   The minions destroy on command and against their own best interest.  Subjugation of other people makes them crazy and they no longer believe they are subject to consequences.  A cop raped a girl on the hood of his patrol car.  Another one (southern state, references on request, I don’t remember) raped a minor girl FIVE DIFFERENT TIMES.  His fellow cops watched each time.  Their GOVERNMENT paychecks kept clearing the bank though.
“Nuremberg” is recognized as euphemistic for the  fact that “obeying orders” does not absolve one from guilt for consequences.  This is so rarely apparent in our present reality, that we recognize but one example of note. Nuremberg is a footnote, when in reality personal moral responsibility is the foundation of humankind’s existence!  We all know this:  “Pay the piper.”  “Karma.”  “All men will give an account for the deeds performed while in their body.”   “Ya gotta dance with him what brung ya.”  It takes a very disturbed personality to do indefensible things and to defend indefensible things when one’s own soul and eternity hang in the balance.   Arresting a 90 year-old man THREE TIMES for feeding homeless people is indefensible.  A single mother of four, a waitress, served time because her GRASS WASN’T MOWED.  I can only imagine the MOUNTAIN of things she thought more important than the aesthetic MOLEHILL of community disapproval.   She may go to jail again;  there is ivy growing on her house.
Second-grade homework teaches that we have the “right to choose a religion”…because GOVERNMENT gave it to us.  This is not only fallacious and arrogant, it is also logically indefensible.  I CHOOSE  my  “religion” because I KNOW the guy who created fallacious men to begin with.  Cops regularly invade public schools with guns and screaming and threats and we ALLOW THEM TO TERRORIZE CHILDREN.  There is no defense for this behavior aside from psychosis.  Crazier still is the fact that parents put their kids on the schoolbus the next day just like nothing ever happened.  Normal-thinking people do not tolerate TERRORISTS.  It takes a special kind of crazy to defend the United States of America, Inc.  Their priorities are not conducive to human life, liberty and happiness.  The firm’s employees do not protect and serve PEOPLE.  They protect and serve an ANTI-PEOPLE AGENDA.
True authorities defend the defenseless, not what is morally, rationally, brutally indefensible.   The relationship between psychopaths and minions is not a question of authority.  Both groups are illegitimate human mutations. Both groups are degenerate and exercise immoral control over natural humans.  That we permit it to continue demonstrates our own advancing psychosis and character degradation.
(The girl who was raped five times may not have been a minor.  I think the article said “teenager” but she might have been 18 or 19.)

—-

4:04 am

“One nation, under God?” Give me a frigging break already!  Let’s rip those flags off of the “churches.”  They’re an offense!

90 year-old man with bigger balls than any Baptist  I ever met.

3rd Arrest for 90-Year-Old Man Who Feeds Homeless. The city of Fort Lauderdale has issued three criminal citations against him, but he says he has no fear of spending time in jail.

“Abbott’s been cited with a criminal violation three times since the city’s ban on “public food sharing” went into effect Oct. 22. His most recent arrest came Wednesday night, according to WSVN.com.

 

“The station reported that Abbott, as promised, was out on Fort Lauderdale Beach feeding the homeless Wednesday when local police parted the crowd to issue the elderly man his third criminal citation. They did, however, allow him to continue feeding the hungry who had gathered.”

 

(At least the cops were more respectful this time.  Last time they demanded he drop a plate as if it were a weapon.  I hope they’re developing some GENUINE SHAME.)

 

Read more at:   http://refreshingnews99.blogspot.in/2014/11/3rd-arrest-for-90-year-old-man-who.html

 

 

1:52 am

Well, Dad didn’t come for cookies yesterday, or call.  (Of course.)  More surprising, he didn’t bring me the money he offered me.  If God doesn’t want my evidence to go to Brussels then he probably has a really good way for me to use it locally.

 

—–

 

11/14/14

3:56 pm

All the Baptist rapists I know live in America.  Good thing, huh?

Frustrated With the Law, India’s Rape Victims Turn to Revenge Killings

Vigilante castrations, murders and other forms of retribution are becoming more and more commonplace as the country’s rape problem continues

India Revenge Killings 002re

“After dragging Kumar off the girl, the group stripped him, hacked off his genitals with a meat cleaver and threw them in the street—while filming it on their smartphones, of course.”

“If matters are not corrected in time,” she adds, “people get desperate.”

 

“Back in May, a 23-year-old woman took brutal revenge on her father, who allegedly had been sexually abusing her for past three years. She clubbed him in his sleep with the help of two male friends, then tore apart his chest with a piece of glass to wrench out his pacemaker.”

 

“I am not surprised at all. The fact that these victims could not take recourse to the law straight away just heightened the pain to unacceptable levels,” says Dipankar Gupta, a sociologist who has studied the problem closely.

More here:   http://www.vocativ.com/world/india/india-rape-culture-revenge/

 

 

—-

11/14/14

11:30 am

MUSIC BREAK

Grandma used to sing this, and play it on the piano.  (She tried to teach Dad but all he ever learned was “Somewhere Over the Rainbow.”)

10:35 am

MUSIC BREAK

Dedicated to ME.  I can hear my dad singing it…  ‘You can blame it all on me, I was wrong and I just can’t live without you…’

(I got my singing talent from him)

10:31 am

Apology primer, for my dad and anybody else who needs help.

Not like this:

Liam writes a not-so-sorry apology note to Brody. At least he's being honest 

More like this:

A child writes an apology to his friend after karate chopping him 'in the privates'

This is MUCH better:

A take-away container full of crispy bacon (left) is one apology that's hard to beat. 'Sorry honey' (right) just doesn't cut it

(Nothing says “sincere” like a box of bacon.)

—-

7:08 am

Man embeds computer chips in hands to store Bitcoin

“He has also used the chips to program an alarm clock to only switch off when he places one or both of them against a sensor – forcing him to wake up on time in the mornings. He also hopes to fit an NFC-enabled door lock at home so that he can ditch his house keys and instead just touch his palm to the door frame in order to gain access.”

 

Sure sounds like the mark of the beast to me.

Read more at:   http://www.redicecreations.com/article.php?id=32022

—-

6:50 am

Telepathy is now possible using current technology

No shit, Sherlock.  (I can’t believe they call this stuff “news”.)

Read here:  http://www.vox.com/2014/11/9/7181029/telepathy-brain-communication

This picture must be from the fifties.

 

6:13 am

TEXT TO DAD:

“I made chocolate-hazelnut cookies for Josh’s lunch and they’re still warm.  If you’re out plowing, stop by and I’ll run a couple out to you.  Kosher salt on the tops, they’re great.”

Josh says, “Lots of upscale restaurants use salt to accent chocolate…”  (How he knows that I’ll never guess.)

—-

5:19 am

FAMILY:

——

4:40 am

“…at war with the principles that build integrity…”

Isn’t that poetry?

Dad never brought me money yesterday so maybe I’m not going to Brussels.

Or maybe he’ll bring it today, and apologize!

—-

4:25 am

I’m going to have a really good relationship with my father.  I’ve never had a good relationship with a character-impaired person, so I’m studying up.  (And, I may be the only person still speaking to him once his duplicitous nature has been revealed to those he has successfully duped.)  “…folks who either place themselves above (narcissists) or are at war with (the aggressive personalities) the principles that build integrity into a person’s character, can use just about any behavior or tactic you can think of for manipulative purposes. So your greatest protection against victimization is correctly assessing the character of the person with whom you might have a relationship.”  (Dr. George Simon)  Jesus is my “protection against victimization” but he also permits it, for his purposes.  I’ll see his hand in my father’s life more clearly now that I’m free of expectations-of-approval, and can see my father clearly.  I observe his past, present and future and although professionals offer little hope for rehabilitation of those who abuse others to fulfill themselves, I know there are good things in store for Dad.

My first husband was extremely abusive.  To my complaints he’d say, “I’m molding you,”  “I’m shaping you.”  He lied.  I was “shaped” a whole bunch of ways, because I chose to be a Godly wife.  As soon as I’d get my behavior in line with his demands, he’d change the rules!  He got his rocks off by seeing me jump.  (In retrospect, I should have recognized my father’s character flaws much sooner.)  It is abusive and sinful to control another person’s behavior.  It is abusive and sinful to lie.  It is abusive and sinful to 1) smear a person’s reputation, 2) alter a person’s relationships with loved ones, 3) try to have a person be locked up for no reason whatsoever, 4) steal a person’s home, 5) spy on a person,  and 6) attempt murder.  My father told Isaac he’d never apologize to me.  “Never.”  His reluctance to do what he knows he must is not a surprise.  My politics and faith were none of his business, and I can’t believe he ever thought my puny attempts at personhood posed much threat to his existence.  Do you suppose he just likes jerking me around?  (Did.  “Did like.”  Times have changed and praise Jesus, I have too.)

I’ve never seen my father make a sincere apology…to anybody.  The character-impaired have standard MO’s in situations where an apology is required.  A normal (sic…) response is to minimize the abuse, and apologize for a small offshoot.  My dad on the other hand, is very dramatic.  He’ll never say, “I’m sorry I lied” or  “I’m sorry I disregarded your humanity by making decisions about you behind your back.”   He’ll go over-the-top and whine, “I’m SO SORRY I was a bad father” or “I’m SO SORRY I’m a terrible person.”  His grandiose apologies for his terribleness are  intended to make the accuser back down, in pity.  (FAIL. He really WAS a bad father and he really WAS a terrible person.)   I also have apologized for my existence,  but continual degradation created a staircase of remorse.  I apologized first, for EVERY SMALL THING HE SAID OFFENDED HIM.  I’ve apologized for every breath I took and every scrap I ate.  With tears and pleading.  He’s seen enough sincere apologies to do the job right.

So, I’m preparing for when my dad offers his very first act of repentance.  Should I believe he’s really sorry?  Shrinks say to be careful on this point, because without true remorse, he’ll abuse me again.  (I can’t let that happen if we’re to have a healthy adult relationship…and we are.)  “It isn’t that he doesn’t recognize the seriousness of the issues. If he didn’t think others regarded the issue as serious he wouldn’t feel the need to trivialize it. But refusing to accept the principle at hand and to accept the need to change his stance indicate he’s sure to repeat his misconduct.”

The character-impaired person is:

Fighting   you    (trying to back you into a corner and get you to back-off or back-down) for a position of advantage in your relationship.

Fighting    to maintain an undeserved positive image.

Fighting    against internalizing the principle they know you’d like them to accept (i.e. that trust in relationships is based on the willingness to be honest with your partner).  And it’s this last reality that tells you unequivocally that the behavior you find troubling will definitely occur again. A person simply can’t fight against a principle and internalize it at the same time.  It’s just not possible.  

“Accepting the principle and making a commitment to improve would sound something like:  ”You’re right, I shouldn’t have lied to you. I need to do better on that score.  And I’ll prove myself worthy of your trust by doing things differently in the future.”   (Dr. George Simon)

There is no fighting in adult relationships, and no manipulation.  There is no advantage, only mutual support and concern.  I know my dad is capable of functioning on this higher level.  (It’s important, not for me anymore, but I often think of my frightened teen-age mother stuck in a trailer with a baby and a psychopath and nowhere to go.)  He is not permitted to manipulate other adults and soon that will become obvious.  Everybody will either  1) lie,  or 2) admit they lied before and make a heartfelt apology to their victims and God Almighty.  I know my dad will do the right thing.

Of course not everybody agrees with me:

“I believe the right way to deal with an abuser who has been in the church and who hides behind a christian facade and uses the name of Christ to justify his evil is to tell him “Depart from our midst.  Go! God does not permit you to be among us.”  And then focus on helping the victim.”

–Barbara Roberts:  http://cryingoutforjustice.com/

11/13/14

5:46 am

There’s going to be a new race appearing pretty soon, a whole new species of person.  Now that lying has been abolished, all the truthers will rise to the top of society.  Honest people will be surprised how many psychopaths lurk among us.  (Psychopaths already know they’re different.  They consider it an advantage.)   Truthers will have a lot of money because God knows they can be trusted to use it helping others.  God will begin to change us, by truth and love.  We will carry those attributes forever and communicate with one another in new, unimaginable ways.  Religions will be recognized as the pointless distraction they’ve always been, and we will gather in the presence of the Lord, as we were always meant to do.  Being in the presence of the Lord changes people and we will keep changing until he transfigures our bodies.  We will do as he wishes and enjoy both the privilege and the activities.  We will become more creative in our manipulations of social structures and our environment.  Before long  the psychopaths will pick one another off in fear of losing what is already lost;  but the new race will miss them less than a butterfly misses its cocoon.  We will recognize how those things we valued…became our prisons.  Back when humans still permitted lying.  We will be very grateful.

—–

5:01 am

I do want to take a vacation though.  I had no idea how time-consuming it would be, shaking down a guilty man. I work ’round the clock and I miss doing other stuff.  I like making things with my hands and I’ve made some beautiful things.  A couple months before I began the blog I sewed a whole wardrobe, and a Civil War uniform for Josh.  And a Cossack hat out of fake fur.  (The wardrobe is too small or I’d not be wearing Josh’s old clothes.  I sewed up every tablecloth in the house!  I felt like Scarlet O’Hara. I also felt that God was going to make me smaller.)   I don’t really like computers at all;  I’d like to knit, and crochet, and paint.  I’d like to take a long drive and get really lost until God shows me the way.  I’d like to talk to strangers at rest areas and eat in the car. I’d like to ride a train across a foreign country for days.  I’d like to read for fun, rather than education.   I’d like to get to know my family, now that lying has been abolished.  I miss David and Chris.  They used to be really fun sometimes.  I imagine when all the subterfuge is gone, we’ll  laugh a lot.
I’m trying to imagine what I will do when my father apologizes.  (I mean after I lift him up by the armpits, from where he’s kneeling.)  I’ll say, “You meant it for evil, but God meant it for good.  Now that you choose to be good, you can help me fight evil with the experiences we shared.  I love you and I’m grateful you will now treat me as an adult.  I will do the same for you, and give you the benefit of a doubt.  I will trust you again.  Now, what can I do for you?”

—–

4:50 am

This is a really great short sermon.  Also a poem.  Lots of truth.
“The Mirror in the Void”

—–

11/12/14

6:21 pm

GEEZE!  My brother texted me!!!!!  So I responded:

“Please spell right and I may understand you.  Dad did a smear campaign on me and my family.  You bought it.  That makes you stupid until you prove otherwise.  It’s just a fact.”

——

5:55 pm

Text to my smarter-than-everybody father-slash-entrepreneur:

“Josh wants ten days off.  David talked about snow-angels.  Glad you got a boy.”

—-

5:03 pm

MUSIC BREAK

“There’s a man who swears he’s not to blame…all day long I hear him shouting loud!  Crying out that that he’s been framed…but I swear I REMEMBER EVERY FACE, OF EVERY MAN WHO PUT ME HERE…I SHALL BE RELEASED.”

4:42 pm

You know how to tell when my dad’s lying?  Me neither.

(So I go with stats…)

—-

3:04 pm

Text to Dad:

Soon.  I’ll need cash soon.  Or not.  I remember many things and I could sit here and write forever.  My nieces are worth it.

2:40 pm

The only text my dad responded to was the one about my offer not to write about him.  He said that stuff doesn’t bother him.   Nice try.  At least I know he’s keeping up with the news.

—-

2:29 pm

I was wrong.  There is something sadder than an aging psychopath.  That would be a stupid psychopath who is also older than dirt.

2:20 pm

Text to Dad:
You’re so cute when you lie.  Good thing, right?  (‘If I had two faces do you think I’d be wearing this one?’)  I do not want to go to Europe for 9 days.  This is work, not pleasure.  Also, I’d like to buy the ticket myself so I’ll need cash.  Thank you.
(“…I don’t know what you mean Lin…”  WTF?  Of course not!  Three years he’s refused to talk to me!  That’s the point already.  And I got his point…right where the sun don’t shine.  And I kept notes.  3.5 million and one very contrite father, before this is over.)

——

1:42 pm

My dad offered me nine days in Europe with a hundred dollars a day spending money.  He said that when I get back I should have a “physical.”  (He asked me to go to a doctor before, when he was gaslighting me.  I told him I’d go to any doctor he wanted…then he drove away.  He’s bluffing.)   I said, “You waged a smear campaign on me and I’m coming out of it with or without you.  If you don’t want to do the right thing, I don’t have to go.”

———–

12:30 pm

Text to my mom and dad:

“How ’bout this:  you give me two thousand dollars to go to the conference and I don’t write about you while I’m gone?  My readers depend on your antics for entertainment and a sense of superiority but the conference  is more important.”

—-

11:16 am

All these years I’ve been grateful for the genetic spin-of-the-wheel…but now, big butts are GREAT!  (Everybody’s gorgeous if we live long enough.)

MUSIC BREAK

An  oldie but a goodie…

(Pardon the spelling errors…)

—-

10:09 am

Text to my dad:

We both know I have the right to demand much more.  You even took my home!

—–

10:03 am

Text to my dad:

You had a baby you didn’t want.  Wouldn’t it be fun if that baby changed the world for the babies you did like?

—-

9:55 am

Destiny means fulfilling one’s purpose.  Most of us don’t even know we have a purpose, or its accompanying extraordinary destiny.  I’m blessed to have my purpose published and notarized.  Purposelessness leads to television watching which leads to indoctrination which leads to shopping which means we become part of the problem.  I am willing to stand up for the eternal right of human beings to think for themselves.  I am willing to lay down my life for this cause, as Jesus directs.  If there are no men willing to do the same, they should probably support my efforts.  One does not meticulously record her life at the will of an unseen entity without a purpose.  I will fulfill my purpose.  Otherwise, what is the point of my birth?

—-

9:49 am

Text to my dad:

“Thank you for plowing.  May I please purchase my airline ticket today?”

——–

5:53 am

Text to my dad:

Soon, they will rape your grandchildren too.  I wish to confront the psychopaths, and I should go to the Covert Harassment Conference in Brussels.  You should pay for me to do what you are too timid (and ill-equipped) to do.  I should leave in six days.  

4:39 am

One sentence never heard in Heaven:   But nobody told me…

11/11/14

4:00 pm

I need a miracle, but I’ve needed one for years and I’ve survived just fine on “synchronicities.”  I see miracles, I’ve seen big ones.  But, usually I just see little things.  Many times I’ll post an article or turn a phrase and I’ll feel, “There.  If anybody’s watching, I’m finished.  I said it just right.  Surely they’ll wake up now.”  Those times come and go and I still wait.  I have a mighty thing to do.  I can’t get started.  I’m pretty antsy.  So many times I’ve thought, “this is it.”  Any second God could perform a miracle for me.  Unless he does, I’m in prison.  Until he does, I’m in prison.  It’s his prison though, no matter how psychopathologically my father likes to claim it.  Just you wait and see!  “My dad’s bigger than your dad…”

—-

2:56 pm

George is gone.  I feel twenty pounds lighter.  Still amazes me.  I keep waiting for some normal man to take him aside and say, “Look.  You haven’t slept with her for years and you don’t seem to miss it.  Even if you don’t want to go find a life for yourself, maybe if you left she could have one.”

1:52 pm

MUSIC BREAK

“If you can’t hold your head up, get off the sidewalk.”  (A very smart man)

1:45 pm

I’m begging for more, my prayers always beg for more.  Even when I’m choking on fresh manna.  I say with disgusting table-manners…”give me more!”  I pray always, “Enlarge my heart, increase my capacity, fill me more with your Spirit of Love and Truth!  MORE.”  Jesus laughs at me.  As I struggle to maintain, he says, “You wanted more…”  I can’t believe what he says, for weeks sometimes.  That’s even after I’ve  ACCEPTED it.  I say, “OK, I think this is you and I think you’re saying thus and so…”  Then I wait.  I say, “I choose to believe what you say…”  (I say this to the entity I know to be Jesus the Christ.  Then I wait some more.)  (I do allow that I may be mistaken in my interpretation of events.  Jesus however, does not have that freedom.)  When I heard about my dad’s attempts against my life, it took a couple years to digest.  Then we moved on.  I’d like for Dad to do the same.

12:54 pm

I can’t stand listening to George give legal advice.  He gets all righteous and bad-ass.  He sounds like a force to be reckoned with.  But he still voted.  He got up early to vote.  I said, “They want you to vote so you feel like you had some say in your imprisonment.”  As he left he said, “It works.”  Isaac’s only been in “the house” for three months and already he’s receiving utility bills.  I told him if he wanted to assume all responsibility for a community, it should be ISAAC’S community.  But, if he cares enough about those people to keep the lights on, then that’s OK but he should know he’s dealing with a deadbeat house-holder.  He wants to help.  Also, he has no credit rating so he can’t be forced onto the lease after the previous 5 people have pulled out.  George says, “They CAN’T do that.”  I beg to differ. They CAN and they DO.

11:28 am

All I need is one sentence from my dad:  “I put you under surveillance;  I talked to…[        ]. ”   (I assume that’s what my mom meant when she screamed, “We HAD TO DO IT.” )  (I don’t know where she got the “had to” part from.  I am a high-functioning adult person.)  (“Please God, allow that the evil-doer my dad retained to torture me be an entity of the US government.”)  (We don’t need to talk about the murder attempts.  I’m good with that.)  The road to Curtis is the worst I’ve ever seen it.  (Except once.)  Mackinac county isn’t plowing and the pile of slush between the tire-tracks is so high I don’t know how Josh made it to work in a VW.  I took him some boots because he got his shoes soaked.  (I didn’t ask for details.) George is awake, he said he wishes he’d gotten more sleep, but said, “That was my fault.”  Yes, it is.   At five am he was still awake, shopping.  I can’t change anything here because I lack ONE SENTENCE FROM MY DAD.  “Lord, I rest my case.  I do so again.  Forgive me for lifting it up again.  You’re the judge and you know what we’re dealing with.”  George said, “Yes, I do wish Josh had had more driving experience.”  “I rest my case again.  Will you ever let me shut up?”

11:54 am

I need one sentence and 3.5 million dollars.

—-

10:38 am

There is incongruity in my life and it causes me to feel dis-ease.  I cater to and keep warm a man who is unlike me, and who expects nothing ever better for himself or his family.   I’d be very happy folding underwear for a man with goals.  George’s fondest goal is to retire from a job he hates, and then to live with his mother.  What’s stopping him from enjoying those things now?  He’s not getting any younger.  My father put us in a prison when he took our house, there’s no way out, in the legal-natural realm.  However, God is my jailer and God has plans for me.  How wonderful if my dad would tell the truth so we could sort out our misorganized living arrangements with truth and hope?  How wonderful when my father tells the truth and restores the many things he’s stolen from a family that wanted nothing more than to serve God!  How wonderful, when my dad grows up.

6:25 am

Here is an actual website for a company that gang stalks.

“There are multiple “revenge” packages available on the website designed to help ruin the subject’s life. He claims it’s all “legal” because they never physically touch the subject.”

“He claims they got started exposing businessmen who went over to Thailand to “pop off”. I know the American government was involved in operations in Thailand trying to track visiting pedophiles who engaged in child prostitution there.”

More at:   http://stoporgangstalking.wordpress.com/2014/11/10/nefarious-jobs/

—-

5:46 am

Dear Parents, I hope you are not taking this wrong.  I do not plead for your acceptance.  (Frankly, I am more secure in my morality if people like you do not like me.)  This is about your mistaken judgment, and forthcoming restitution.  You did wrong.  You did VERY wrong and you must make amends.  Sooner is better, for you and for me.  However, eternity is a very long time and time is on my side.  God’s courtroom procedure does not allow silence in lieu of self-incrimination.  No Constitution, no amendments.  “By your words you will be justified, by your words you will be condemned.”  Just good old fashioned testimonies.   You caused me to suffer religious persecution in the United States of America.  That’s a sin a dozen different ways, especially for state-worshipers.

—-

3:59 am

What a man believes on Friday night is not necessarily what he believes on Monday morning.  (Or Sunday morning.)  I can’t follow a hypocrite.  We’re supposed to find somebody who is “righter” than we are, and to follow him.  I don’t need to be right…I need to WANT to be right.  When I’ve found a person righter than myself, I’ve been easily correctable.  I am a born follower.  I just can’t follow a hypocrite.  God knows that and pretty soon I’ll be in line where I belong.  I can’t wait to not be the rightest person I know.
—-
I saw a woman answer a question once, on the “Newlywed Game.”  They asked, “What is your new husband’s favorite euphemism for having sex?”  She said, “Boobs.”  They laughed at her a lot.  She didn’t know why they were laughing.  My father goes through life dreading such moments.  He recognizes that he lacks linguistic skills, and attempts to stack the deck in his favor, although he is on edge all the time, lest he be exposed as not the most capable/educated/suave/rich/super-dooper-bullshit-pooper…in the room.  What he doesn’t know is that we all feel that way.  I never entered a courtroom even one time without believing I was the stupidest creature in the room.  This was rarely the case.  I believed what my dad said about me.  He also believed what his dad said about him.
—-
George is shopping online.  He’s not looking for hunting gear because he says he’s no longer going to pretend to be a hunter.  (Ed. note:  I added the “pretend”.)  I pray that he will be fulfilled, that he will find purpose and joy.  Methinks he cannot if he continues to drool over Facebook and Ebay.  “Lord, have mercy on us all.  Amen.”

—–

3:15 am

MUSIC BREAK

Osmond Brothers – When The Red Robin Comes Bobbin’ Along – 1965

—–

11/10/14

4:58 pm

Josh was a little late from work, so I went looking.  It was his first snowfall as a licensed driver.  I met him at the end of our road and turned around.  He said he knew I’d be coming.  I think it gave him confidence.  He knew.  I said, “I am the best driver in the world” and we argued about that.  He knew I’d be coming.  That means that I don’t even have to be the best driver, I am a good mom.  He knows that no matter what happens, I will help him. I made venison vegetable soup and crumpets.  Pasties for his lunch, blackberry tart and butter tarts.

—–

2:27 pm

George slept until 1:15 yesterday.  Then, at midnight I woke to blazing lights and thuds against my bedroom wall as George stacked wood.  Josh had to work today; his bedroom shares the wood-pile-wall.  If I were to do such a thing, the boys would say I was being “passive-aggressive.”  George is absolved of any crime requiring specific intent.

——-

2:01 pm

I feel like I’m going to explode today.  These men are such a disappointment.

My dad’s shenanigans depend on other men being better than he.  He figures that in, when he begins a smear campaign.  He understands when our jaws should drop and when our vanity gets tickled.  He’s a master player.  We all bore him, every one of us.  (Except me.  Sick bastard.)  He knows how we’ll react to certain intelligence and he later chuckles on the pot.  (I’ve seen him take a dump.  He used to call me in if I wanted to talk.)  “You’re a sad, strange little man, and you have my pity.”  (Toy Story)    My father will treat me well, and acknowledge his influences in my “sad, strange” life.  I may not be around to hear his apology.  (If God is merciful.)

—–

1:45 pm

George called me sweet today.  I do not understand how he might pretend to know.  He hasn’t been interested in anything I’ve done for years.  Maybe I’ll try this, “Look, George.  I squeeze you for every cigarette and bottle you’ll come across with.  I do this to make a point.  You’re not good for me and you’re not good for Josh and you’re not good for you.  When we needed a man, you were not there.  Go somewhere and get happy and be a happy good man and then come see us.”

—–

You offered me to another man and I went for it.  You’re done here.

——

10:56 am

Text to my dad:   “I should go to Brussels and you owe me.  Are you ever going to be a man?”

—–

10:42 am

Well if I’m going to Belgium I’ve got to go in a week.  No money yet.  I have a ring that belonged to my grandma, it’s the last valuable thing I own.  (I don’t even own my car.  Not that it’s valuable anyway.)  I think I’ll try to pawn it.  I should be at that conference I think.  George said he’d help with food and lodging, if I could get there.  He never gave me the jewelry back though.

——

3:41 am

“A hard-headed empirical examination of the lives of this new lower class…If you say that deep satisfactions in life come from one of four domains…family, community, vocation, and faith…there are increasing numbers of people who aren’t married, they aren’t working, they’ve fallen away from religion, and they’re living in their communities isolated from any interaction with other people.  Those people are living lives that have been stripped of a great deal of the stuff of life.  The most impoverished part of all is they don’t know there is anything better out there.  We have kept that piece of information to ourselves.  It is non-judgmentalism run amok, to say these are his choices…(to ignore self-harm is…) a form of cruelty.  We address it by deep introspection.  We live it openly.  We don’t make it easy for people to live miserable lives.”  (Charles Murray)

1:10 am

Old Boys Networks and Red Lines – Stuck In The Matrix – Morris

“You have no free souls.”

“They’ve got everything at their disposal, to pull the  plug on your life.  You learn to talk to them.”

—-

11/9/14

3:56 pm

They know your frequency, the demons and the NSA.  They can now pick you out in a crowd, with or without implants.  (Everybody has implants anyway.  They’ve been testing pre-schoolers in Europe.  Chemtrails? Dentists?)  Not only can they find you but they also can also find the you.  They know what pushes your buttons and they push them.  Anonymously.  I’ve had a really rough day, I don’t know if my torment was electronic or spiritual, but I know if I record how I feel, I will then feel better.  (I’m following the peace.  I only have peace when I’m writing or cooking.)  They know how to stab your heart.  They show you memories, or reassert feelings, even smells.  Then you get nailed with depression, or futility, or panic.  It’s not real.  You can just say no.  Today I was under attack a lot.  I will know the nature of my torment.  “All things will be revealed.”  Also, the cyber-stalking, I’d like to know from whence cometh certain distractions. (I can almost hear voices saying, “Yeah.  Go ahead, do it again.  She’s so dumb she’ll just keep going…”)   I have SO MANY QUESTIONS.  I said every day, “Lord, do not allow me to believe even one thing that is not true,” and he tells me what to believe.  When I do that, I stay out of danger.  Contradictory messages are impossible to navigate.  Without spiritual guidance we’re sure to hit a land mine.  Now.

——

12:42 pm

McCain is “seriously leaning” toward running for reelection.  He’s too old to be president now; I wonder how that feels?  An aging psychopath has few options, few delights, few fans.  Fetishes remain, but they’re more costly. To die a psychopath is to die slow and hard.  The death-slope has no bottom, it’s a bottomless pit.  As memories grow louder and belch smoke, kind voices will torment every psychopath.  Love will finally be defined, by its stark absence.  The psychopath does not feel.  That won’t stop him from knowing what it is that he could have felt, and what he should have valued.  There’s nothing sadder than an aging psychopath.

—-

12:02 pm

Bump to the top, from 9/9/14:

Open Letter to Michael S.Rogers:
(The NSA guy, not the Michigan Rep)
I know you guys are eagerly awaiting the inevitable revealing that you manipulate Americans  with electronic weapons.  (I also know other groups do it too, but I figure you guys will suffer the brunt of the lynchings.)   I am a Targeted Individual,  I am also a praying Christian and  accustomed to many unusual physical effects, so I don’t get too worked up. I wrote down what happened to me, and  published a book, in 2011. (The naivete of my story  makes it pretty credible.)  I also recorded my day-to-day life in explicit detail, for two years during  the torture.  (I have not seen these journals since I wrote them.  I swore to them, had them notarized, documenting an infallible chain of control.)   When Snowden took off,  I began a blog and have documented case studies, patent documents and court cases.  I don’t want to sue anybody,  because I love America and I’d  rather serve my fellow man.
This is a job application.  You need a face for PR.  My unique skill-set  could serve you well.  I know some things that could help TI’s as they become conscious.   (I could also somewhat pacify  their  vengeance.  I figure that’s what  Snowden is doing, right?)  We’d start slow; I could  cry crocodile tears on TV…and you could confess, ever so pitifully, that things got out of hand.  (My compensation is negotiable, but I’d sure  like to see my file.  I’m not  very attractive so the goons won’t miss its porn value. Maybe you could help me find it?)
When my parents called the state police on me, I was running for Congress.  They told the cops I was “rebellious to government,”  isn’t that funny?  (I think it’s pretty rebellious for two people to believe they should control an entire Congressional district!  Also, isn’t election tampering a federal crime?)  It seems to me that I’ve demonstrated unusual commitment to our Constitutional  political process.  If I can be of service to my country, my number is 906-291-1376.
I pray for you.  (And for General Keith)  (And for the other Mike Rogers.  Hope he likes his new job.  Still in the “radio business.”)

PS-  Don’t let the zombies get you.

  –
Sincerely,
Linda Goldthorpe
American Citizen
2693 CR 377
McMillan, Michigan  49853
“Madness and Politics…but I repeat myself”  by Thatrandom Othercandidate  (On Amazon)
thatrandomcandidate.com

 

—–

8:17 am

Worker jumps off building and rescuers hold him in air

He says boss treats him badly and job assignment and wages are not satisfactory.

Watch  at http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=90d_1415521711#P24qIXl9bBAxxrmm.99

Do you think he’s glad to be alive?  Or is he terribly angry with those who rescued him?  I’m holding my dad’s ankles and I pray my fingers won’t slip.  I’m holding him up before the Almighty and begging for his redemption. His nose is singed and he’s dangled at the edge of Hell.   I’m reminding God of the visions and dreams I’ve seen, of my dad, and of salvation for my whole family.  Now though, I see my family being herded over a cliff. Their minds are not their own, and they like it that way.  “Lord, thank you that you are taking over Earth but I’m running into a problem as I try to do your will.  People do not believe you.  Please show us your glory, so they don’t have that excuse?  Please open their eyes and administer the divine anesthetic as they become conscious.  Give them Truth, please, in every area of their individual lives.  Let them see through your eyes, and bring them back to life once they have.  Give us a very great revolution in the Goldthorpe family, and in our communities, and in our “church” and in our country.  Start with my dad, he’s barely hanging on.  Give him the gift of repentance.  (It would be nice if you did this in time for me to go to Brussels but your ways are always best.  Please CALM ME DOWN!)  Amen.”

—-

2:56 am

If you watch one thing today, pick this.

Naomi Wolf on How Fake Democracies Are Rolling Out a Global Blueprint for Control

—-

11/8/14

11:02 am

It’s really hard to sit still lately.  I’m naturally pretty hyper and I’ve been on my butt for years.  I really want to do something different and the opportunities are endless.  Would you guys just give me a thumbs-up so I can move on with my life?  Or do I just expect to exist without family?  If so, it would be a kindness to inform me.  906-291-1376

—–

10:40 am

I think love feels rational.  I was in love once and I didn’t know it (programming, shame, bullshit).  I liked it there because I always felt rational, and I expected rational and I got it.  I liked being myself every second, because I could be rational.  I could say, “I’m doing this for this particular reason…” and my words were accepted as rational.  Even if my words were not rational to my lover.  We should all live like that.  I never said a word to George that he understood, not since “hello.”  He was rational just the same, and he permitted that I might be rational too.  (My dad destroyed this slender connection between two minds that never, ever wanted a single harmful thing to befall the other.)  (I guess that was love, too.)  I believe I was blessed to experience for a short time, a touch of Heaven.  (My uncle Herb always said, when extolling the-joy-that-was-his-marriage, “God meant for marriage to be a little bit of Heaven.  He did not mean for it to demonstrate Hell.”)  I’ve never seen a marriage I would wish to be a participant of.  I feel sorry for every single married person I know.  We set these relationships up with our SOULS…which are fed PROGRAMMING…and we did not listen to God about choosing a mate.  This was a mistake and God is correcting it for many of us.  He impressed a word on my mind once, that I did not know.  (He does that ALL the time…)  The word was “misorganization.”  Nobody says that very much.  They say, “disorganization” because things are not organized as THEY WISH.  God said, “misorganization,” which means that organization exists, but it is seriously fucked up.  (God didn’t say “fuck.”)  (“All things are lawful for me but all things are not expedient”…and sometimes you say whatever comes out.)   In the world to come, George and I will no longer damage one another INADVERTENTLY.  In a Godly world, we would be weaned from one another and installed where we belong.  Perhaps we’ll perform that guidance for others, one day.  But, I liked being in love.  To speak your heart every minute and have another actually listen? “God, take me there. Amen.”
—-
I’d like to be love for my dad.  I’d like to provide the environment I enjoyed.  I’d be receptive and confrontational.  I’d be considerate and restrained.  I’d let my dad be himself.  I can’t think of anything better I could offer.

—–

9:02 am

“They are bringing water to the desert people caught in the matrix. That’s the job now. Do it discretely and persistent and silently, and the collective consciousness will shift your way. You can’t force it, right, but you can affect it.”

“You are not alone. You are loving and loved. Celestial forces surround you. You are protected. You are soon to meet your fellow peers. You are a movement that hasn’t gathered yet. And that is actually good tactics, since the Matrix can dissolve a gathering, but has no idea how to dissolve a high-frequency neural heart based network, zapping through the un-manifested realms of higher altitudes.”

“Your day will come, where you will radiate through the darkness of the Matrix, blinding the perverted and profoundly sick power ghouls.”

“There is hope for our downtrodden souls yet. There is hope for this beautiful place we call earth. You being here proves that fact.”

 

Read more at:   http://sorendreier.com/the-heart-people/

——-

8:40 am

“But you know, so few of us are comfortable with the way we are. We’re angry with men, disappointed in them, and chronically dissatisfied. I do believe we can begin a process within ourselves of return, and I think it’s time. The balance is shifting. It’s becoming safe to love them. Patriarchy has run its course and the collapse of it ain’t pretty! Remember, the guy across the room did not create this system – he’s a prisoner of this matrix just like you are.”

“And then the most amazing thing happened… I actually felt/saw energy pulse from my heart center and enter a man in his heart center. The polarities recognized each other! Soft on the outside strong on the inside feminine energy mingled with strong on the outside soft on the inside masculine energy. I didn’t say anything in that moment, but I thought… that’s what love is – it’s a force of energy! On the inside I felt a delicious softness and receptivity that I knew was feminine – it felt like coming home.”

 

Men Are Friggin Gorgeous!!

More at:   http://talk2momz.com/2014/11/07/men-are-friggin-gorgeous/

8:09 am

I feel with those girls who were raped by the ABWE and (decades later…) cannot find a Christian man willing to “stand in the gap.”  Nobody cares about us.  Nobody cares that their dollars pay for fornication on a heinous order, and with living, paining victims.  No man is MAN ENOUGH to risk his own reputation in the gulp-“church.”  “When I return, will there be faith on Earth?”  I described the rapes in detail.  I described the raping of a chaste mind. (Details of the correlating physical effects available on request.)   You “men” will be shame-faced before long.  Or, you could help.  (It’s even sadder if you believe all those evil things you think originate in you!)

——–

4:22 am

MUSIC BREAK

Morning Prayer

I Give Myself Away by William McDowell

—–

4:12 am

It’s like pushing a cement block up a hill!  Sweethearts, beloved people, you’re deceived and if you don’t choose to open your eyes…you’ll soon forget that vision was an option. .  BE A TRUTH-SEEKER.  Start with me if you like,  I claim many things.  (Truth-seeker is synonymous with Christian…)  Do not go to hell out of stubbornness!  Don’t go at all; it can be avoided.  I’m glad I finally learned that my dad is a psychopath; a lot of memories kinda rolled into their sockets.  Truth is GOOD.  Truth makes other things line up correctly.  Truth eliminates cognitive dissonance, and psychosis.  Robert-worship was not healthy, but it was my religion-of-origin.  High school friends wouldn’t visit until they’d inquired whether “GOD” was home.  We were a temple of vestal virgins and spirit wives.  We were a cult.  My father is a Jim Jones.  He was born for better things.
George says I should clean my computer.  That’s an astute observation for somebody who has 8 inches of ancient  receipts topping every surface in his palatial bedroom.  My computer is pretty cruddy, I take it when I go out, and I take it when I go in.  (I’m glad Kevin bought me a very small computer.)  We will not require computers, I know this better than most.  We are already on-line with our tormentors, and the enemy of our souls.  It’s time to pull the plug.  If you can’t communicate without hardware you will cease communicating.  And it will have been your choice.

—–

Megan and Tim quit working for Twitter.  I’d like to know why.  (Dad says Megan is studying French cooking. She doesn’t need to tell me why she’s doing that.)  I have SO MANY QUESTIONS and God has seen fit to provide people WHO ARE SUPPOSED TO BE IN MY LIFE.  “Please, God, may I speak to a smart hacker?  May I understand the things I experience?  May I work on a team?  For you?  For change?  (lol)”

3:35 am

Occasionally my dad would pay me a compliment;  I lived for his rare kindness.  I didn’t ever go see my dad unless I was showered and lipsticked.  (He was the only man I painted my face for.)  I washed his feet in scented water.  (I wanted him to notice me really bad.)  I wasn’t good enough for my dad so I learned I wasn’t good enough for anything.  I learned that no matter how hard I tried, it would never be good enough, so I stopped trying.  I have never tried to win a single thing in my life.  My one determination was that my children love Jesus, and I DID TRY to be the best Godly mother I could be.  I tried to obey God every single second, so my children would be Christian men.  Other than that, I never tried…
…until now, “Men and beasts attend my words”:  I am absolutely RIGHT about the condition of human governance and I am also absolutely RIGHT about God’s intention to replace the “kingdoms of the world” which SHALL SHORTLY “become the kingdoms of my God, and of his Christ.”  (“Christ”= “anointed”.  “Touch not the anointed of the Lord.”)  (My dad is so dumb, he taught me, “Touch not the HIRELINGS of the Lord.”)   I get impatient.  I have been defending my book for three years and my father will still not grant me audience concerning my issues of contention.  I don’t blame him, and I’ve been REALLY patient, for me.  I recognize that he will be very embarrassed when everybody knows he tried to kill his daughter who washed his feet.  “Dad.  Tough shit.  Get over yourself.  You made me do it and I’m grateful…”

—-

11/7/14

10:54 am

Text to my father:  “I want to go to Brussels, old man.  This is another opportunity for you to do the right thing.”

—-

10:27 am

“Weather futures derivatives.”  Let those evil words sink in.  They are betting on the weather.  Extreme weather has always influenced the markets, and influenced wars as well.  But, now that humanity holds the keys to weather manipulation, they’re even betting on the weather itself.  This is a protection racket.  Derivatives are evil all by themselves, but we’ve come so much farther.  Some depraved individuals think so little of our fine planet that they would risk the survival of their own race, to make a few more fiat-imaginary greenbacks.  So little time left for us to choose.  There’s a “famine in the land” and it’s not by accident.
Also, it is not by accident that EVERY SINGLE ORGANIZATION from the Roman Catholic monstrosity to the Boy Scouts…sexually abuses children.  It is by design that society depraves the most innocent among us.  We won’t see the Kingdom unless we become like little children.  Children are very gullible.  “Innocence and magic.”  “We can’t summon those things ourselves, in our state of nauseaousnesscausing.  Let’s drink some blood!”  This is not an ignore-it-and-it-will-go-away place in history.  This is the big one.  We must choose a side.  “As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.”
I want to go to Brussels, old man who owes me 3.5 million dollars.

—-

11/6/14

1:56 pm

Text to my dad:     “Thank you very much for the $5.80.  If you don’t think I could get from the airport to the conference maybe you’d like to come along?   Do you speak French?”

—-

1:46 pm

My dad stopped in!  I gave him coffee and applesauce cake and he gave me my quarterly $5.80.  I told him I’d like to go to Brussels to help his grandchildren.  I told him I need 1100 dollars to fly from Marquette.  He asked the date, two times.  Maybe he’ll do the right thing?  Maybe he’d even come along and learn something?

—-

George shot a coyote.  It was on the lawn and George came to get me to see it.  The coyote wasn’t moving too fast and we could see why, it was dangling a trap from a rear leg.  He shot it with a 22 rifle.  I told him Josh would probably like to experiment with tanning the hide.  I’m a little queasy but  I’m glad he shot it.  I know I’m going to be a vegetarian one of these days.  I have never loved a pig or a cow but I know for a fact I couldn’t eat Connie or Gaddafi.  It’s George’s day off and he’s lurking.  I need to think.  Maybe I’ll go see the prophet  today.  I already rubbed pork ribs with a blend of spices and made barbecue sauce.

—–

10:25 am

October 2014 Breaking News ChemTrails HAARP Military alter weather mind control health risks

—-

4:40 am

Embarrassing daughters.  Joe Kennedy had one.  Wayne Gretzky has one.  Bob Dylan even has one, he didn’t go to her lesbian wedding.  They said the music was good.  It takes an awful lot of ego to evaluate another human being…based on her life’s impact on your bragging rights.  Gag, what a mess!  My dad never listened to me play piano but was adamant that I memorize some impressive piece to play when he wanted to impress somebody.  All the time, stuff like that.  I can tell you his opinion of each and every of my own body parts, expressions and characteristics.  I could report on his same items, but without value judgment.  Paying attention to details, the domain of the genius and the madman.

“Even a poor man with few possessions feels he has something if he has a wife or a daughter whose destiny is his to control.”    Hindu  guy.   “Love Jihad”    http://www.nytimes.com/2014/11/02/opinion/sunday/its-not-jihad-its-just-love.html?&_r=0

5:12 am

SONS CAN BE EMBARRASSING TOO

‘It is beyond true that Maria Shriver disapproves of the relationship that Patrick is starting with Miley. She is so controlling when it comes to the image of the family and this is eating her up inside.’ 

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2823056/Maria-Shriver-displays-ample-cleavage-solo-stroll-amid-rumours-disapproves-son-Patrick-s-romance-Miley-Cyrus.html#ixzz3IHXJeBU2
Follow us: @MailOnline on Twitter | DailyMail on Facebook

—–

4:25 am

“But for the grace of God, there go I”

JFK’s nephew Timothy Shriver reveals how the Kennedys kept Rosemary’s lobotomy secret – and how she could say just a handful of words afterwards

  • Timothy Shriver, 55, has written a new book about his work with disabled athletes and has dedicated a chapter to stories about his aunt Rosemary
  • Rosemary was born with mental disabilities, which the family tried to hide from friends and from Rosemary herself
  • When she was 23, her father Joseph secretly took her for a lobotomy – but it left her largely unable to speak or move
  • He was too ashamed to see her and her family did not ask where she was

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2822638/JFK-s-nephew-Timothy-Shriver-opens-Kennedys-kept-Rosemary-s-lobotomy-secret-say-just-handful-words-including-no-diet-food.html#ixzz3IHKvcvZb
Follow us: @MailOnline on Twitter | DailyMail on Facebook

 

—–

4:07 am

Fort Lauderdale Mayor Jack Seiler is speaking out against Abbott (90 year-old man distributing food), saying homeless people should have to interact with the government to get food   
 
 
My mom texted yesterday, to thank me for the brownies.  It was nice to hear from her.  David came to my house in the summer of 2012 and said, “If all those things happened to you, I’m sorry.”  I cried.  That’s the only time a man has said that.  But, I didn’t know how he had any idea what “those things” might be.  He lied when he said he was sorry, because he hasn’t been back since.
As though choosing not to live in a box makes it OK for others to control your life!  Homeless people HAVE a home.  Earth is our home.  We have rights and responsibilities over our HOME.  It is PSYCHOPATHIC to determine how others must live!  It is psychopathic to determine how others must live.  We have a very bad problem here folks, even in light of the ubiquitous mind control…WE SUBMIT!  We actually allow others of our species to determine our behavior and priorities, although we all KNOW  (even atheists know; I read it in an article…) that we will answer for our own lives and our consciences will be examined.  (Conscience:  That shriveled black thing that occasionally blocks the pixels of porn you’re lapping up.  The Sears Wish-book is porn too.  Titillates your lust  and leaves you wanting more.)  I learned so much when I knew somebody was reading my mind.  (I’m still learning.)  First and foremost to recall is:  They DON’T just listen.  They evaluate your thoughts and make fun of you.  You get to see yourself really clearly.  That  was a blessing to me because I had always believed wrong narratives about myself.  Actually, I’m quite extraordinary and remote neural monitoring mirrored that back to me.  It was nice to learn that all those years of pain and prayer had not gone to waste, that God had actually changed me, as I’d requested through years of pain and prayer.

—–

11/5/14

4:43 pm

David, I was raped.  My father doesn’t care and my ex-husband doesn’t care and my sons care more than they can deal with.  Will you help us?

—-

4:28 pm

We want no Gestapo or secret police. The FBI is tending in that direction. They are dabbling in sex-life scandals and plain blackmail. J. Edgar Hoover would give his right eye to take over, and all congressmen and senators are afraid of him.—President Harry S. Truman

4:01 pm

MUSIC BREAK

This one’s for David:

Dear David, last time I saw you you asked, “Why so negative?”  I didn’t have time to answer because Mom was kicking me off her property.  (I’m used to it.)  I sound negative to people who do not recognize truth.  I do not choose to be “negative” because I wish to condemn.  On the contrary, I see greatness ahead…only not for liars.  Just because someone is “negative” does not mean that he is wrong.  I love you very much.  I love your children, even if you haven’t taught them to love others.  (Lauren loves.)  Your time as golden-child-who-craps-on-whomever-Dad-says is coming to an end.  I’d prefer that you end on your feet.  I would like our psychopathic father to go to Heaven.  He is negative.  I wish him to be otherwise, for his own sake and yours.   (I’m having a good time whatever he chooses to do.)

 

—-

2:45 pm

What if our bodies looked as they felt?  What if everything that goes on inside were expressed in protoplasm?  I wouldn’t be a Dorian Grey.  (They use the “e” and the “a” interchangeably.  Dorian Gray?)  He had a private place, a portrait that portrayed the evil that his physical body consumed.  If I had a picture that demonstrated my inner struggles and submissions, it would look very different than Dorian Gray’s, and very different than I look.  I’m very strong.  I’m taller than my body, and far more capable than fatigue can insinuate.  Sometime soon  I’ll look just as I feel.  My body will become a container that honestly advertises its contents.  (I’ve got to think about this some more.)  I get younger every year, in my interactions with others and in every expectation of myself.  I used to be frightened of everything!  Disease!  Aging! Derangement!  I got over being afraid and soon my body will catch up with my will and my mind.  I can’t wait.  I was always too afraid to dance.  Soon, I’ll be disappointed if I’m not dancing every minute.

—-

2:27 pm

I asked Josh if I could borrow 1100 dollars to go to Belgium.  I told him I’d pay him back by April 1.  (He always has money.  Even before he got a job.  That man is not a bit stupid.  He didn’t get it from me.)  He asked if I planned to pay him back from money I planned to get from my father.  I said “no.”  This is important enough to quit smoking and I said I’d give him all my cigarette money.  I think he’s thinking about it.  He did lend me a dollar for a beer.  He knows what I went through, even if his father does not.  If he says no, I guess I won’t go.

—-

2:15 pm

NDAA, Chelsea Manning, militarization of police, corruption in government, wars all the time…

“Authorities” couldn’t get in touch with the “leaders” so they publicized a list of rules for the protest.  I laughed my ass off.  (Nearly.  I’ll never do silicone no matter what.)

Million Mask March rallies sweeping the globe

The REAL army is holed up somewhere writing code, but these guys are the face just now.  God said I’m an “honorary hacker.”  (He was being kind.  He always does that.)

——-

6:50 am

I’m making Quiche Lorraine.  Josh prefers it for lunch but he has to go to work today.  I’m also making an applesauce cake with lemon glaze.  My grandma used to keep hers in the freezer and it tasted divine, but the glaze got sticky.  I like the sugary crunch when I leave it in the open air.  George wanted chili last night but I couldn’t bring myself to make it.  We compromised with Mexican bean soup ladled over crispied strips of corn tortillas, with sour cream and sharp cheddar.  I am so wasted here.

6:12 am

“Each of us draws comfort from the decisions we make, sure in the knowledge that we are individuals, masters of our own destiny. We mock those that aren’t as under the thumb, as easily lead, or weak. Underlying this attitude is the principle that no person or system has the right to influence or determine the free will of another. This may be true, but what if this truth was naive; that even the strong-minded could not trust the direction their thoughts were taking them?”

“Laws operate as a strong arm of social conditioning, in so much as they slowly undermine the ability of the individual to assess situations and make judgements based on past experiences. Laws make us passive; we look out to authority for answers rather than to ourselves within. The danger is we become easily manipulated and no longer able to question authority; not only because we have been conditioned to, but because we are being slowly stripped of the tools and acuity with which to do so.”

 

“If you spend a lot of time thinking about how unnecessary laws are, and then don’t comply with these laws, eventually, logically, you will end up in jail,” says Levine. “Or if you obey laws that you think are bullshit, you will lose self-respect, integrity, wholeness, and feel like a pathetic hypocrite and potentially have a nervous breakdown and end up in a mental hospital. And jail and mental hospitals have lots of television.”

“Einstein once said that you can’t solve problems with the same level of consciousness that created them. The conscious mind cannot solve problems that its separation from the subconscious created. If we value peace and harmony and only focus on fear, is it not surprising when we access the same old negative programs? Einstein was equally specific when he described what he believed was the only truly valuable thing: intuition.”

Read more at:   http://www.wakingtimes.com/2014/10/29/subconscious-manipulators-take-life-autopilot/

5:31 am

“Isaac” means laughter, and Isaac was also Abraham’s promised child.  (I lost my first baby so that was kind of important.)  Isaac was also my great-grandfather’s name and he was, to my knowledge, the only Spirit-filled Christian in my lineage.  His son told me about visions Isaac saw, even before he met Jesus.  (My uncle Herb, Isaac’s son was one of my two favorite  family members of all time.  I was blessed with two uncles who loved me for absolutely no reason. Tears-in-your-eyes kind of love.)   I haven’t laughed enough, since my Isaac left; my face even feels different.  Josh is the funnier of the two, but we share few interests so our exchanges are random, when we learn something we know the other will appreciate.  Isaac and I could talk for hours because we share a superseding interest:  we’d both like to see the world become a happier place for ourselves and everybody else.  Isaac goes round and round seeking how to accomplish this, and I think I already know.  Other than that, the topics present logical progression and we laugh all the time.  With Isaac I can talk about God.  He loves Jesus very much and discusses things with him…but he sees no value in the blood sacrifice.  I think that’s where we left off last time.

Isaac saved my life and taught me to live.  After I spontaneously stopped vomiting every day, being raped and immobilized periodically, I was EXTREMELY traumatized.  I had trusted Jesus every day of the torture but then I doubted God; I questioned Jesus’ love.  Eckhart Tolle gave me my faith back.  I didn’t know which way to turn and I read everything Isaac gave me.  The materials helped me a lot.  Tolle said, “Live in the moment.  You do not have the past or future.”   I learned to sit even more still than I had done during the prior years.  (“Take me lower and slower, please God.”)   Tolle was so very close to being right that I almost fell for it.  Anyway, I wrote down all the advice Isaac gave me in a series of composition books, about six or seven.  I put them in a file and haven’t opened them again but once, and only for a minute.  A “crisis of faith”…the “dark night of the soul.”   I couldn’t watch movies, and Isaac explained the mind-control techniques used to provoke emotions.  I had to learn to trust myself again, as my interpretations had been so seriously altered.  I had to take every perception to God for validation.  (Without which habit, soon, nobody will be able to trust himself.)  We must learn to proceed by revelation, not information.  Information is contradictory, and ALL INFORMATION is intentionally presented to alter our thinking.  That’s the tree of knowledge.  The revelation-alternative is that tiny voice, it says,  “this is the way, walk ye in it.”  That voice is the only safe path through this end-time of human-consciousness-as-we’ve-known-it.  To trust our “own” interpretation of events is to fade out with the rest of the matrix.  Isaac is a natural healer.  (I didn’t believe such people existed when my sister told me about them, when she was in med school. I told her they must be evil.  I was still a Baptist.)  (I don’t suppose many natural healers take kick-backs from pharmaceutical companies.)
People are going to need a lot of Isaacs, as they wake up.  I had been researching the police state for twenty years, yet they almost took me out.  (MK Ultra was a personal bete noire. Considering “mind control” was the hardest thing for me to stomach.)  But, here I stand with a pocket full of stardust for those who might cast their attention heavenward.  I know what people will need to know and God wastes nothing.  It’s hard to believe I’ll see lots of people, from my isolated “Groundhog’s Day” existence, but I know it’s true.  God did an amazing thing having me record all that stuff.  I thought I’d write one journal and  be totally vindicated.  “The longer you wait for the fulfillment of God’s word, the greater the reward.”  (Neville Johnson)  “The reason we have to be patient is so that God can use our obedience to accomplish his entire plan.”  (Glenn Jackson)   “Take me lower and slower, Lord.”  (Heidi Baker)  “Follow the peace.”  (Henry Gruver)
So I’m being patient, but my teeth are gritted.  I’d like to laugh with people.  I want to talk about God and what he’s doing all over the world.  I’m tired of reading what Satan’s trying to do.  All my life I’ve sat at the back of the classroom hoping somebody would call on me in spite of my recalcitrance.  Occasionally I’d wave my arm.  (My dad said that wasn’t ladylike.)  Pretty soon I’ll have friends and they’ll make me laugh.  I’d even start it off.  It’s time to shake off the shroud of childhood and dance over a few graves.  We’re as free as we choose to be.
I miss my dad.  He’s really funny in a snide kinda way.

——-

11/4/14

10:53 am

Two thousand dollars.  With two thousand dollars I could make contact with important people from all over the world.  People who are trying to salvage human consciousness.  Anybody reading these words knows that if I had two thousand dollars and he or she needed it, I would give it to him or her.  I’m amazed at this poverty of purpose.

—-

10:38 am

I want people to like me; God forgive me but I do.  I mean nobody harm, but I have to speak the truth, lest I burn! You see I know that the “great cloud of witnesses” is sitting there watching everything we do.  My defense is the ONLY offense.  (And does it ever offend…)  Tell the truth or they’ll tell it for you.  I had a secret and they played it for all they could.  I only had one secret but it took all the truthi-ness I could muster and I’m not stopping until they stand down.  My evidence could accelerate their self-destruction and I’m getting antsy to see what God intends to do with it.  I don’t think I’ll be disappointed if I can’t take it to Belgium; that only means God has better plans.  He likes a big finish.  I get it from him.  Here’s how my story is going to end:  I will be supremely happy and fulfilled, others will appear from out of nowhere and lend a hand, everybody I love will love me back or rue their missed opportunities.  Jesus will be “high and lifted up” and He will look kindly on me.  And also on those who choose love over psychopathy.  All I have to do is wait.  That’s not my best thing.  The eagle keeps flying back and forth over the lawn.  I’m sitting outside again, I’ve been comfortable in the house for about a week.  I don’t have to be outside if I don’t want to.
10:33 am
OK, nobody’s challenged me on my honesty or my memory.  Not a word spoken, about my doctrine or understanding of scripture.  I know Baptist tenets, and their manifestations, better than the “hirelings.”  I’ve been begging for a rational conversation about unspeakably frightening developments.  Any grown-ups out there?  I hold a major key and I lack the resources to use it on thy behalf and on behalf of thine.  This is an astonishing level of foolishness I’m hearing.

——

10:41 am

Scripture references available on request.  906-291-1376

—-

7:46 am

MUSIC BREAK

Loony Linda’s Lament

—-

7:40 am

Hey Psychopaths, the shrinks all say they can’t help you.  Frankly, you gross them out.  The neuro-scientists say you’re born that way, it’s a defect of your brain.  They even have pictures.  You were born without the empathy chip so we should lock you up and throw away the key.  You’re holding humanity back and we’ll be rid of thee one way or another.  The love army is moving along without you.  We take no prisoners, nor do we allow the enemy to pluck his own from our ranks.  You MUST love or you go to Hell.  You wouldn’t like it there, nobody does what you want.  There’s a way to get love, it’s magic.  You have to reach out and take it.  In front of God and Satan and everybody!  You share your heart with somebody and you share it with God.  Then he will rip it from your chest and pitch it far away.  Then he will give you a new heart.  You were warned.
—–
Every time I think I’ve preached the best “invitation” sermon of my short career, something better comes out.  I think God’s making me a genius, like “Flowers For Algernon.”  It’s pretty fun to write down things I don’t even know.  I learn something new every day and I can’t wait to spend time with others who are also experiencing this.  I need a church.

——-

5:21 am

You know where Cypher messed up?  He quit looking at the code.  He began to believe the matrix.  “I just see a blond, a brunette, a redhead.”

—-

I need to know some things, I’ve got a whole list.  General Overview:  What (of that which I experience)  is algorithm, and what is human?  Subsets include:  What is spiritual, psychic, and electronic?  I have an on-line  babysitter, or I wouldn’t have a website.  I even set the site up myself!  Two years ago I couldn’t even turn on the TV! (George has PUSHED me into new electronics year after year.  I’ve broken many phones and even threw my computer out of the car window once.)  Isaac set up the book-graphic at the top of the homepage but I’ve done everything else all alone.  (Except for the babysitter.  God says he’s an angel and I should trust him.)   How come sometimes I see three different URL’s for the same article?  How many people does it take to help me ’round the clock, or do I go on autopilot?  So many questions.  Also, the angel should get a raise.
I’ve been blessed to see the matrix at its most obtuse and rude.  The experience makes me sensitive to its more delicate tendrils.  “The ‘Livestock’ are thus kept enclosed by shifting moral responsibility for the destructiveness of the violent system to those who demand real freedom.”  Everybody should watch this three times:

——

4:23 am

Satan lies.  He’ll say, when you make a deal with him, that there’s no going back.  This is not true.  Jesus is the judge of the universe and he can nullify any contract.  His blood defeated Satan.  We must defeat Satan too, through the Blood of Jesus and the word of our testimony.  We testify:  “By our own words we are justified, by our own words we are condemned.”  The only words the judge cares about are these:  “I give my life entirely to your righteous will.  You have my body, soul and spirit and I will trust you completely for everything.”  That’s the only way out of Satan’s clutches but it works absolutely.  It’s great when the judge is also your defense attorney.

——

11/3/14

5:05 pm

5:03 pm

Still no call from Dad and I’m going to bed pretty quick so I texted him again:  “You dug yourself in pretty deep.  Looks like I’m your only way out.  Good thing I love you.”

—-

4:48 pm

I put Josh’s true-value shirt in the dryer; I hand-washed it first in the sink, so he’ll have something to wear to work tomorrow.  George got up before noon, and had time to watch the videos I downloaded about “spinning problem…our model of washer…etc.”  He didn’t have time to fix it and I’d like Josh to have a clean shirt for work.

—-

4:11 pm

No response from my dad so I sent another text:  “‘Utterly complete vindication.’   It will be as hard on you as you choose.”  (I made roasted cauliflower and chicken stew with biscuits from his mother’s recipe.  It would be nice if he came for dinner.)

* Her shortcake recipe.  I fiddled with it.

—-

3:34 pm

Nobody in Europe knows the name “Goldthorpe.”  It seems to me if I took my story abroad  there might be fewer ramifications for  the family.  Or, I could just tell the locals and then my dad would be implicated. (“Implicated”.  That’s a wimpy word for what I know.)  Dad should really give me some money to go to Brussels.

—–

3:26 pm

I should have used a semicolon after “forever.”  Do you think he’d talk to me if I did everything perfectly?

—-

3:10 pm

I sent a text to my dad;  what do you think?  (I’m not warming up the tea kettle or anything…)

“Hell lasts forever, embarrassment, not so long.  It will be easier for you because you have family that loves you.  Come see me old man, or wish forever that you had.  Call first.  (Just joking.  I know it’s impossible for you to behave politely.)”

—-

1:18 pm

I called it “the haunting” but I described the effects of electronic harassment.  My book could help change the world.  I really hope God lets me go to Belgium.  There are hostels there and I could stay for thirty dollars a night!

1:24 pm

But, I don’t have thirty dollars.  God says he’s never late so if he wants me to go I should buy a plane ticket pretty soon.  Otherwise I’ll just stay here in my seat and pray for MORE FIRE.

—-

9:33 am

MUSIC BREAK

Don’t y’all see that my dad’s attempts to murder me were a cry for help?  He doesn’t think he’s loved enough! That’s the point of all his dishonest/psychopathic/criminal behavior.  Let’s do an intervention.  (Even though he didn’t afford me that opportunity…)

———–

9:26 am

“The man who can face vilification and disgrace, who can stand up against the popular current, even against his friends and his country when he knows he is right, who can defy those in authority over him, who can take punishment and prison and remain steadfast—that is a man of courage.”   –Alexander Berkman
9:03 am
—–
There is a difference between having a backbone and being stubborn.  I grew a spine when my family disowned me.  When you know you’re right, it still takes decided effort to maintain your position.  But, with time the posture becomes intrinsic.  Stubborn is:  I don’t care if I’m right, come hell or high water, I won’t back down.  My father is the stubbornest person I ever met.  He can hold a grudge for years!  (And I’ve learned that he is most frequently fraudulent.)  When I was a child he’d go for weeks without speaking to anybody in the house.  He’d get up and walk around the counter for a salt shaker rather than ask us to pass it. (Of course if a customer called during supper he’d be perky-Pete.)   This  was “making a point.”  (I dare say his point would have been easier demonstrated if he’d chosen to tell us what he was mad about.)   Once he bought a bottle of blackberry brandy.  Every night he’d pour himself a glass before he dramatically retired to his bedroom.  (I never got the point of that episode.)  In retrospect, I shouldn’t be surprised that I’ve been recording my every move for nearly six years and he still refuses to come clean.  I used to believe him to be a smart man.  I used to believe him, period.  But these years have been very educational for me.  And they’ve strengthened my will and resolve.  This time ’round he will not escape the consequences of his aberrant behavior.  If not me, somebody else will spill the beans. Keith Alexander be praised, lying has been abolished.  Now that I sustain a seriously substantial spine,  I pray for penultimate patience.  (Routine reward for the righteously RIGHT.)
“Lord may I please have more patience…but don’t make me need it.”

—–

7:07 am

I was recently told of an African tribe that does the most beautiful thing.

“But sometimes in the pursuit of those things people make mistakes. The community sees misdeeds as a cry for help.”

Read More: http://www.trueactivist.com/gab_gallery/i-was-recently-told-of-an-african-tribe-that-does-the-most-beautiful-thing/

—-

11/2/14

3:48 pm

“Please, Lord, let  me out!”

—-

3:38 pm

After decades of being afraid of my dad, it’s unusual to fear FOR him.  We both know what he did.  We  both know the “old, old story.”  If he doesn’t get in line pretty soon I don’t know what might happen. If George were to die, it would be all his fault.  Entirely, and he knows that.  He knows many things he’s refused to address.  “God, please have mercy on my father.  He breathes the breath of YOU!  He KNOWS what you said to us…he took me to Sunday School every week!  Please, please have mercy on him and my mom.  Don’t let them go to Hell over me!  They couldn’t help but hate me, both of their lives would have been much different if I hadn’t shown up!  Please, have mercy.  Amen.”

——-

3:20 pm

MUSIC BREAK

“Have Thine Own Way Lord”

——-

2:55 pm

I was so mad at my dad I went to his house and brought him some cream cheese brownies I baked at about 5 this morning.  That always makes me feel better.

3:17 pm

He was blowing leaves out of his driveway.  He taught me we weren’t supposed to work on Sunday.

—-

2:27 pm

“Dear Lord, I haven’t been angry in a long time but right now I’m so angry at my dad!  I’ve forgiven him for abusing me and trying to murder me and lying about me and taking my home.  I’m having a hard time forgiving him for these current years of stonewalling and not MAKING IT RIGHT!  You are my defender, you are also the judge.  Please, make your verdict clear and precise so it is unmistakable.  Show us your glory!  Show us truth and justice.  Show us your face?  Don’t give him what he deserves, show mercy.  But let him see you…and himself.”

—-

2:04 pm

Yesterday I suggested to George that Josh be required to put wood in the stove one time a day.  He said, “Yeah. We gotta keep on him about that.”  (I didn’t laugh out loud.)  This morning I overheard him talk to Josh about stacking wood.  Two truckloads arrived today, George has been stacking it all morning while Josh sits at the computer.  George said he was going to try to fix the washing machine, far more urgent.  I walked into the kitchen and oveheard them talking about Josh getting ten days off to go to his grandmother’s for Thanksgiving.   “I rebuke self-pity in the name of Jesus.  You said   I will be ‘utterly completely vindicated'”
I overheard George telling Josh to pick him up after work tomorrow night so he can leave his car in town to be serviced the following morning.   He said, “I’ll cut my (after work) work-out short…”   I suggested that he could just take my car to work and Josh and I could get his car to town at a convenient time… and JOSH WOULDN’T BE OUT ‘TIL MIDNIGHT WHEN HE HAS TO WORK THE NEXT MORNING.  That doesn’t mean much to a man who habitually sleeps until noon, but he agreed.
—–
Josh accused me of treating him and his father like children…so I showed him what I wrote last week about how much I like living with him.  (I do not consider him a child.)  I can’t help treating George like a child.  He requires shorter words than Josh and he doesn’t understand the basics anyway.  I suggested, since Josh thinks he can’t get the FULL TEN DAYS off, that maybe he could go with his dad for Thanksgiving at his grandma’s house (he wants to see her because “she’s getting old”) and then Isaac could bring him home and return to Minnesota to catch his flight and return his father’s car.  They could spend a night in Marquette so Isaac could see Caleb; George wouldn’t miss his car because he only goes where his mother goes anyway, Isaac could take a drive since he’s not had a drive in a while, his dad wouldn’t have to cut short his vacation, I would not be alone so long and it wouldn’t cost too much.  He told me to talk to Isaac about it.  I’d rather go to Belgium and give the evidence WE EARNED THROUGH TORTURE to people who could use it for good. The men  could do whatever they wanted then.  I’d like to see Isaac too though.
“Lord, please forgive my parents for what they did to this family.”

—–

11:57 am

Any behavior which attempts to control you is abuse, simply because adults do not control other adults.

More Here:   http://www.luke173ministries.org/466773

——

11:45 am

Adult Child Abuse

THE ONLY FORM OF ABUSE STILL….

 

     …TOLERATED BY SOCIETY

 

          …ACCEPTED BY SOCIETY

 

               …CONDONED BY SOCIETY

 

THE ONLY FORM OF ABUSE IN WHICH THE VICTIM IS….

     …OPENLY DISCOURAGED FROM STANDING UP FOR HERSELF, TALKING ABOUT IT, OR REVEALING THE ABUSE TO OTHERS 

 

         …EXPECTED TO CONTINUE SUFFERING INDEFINITELY

 

               …CRITICIZED FOR TRYING TO PROTECT HERSELF

 

                    …JUDGED FOR ESCAPING FROM HER ABUSER

 

THE ONLY FORM OF ABUSE IN WHICH IT IS CONSIDERED OKAY FOR A COMPETENT ADULT TO….

 

      …BE CONTROLLED BY SOMEONE ELSE

 

          …HAVE NO INDEPENDENCE  OR RIGHT TO RUN HER OWN LIFE OR MAKE HER OWN DECISIONS

 

               …BE HELD HOSTAGE TO THE WHIMS OR DESIRES OF ANOTHER

                    …HAVE NO FREEDOM OF CHOICE

CHILD ABUSE THAT DID NOT END WHEN ADULTHOOD BEGAN.  THE CONTINUING VICTIMIZATION OF GROWN CHILDREN BY THEIR ABUSIVE OR CONTROLLING PARENTS, SIBLINGS, OR FAMILY MEMBERS .

SILENCE CONDONES ABUSETHE TRUTH SHALL SET YOU FREE !

——

10:58 am

FINAL STAGE OF CHARACTER ASSASSINATION IS THE SMEAR CAMPAIGN

The relationship and its entanglement with character assassination has run it’s full course. (Ed. Note:  UNLESS THE PERPETRATOR KILLS THE VICTIM.)    What started out as a relationship between a good person with character and a bad person with a character DISORDER, has now been twisted around.

It’s like being in a dream and not being able to run or scream. You know those dreams? Where it feels like your legs weigh 500 lbs and you can’t run? That’s what it feels like trying to explain that crazy mess to outsiders.

You’re now hearing things about yourself that you KNOW aren’t true, and not only are they not true, they are things the NARCISSIST DID! You know that you just sound like one of those kids defending themselves saying, “No, I’m not! They are!!!” And the narcissist knows this too!!! That’s why they PRE-EMPT you. They run to others before you even know they’re discarding you. You think you’re still in the relationship, while the narcissist is out making you out to be bat shit crazy -but telling you how much they love you. That way, when you finally work up the nerve to tell others, you’re met with DEAFENING silence. They’re saying “Uh huh. Sure they do. MMm hhh.”  Because the narcissist has already told them  that’s what  YOU are doing.

It’s a SHOCK to learn you’ve been lied about, played, used and all the other emotions, all at the same time you’re trying to decide what to do about this full on smear campaign / slander / defamation the narcissist is waging a war with, in order to discredit you so that by the time you get back to your full senses, you are so far buried in slander, defending yourself is POINTLESS.

More Here: https://afternarcissisticabuse.wordpress.com/2013/11/18/narcissists-are-character-assassins/

—-

10:44 am

No, a home is NOT a stage in a play or melodrama for normal people, but in a narcissistic family, the main seat at the table, the one who “earns” our keep, the top dog in our lives….is the narcissist and WE ALL KNOW IT. We’re all there to fill our part in their play. We will behave however the narcissist has decided our role will be and we will NOT deviate from that, unless we want to incur the narcissist’s rage.

Let’s stop down for a moment and pay a brief word to “the narcissist’s rage”.  Many people who don’t live within the narc home, don’t have a clue that the narcissist has a two faced personality. They see the “kind” “giving” blah blah image the narcissist presents to strangers and can never fathom that the same narcissist would be a terroristic tyrant at home.

Narcissistic rage isn’t always the  typical big, loud mouth event. It’s more cruel than that. Narcissistic rage is more subdued and insidious. They’d much rather punish  people by WITHHOLDING AND REFUSING TO GIVE what they know those people need from them.

More Here: https://afternarcissisticabuse.wordpress.com/2014/10/19/narcissistic-family-dynamics-playing-the-hand-were-dealt/

—-

10:33 am

One of the clearest indicators you’ve got a mentally unstable person on your hands is smear campaigning. Smear campaigners carefully and strategically use lies, exaggerations, suspicions and false accusations to try destroying your credibility. They hide behind a cloak of upstanding heroism and feigned innocence in an attempt to make as many people as possible think their efforts are based not on their vindictiveness, but on upstanding concern.

More Here: http://lightshouse.org/lights-blog/smear-campaigns-part-1#ixzz3HvQE8m9Y

Most smear campaigners are highly narcissistic, and narcissists cannot ever be expected to apologize, come clean or admit any wrongdoing, even if caught red-handed in their lies.

More Here: http://lightshouse.org/lights-blog/smear-campaigns-part-3#ixzz3HvROUF87

One of the great benefits of the electronic age is, we can have an instant and verified copy of every piece of correspondence we send. If you absolutely must speak to the smear campaigner and you have the option of saying whatever you need to say in writing, do it. Having a record of exactly what has been said by you is invaluable protection against distortions and misrepresentation.

More Here: http://lightshouse.org/lights-blog/smear-campaigns-part-4#ixzz3HvRkFzFF

—–

6:19 am

Here are some characteristics a narcissistic mother:

  • The socially engaged mom becomes the controlling mom at home. She’s no longer the woman wearing the perpetual smile that never falters, or at least in everyone else’s eyes. She is demeaning, criticizes, and lets you know in more ways than one that you are not up to her standards.
  • She makes you feel like a failure if you’re not doing what she wants right now.Your mom is really good at manipulation, especially when your emotions are involved. If you aren’t fulfilling her desires to make her feel like her needs are at the upmost importance, be prepared to experience pain in the way of criticism or an attack. And, if you are looking for validation, you may be waiting a long time.
  • She is easily offended, claiming that she does so much for you. If you don’t give her what she wants, she‘s upset and pulls the “you don’t love me because if you did, you would do what I wanted” card or she’ll simply accuse you of taking her for granted and not appreciating her as a mother.  It’s not above her to compare you unfavorably to someone else who is “good” to his or her mother.
  • She is privately opinionated, blasting people, while more forgiving in public. Mom needs to look good in front of everyone, even if she isn’t too fond of them. She is charismatic, smiles and even holds chats with them while saving her criticism and opinions for the house.
  • She finds fault in you. And when you make it right, you barely get a validation. “I’m sorry Mom” is never enough with her and you can never figure out how to please her with an apology.
  • She makes you anxious, not filled with self-confidence. She makes you feel inadequate, even if you do something that deserves praise. We all need validation, especially early on in life. A narcissistic mother can instigate self-doubt in everything that you do.
  • The world revolves around her. Your mom has to be the center of attention at all times.

——-

6:09

Adult Bullies

5:00 am

Here are some signs that your dad had narcissistic tendencies or was an out-right narcissist.

  • Dad was self-centered and pretty vain. He had an inflated sense of self-importance that led him to believe he was superior and entitled to only the best.
  • Dad used people for his own good. He would take advantage of others, to the point of exploiting them when it suited him. Everybody seemed to cater to him, or at least he expected them to.
  • Dad was charismatic. Everyone wanted to be around him and he relished admiration from others. He loved being in the spotlight and the positive reinforcement that came from being the center of attention.
  • No one had an imagination like Dad. Grandiosity is alluring, and so were his fantasies of success, prestige, and brilliance. He would often exaggerate his achievements, and his ambitions and goals bordered on unrealistic.
  • Dad didn’t take criticism well. Nothing stung him like criticism; he often cut those people out of his life, or tried to hurt them.
  • Dad’s rage was truly scary. Some people get mad and yell a lot. Dad could hurt you with his anger. It cut to the bone.
  • Dad could be aloof and unsympathetic. Narcissists often have a hard time experiencing empathy; they often disregard and invalidate how others feel. Of course, he was exquisitely sensitive to what he felt, but others were of no mind.
  • Dad wasn’t around a lot. He got a lot of gratification outside the family. Other fathers hung out with their families a lot more. Plus, he craved excitement and seemed to be more concerned by what others thought of him, rather then how his own kids felt about him.
  • Dad did what he wanted when dealing with you. Narcissists don’t step into someone else’s shoes very often. He did things with you that he enjoyed; maybe you did as well.
  • Dad wanted you to look great to his friends and colleagues. You were most important to him when he could brag about you; sad but true.
  • You couldn’t really get what you needed from him. Even if Dad provided on a material level, you felt deprived on a more subtle level. For example, you wanted his attention and affection, but would only get it sporadically, and only when it worked for him.

——————————

4:49 am

Still no call from my parents…

Stonewalling = the act of refusing communication, stalling, or evading, especially to avoid revealing embarrassing information and escape accountability.

The stonewaller isn’t necessarily a sociopath, but the act of intentional stonewalling contains the cold, callous attitude of the sociopath. Absence of empathy is characteristic of stonewallers, and they may relish a sadistic pleasure in watching their target twist, squirm, and make humiliating efforts and bids to be heard. Stonewallers, whether sociopaths or not, are seriously disturbed communicators. Their indifference to the stonewalled party’s experience, as noted, can be chilling. Stonewalling often reflects character pathology, in which case they won’t change—they will always be stonewallers.

—–

3:55 am

It is easier to fool people than to convince them they’ve been fooled.–Mark Twain

——–

11/1/14

4:45 pm

Dad, I should be your assistant, God said one day I would and I’d like to get it over with.  I’ve given you resumes in the past, they came from my heart.  This one comes from my head.  (“Dear Lord, forgive me for backsliding but sometimes you have to poke the devil with his own pitchfork.”)   (Cabin in the Sky.  Ethel Waters.  “His Eye is On the Sparrow.”)  (Paraphrased.  I didn’t waste bandwidth finding the clip.)   I can help you and I should know what’s going on so MOM DOESN’T HAVE TO LEARN STUFF SHE DOESN’T CARE ABOUT EXCEPT IN ANTICIPATION OF YOUR ALWAYS-MORE-CERTAIN death!  You’re going to leave us one way or another.  Did you see that story about the guy on death-row?  They asked what he wanted for his last supper and he said…”a child.”

—-

4:09 pm

Wouldn’t it be nice if God gave me enough money to buy some clothes while I’m in Belgium?  I have to throw away another  pair of Josh’s sweatpants that I’ve been wearing.  (They were throw-away to begin with; that’s why I got them.)  In Europe, there are large people.  In Hong Kong I had to have a leather coat custom-made, because I’m taller than most Chinese.  What if God gave me enough money to go to the Netherlands to hear James Corbett speak?  He lives in Japan, I think he’s Canadian but he’s going to be in the Netherlands the SAME WEEK OF THE CONFERENCE!  The Netherlands is really close to Belgium and I could take a train for very little money.  I can go for twelve days without eating.  This could be a very profitable trip, and very little expense.  Profitable for the fate of humanity.  However, if the Lord, Jesus, the Christ is living through me I would be just as profitable sitting here praying.  All those years I spent praying have sure riled up a lot of people.  But if I went to Belgium I would also have fun.

I am not yet dancing well, but I know all the steps.  Jesus said we’d dance together and he wasn’t talking about Heaven.  We shall dance here, and I can’t wait.  It DOES NOT MATTER WHAT HAPPENS TO ME.  If I get my heart around it JESUS’ WAY, all is well and the lake is clear.  I cannot be troubled or harmed.  I see my dad as he really is and I pity him and I’m very grateful for him.

In 2006 Isaac and I had the first political campaign website in the UP  (as far as I know). Now the ads follow people around!   http://www.nytimes.com/2014/11/01/us/politics/gop-ads-chase-voters-at-home-and-on-the-go-.html?_r=0  You people who presume to judge others, you  never saw us in your midst.  We saw you and, I at least, kept records.  Isaac’s got a really good memory and so does Josh.  We used to stand around the piano and worship Jesus morning and at night again.  We tried to “prepare him a dwelling place” in our hearts.  It worked.  I’m grateful.  God told me in 2007, and my dad and many other people have seen the prophecy, especially to me from my Lord and Lover, Jesus, and it said:  “George is mine.  Your children are mine.  You are mine.  Withstand.  Withstand.  What is coming is ordained by me for my glory…you will be misunderstood again…so AM I.  (I am.)”  (It said other things too.)    Sweet people who deem to know all:  I don’t even know what to say so I’m going to enjoy this afternoon and flick the slander from my sleeve like a bug.  YOU WERE WRONG ABOUT ME AND MY FAMILY AND MY DAD’S TORTURE AND the Lord, Jesus, the Christ knows your hearts.  Put your money where your mouth is.  Thus sayeth the Lord.  (“Lord, I do not like saying that last line so please, if I am being in any way presumptuous, to use your word, honor and authority in this way, please correct me.  Amen.”)
—-
Do you support missionaries?  Or do you just support your reputation?

——

3:30 pm

I haven’t been on an airplane for around ten years!  Not since my sister flew me to her place in Kansas City to wash dishes at a big fancy-doctors party.  (She was so cute.   She didn’t even know enough to buy Scotch.  I wasn’t there in an advisory capacity…)   I got so excited at the prospect of taking my evidence to those who can use it that I gave myself a pedicure, a manicure and I shaved my legs.  I forgot to put wood on the fire first and now I smell like woodsmoke.  (It takes a while every fall for me to get with the program.)  I really hope the Lord lets me go.

—–

1:17 pm

I learned that I can fly to Belgium for only 1100 dollars…right from Marquette!  That would save me a night in a hotel and lots of gas money.  Also, targeted individuals  get a discount on the conference!   I hope God gives me some money.  (TSA still lets you bring sandwiches, right?)

—-

6:05 am

Psychological & Political Gang Stalking Victim – Najma – with Dr Ed Spencer

“Incarceration in a Mental Hospital, harassment and punishment of a long time Political Activist speaks with Dr Ed Spencer on the phone from a mental facility. Abandoned by her family, and seemingly sane, this interview draws questions about why people are sentenced to a facility like this by the legal system. To hide and punish for undesirable political activity?”

——-

5:13 am

One of the organizers of the CONFERENCE AGAINST COVERT HARASSMENT speaks with a scheduled speaker.   They’d REALLY like to have my evidence…

Melanie Vritschan: We have evidence now that NSA is behind the Transhumanist Agenda

European Coalition Against Covert Harassment

Here:  

——-

10/31/14

2:31 pm

George is encouraging Josh to take TEN DAYS off work to go to Minnesota with him for Thanksgiving.  This is a bad idea because Josh has only been working a few months, and he should not expect such exceptional lenience if he’s going to learn how the world really is.  Also, he is the owner’s grandson and they’ll probably give him the time.  Those who have worked there longer should have first chance, seems to me, and they might resent him.  I reminded George that he gets to be with the boys every holiday.  He stuck out his bottom lip and shrugged his shoulders.  He gave me cigarette money.  I said, “Remember a couple years ago when I gave you back my ring, and all the jewelry you bought me, and your mom gave me and your grandma’s stuff”?  He did.  I said, “I thought you’d do the same.  You have jewelry I gave you and it’s mine.”  I went into my bathroom and brought out my last pair of gold earrings and returned them to him.  He used to trust God until he chose to trust my father instead of me.  I told  him the other day how disappointed I am that he does not care to investigate what happened to us.  I told him I am defending our family.  I know he lacks the faculties to seek out a matter but he doesn’t even care to know.  He and I watched for years, to see the things that are happening in the world, but when I try to show him we were right, he doesn’t care.
—-
Last Christmas he bought a ring for a woman…a woman he never even tried to see.  (Maybe I should find a Facebook lover to buy me things.)   In Heaven, we’ll understand everything.  He doesn’t understand ANYTHING here.  Not even the fact that if a boy is 18 he MUST (finally) learn responsibility.  George lighted the woodstove outside.  I’ll now be required to tend the fire until the first of May. (Or maybe not.  God keeps saying, “Any minute.”)  WHY IS HE SO ADAMANT ABOUT STAYING HERE?  He HATES his job.  He has NO INTERESTS except children’s TV and his mom has a copy of every Disney movie ever made. He doesn’t care what I do, obviously, but he also has no interest in what Josh does. Until not long ago he called me a “virtuous woman.”  (Proverbs 31)  I still fit the definition except verse 23.  (Verse 28 has been questionable, but Josh said he loved me this morning after I made him fried ham and French toast with heavy cream and homemade bread and cinnamon.)  I think if anybody stood up for me now, it would be a very good thing.  I’ve been victimized by those I love, rejected by those who believe lies, and I am lonely and destitute.  I’m the textbook widow.  (The text being of course, the Bible.)  My dad’s lies caused SO MUCH damage!  I’m trying real hard to care more about him than myself.
If George gave me that jewelry, maybe I could sell it and go to Brussels for the conference of PEOPLE WHO HAVE BEEN TORTURED BY ELECTRONICS.
(Also I have no “maidens”, obviously, and I can’t afford to buy a field.  Proverbs 31:15-16)

—–

—–

4:31 am

Family, and much-appreciated web-surfers, I wish I could effectively express the importance of the time we’re living in, and the degree of blessing we’ve been afforded, to live now.  We’re going to see amazing things, some of us will drop dead in astonishment.  God’s people should not be thus affected.  Those who have been blessed to hear his word, should not EVER be astonished.  (Those who hear his word will not.)  For a long time, as I was tortured, I heard God say, “Soon.”  Then for a couple years I heard, “Imminent.”  Then, for a year or so I heard, “Immediately.”  For a week now I’ve heard, “Any minute.”  I am not anybody special.  I am a cook.  I’ve heard him before, and He’s been right.  Something is going to change drastically. I plead to be like him, so I can be with him.  With Jesus is the only way to survive what is coming on the Earth.  So amazing and wonderful, that it is also the way to eternal joy.  I haven’t had much joy here.  I’ve been abused since I was a small girl.  He’s going to let me participate in seeing millions healed and become joyful.  “It will be worth it all, when we see Jesus.  Life’s trials shall seem so small, when we see Christ.  One glimpse of his dear face, all sorrow will erase.  So bravely run the race, ’til we see Christ!”  The alternative is unthinkable.
My family does not even want to “get along.”  My Baptist parents are unwilling to even TALK to a victim of their selfishness, although the time is short that they may.  What a TERRIBLE WASTE to be CHOSEN (“for such a time as this”) and be warned, and be wooed by Jesus, and to miss the advent.  To miss NOW is to be dead already, but harsher death awaits.  Death without end.  DEATH WITHOUT END.  I realize that fancy things and fancy gatherings are important to my family.  “All that glitters is not gold.”  Amen.  My parents have listened to Bible preaching far longer than I.  The pain they suffer will be commensurate with the opportunities they ignored.  We’re to love Jesus, and grow more like him.  If that hasn’t happened, we’ve merely had our “ears tickled.”  I don’t imagine that will make us feel too good as we watch others raise the dead.  I wish my parents could understand how grateful I am that they criticized and made fun of me.  I was herded into the arms of Jesus and there’s no place else worth being.  (Especially now.)

—–

10/30/14

8:04 pm

MUSIC BREAK

This one goes out to my dad.

Doris Day Sings, “Mean to Me”

—-

10:44 am

My DAD said HI TO ME THIS MORNING!  He was even talking to somebody else and actually acknowledged me!!!!

MUSIC BREAK

 I put this on my brother’s page.  He used to be a lot of fun before he sold his soul to the devil.  (Wait, his soul never even got on the market.  I should pity him.)

From “How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying”

Company Way, How to Succeed in Business, Robert Morse

—-

5:05 am

Linda’s vision of  her own parents in hell!

“Stop playing with God.  He sees all and he knows all.”

——-

10/29/14

6:27 pm

You know, I’ve been accused of many things, and my family has called me many names.  The one thing nobody (as I recall) has EVER called me is a liar.  “Thank you, Lord.”

5:26  pm

“Everybody loves a winner, so nobody loved me.  Lady peaceful, Lady HAPPY, that’s what I long to be.  All the odds are in my favor, something’s bound to begin.  It’s gotta happen!  Happen sometime!  Maybe this time I’ll win.”

—-

4:11 pm

MUSIC BREAK

(Turn it up)

Dedicated to my dad.  From “Berford”

(I love him a lot but he’s despicable.)

3:41 pm

I told my parents years ago that God said George was going to die.  I was upset.  I was concerned.  I was scared.  Instead of talking to me about it  (or PRAYING with me…) they TURNED ON ME LIKE A PACK OF HYENAS. They told the cops I was going to murder him!   I didn’t want George dead, I thought I’d be married forever.  (Their behavior during the intervening years demolished that possibility.)  They destroyed a Christian family intentionally.  “Lord, have mercy on their souls.  Forgive me for getting angry.  Every emotion has a purpose, I’m finding.  Please give me a constructive  outlet or calm me down.  You and  I  (and my parents…)  know that after I was hacked by a moral atheist and suddenly stopped  1) puking,  2) getting knocked out, and 3) being sexually assaulted by unseen entities, my only concern was Josh and the years he lost during the torture.  Thank you for caring about what happened to us.  Thank you that you have a wonderful plan for me and for him.”
—-
I filed for divorce because of George’s influence (and LACK of influence…) on Josh.  That was nearly three years ago and I’ve still been unable to provide him an alternate environment.  I described our home to my parents,  when I still expected honorable behavior from them.  When George was growing weed I told them about coming out of the shower in a towel and finding a dealer outside the bathroom door.  I told them a drug house wasn’t a good environment for women and children.  I told them how George expected nothing from Josh, even for days on end; he wouldn’t even take a peek into his room to see what’s what.  I begged my brother to let Josh stay there for a bit.  (Yeah, right.)  What I got was more defamation, when I was the only one who was trying to make things better.   Why was it necessary to destroy my influence?    How could they not love Josh enough to even CHECK IN?    That’s seriously deranged.  What were they covering up?
When George gets home I’ll have a good dinner ready, I’m thinking chicken parmesan.  There will be homemade Italian bread and I will smile and offer him a beverage.  I jump up and get things for him a lot.  (I won’t make dessert because he says he’s on a diet although he was up all night eating the cookies I made for Josh’s lunches.)  I bake him three-tiered birthday cakes and plan special meals on his days off.  I dislike living with him and believe his influence has been terrible for all of us.  I had hoped that rational people would LAY OFF  DESTROYING MY INFLUENCE  long enough for establishment of arrangements that could be good for Josh and comfortable for George. They could have killed me again later!  They’re stupid, uncaring people.  (I guess if I was covering up ALL THE SHIT THEY DID, maybe I’d be more understanding.)
—-
I had hoped for a situation where Josh could respect his father and spend time with him, but also have an alternative.  My father is a psychopath.  He tried to murder me.  When it became clear I wouldn’t die, he had a lot of tracks to cover.  (God heard every word he said to me… as he was telling others I was deficient.)  “God, I’m getting mad.  You said you’re never late.  Thank you for the improvements in Josh’s life but what kind of grandparents let it get so bad!”  I never saw this coming but,  I HATE LIVING WITH GEORGE AND I HATE HIS INFLUENCE ON JOSH AND MYSELF.  When they called me a murderer, I was astonished.  George is a kind man and I never thought I’d want so badly to escape.  It’s a good thing my parents’ accusations merely exposed their own hearts. (Dad has said numerous times that Rich would murder Chris.)  It’s a good thing I’m doing something important, as I wait for justice.  I’ve been in this prison a long time.  I’ve been waiting for six years for them to talk to me.  Hell lasts a lot longer
“As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he.”

—–

10/28/14

12:48 pm

What in the WORLD does an old man already settled in God’s waiting room have to be selfish about?  If he doesn’t do things God’s way he’s going to die anyway.  I don’t understand my father’s hesitation.  He hasn’t called yet.  I’m praying that God will give him courage.  He’ll need it, either way.  Won’t help much in Hell though, I think.  I can’t believe I was convinced he believed in God.  He will.

9:59 am

MUSIC BREAK

To all those demons who inhabit my father, who is “loved with an everlasting love”:

9:53 am

Text to my dad:

“I need you and so does the rest of the world.  I’m trusting you to do the right thing.  I’d like to see you in Heaven.  Love, Linda”

—–

9:41 am

I’m waiting for a call from my dad.  His information could change the world.

How can people  want everybody else to be like them?  What boring places their lives (and minds) must be! Especially some parents!  Parents desire the best for their children.  Can’t they even IMAGINE anything better than themselves?  (That’s not only boring, but pretty textbook-narcissistic.)  I am not satisfied with myself and would not be pleased if my children were like me.  I’d be disappointed for them…and for the universe.  My sons will participate in a new world…they could help create it and I hope they are.  I know their hearts, a bit, and that’s entirely sufficient for me to expect greatness from them.
If we don’t know people’s hearts, we should try to.  We should expect everybody to put his shoulder to the wheel to make their lives, and the lives of others, better.  When we trust a person and expect the best of him, it challenges his ego.  Even if he’s disinclined to behave for the betterment of humanity, he’s got something to prove, one way or another.  It’s a personal crisis, when somebody trusts us.  If we know we don’t deserve trust, then we’ll either try to become trustworthy…or we enter torment.  That torment probably doesn’t ever go away.

5:24 am

I don’t think God is a great fan of debt.  He outlawed usury and established “Jubilee” whereby all debts are cancelled every fifty years.  A “mortgage” is linguistically a “death contract.”  The outstanding balance on my law school loans is three times what I borrowed; student loans are bondage.  Once a graduate has a couple kids and a medical condition, he’s pretty much in the system for life.  For the smartest kids, it’s even worse. Computer skills are the new warfare and hackers often sign death contracts with an intelligence agency or a defense contractor.  “Security clearance.”   There’s no going back.
What’s a principled hacker to do when he/she sees corruption?  How about seeing your colleague jerk off with surreptitiously-gleaned selfies  of your sister?  What about the kook who keeps tabs on all his personal enemies?  How about that guy you knew at Langley… who disappeared?  You’re compromised and you’ve got a choice:  pay my child support vs. life in prison or being “extraordinarily rendered”?   These guys are in prison already.  But, they are also the only ones with means of escape…for themselves and for the rest of us.
General Keith Alexander cannot do the things hackers do.  If you put them on a deserted island with a Swiss army knife and some bandwidth,  they’d order pizza. Dr. Death himself couldn’t function without these guys, and they all know it.  I figure it’s a stand-off about now.  Hackers hold all the cards but they can’t play them without risking EVERYTHING.  I suspect one of them knows of my own small stand-off, and its implications.  My perfectly-documented story could run interference for some brave soul.  At that point the Snowden-effect might fill a few more hearts with geek-courage.   Somebody KNOWS that his employer tortured me and that it was VERY WRONG.  And he might change the world.  Obama needs gamers to shoot his drones and kill people in Pakistan!  What if they all took a break?  There’s the revolution.  Without firing a shot.

—–

10/27/14

7:21 pm

MUSIC BREAK

People Get Ready

(The Chambers Brothers)

—-

7:13 pm

“The enemy I see wears a cloak of decency…

I don’t care about economy.  I don’t care about astronomy.  But it sure does bother me to see my loved ones turnin’ into puppets.”

—-

—-

6:53 pm

MUSIC BREAK

WARNING:  Baptists, please note that this song is performed by a bad-ass Muslim.  Maybe you should plead the blood of Jesus.  (Maybe you should do that anyway, but I guess that’s not a Baptist doctrine.)

—-

6:20 pm

STILL no call from my parents.  I go to bed at seven!  (I’d stay up forever if I could have a conversation with them.)  I wonder if they’re figuring how much I know.  They could be up a long time…

4:32 pm

Still no call from the homestead. I’ve been patient.  I didn’t mention my mother’s lesbian proclivities for YEARS into my truth-quest.  (How can you blame her?  You know my dad.)  I know much more than the fact that both of my parents diddled MY BABYSITTER.  (I am 54 years old and I kept my eyes open every day.)    It is not time for PATIENCE any longer!  Millions of people live as I did, with strange things happening to their bodies and minds… and I wish to change that.  My parents hired somebody who RAPED ME and I WILL HAVE THE NAME. Thank you, God.

——-

3:07 pm

Personal message to Mom:

Dear Mom, whom I have loved forever, even when you were fondling Jean in the other room with the lights out as I cried in my bedroom,  DO THE RIGHT THING NOW.  It is not for me, too late for that.  Do the right thing FOR YOU.  (Didn’t it bother you that Dad was fondling her too?)

—-

2:45 pm

My dad is so bigoted.  Especially against stupid people.  He says, “There’s no cure for stupid.”   (We live the message we preach.)   It’s all about the context.  I can say a thing that means something  to one group of people, and it might mean something else to another group.  (“All things to all people.”)  If a hearer’s context is matrix-prescribed, my words influence nothing…and invite ridicule.  If a hearer’s context is freedom, they might try to listen.  A freedom-lover is a God-lover because…”Where the Spirit of the Lord is there is freedom.”  If you cannot understand what I say, or if you choose to denigrate my MOUNTAINS of evidence, maybe you’re not in the right place?  (If you just disregard my evidence…LIKE MOST OF Y’ALL…then you’re just stupid and I pray for your immortal souls.)  (Unlike my father, I KNOW that Jesus cures stupid.  He did it for me.  I used to believe my DAD!)

MUSIC BREAK

“Come on now, who do you, who do you, who do you think you are?  Ha, ha, ha…bless your soul.  You really think you’re in control?  I think you’re CRAZY…I think you’re crazy…”
“My heroes had the heart to live their  lives out on a limb, and all I can remember, is thinking I WANNA BE LIKE THEM!  Ever since I was little, ever since I was little  it looked like fun, and it’s no coincidence  I’ve come”…and I will never be done!  “Does that make me crazy?”

—-

1:25 pm

The thing about smart people is that they seem like crazy people to dumb people.

10:54 am

We have their leader.

—-

9:38 am

Unpleasant truths or comfortable lies?

—–

7:17 am

“Waking up is a reality bust, a shit storm, a trauma of immense proportions because it changes everything. Denial is no longer possible and it’s an ugly feeling when you start checking out your family and friends, and realise that beneath the polite, smiling, genial façade presented to outsiders…some are monsters.”

More at:   http://www.zengardner.com/shit-storm/

Matthew 10:37(a)

“He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me”

John 14:6

“I am the…truth.”  (Jesus)

—-

10/26/14

2:10 pm

What is a “double-first-cousin?”  Do I have any?

12:34 pm

I can’t believe my parents still go to church.  I hope all the right people see them there.  Their hypocrisy gags me.

12:07 pm

I’m struggling with self-pity this morning but I won’t surrender.  I have no choice but to continue my digital filibuster, no choice at all.  I am in a prison of my father’s construction, but my life is not about me, it’s about showing God’s plan.  I am  lodged comfortably…even if not legally.  Nobody spits in my face.  I don’t even see people laughing at me anymore.  I am not afraid to go into the grocery store.  I live with gentle people, but it’s not really living.  I have no family and I am concerned for those people who know my heart and follow my words but do not care that my dad stole every possible outlet for my creative expression, healthy relationships and money- earning.  They should care that I was raped as a child and that my mother refused to defend me.  They should care that she does not speak up now that she and her husband have repeatedly raped me, themselves.  I don’t want her to go to Hell.  I see her on fire lately, in visions.  I see a narrow flame coming out of her chest.  I pray for more fire every day.  At least twenty times a day I beg for more of God’s Spirit to consume me.  I pray that he’ll lift me into his manifest presence where murder attempts and life-long scapegoating do not hinder my aspirations.  He has a plan for my life that will help people and give me much satisfaction.  Morning prayer:  “Would you please get a wiggle on?”
“Silencing truth with defamation.”  I know all about this concept.  I’ve never tried it out but I’ve been subject to much intentional defamation…to silence much truth.  I really want to live in truth even if my dad chooses death by a million lies.  Don’t you want that too?  My mama SCREAMED, “WE HAD TO DO IT!”  Aren’t you curious what “it” was?
“You’re really good, Lord…I start out feeling sorry for myself and end up pitying those who refuse to defend me.  Stellar.  Keep me honest and concerned about eternity.  Amen.”

—-

10/25/14

9:23 pm

NOW

 I want to understand how it’s all, already, always, there.  The words just gush from me like nectar from a blossom of delicate succulence. No matter what tangent may be attuned to my attention…I know what to say.  I know the computer is haunted  (Madness and Politics…Amazon…)  (I get so tired of advertising but I swear a signed copy is going to be worth a million bucks.)  I WAS RIGHT.  (Look family, I even proved it to MYSELF!  When is the last time you ever saw Linda with confidence?)  I am INSTRUCTED to speak harshly to y’all and to expect your embraces when I’m done.  (I’d like to be done.  There is a universe awaiting and I’ve been looking at the underside of a lactating goat all my adult life.  Stand aside.  In the name of Jesus.)

Some personal notes to my brother:

“I understand that the fact that Dad tried to kill me rocks your pretty world.  My world was never pretty so the rocking ceased post-haste.  Get over it, be true, go to Heaven, I love you, you’ll understand me there.  JUST DO IT.”

“I’m a girl.  My life was very different than yours.  Remember when I used to cook you macaroni and cheese with tuna fish and cream-of-mushroom soup?  Why did I cook for you?   You were disadvantaged because YOU WERE A BABY and I loved you. Ever since you got a work permit…I have been the disadvantaged one.  Are you a man now?  Big man?  I remember your diapers.  I work my ass off and DAD SHOOTS ME DOWN.  (You were there, you know I speak truth…)  You a man?   This song always makes me think of you.  Remember when you and I listened to music together?  Remember when YOU SMOKED DOPE?”

—-

7:55 pm

Please ask me to speak.  Please be my family again, and pay attention to me.  I’ve been isolated so long that I’ve had a lot of time to learn.  You need me.  You do not need ME…but you need truth, and I see none in your lives.  Some of you parade as Christian people yet support an anti-christ government.  Do you actually SHOP FOR RECREATION?  (I don’t even EAT for recreation.)   PLEASE.     …listen to me…  please.   I do not know what is planned for us by humans but I know that GOD plans great things.  Please, choose his way?

—-

7:09 pm

Do you guys like America?  Do you think Jesus does?

“Lest I sound like a complete prude, I’ll admit, I’ve dropped some four-letter words in my life. However, it is entirely different from encouraging a child to say them and rewarding them when they do so.”

F*ck Feminists Who Pimp Little Girls to Promote an Agenda

– See more at: http://www.theorganicprepper.ca/fck-feminists-who-pimp-little-girls-to-promote-an-agenda-10252014#sthash.bcYzzLjT.dpuf

—-

6:46 pm

I wrote in 2011 that the bankers were disappearing.  They hadn’t begun killing themselves at that point.

Another Deutsche Banker And Former SEC Enforcement Attorney Commits Suicide

“Following a brief late summer spell in which there was little if any news of bankers taking their lives, asreported previously, the banker suicides returned with a bang when none other than the hedge fund partner of infamous former IMF head Dominique Strauss-Khan, Thierry Leyne, a French-Israeli entrepreneur, was found dead after jumping off the 23rd floor of one of the Yoo towers, a prestigious residential complex in Tel Aviv.”

“Just a few brief hourslater the WSJ reportedthat yet another Deutsche Bank veteran has committed suicide, and not just anyone but the bank’s associate general counsel, 41 year old Calogero “Charlie” Gambino, who was found on the morning of Oct. 20, having also hung himself by the neck from a stairway banister, which according to the New York Police Department was the cause of death.”

 

Read more at:  http://www.zerohedge.com/news/2014-10-25/deutsche-bank-lawyer-and-former-sec-enforcement-attorney-found-dead-apparent-suicide

1:33 pm

Lone lawyer sues Obama, alleging illegality of surveillance programs

Feds: man can’t prove he was harmed, lacks standing to challenge gov’t spying.

I can.  I just need one piece of information…

 

Read more at:   http://arstechnica.com/tech-policy/2014/10/lone-lawyer-sues-obama-alleging-illegality-of-surveillance-programs/

——

8:37 am

I feel like I’ve been on a stake-out since 2011.  “Dear Lord, please send me ONE ENLIGHTENED INDIVIDUAL! Or even one who doesn’t shirk from the light!  The brethren are getting off on FEAR PORN!  The brethren are not behaving brethrenly!  My brethren are those who do the will of my Father!  May I have a brother please?”

—-

7:52 am

Pretty soon I’m going to be able to share my coolest things!  I’ve always wanted to.  One time I even begged, I said, “You show me such COOL THINGS!  I want to show you my cool things, which are spiritual and you won’t let me!”  (He was an atheist.)   The best things I’ve ever seen, or smelled, or tasted, or touched, or heard, or felt, or done…have been in a realm other than the matrix.   People kind of tune you out if they’ve never been there.  I’m grateful that soon I’ll be there a LOT more and there will be others to talk to.  I’ll probably end up listening most of the time and loving it.  On Earth we experience a need to share ourselves.  Over there the sharing is just spontaneous.

7:43 am

“The shift is on, and people are responding by either welcoming or resisting it at all kinds of levels. It’s quite a fascinating phenomenon to behold, as well as a bit disturbing as people who don’t get it lash out at whatever influence they perceive is the culprit for their disorientation.”

“Fighting the structural degradation of old paradigms is always a messy affair, with seeming little to support our old viewpoints, except desperate grabbing on to old thought patterns and resultant behaviors which have shaped our lives. Such is the death of the old.”

 

“This wondrous discovery of the decipherable fundamental rhythmic patterns of creation at every level has profound implications that permeate every level of our existence.”

 

“Nothing to the skeptic, but something wonderful to the experiencer.”

“It reminds me how some people can’t even see the chemtrails. Or think there’s no rhyme or reason to the obvious coordination of world events and the bogus money system. In their minds it’s always been that way and there is no possible alternative.”

Whether this knowledge and experience embolden you to speak out against the control system as well as help co-create these wonderful changes or not is everyone’s free choice. I share what I’m perceiving and try to nudge and inspire as many as I can, as a growing number of others are doing. We can stare at the maniacal matrix and its wicked workings all day, but positive solutions abound and are there for the harvesting. Activating vibrationally to this paradigm shift makes it manifest and accelerates its effect on everyone and everything.”

Read more at:   http://www.zengardner.com/allowing-vibrational-change/

—–

7:19 am

To my dad:  It is time to stop farting around.  Circumstances require that ALL OF YOUR FAMILY be in possession of valid passports.  Why did God give you a lot of money if not to provide safety for the children HE ALSO GAVE YOU?  Get your rump off your wallet right quick.  You should distribute some of those tons of JUNK you’ve accumulated, too.  Share the wealth.  We might all be wearing your old bedspreads before this is over.  Do you have a pitcher-pump?  Don’t you think you should tuck one away?  Don’t want to have to drink the kool-aid, do you?

7:00 am

“People don’t even realize they’ve lost their faculties. There’s no sense of responsibility for their thought process.”

Staying Sane In An Insane World – Zen Gardner on Far Out Radio

—-

5:50 am

I think when I get all the books pulled together, I’ll start a new genre.  (I learned a bit about literary genres when Isaac published our first book.  Can a single person start a genre?  Amazon will tell me.)  I’d like to see a whole library of “Spiritual Politics.”  I liked “Magical Realism” for a while, but it’s kind of shallow and besides it’s fiction. The non-fiction side of the room is gonna tilt with new additions pretty soon.  The civil war is even going to “shock and awe” …awe, the libraries.  (Librarians are spies for the NSA and the FBI anyway.  Everybody is a spy; but you knew that your entire life.  Isn’t that why you keep a mirror in your purse?)  Maybe DARPA can be assigned a righteous task, they could devise a way for our books to be checked out at the door.  We could see the readout:  TRUTH:  pages 24 and 49.  LIES:  pages…well, you get the idea.   Sorting truth is difficult for beginners.  They’re like autistic kids who always string the same-color beads together.  Segregation.  We’re on the road to oneness in TRUTH.  Our path will be hazy for a while, at least for most of us.  Those who hear Spirit will sort through the bullshit much quicker, and they will be impenetrable in many ways.  OR, please God, let it be so, ENOUGH PEOPLE COULD WAKE UP BEFORE THE DOOR GETS SLAMMED BEHIND US.  As a species we’re done for.  We REQUIRE spiritual intervention to save the planet and to save ourselves.  “Today if you hear his voice, harden not your heart.”
I recognize much truth released on Earth since I began my blog on May 27, 2013.  (I haven’t missed a single day.)  I never thought I would post items from David Icke or Alex Jones.  (David Icke says the queen of England turns into a lizard in a full moon.  He may be right.  I’ve read 100 times that she drinks blood.)  Drinking blood is the most selfish act in the world!  (I can’t believe we’re still on the GOLDEN RULE ONLY.)  There WILL BE NO BLOOD-DRINKING IN THE KINGDOM OF GOD.  Jesus’ blood is all-powerful and never-endingly pleads good things to the Father on our behalf.  There will be nastiness revealed, no doubt, but also much glory and many miracles.  People will stand up and speak the oracles of God.  People you know?  People you never suspected? People who don’t look like the preacher-man, that’s for sure.  Follow the Spirit, not programmed bigotry.
You know what I’m thinking?  When we get done  taking down the NSA and humanity can see again, let’s do something important.  In the past couple decades a lot of Christians have been killed in Sudan.  Other places too.  Let’s think  about taking care of our brothers maybe.  The Jews who refuse the machinations of earthly Zion are in danger.  How about we think about helping them too?

—–

4:35 am

Invasion of the Data Snatchers

10/24/14

4:38 pm

—-

10:43 am

I think this would make a good tattoo, kind of a service to humanity, as consciousness grows ever dimmer.  Some human could see this nailed to a wall across the room, ripped from some corpse…and maybe some small flicker of memory could light his steps to the block.  Or maybe he’d turn and run, if he still could.

It can be nipped in its bud!

4:18 am

“By staying idle you are delaying yourself from the plans and purposes that I have ordained for you. My plan is to take you out of idle mode, and release you into fast forward. This is the season to move forward to fulfill My plans and purposes. Just as Joshua and Caleb went forth with great faith and determination, I have given you power and authority to rise up and take the land. I am calling Lazarus to come out from among the dead, throw off his grave clothes and walk in his destiny. Shake off the mediocrity and come in to the fullness of what I have for you.”

More from Elaine Tavolacci for October 23 at:   http://ft111.com/tavolacci.htm

——

3:46 am

I gotta confess, I really like being plugged in.  I’m vigilant that God allow me only to enjoy the true, but with or without a computer, I’m pretty much on-line all the time.  This is the future for us all, we just gotta choose wisely how to use this stuff.  Are we building the Kingdom of God or are we allowing some old perverts to steal our humanity?

—-

3:39 am

I love living with Josh now; this is a gift my father gave me.  I moved into a bedroom near Josh’s, while he hated me.  It was scary and I walked by his door with my head held very studiously high.  I’d close my door and then I’d cry.  My adolescent son watched his mother become immobilized and be electronically raped for years.  My dad caused him to hate me.  Before he hated me I hadn’t known him very well.  I prayed a lot about our relationship.  I learned, when Isaac was about five, that I had been born with a spirit of rejection.  A real-live demon called “rejection.”  This demon caused me to dislike touching Isaac when he became a little man.  I fondled my babies easily but there came a point that my touch-comfort changed.  So, I looked into this problem.  I learned that the circumstances of my conception and childhood created an opening for this monster to inhabit an infant girl.  (In a REAL church, REAL Christian people would have dealt with this.)  I learned (through experience, after the research) that this spirit manifests in numerous ways.  The spirit of rejection  can 1)  create artificial feelings of rejection, and of being rejected, 2) cause you to reject others, 3)  cause others to reject you.  (My dad has this spirit.)   Anyway, I think I wrote in one of the books that I respected Josh so much, and I recognized brilliance in areas I could not recognize…but I couldn’t hear him.  Learning to be his “room-mate” has given me opportunity to know him and he’s divine.  When he gets up for work he comes outside where I’m working right away.  I cook him protein every morning.  (He was getting his own breakfast but I like doing it for him.)  I pack his lunch and he shows me things on youtube.  We laugh.  I am very grateful that I was maligned and isolated.  I’m proud to live next door to this fine man.

——

10/23/14

4:03 pm

My dad is no longer a twenty-two year old vet with a hot car and something to prove.  He’s been proven.  Choose ye this day.

3:42 pm

It seems so easy.  My dad screwed me and my family over a thousand ways.  (906-291-1376)  He has refused to discuss his malfeasance for years.  I am in need, and so are my men.  My dad has money and he should give some to me.  Joshua’s life would have been FAR DIFFERENT if his mother had not been immobilized and he needs some opportunities.  My father owns a condo in Toronto where 1)  Josh could learn Swedish, 2)  we could both meet people WHO ARE NOT ASSHOLES, and 3)  I could go to CHURCH.  (The real thing.)  Dad owes me.  I need.  It’s a no-brainer.

I don’t want to see him get lynched.  People are watching, and some of the hired guns are kinder -hearted  people than my dad.

I already promised my friend I’d take him to the opera in Toronto.

—-

3:32 pm

I sent it three times.  Hope springs eternal.

3:16 pm

I sent the message to my dad again.  Since he doesn’t respond, I never know if I’ve gotten through.

“I’m waiting for you to be the man I know you can be.”

—-

3:06 pm

Text to my dad:  “I’m waiting for you to be the man I know you can be.”

——-

2:52 pm

By taking our home away, my dad really changed the dynamics here . There is animal-gak four different  places on the carpet.   (I keep track because I know I’ll get to clean it up eventually.) This is  nobody’s house, so nobody cares.  I work my ass off for a man who would rather live with his mother.   He works his ass off, at a job he hates,  for a crew he’s disinclined to even get to know.    Years ago my father could have listened to me.  Instead he called me names and we are all still paying the price for his cruelty.  If he wanted the house bad enough to lie about us and steal it…he should come clean up the cat-puke.

—–

12:37 pm

George is going to his mother’s again, for Thanksgiving, so I asked him again why he goes there all the time. He said, “I like being with her and [his brother], and going fishing.”  I said, “You went fishing one time in two weeks. We live on a lake and you don’t even have a fishing license.  I don’t understand these things.”  He said…nothing, so we started talking about menu-plans.  It’s a good thing I’m a cook or we wouldn’t talk at all.  He said a couple weeks ago that he “still cares for me.”  He doesn’t think it’s weird that two healthy heterosexuals can live a mutually celibate existence together for years.  He may be the weirdest man I ever met. He’s buying me beer again.  He hides them in the fridge and then surprises me with them.  I told him I don’t think it’s fair that he takes four vacations to Minnesota a year and still gets to spend every holiday with the boys.  He said I’m probably right.  I know life should be better than this.  I know we should be curious and serve a purpose.  By the time he goes to work I’ve put in 10 hours and I’m exhausted.  Until he leaves.  He doesn’t go for another hour so I think I’m going to take a nap.

——

10:57 am

The Kingdom of God is transparency and we all know it.  When more of us seek transparent-truth the tables will turn more tenaciously.  As we expect/offer truth, we’re modeling “transparency.”  We’re encouraging and parenting.  Our government uses operant conditioning to change us as they’d like.  We clothe ourselves with truth and escape their designs.  (When you finally understand that they know what you think, this will make a lot more sense.  When one’s foibles are exposed, the only way to avoid self-condemnation…is to dive headlong into fuck-you-mode and tell the truth about everything.)  They know all about us anyway, at least don’t be a hypocrite.  You’ll sleep better.

When God showed me the desire of my heart I almost drove off the road.  It was two mutually-exclusive things with a few impossibles hanging on.  (I also wanted this thing with no casualties.)   We’ll see what he’s got.

—-

7:02 am

George tried to rotate the tires on my car but the frame is too rusty to support a jack.  Or vice versa.  You people are all potential targets anyway, if you know my dad.  Do you think the spies have better things to do than watch you?  They don’t.  It only takes so many goons to start wars all over.  I  just realized I don’t say “hate” anymore, I don’t even think it.  I thought, as the screen dallied, “I hate waiting.”  It surprised me!  I wanted to get “hate” out of my vocabulary and it’s pretty much gone.

MUSIC BREAK

—–

6:25 am

If anybody has any ideas about where I should take my evidence, I’d love to hear them.  The conference in Brussels could make me some very good contacts, but if I’m not meant to go I’ll need other options.  Maybe God gave somebody just the right answer.  I think I’d like to talk to Tim Yip.  I’m not techy and he knows a lot of things I’ll need to know about intellectual property and the law.  I’d like to record a deposition from my two Christian witnesses, Brandon and Kevin, chosen so long ago who have heard the same claims for years.  Maybe the ACLU won’t subpoena them.
906-291-1376

—-

6:12 am

“You can be as close to him as you want to be.  Closer than any other human, in human history, if you want to be.  WE determine that.”  (Terry Bennett)  In the deepest sayings I hear, from the wisest Christ-lovers I know, with their remarkable implications for human society…I also hear personal messages for my own life.  The best teaching speaks to multiple levels of assimilation and sustenance.  God’s servants are speaking deeper things now, and most of the “church” will be left behind at this point I think.  They can’t get it.  The civil war might not turn out to be such a big thing;  fake Christians will be shirking the label.  They’ll do the splits on the staircase.  Once they’ve made the choice not  to follow the Spirit’s voice, they will step further into chosen darkness.  At some point God himself will “choose their delusions.”  (I don’t know if we’re so far yet, but we’re moving fast.)   If GOD HIMSELF chooses to deceive a created soul, I suppose that’s pretty much the end of free will.  We’re giving up free will at some point, either to God or to the NSA.  “For it is appointed to man once to die…”  (You can die physically or choose a spiritual death of obedience.)  “Please Lord, enable me to manifest freedom FASTER!  But, you’re never late.  ‘Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty.’  Please, totally possess me with your Spirit.”

“Oi’ve got blistahs on mi fingahs!”

——

10/22/14

7:47 am

All I have to do is keep on keeping on.  I must record what I see and hear.  I’ve been recording everything for nearly six years, it should be easy by now.  BUT, but, any day now somebody is going to stand with me and accept Jesus’ call to change this world on his behalf, and at his instruction.  Any day now.  “Thank you, Lord.”

—-

6:08 am

Josh meets lots of interesting people at the hardware store.  Yesterday a guy was buying paint for his handmade fishing bobbers.  His love of purpose was infectuous.  Josh said,  ” I don’t care about bobbers, but this guy was so passionate about his bobbers that I cared!”  George said I’m forgiven for forgetting two loaves of bread in the oven the other night.  He had figured the probable cost of ingredients.
The “Gospel of the Kingdom” is a mind-positioning; intentional interactions with the world that proceed from the mouth of God.  Through Jesus’ life IN US, we behave according to HIS narrative. Our bodies inhabit a kingdom that runs an alternate script; we must know this.  (It’s not real.  None of it.  Trust me.)  To choose for ourselves a “Kingdom” necessitates rejection of any and all other choices.  I hear lots of Christians hollering, ‘WE HAVE NO KING BUT CAESAR!”  “Brethren, these things ought not to be.”  Time is short; opportunities for truth are fading in the electronic twilight of human consciousness.  I’LL NOT GO DOWN WITH THE SHIP AND NEITHER SHOULD YOU!  Jesus gave us all the tools we need to escape humanity’s soon paralysis and just desserts.  Jesus will walk us through it every step of the way and we’ll “have to dance on the battlefield.”  (Some prophet heard that and it really stuck.)  Our time is now, we were born “for such a time as this.”  Esther’s gonna marry the king, one way or another so you ought to see if you’re invited to the shin-dig.  Do it while your synapses are still snappin.’

——

10/21/14

4:35 pm

What have we got to lose?  MUSIC BREAK

3:58 pm

Fake News!! CNN & BBC Busted!! ISIS Is A Fake Threat!! 2014

Of course, this is from a Russian network and maybe they lie.

12:34 pm

My parents told the government I was dangerous.  They’re incredible.  Stupidity is ignorance  chosen as a lifestyle.

THE SECRET GOVERNMENT RULEBOOK FOR LABELING YOU A TERRORIST

“The Obama administration has quietly approved a substantial expansion of the terrorist watchlist system, authorizing a secret process that requires neither “concrete facts” nor “irrefutable evidence” to designate an American or foreigner as a terrorist, according to a key government document obtained by The Intercept.”

“Instead of a watchlist limited to actual, known terrorists, the government has built a vast system based on the unproven and flawed premise that it can predict if a person will commit a terrorist act in the future,” says Hina Shamsi, the head of the ACLU’s National Security Project. “

“The fallout is personal too. There are severe consequences for people unfairly labeled a terrorist by the U.S. government, which shares its watchlist data with local law enforcement, foreign governments, and “private entities.” Once the U.S. government secretly labels you a terrorist or terrorist suspect, other institutions tend to treat you as one. It can become difficult to get a job (or simply to stay out of jail). It can become burdensome—or impossible—to travel. And routine encounters with law enforcement can turn into ordeals.”

 

Read more at:   https://firstlook.org/theintercept/2014/07/23/blacklisted/

12:04 pm

I sent my dad a text:  “It was nice to hear your voice.”

12:02 pm

I don’t think I’ll ask my dad for money to go to the conference in Europe of the people who are tormented by his tax dollars and ludicrous “government.”  I think I’ll say, “Lord, I’d like to go and meet others like me.  If you want me to go, please give me the money.”  Whew.  That’s a relief.

——

11:55 am

My dad called me.  Apparently somebody named Dan has been trying to find me.  It was nice of Dad to give me the number.  He has a broken tooth too.  It was a bill collector.  I wonder if Dad knew that?  He hadn’t called me in a really long time.

—-

11:45 am

“The religious man’s desire to live in the sacred is in fact his desire to take up abode in objective reality, not to let himself be paralyzed by the never-ceasing relativity of purely subjective experiences, to live in real and effective world, and not in an illusion….”

“In usual form, I intend on analyzing the emergence of the formation of the mass consciousness through mass media from its ritual and cultic connections, paying close attention to the pop symbology, but this time around, I will consider ritual itself.  Let us travel out of the media circus for a moment to the realm of liturgy, or communal ritual working. “

“…we begin to see that space age man is just as religious, if not more so, than ignorant, savage ancient man.  The difference emerges as merely one of form and medium, not substance.”

“Most of us do not seek out the village shaman or hierophant for messages from the spirit realm, yet do we not daily gaze into our handheld magical mirrors and screens that transmit the messages of the priests, shamans and ascended media masters, with little opprobrium?”

” From the towering cathedrals of the major films studios, CNN and Fox, the word of the gods issues forth to guide we supplicant masses with a bevy of tales of lives of new patron civic saints and mythologies of Hollywood heroes that subsist in the realm of the unattainable forms.”

Controlling the American Mind: The Viral Liturgical Psychodrama

 

Read more at:   http://21stcenturywire.com/2014/10/20/controlling-the-american-mind-the-viral-liturgical-psychodrama/

——

9:54 am

I want to be with my fellow freedom-lovers!  I want to dance in the streets and stomp grapes.  I want to laugh as I watch the kingdoms of the world self-destruct!  I want to raise the dead for Jesus and demolish every unjustified conflict.  I want to BE his presence everywhere I go, and I want to go everywhere.  I want to believe everything he says (I don’t yet, even after all this time…) and I want to watch my lover be glorified by all inhabitants of the earth, even those we don’t believe can talk, along with lots of spirit beings, whom we will then more easily ascertain.  I’m longing for the revelation of the Lord, Jesus the Christ.  This is an amazing time to be living.  We’ve been very blessed, and when those who recognize that blessing are drawn together, everybody else will see the blessing too.  It’s a fine time to be a servant of the Most High God!

—-

9:37 am

The road is splitting, it’s happening beneath our feet. We’re gonna have to jump for it, too late to turn back.  Which side to get off?   Only two choices:  From here on out we will all be either, 1) those who KNOW, or 2) those who don’t want to know…and are therefore holding back our transformation long enough for them to die off and leave the responsibility of the species to everybody else.  Lazy.  Irresponsible.  Anti-christ.  Let’s get this show on the road.  Are you going to KNOW or are you going to PRETEND YOU DON’T?  Only two ways to turn, but you gotta choose one.  The way my captain points is towards Truth, always toward truth.  “Study to show thyself approved unto God.”  “It is the glory of God to hide a matter but the glory of kings to search it out.”  If you just want to hope it will go away if you can pretend hard enough that you actually see the emperor’s glorious fabric that reveals all, it was nice knowing you.

—–

7:35 am

When you are faced with desperate circumstances you can either do whatever you need to survive or you can submissively accept your fate and die.

“What’s happening in the real world makes the dystopian zombie world of Walking Deadseem almost quaint. The writers of this show brilliant use of symbolism and imagery captures the violent, chaotic, inhumane, darkening, brutal world we inhabit as the Fourth Turning crisis period we entered in 2008 deepens on a daily basis.”

“Right and wrong no longer matter. Morality is an antiquated concept. Adhering to the Constitution is an outmoded notion. Our society celebrates and condones our dog eat dog economic paradigm. Or zombie eats anything world in the case of Walking Dead.”

 

OMG, I saw this in a vision:   “They have become nothing but cattle to be butchered and consumed by the Terminus cannibals. You see another part of the processing plant where human remains are hanging from hooks like sides of beef.”  I’m so glad I don’t watch TV.

 

“The elected and non-elected rulers of the deep state are the butchers, sending young men off to die for oil companies and arms dealers, impoverishing the masses through inflation and their control of the currency, and enriching themselves through their complete control of the political, financial, judicial, and economic systems. This establishment, or invisible government as Bernays described, is committed to its own enrichment and perpetuation. Its scope, financial resources, and global reach put it in a predator class all by itself.”

“The common people are the cattle being led to slaughter. We are kept docile with incessant propaganda from the mainstream media; marketing messages to consume from Madison Avenue; filtered, adjusted, manipulated economic data fed to us by government agencies; an endless supply of iGadgets and other electronic distractions; government education designed to keep us ignorant; 24/7 reality TV on six hundred stations to keep us entertained; corporate toxic processed food to keep us obese and tame; and an endless supply of Wall Street supplied debt to keep us caged in our pens with no hope of escape. The butchers of the deep state have maintained control for decades, but we’re entering a new era.”

 

Read more at:   http://www.theburningplatform.com/2014/10/16/either-youre-the-butcher-or-youre-the-cattle/

6:17 am

BUMP TO THE TOP:  From a journal:

January 10, 2013

2:33 am
I stick up for absolutely everyone.  I don’t care what the Vet said about me last week, I’ll grant lenience.
Those fat, pathetic, manatee-like things that bounce through shopping centers, constantly paranoid about their safety, placating every sensory craving while indifferent to the crimes of their leaders, so long as these hamplanets continue to feel “safe”.
get going, get going, I’ll never have to hurry, I’ll never have to hurry, get going
To be a moral Jew and know you will be hunted.  Humans are predators ever.  “The KKK took my baby away.”  (Ramones, I think)
4:52 am
Why are some people so important that their presence in a community is permitted to disrupt everybody else’s lives?  Why must we protect the important people, and accept that lesser-beings  can’t get home from work because of security roadblocks.  I’m sure Michelle Obama is a lovely person but she disrupts lives wherever she goes.  Basic economic theory would say that the contributions of those same lesser-individuals outweigh her “contribution.”  I also think her dog should fly coach.
5:22 am
I’m sensing some kind of integration.  My scripture-principles seldom require chapter-verse validation.  My political observations are automatic.  My wit is responsive and my breathing calm.  I think this is what truth feels like.  I’m liking it.

October 20, 2013

On the abolition of lying and its effects on human consciousness.

Our government has abolished lying.  Not only do they track and record our every move and communication, but they also can read our minds.*  (Google:  Remote neural monitoring.)  When God said, “Be sure your sin will find you out,”  He must have chuckled at this present age.  In times past He had to take a more active role in exposing lies.
God has his own DARPA, and His weapons are infinitely greater.  We are entering the age of the Kingdom of God, and His Spirit will provide mind-reading abilities to more people.  The Seven Spirits of God  (Isaiah) have already given certain believers the ability to “look at a person and know everything about him just like I lived with him all his life.”  (Sadhu Sundar Selvaraj)   Obviously, to be entrusted with such a powerful thing requires a lot of personal preparation.  I do not have the Seven Spirits yet.  I only function in the “gifts of the Spirit” as all Christians are told to “stir it up”.   I only know what he wants me to know.
People are still going to lie for a while, until we see enough of our fellow liars get picked off.  Lying will diminish gradually, with trust increasing commensurately.  When there are more non-liars than liars, society will experience drastic changes.  These changes will alter our understanding of ourselves, our interactions with others, and the systems we use to conduct activities.  Following are merely a few of the changes we will experience:
Effects of lie-absence on the individual
I am grateful that I’ve had to work through many of these things already.  When I became aware of another presence in my “secret place” with God, I really bristled.**  He settled me down, and insisted that I tolerate the intrusion.  He gave me love for the intruder, then intruders, and although it’s never been pleasant to share Him, I know it has been for my betterment.  Personal thoughts I would normally share only with Him caused great embarrassment. This had to cease.  Many other emotions we accept as “normal” will dissipate as we become aware that any falseness of word or mind is being noted by others.  The “great cloud of witnesses” has ALWAYS been with us, but now some of them are digital.
As we work through our own duplicitous nature we will no longer feel guilt or shame.  Our ambition will be revealed for the God-stealing lust that it is.  Selfishness will become impossible to maintain.  Compassion will be unnecessary, as we recognize truth in others and respond appropriately to their needs.  As we become more authentic within, fear will abandon our thought life.  Then, if we experience fear, we can accurately perceive its source…Satan.
When we become congruent within, we will learn to trust the messages our bodies give us.  We will not run to a doctor to alleviate “symptoms” but will consider what they mean.   They will become metaphorical like “cold feet” and “stiff neck”.  The Bible will take on new life.  For instance Proverbs 14:30  “A sound heart is the life of the flesh: but envy the rottenness of the bones.”  We’ll figure things out.  We’ll have peace.
Effects of lie-absence on relationships
When we become accustomed to hearing only truth, our personal relationships will undergo revolution.  With no possibility of manipulation or coercion, there will be no drama.  Some relationships will become much deeper, obviously, but some will dissolve.  Ardent lovers of Jesus will no longer suffer the pangs of loneliness in their passion and divine connections will result as hearts are revealed.  (Eventually I believe every worshiper will be able to experience God in the same “secret place” at the same time.  No dresscode in the Spirit realm.)
Jealousy will disappear, as we understand WHY our friends and lovers do what they do.  Exclusivity within relationships will not be necessary because connecting on the coming level will be so natural we’ll all know to whom we belong.  There will be no concept of sharing one another when we all share ourselves.  There will be peace.
 Effects of lie-absence on society
Hierarchical constructs will be obsolete.  You can’t have a bureaucracy without liars!  Group organization will be much more effective when we all just naturally know which person is right for which task.  Resumes will be unnecessary when we’re seeking not a job, but “our destiny.”
 Contracts will be unnecessary, obviously.  Banks would serve no purpose, not even their fictional role as “protectors” of money.  No courts, no jails.  The social infrastructure will come tumbling down!  It’s fun to think about a paradigm with no lies, and pondering questions gives God opportunity to speak to us.  You’d probably have to turn down the volume on the football game, though.
“Church government”, always an oxymoron, will be revealed as moronic.  We’ll have peace.

Hebrews 6:1 Therefore leaving the principles of the doctrine of Christ, let us go on unto perfection; not laying again the foundation of repentance from dead works, and of faith toward God,

2 Of the doctrine of baptisms, and of laying on of hands, and of resurrection of the dead, and of eternal judgment.

3 And this will we do, if God permit.

Did you get that? RESURRECTION OF THE DEAD IS MERELY FOUNDATIONAL!

God be praised for what awaits us as He unfolds His divine plan for every individual!

*  If you ever hear voices in your head, or your car horn plays “shave and a haircut” when you push the keyfob, or if you see “coincidences” on Facebook…do not panic.  You are not crazy.  They can do stuff like that too.
** It may be hard to understand the “secret place” if one has never experienced prayer as a two-way conversation.
Sources:
1 DARPA
2 Experience w/other consciousness invading my intimate prayer life
3 Input FROM other consciousness
4 Necessity of becoming increasingly honest
5 Holy Spirit
I brought the atheist a plate of ham with cranberry horseradish sauce, scalloped potatoes, roasted cauliflower, sunflower seed-whole-wheat bread with butter, pumpkin pie and whipped cream.  I  was riled, and I said, “The Christians are a fraud.  They say they trust Jesus but they trust our anti-christ GOVERNMENT”  He calmed me with:  ”But you know that.”  I said, “I know Jesus… and he’s not a fraud.”  He hopes I’m right.
From 3/5/13
The divine requirement is this:  “Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might.”  Absent this requirement, Bible-readers should just close the book because the promises don’t even apply.    With this requirement fulfilled, absolute freedom exists!
God knows I love him with all my heart, and with all my soul, and with all my might.  I have been examined rather intensely, in this regard, and I ask him always to draw me more, so I might love him more.  I compare my love to him with my heart-position towards anybody else and/or any thing, and He always wins.  I give him all glory for having mercy on me and pulling me towards him.  I give him honor for blessing me with extreme situations, that tested my love for him in conclusive ways.  I would not know him as I do, had I not experienced such unusual events.  I would never have  been certain that I love him more than anything.
I prayed with Isaac yesterday and we held hands.  He cried.  He wants to have surgery on his feet.  He’s in pain all the time but I always expected, and he always hoped, that God would heal his feet, and Josh’s.  I had a very rough period…longing.  Longing, continually.  When my belief decreases, I begin to long.  I will to reject every emotion and/or thought that doesn’t originate with God.  I will to not care what people think I’m about, when I do that.

——

10/20/14

7:51 pm

No matter how this goes down, if you do not help me get this information out, you will wish you had.  “Ultimately, if we know how consciousness is created and which parts of the brain are involved then we can understand who has it and who doesn’t.”  (Koch)   The scientists can do things they sell to the government which does things for purposes we do not approve.  My dad is rich, I have information that could help people. and I need money to do so.  My father tried to kill me and I’ve forgiven him but he owes much to society.  He judges others about their contributions to society.  I stopped him last time we had dinner, when he was denigrating the local funeral-home operator:  “What has he done for the community?”  My dad used to make me fearful and insecure in my calling.  Now he just makes me feel pity.  He will contribute. He will or he’ll wish he had, and  if he doesn’t it won’t matter anyway.  (Except to him.)

10:44 am

“And for the light by which you see me, leave it on… I think you’re gonna miss me when I’m gone.”

10:38 am

Do as you will.  Disregard my claims.  Go out for dinner.  I couldn’t care less.  I have no emotional involvement with the truth I should share with humanity.  I’m going to live forever.  Will your kids?

—-

10:31 am

10:18 am

—-

10:05 am

10:00 am

MUSIC BREAK

Our family anthem!

—-

6:53 am

Can an unrepentant psychopath go to Heaven?  Would God not rather create circumstances conducive to fostering a repentant spirit?  I think so.  Would he permit circumstances so supersedingly frightening in their implications that ALL psychopaths are given cause to reflect?  I think so.  He is using  the same human hubris to expose those who lack spine, those who accept their pass to Hell.  It has begun.  “Hell hath enlarged herself” for  “the fearful and the unbelieving.”    Everybody, no matter what happens from here on out, everybody will always have that niggling:  Are my thoughts my own?

—–

6:05 am

MORNING PRAYER

—-

6:01 am

“We’re not here to gain a victory.  We’re here to enforce one.”  (Terry Bennett)

———————-

10/19/14

5:28 pm

They rape your mind first, before they make your labia majora move of its own accord.  They show you pictures and speak things into your mind.  My mind was secure against sexual intrusion.  My mind was UNDER CONTROL and I never even thought about sex with a man who was not my husband.  (That took years.  E-mail me and I’ll tell you stories!)  I DID NOT think about the things I saw.  (I can prove it.   Does not a single Christian man care about my evidence?)  I RECORDED IT ALL, in a voice that was VERY SURPRISED.  My EVIDENCE IS THE BEST EVER BECAUSE I WAS SO STUPID I THOUGHT IT WAS ALL SPIRITS!  Somebody, please see the logic of my plight and demands!  I HAVE THE BEST EVIDENCE EVER.  Don’t you even give a shit?  Don’t pretend to serve Jesus.  It makes me want to puke.

Yes, my father raped me.  I’m over it.  Bring him along please?

5:13 pm

And when I’m again modest, I will not judge those who are not.  I will consider my own indiscretions when I contemplate their motivations.  I will put myself into another’s shoes and I will not judge.  I will allow myself to be transformed into the likeness of Jesus and I will view things as he does.  I will enjoy life a lot more.  I will not be prude.  I will be me.  I will however, expect perfection from myself.

——-

5:02 pm

I want my modesty back.  My dad took it.  God said I will have it.  I will.

—-

10:40 am

I haven’t seen a lot of moral courage.  My former religion taught finger-pointing and self-justification.  My family taught bigotry and unfairness.  My marriages heard righteous conviction and appropriate outrage.  I’ve heard those things in churches also, and even from my family.  I don’t see much action to support the claims of conviction.  If you are charged with being a Christian would there be enough evidence to convict you?  The secret to exercising moral courage is having a right understanding of ourselves, of our self.  We are eternal, spiritual creatures meant to do greater works than the Savior of Mankind did in the flesh…and to change the momentum of the world so everybody can be happy.  We’re still clutching our trinkets. The Kingdom of God is within and now is the time to access it.  It’s a peaceful place to hang out, also.  His Kingdom is love and justice and you get there by following the bread-crumbs of peace.  Your mode of transport is Truth, “He’s the Way, the Truth, and the Life/Light.”  Where you see Jesus is where people are trying to be truthful, where they do their homework.  Where you find truth is where people are looking for truth.  “Seek and ye shall find.”  Where people SAY they have truth is where they’re bluffing.  I’m pretty sure that’s right.

  1. Nothing between my soul and my Savior,
    Naught of this world’s delusive dream;
    I have renounced all sinful pleasure;
    Jesus is mine, there’s nothing between.
  • Refrain:
    Nothing between my soul and my Savior,
    So that His blessed face may be seen;
    Nothing preventing the least of His favor;
    Keep the way clear! Let nothing between.
  • Nothing between, like worldly pleasure;
    Habits of life, though harmless they seem,
    Must not my heart from Him ever sever;
    He is my all, there’s nothing between.
  • Nothing between, like pride or station;
    Self or friends shall not intervene;
    Though it may cost me much tribulation,
    I am resolved, there’s nothing between.
  • Nothing between, e’en many hard trials,
    Though the whole world against me convene;
    Watching with prayer and much self-denial,
    I’ll triumph at last, there’s nothing between.
  • (Charles A. Tindley)

 

—-

8:41 am

“As far as recent news, the eugenic Gates Foundation is getting slammed in an Indian court, Monsanto’s taking major hits, the false flags are exposed as soon as they happen, government crackdowns are being stood up to, corruption is being exposed, and the eboloney scam, whatever it turns out to be, is being dissected, trounced and unraveled as fast as the next ridiculous incident happens.”

The Peaceful Power of Confidence

“At this point our war is a war of words and information. That we’re still able to communicate freely via the internet is wonderful. That and other forms of media as well as word of mouth are what is driving the awakening. When folks wake up in one area and the dots begin to connect it all starts to come together. Then comes the insatiable appetite for more information. And baby, it’s out there! Wonderful folks have been getting real research and insights into the informational as well as morphic field and things are changing, despite the mess we’re witnessing on the world stage as the matrix goes through its chaotic death throes.”

 

See more at:   http://www.zengardner.com/peaceful-power-confidence/

——

10/18/14

6:19 PM

Some of those inner worlds cannot be described in words. They are a far away land beyond anywhere that has been documented or described. They consist of surreal planes of existence; bizarre worlds of unusual angles and directions in hyperspace that don’t follow our up-down, left-right, way of thinking. Then there are beautiful, fractal, digital worlds, like complicated geometric paintings that move very fast.

Journey to a Far Away Land

See more:   http://sorendreier.com/journey-to-a-far-away-land/

—-

5:36 pm

I’m a panhandler!  I am a dirty-rotten bum of a homeless plunk of Heaven on the dirty ground that supports those whose permits are in order.  I kid you not:  THIS IS THE FINAL BATTLE IN WHICH YOUR PARTICIPATION WILL BE EXPECTED.  “Choose ye this day, whom you will serve.”  

 Is your “god” the creator of the universe?  STAND UP AND ACT THAT WAY.

—-

5:18 pm

Do Americans do metaphor anymore?  Do we GET IT?  Ever?  God has been speaking for generations!  (I wouldn’t let my kids watch Mary Poppins, because I was Baptist.  I hope they watched it anyway.)  I called Mary Poppins a witch.  The old me would have called ME A WITCH at this point, if not long before.  It’s not a bad reality, this “being right”…after years of being wrong and begging Jesus for truth!  We MUST CARE ABOUT OTHERS.   This is the “gospel of the Kingdom.”  We must obey Christ.  Otherwise, we’re fodder for the perverts who wish to live forever at our expense.  Be there or be square.

—-

4:43 pm

MUSIC BREAK

Paul Simon & Phoebe Snow @ The David Letterman Show

 

—-

4:26 pm

Are you a Christian?  Even by only  heritage and water?  Did you think your first test would be when they quote SCRIPTURE and demand that you “receive the mark” before you may eat?  The Bible wasn’t written in techie-speak.  Think a bit.  Please.  I don’t want to be responsible for ALL YOUR CHILDREN when you become a zombie and realize that I was right but it’s too late for that now…  I’m here.  906-291-1376.  I’d like to be in Brussels.  906-291-1376

—-

4:08 pm

(No message from my dad.)

It’s snowing.  Tell Michael Rivero.  I was hoping it wouldn’t require something really big to wake people up.  I should have known better;  9/11 didn’t do it.  But we’ve SEEN BIG THINGS!  The Pacific Ocean is dead, the HAARP operators run a protection racket for tropical storms, children are sold as sex toys or doped with psychotropic drugs because they move.  Christians are fake, Jews are fake, Republicans and Democrats are fake, fake, fake.  There are takers and there are givers.  You can’t always tell by looking which cat you’re dealing with.  It takes spiritual discernment and even then, you gotta treat them all the same anyway.  We’re still studying the golden rule here:  “Do unto others as you would have others do unto you.”  This is an utterly necessary component of Christian love, and baseline at that.  It is also, somewhat surprisingly, the one thing that gives a human organism victory over electronic mind-rapers.  Breathing helps.  Marijuana helps.  TALKING helps.  But, if you’re the kind of person who reflexively treats others as less worthy than yourself… they got your nuts in a vice.  Just sayin’.  BASELINE.

—–

11:04 am

Text to my dad:

“I need to go to a conference in Europe…with or without you.   They need my evidence.  It lasts a week, would three thousand do it?  I’ve never been to Europe other than Britain.”

——

8:29 am

We must note every possible detail of every moment.  We must record them for times when outsiders attempt to change our memories or our reality.  We should record things so we can check our memory.  (If you’re not ever going to help me fight, at least protect yourself as long as you can.)  Eventually, you MUST move into the Spirit to keep ahead of the monsters.  You will have an opportunity to move into what seems science fiction, into the actual natural, supernatural.  This is where we are supposed to live, and where the survivors will.  “It’s a new army.  We’re all adjusting.”  (Sgt. Bilko, Dan Akroyd)

——

7:24 am

MUSIC BREAK

I always thought Mark Lindsey was so hot when I was a kid.  I realize that I’m now sticking up for the entire race.  That’s very cool.  That’s a lot of responsibility.  We all have to stick our necks out.  We must do so immediately.

—–

6:40 am

Some of the sheep are actually waking up.

6:24 am

“Millions of people already ‘hooked-up’ to the mainframe.  This is current reality.”

“This technology could be for GOOD!  Military and intelligence are 40 years ahead of us.”

I’d REALLY like to go to this conference.  Synthetic eternal life.  They started working on the “Soul-stealer” chip in the nineties.

Magnus Olsson: Transhumanist Agenda are mind stealers! Conference to feature NSA whistleblower

—-

10/17/14

9:39 am

MUSIC BREAK

This was the first album I ever owned.

(Except for “Come and See the Peppermint Tree”)

(“Mama’s in the kitchen just-a washing up some dishes, pots and pans and bottles with a little bottle-brush.  There’s the salt and pepper shaker, no I must not get them wet!  Oh, the salt is stuck…CAN’T SHAKE IT!  Mommy, I want some milk.  Please?”)

—-

9:32 am

God can save the worst of the worst.  That’s Jesus’ point entirely.  There is not a psychopath selfish enough to withstand Jesus’ light.  Unless they choose to disregard metaphor and reality.  We’re all selfish.  We are not all psychopaths.  We all want what we want.  We choose different methods of securing our desires.  The ends do not EVER justify the means.  It’s all about the journey and always will be.  Even after the revolution, we’ll be looking for new worlds to conquer.  “Selfish”  kind of fizzles out on the road to bigger goals. “Success” is a flowing concept.   If you don’t like living now it is unlikely that you’d like to continue forever.  God is always just and no psychopath in Hell will ever truthfully say that he hadn’t had the chance to follow light.

—–

9:02 am

“Americans need to understand that their government is not merely incompetent and immoral, but that it is evil. Washington hides behind moral language but is itself devoid of moral conscience. There is no evil of which Washington is incapable. Those who support Washington support evil.”

 

Read more from Paul Craig Roberts, here:   http://www.lewrockwell.com/2014/10/paul-craig-roberts/putin-speaks/

—-

6:00 am

Eternal life is not just a longitudinal thing, I’m seeing.  It’s a component of every thought and decision  even right now.  I’ve chosen to invest my life, others chose to endure their own.  I had a vision once, of myself as the initiating point of billions of arrows of light.  They flew in every direction out from me, above and below and all around.   The potential distance and volume of each arrow was beyond my ability to see.  Every one.  I shot an arrow one time, Jesus gave it to me and I thought long and hard about where to aim it.  I asked his advice and we argued a lot.  (My body was at a friend’s house in Ann Arbor.  I always remember where I was when I had a vision, and every time I return to those places I’m reminded.)   I can’t wait to see if I hit the target.  (I took Jesus’ advice in the end; I always do.)

Now that I think about it, I think I’d really like to go to that conference in Belgium.  (I was kinda just being snotty earlier.)  Maybe some international tribunal would like to look at my evidence.  Maybe I’m the PERFECT CASE for Lambremont Webre’s new court, that’s in Brussels too.  If God would get me some money, I think I’d go.

COVERT HARASSMENT CONFERENCE 2014
BRUSSELS, 20 NOVEMBER 2014

See more at:   http://www.covertharassmentconference.com/

5:39 am

“My first duty is to MY PEOPLE.”  (Edward Snowden)  (He said he’ll not be advising Russian policy-makers anytime soon.)  I don’t care if he’s running interference for the CIA’s burnt-earth PR campaign, he says good things.  He’s cogent.  This is an amazing time to be alive and I can’t wait for when I fully am.  (That’s cute.  I’m longing to be more like God.  I Am.)  We are all responsible for the little bit of truth we’ve been allotted.  Do we run with it?  Or do we hide it under a bushel?  “I’m gonna let it shine!”  Light shines in darkness, darkness cannot extinguish it.  Light is Truth and also Love.  We must share these things WITH OUR PEOPLE!  Those in our family must see our light!  Then we must share it with those in our communities and in our political demographics.  Then outer space!  “To the enlargement of his Kingdom there will be no end!”  It starts with one small flicker.  “Won’t let Satan poof it out, I’m gonna let it shine.”

But ye shall receive power, after that the Holy Ghost is come upon you: and ye shall be witnesses unto me both in Jerusalem, and in all Judaea, and in Samaria, and unto the uttermost part of the earth.
There’s this conference next month in Brussels, for “Targeted Individuals.”  That’s my new church and I’d love to attend their first service.  They’re going to worship Truth and I’d like to accompany him there.  That would cost a lot of money, I expect.  Maybe three thousand dollars?  At least I wouldn’t need a visa, probably.  I’d like to fellowship with those who know things I also know.  I’d like to breathe a bit.  I’d like to ascertain the next right step.  I’ve been entrusted with a VERY BIG light.  I don’t want to get anything wrong so I give my life to Jesus every day and ask for more of his Spirit to fill me so full that light bursts through my pores onto every living creature.  I ask for divine love.  I’ve been asking for a long time.

——

10/16/14

2:34 pm

“This is an hour when truth will be exalted. Those who have walked in it, prayed for it, and cried out in it will rise up and move forward to advance in the work of the kingdom. They will carry a boldness and a mark of holiness that can only come from me. For they will not compromise nor be afraid. Their demeanor will be a righteous one that carries my truth in love. It is all about redemption and all about my grace which I shall freely give to those who cry out and seek it.”

 

“You will see my angels move forward and many will witness their presence. My eyes will be upon the faces of warriors that will be raised up in this army. You will see them dressed with resolve, clothed with power, and carrying the sword of my word. This year will resemble a Holy Strategic War against the enemies of the day. There will be a mighty sound ringing in the midst of my people. A sound of worship and holy consecration will be upon the lips of my people as the heavens rejoice.”

 

Read more, for October 2014, here:   http://ft111.com/ford.htm

—–

7:44 am

Fritz Springmeier – Undetectable Mind Control

I think this is 1997.  I used to listen to Springmeier back then, he spoke at The Prophecy Club.  I don’t think I ever saw him in person.  Twenty years ago principled scientists were saying that when we walked into a grocery store, the ads changed just for us.  Now we get offended if the internet shows us ads for plus-size clothes.  Don’t they know me better than that?

—-

5:34 am

When  a desire becomes a need is where it must get hard for psychopaths.  That’s the point where considerations of covering one’s tracks take a backseat to results-at-all-cost.  (This would be “free-thinking” psychopaths, not the poor slobs with microwaves in their heads.  I’m talking about a true, organic psychopath.) You can want a thing pretty bad and still behave appropriately.  The Gollum doesn’t come out until you NEED a state of being.   
Our beliefs are wrong…we don’t NEED anything.  God is in charge and he gives us what we need.  Even if he has said we will have a thing, it’s not our business to make it happen.  I believe Israel will have all the land the Bible says it will.  I do not believe brutal, police-state Israel is conquering territory God’s way.  God is redistributing Planet Earth.  Everybody’s gotta wait their turn.

—-

5:14 am

Does Israel “defend” itself…or is it committing genocide against an imprisoned population?

Is America a democracy or a bribe-ocracy?

—–

10/15/14

5:57 pm

The woman born a’Goldthorpe is poverty-stricken.  She is dumped at the crossroads of effective participation-and the home of some man who will relieve Goldthorpe-men of the burden.  She is not noticed, once dumping commences.  She is still valuable, more so than the men-folk can bear to consider.  It’s over.  The last shall be first and I’ll go to their houses and remove my shoes.  The women are rising.  It’s about time, from over here.

—–

5:47 pm

My family doesn’t know about this.  My uncle becomes offended when his daughter complains about losing a quarter in his coin-operated washing machine.  That quarter is the difference to her, between having clean clothes and dressing as a ragamuffin.

The Cycle of Poverty Spins Faster

“We ended the conversation and I checked to see what sort of premium the men in the warehouse would be receiving, which turned out to be double for Saturday and triple for Sunday–a big chunk of change. The women were upset because of the unpaid burden being placed on them, but even more because they had planned to use those last few days to shop for their kids and cook for the holiday.”

 

“As they merge and move, those who ride the economic wave will grow richer, paying more and more to influence politicians and regulators who are in positions of power, and less and less toward the survival of the powerless. The costs of government subsidized programs that keep the working class only functional enough to pick up a broom or hand out bologna samples at the superstore will ultimately be deducted from their measly paychecks. The rich and powerful will continue to fuck the poor AND make them pay for it.”

 

See more at:   http://dissidentvoice.org/2014/10/the-cycle-of-poverty-spins-faster/

——-

2:15 pm

I think I’m supposed to get reimbursed by Christ’s body.  He’s using us for everything it seems!

——

9:04 am

Ever gave a thought how just a few hundred families have ended up ruling the entire western world – plundering and taking away from you all that rightfully belonged to you – turning you into an obedient servant of them – a slave, in fact?

“The sad part is that you are a willing participant in the plunder of humanity – your own plunder. Consuming in the fire of mutual hate, you are the one doing the bidding of your masters – destroying and killing the fellow humans, so that your masters – your lords, can loot  the resources and possessions of your victims.”

 

Read more at:   http://viewsandpreviews.com/the-instruments-of-diversions-discord-and-division/

——

8:35 am

A lot of people are just waiting for a single piece of information.

Bahraini Activists Hacked by Their Government Go After UK Spyware Maker

“IF HUMAN RIGHTS GROUPS CAN MAKE A LINK BETWEEN THE DATA THE GOVERNMENT COLLECTED THROUGH THE SPYING AND TORTURE, THEY MAY BE ABLE TO GO AFTER BAHRAINI AUTHORITIES AS WELL.”

“…the app showed that he’d exchanged a series of messages with a friend. The messages asked his friend where she was, what the location and time of a planned meeting with a group of their friends was, and who would be at the meeting.”

“Ali never sent those messages, though his friend did not know this. Quickly, he sent her an email letting her know he wasn’t the correspondent, but as soon as he got to a computer to log into his Facebook account, the phantom messages sent to his friend were gone.”

Been there, done that…

Read more at:   http://www.wired.com/2014/10/bahraini-activists-go-after-spyware-source/

—-

7:44 am

“The only cure for love…is more love.”

Love Epidemic 

—–

7:34 am

MUSIC BREAK

——-

7:17 am

The lights were out again.  One fine day pretty soon, some big, strong Christian man will put his arm around my shoulders and say, “I’m very sorry Linda, for all the things you suffered while the ‘church’ was looking the other way.”   “I’m sorry that my tax dollars paid for you to be repeatedly raped.  I’m sorry that your dad stole everything you ever had and every person you ever loved.  I’m sorry about what will happen to him now.  Jesus loves you and I will obey Jesus.”

The Christian man might also say, “I’m sorry that you had to stand up for truth ALONE.”  “Maybe I’ll check into those girls who were raped by ABWE too!”

10/14/14

2:38 pm

“Attention spans and strong wills are dwindling down, right along with the immune systems, fertility rates and creativity. The mojo, zest, and the spontaneity of existence has been beaten out in the name of conformism and political correctness. We have forgotten too much in order to start over right, so we are at the breaking point; it’s now or never. We are facing the next mass extinction event, and it would not be statistically unsound to consider it. In fact, the only reason most of us don’t is because they don’t talk about it honestly in the media if at all, and we don’t really like to think about it.”

“The only thing that will allow us to stand up and take action is to realise that we are at an unprecedented point in history to do something about it. That, or whatever else makes you feel alive and gets your creative juices flowing.”

“If you’re not up to date on all that yet, now would be a good time. It’s no use to complain, though. It’s also no use to protest, or to shout, or to self-implode. It’s even less useful to distract yourself with Facebook, Twitter and how much protein you had today, or how much weight you lifted. It’s less useful still, to keep fighting amongst yourselves, in seeing who is prettier, stronger, has better moves or more creative prose. You have one other option- one last option- you can evolve.”

 

“You will need to monitor the input that comes in and out of your lightbody, and develop an impeccable warrior’s will and intent on how to use it to create and navigate through this reality. There is a crack right now, a window of opportunity where you can pry yourself into the void and learn a whole lot, very quickly. ”  (I said that years ago.  The newbies will far outrun us…but they will also need us.)

“Remember not to impose any change on others, for their place is a catalyst to yours and vice-versa. We need as many points of awareness as possible on all levels to keep this great self evolving and as we may derive as much benefit from simply understanding others as much as we would from any change in the outside world.”

Read more at:   http://www.zengardner.com/fireflies-misty-autumn/

—-

9:03 am

Here’s how you gotta look at this:  I am a missionary on deputation and I’m telling you exciting stories from the front lines.  (I know Baptists don’t tell exciting stories anymore but just go with me here.)  You pew-squatters are supposed to dig deep and finance my assault on our mutual enemy.  I’d play a snappy tune if y’all would lift a cheek from off your wallet.  I always wanted to be a missionary.  God made me a missionary to the church.  He’s pretty funny sometimes.

I also want to preach from your sacred pulpits and tell the masses not to believe your sorry government-bought asses no matter what you say!

——–

7:25 am

“These things are blasphemous. They are a disgrace to the Lord. They drive non-believers from Christianity. They are an assault on the Blessed Trinity. They are a blight on Christianity. They are an affront to the Saviour. They are anti-scriptural. They are indicative of the sorry state of many evangelical churches today. They are the most heinous examples of the world taking over the church. They break down the wall of separation of church and state. They make a mockery of New Testament Christianity.”

“What blasphemy am I talking about? Not the reciting of the Pledge of Allegiance during church services, which makes me nauseous. Not churches letting their county governments use their facilities as polling places, which is even worse than churches encouragingChristians to vote Republican, as bad as that is. Not the placing of hundreds of small American flags around the church property, of which purchasing these flags is the biggest waste of the offerings of church members I have ever seen. Not the putting of an image of the American flag on the cover of the church bulletin, which is a colossal waste of expensive red and blue toner. Not the adding of more flags inside the church building than are normally on display (believe it or not, some churches always display more than one flag), as if having one flag wasn’t bad enough. Not the flying of a foreign flag in church, a flag that represents the denial of Christianity. Not the wearing of an American flag lapel pin, or even worse, a cross and flag lapel pin. Not the singing of the Battle Hymn of the Republic, although that is certainly about the most blasphemous thing that could be sung in a church. And not the singing of hymns of worship to the state, although that is blasphemous enough.”

“I am referring to the military blasphemy that takes place, not just on the Sunday closest to the Fourth of July, Flag Day, Armed Forces Day, Veterans Day, Memorial Day, and Patriots Day (Sept. 11), but also on special “military appreciation” days that some churches designate, as if Americans don’t already appreciate the military enough.”

Read more at:   http://www.lewrockwell.com/2014/10/laurence-m-vance/military-blasphemy/

——–

5:20 am

TI “SYMPTOMS”

“We refer to “symptoms” as both “effects” and “control mechanisms”. They have both functions at once.”

See here:   http://targetedindividualseurope.wordpress.com/ti-symptoms/

—–

4:32 am

I think what they’re doing with this artificial telepathy stuff is anti-christ, at its most basic definition.  “Anti” means in-place-of.  They’re mimicking Holy-ghost communication and attempting to rebuild man in their own image.  I suspect trauma-based mind control is responsible for the vast majority of mass-shootings, in America at least.  I recorded everything.  Why did I do that?  Why did I send each and every experience of torture to a man who hated me?  Why does not some Christian brother give me some gas money so my SWORN AND NOTARIZED affidavit can shed some light on some victims.  We are Jesus’ body on earth and he’s fixin’ to change the world.  I’d really like to help him.  You’d like it too.
My government is using us as remote-control LARP characters.  They could move an arm in Eugene, Oregon from Stanford in the sixties!  They’re getting their rocks off and betting on us.  “The great cloud of witnesses” has much enlarged in my lifetime.  Do we let them win?  Or do we stand for our God-given liberty and freedom of will and conscience?  Do we permit them to turn our fellows into killing-machines right before our eyes?  Do we go willingly into the darkness?

—–

3:59 am

EVERYBODY says they wake up at three.  I was already in the habit from praying.

She starts talking about electronic rape at about 8 minutes.  “They’re sadistic.  You’ve got to get your mind around this…it’s just technology.”

Spies Found Torturing People In Homes For Mind Control

Read more at:   http://beforeitsnews.com/alternative/2014/10/spies-found-torturing-people-in-homes-for-mind-control-video-3044170.html

———-

10/13/14

9:45 AM

We must be at some point…anarchists.  There comes a day when what human government wants and what God wants dispense with pleasantries.  This will be shocking, to those just waking up but every so-called Christian probably considered this possibility once or twice.  “The servant is not greater than his master.”  “Choose you this day whom you will serve!”  Lying is not possible, this is a serious heart-issue at this point.  “Ye have not yet resisted to shedding of blood.”  Or have you?

——-

9:42 AM

How to get from “limited government” to anarchism with Larken Rose

——–

9:22 am

A brilliant summation of how the people are duped into supporting their own enslavement. Well laid out and worth passing on to those starting to wake up.  Josie, the Outlaw.

Good Funding Evil – Oppression Confronted

—-

7:20 am

“Any intelligent fool can make things bigger, more complex, and more violent. It takes a touch of genius — and a lot of courage — to move in the opposite direction.” – Albert Einstein

—-

7:04 am

I think there are two kinds of people.  There are people who always try to tear others down; and there are people who always try to build people up.  Goldthorpes are incredible at tearing people down, they look for the worst in everything.  My grandma was a worrier and my grandpa was a narcissist.  His kids got the worst of both worlds.  Their kids are beginning to see a bit of freedom from these generational curses.  Thank God.  Kathy always encourages me, she says, “God didn’t make any crap.”  She’s a builder-upper.  She’s been paying her whole life for one expression of behavior modeled by our forbears.   She’s a girl, I suppose that makes it different?

——

6:53 am

SERMON

“I grew up with winter and winter makes a deep impression on a child.”  “Not that we ever talked, we didn’t do that but we respirated from time to time.”

“He heard the voice of his old dad say, ‘Look out.  A beautiful summer day.  It may turn out badly.  Somebody could drown.  It happens.’”

—–

6:00 am

MUSIC BREAK

Shall We Gather At The River ~ The Hee Haw Gospel Quartet

——

5:19 am

Tomorrow is the wrestler’s birthday.  I’ve got to remember to make him a cake.   I have 1337 likes on my website.  I don’t know why my host chose that number to tell me about it, but it’s over 10% of my posts.  That seems pretty good.  It’s too bad I can’t trust stats.  “You will see my dealings with everything from the issues of the government, to the world market, to nations and even those who will officiate over them. It will also deal with issues concerning the church, throughout the land, and to the market place. It will affect everything and everyone from social groups to those breaking the bread of life in their homes. It will shake and affect individual lives and major decisions within relationships on all levels.”  (Did you hear the voice change there?)  I heard from God this morning and I really needed it.  I didn’t sleep well last night, after weeks of peaceful nights.  It wasn’t anything in particular that bothered me.  I’ve got my bases covered and God’s in control anyway.  But when I hear from a prophet something that I’m also learning, it’s like a long drink of water.  “Iron sharpeneth iron.”  I’m glad God talked to this woman.  (I don’t know her.)  (“Deep calleth unto deep.”)

I REALLY liked this part of Ms. Ford’s (a good Michigan name) prophecy:  “The matters that you questioned up until now you fully understand by the end of this year.”  (That was a confirmation for me and it settled me down.)  Here’s the whole paragraph:   “It is a roar and a high praise that ushers in this hour. It is a time of rejoicing, and a time of assessment. So many will be touched in ways that have never been before. You need to see this as a time that holds great potential for you. Understand that you have not been this way before, but you will look back at this time as one that unlocked and unveiled endless possibilities. Things that have been previously dreamed, prayed for and even seen in the realm of the Spirit will come forth now. Things that you have waited for will take on new life and come forth speedily without reservation. It will mark a time when the hearts of many will be stirred and encouraged. The matters that you questioned up until now you fully understand by the end of this year. Not only will it bring forth great understanding as to why these things occurred but you will also understand why they happened in such specific timing.”    (How could  I possibly bear my father ill will when God talks like that?)
More at:  “Word of the Lord for October 2014”,  here:  

—–

1 Corinthians 2:9-10King James Version (KJV)

 

But as it is written, Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him.

10 But God hath revealed them unto us by his Spirit: for the Spirit searcheth all things, yea, the deep things of God.

10/12/14

2:54 pm

“Most people’s heads are spinning wildly and they’re trying to not think about this assault on their minds, hearts and senses. This is just the environment the manipulators want – an overloaded, stunned and compliant populace, ready to be swayed like limp seaweed in the tide of their polluted propaganda.”

“Almost ironically, and especially in the light of a potential pandemic, many are waiting for some kind of mass extermination event to fulfill the Georgia Guidestones and other elitist declarations to drastically reduce the world’s “cumbersome” population. The fact is it’s already happening, you just don’t see it because it’s on a different long term timeline and mostly being accomplished by carefully planned sterilization.”

 

” People need to wake up in more realistic ways – not just intellectually, but practically, as they continue their fight for truth and awareness. The mesmerization is very deep and delays resultant action and true conscious awareness.”

“Americans have by their silence and energetic and financial support been complicit in the genocide of millions around the globe for decades, as well as the rape of the planet’s resources.”

 

“We’ve seen all of their various potential scenarios detailed for years in the alternative media. There’s no doubt about what they are up to, their plans and intentions, and the various methods at play in the ongoing subjugation of humanity. People are waking up rapidly and that’s wonderful, but we’re about to pass through a phase that needs to be addressed rationally and consciously.”

“They are psychopaths whose bottom line is the famous Samson option – “If we can’t have it, nobody can” – and they’ll gladly bring the house down around everyone’s ears if the situation warrants.”

 

Read more at:   http://www.zengardner.com/now-2/

——-

2:02 pm

MUSIC BREAK

——-

12:54 pm

Materialism is a terrible thing in more ways than one. It’s not just a cloud that seduces human attention into a fascination with objects and desirable states. It is also a force that desensitizes the human emotions. It elevates self interest to an art form. It legitimises the pursuit of personal gain over the well being of one’s fellows.

“There is a force that is resident in Materialism and it has come into power and expression simply because so many human minds are caught up in it. For many, Mammon may just be another word; not for me. I have been in centers of furious commercial enterprise and felt the unclean heat.”

 

Read more at:   http://www.zippittydodah.com/2014/10/the-hideous-bacchanals-of-twisted.html

—–

12:40 pm

“We’re living in a science fiction world, that’s all I can tell you. That’s the clear direction in which my research points. I doubt that we know even one percent of what is going on underground and undersea.”

“We are under a sort of Neo-Fascist system. Anyone who doesn’t recognize that is either in deeply ignorant denial, or willfully sucking hard at the system’s bloody teats, or both.”

 

“Given the nature of contemporary society in the USSA I certainly just described a large number of people.  When the secrecy dam breaks, and I hope that it will, the masses of the people will be astonished at the enormity of what has been hidden from them. “

 

Read more here:   http://eventhorizonchronicle.blogspot.com/2014/10/that-big-methane-release-in-southwest.html

5:07 am

“Can I be a homosexual and follow Christ”?  “Absolutely.  That’s like asking, ‘Can I be a glutton and follow Christ’?  How come homosexuals are the ones who have to give it up immediately?  How come gluttons get to hang on to it for awhile?”   (Kent Mattox)

————————

10/11/14

6:20 pm

Privacy is necessary for freedom.

Glenn Greenwald: Why privacy matters

——–

10:40 am

Can you believe that some people will go for all eternity without ever seeing the face of God!  What a tragedy!  We choose now how we will exist forever.

——

10:31 am

Personal message to my mom:

This is fast approaching the end of time and you claim to be a Christian.  How do you suppose this will end well if you do not do it right?  I remember one time you stuck up for me in my life, when Mike was tormenting me.  I did not know I was being abused until a Baptist man told me.  I stand up for you.  You have been abused by a psychopath for years.  We spent decades trying not to piss him off.  Are you what you are because of him or in spite of him.  Stand up for your abused daughter if you ever hope to see the face of God.

——

10:00 am

People have been saying weird things to me lately, things like “I believe in you, Linda.”  I don’t think it was ever a goal to have people “believe in” me, but I suppose it’s a natural component of the transition.  We’re all transparent, somebody’s got to step under the microscope first.  Open up, tell the truth.  Don’t wait for somebody to tell on you.  This is the real deal.  I’ve been getting out more, a couple times a week even.  I really need some decent clothes so I hope God will decide what size he wants me to be.  I can feel my body firming up again, I love when he does that.  Then he undoes it.  He told me once that he was “youthening” me and I haven’t had arthritis since 2001.  Still, it’s hard to keep myself dressed.  Time is speeding up a lot.  I look forward to going to bed at night and I look forward to getting up in the morning.  I’m happy and I like it here.

—-

You need me, Dad.  You need me so you can make it right and not go to Hell.  You need to give me a lot of money and you need to kiss me on the cheek.  I’m giving you another opportunity.  Give me the years you stole!   Not only do we agree that I love you more than any woman ever has, I might just might be the only woman who ever DID!  You have played peeping Tom to my whole life.   When I was 21 and went to Florida you were there to pick me up at the train.  Set me free.  Whatcha gonna do without magic?  Did you ever think about that?  Pay up.

—–

8:39 am

God should be giving me some money pretty soon I think.  I’m beginning to want a couple things and he always guides my desires.  I don’t know how he’ll give me money, I have no ads on the website except those placed by the host.  My book could sell any time, or he could soften my father’s heart and cause him to distribute the amount of judgement damages any time.  I don’t know how he’s going to do it, but it’s coming.  I have 10,500 articles on the news page that demonstrate how right I’ve been over the years.  My mom and dad know I’ve never lied to them, my work here is done.  I’d like to move on.  The prophet is about to begin building his gypsy wagon and I’d like to watch him and build my own.  I need a sixteen foot trailer.  I also need a lambs’ wool coat.  Blue.

—-

“The servant is worthy of his hire.”  I gave up lots of earning potential to torture and ostracism.  This is gonna be good.  “The last shall be first.”  I am the poorest person I ever met.

8:00 am

7:34 am

The prophet was burned in effigy every summer for about ten years.  His family steals from him.  (My family hasn’t stolen too much physical stuff.  My uncle took a big iron cauldron from my lawn one time.)  People lie to him and rip him off.  He’s going to be VERY rich.  He brought up technology himself, right after I wrote about the non-existent technical opportunities for the human race. We’re on the same page and we validate each other.  We agreed that there is no way out for humanity except by the Spirit, and we discussed refuseniks, the zombies.  What’s going to happen is that he and I will be mobbed by people with their checkbooks open.  I am so grateful that I get to write about the collapse of civilization as we know it.  I’m grateful that soon I’ll record amazing miracles every day, as the new world takes over.  We’re nearly at a tipping point, I think.  Enough people realize that this horrible world is built of the substance of their own blackened souls, and we’re going to manifest a new world.  I’ll no longer call myself a “freedom provocateur.”  I’ll be a “freedom manifestor.”  That’ll be when the poles shift for real.  Smell the freedom!

——

6:38 am

You will have work to do.. places to oversee.. administration.. government.. all very busy.. and decisions will be needed.. from people with character.. people who have gone through the fires and beat them.. and.. people who are wise.. strong.. resilient.. steadfast.. in a word.. overcomers”  (Jesus)

 

“…in the years ahead you will long to die.  You will experience such deep despair, such grief, so much pain. The fires will forge you.  Stronger and stronger you will become with each forging. There will be three times you will attempt to take your life which I will prevent.  Three times you will survive and get up and keep going.  Again, each step closer to the final product.”  “You will die to yourself.  You will die to this world.  You will eventually die out to the “need” of human love, finding it to be untrustworthy and fickle. You will know in the end only MY love is certain, and only I can be counted upon.
And on that day you will walk as a lion – fearless, dead to the world, trusting only in Me, and THAT is the reason I will let you wander – to find out once and for all, as Solomon once did,  that ALL apart FROM Me is vanity.”

4:59 am

I like Sun Tzu but I never understood that part about:  “When weak, feign strength; When strong, feign weakness.”  I’m just telling the truth.  This is so right I don’t even hate myself in the morning.  If I start to question myself God says, “Read what you wrote.  Did you do that?  Is it right?”

—–

4:58 am

“The driving force in the universe is not love, but fear.”  (John B. Watson)  Fear is also the driving force of social engineering in our lifetimes and before.
“It was not bad intelligence that led to the invasion.  It was an orchestrated effort that began before the war, and was meticulously planned to manipulate the public.”  (Colonel Sam Gardiner)  He documented  “fifty false news stories created and leaked by the Bush white house propaganda apparatus prior to and during  the assault on Iraq.  Foremost among these were the lies that led to the war in the first place.”  Therein our government made us FEAR.  They took control of us.  At the apex of fear and love you also meet up with truth and lies.  This is going to be quite a collision.  I never understood NASCAR.  You just drink beer and wait for somebody to get killed.  This one’s gonna be real different.
Fear is a business model and it’s the chosen cattle-prod of my government.  I will no longer be prodded.  You cannot make me afraid of your puny nuclear bombs and your puny you-know-whats.

—–

Update 5:22 am

I just looked up “apex”.  I didn’t know what it meant when I wrote it down.  It’s a CAPSTONE.  Now I have a lot to think about.

4:49 am

MUSIC BREAK

Dylan was VERY prophetic.  We’ll see that now.  What car is he selling?

OH, yeah.  Dedicated to my Dad.  Cold morning this.

——

6:29 pm

I’m being one hundred percent truthful here, the Spirit of Truth is among us.  Look at this guy; he couldn’t help telling the truth if he tried.  I know what that feels like.  Everybody left a trail straight back to the scene of the crime.

‘Reading Stephen Collins’ sexual fantasy books convinced me to take action’: Actor’s ‘molestation victim’ decided to speak out after reading his two novels

  • Victim said that she was shocked into speaking by Stephen Collins novels
  • He is author of two sexualized thrillers: Eye Contact and Double Exposure 
  • Collins allegedly molested victim in Manhattan apartment in 1970s
  • Woman – unnamed – said she first spoke out to his wife in 2000
  • Then repeated her allegations to the police in 2012 

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2788293/stephen-collins-victim-reading-sexual-fantasy-novels-convinced-speak-out.html#ixzz3Fmdw4DOS
Follow us: @MailOnline on Twitter | DailyMail on Facebook

———————–

10/9/14

1:30 pm

“We’ll know our disinformation program is complete when everything the American public believes is false.”

– William Casey, CIA Director 1981

“If the people were to ever find out what we have done, we would be chased down in the streets and lynched.”      (George H W Bush)

“You can fool some of the people all the time, and those are the ones you want to concentrate on.”    (George W Bush)

——————

6:13 am

MUSIC BREAK

——

10/8/14

7:14 pm

Whenever a superior-technology civilization comes in contact with one less technically advanced, the lesser ceases to exist.  This is your basic outer-space-war scenario.  It is also a fact of life for every person on the planet in every area of their lives.  The powers-that-be exceed our technology by twenty years minimum.  They own us and there is no way out through competitive technology or strategy.  The only way out is through the Spirit.  They know this and the principled among us are in the crosshairs of history.  A lot of us have put our careers and our lives on the line to tell you the truth.  This might be worth considering in an active sort of way.

—-

6:57 pm

Whether you choose to acknowledge it or not, they’re playing cops-and-robbers in your head.  I caught them red-handed.  You can listen to me now and get your shit in a row, or not.  We must not be apathetic.  Unless we are.  (It sounded funny on the t-shirt.)  THE BIBLE TOLD US THIS WAS COMING.  God said they would buy and sell men’s souls!  They buy them and they rape them and they sell them for scrap!  Get down.  “It’s REEVERS.” (Serenity)    “Only the penitent man shall pass.”  (Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom)

——-

6:48 pm

People have only prophesied over me a couple times.  When Selvaraj did, I was standing in a prayer line for physical healing.  (I wasn’t lying, everything hurt back then.)  He looked me in the eye and asked, “Are you here for PHYSICAL healing?”  Of course I said yes and he moved on.  Another time an internet prophet said I make God laugh and he thinks the world needs my parenting.  I had it in my Bible that disappeared when I was being gaslighted.  I was an authoritarian parent, my boys would receive an additional blow if they didn’t drop their drawers and lie really still.  My folks were scared of my authoritarianism.  They were afraid when I became too easy going, and when George was growing medicine for people who still can’t find the quality or source stability that he provided and they depend on cannabis to relieve documented ailments.   The constant thing in this house, was and is submission to logic.  I didn’t grow up with that advantage and it wasn’t offered at school.  Speaking logically at school carried a substantial penalty, and it still does.  Teachers are nazis.

—–

6:02 pm

A person took my advice and he passed it on!  I heard it from the passee.  I told him to ask God for a sign.  I told him about how I was told to ask God to wake me at 2 with a song.  I woke up at 1 with a really trashy song.  Then I woke up at two with an angel-choir in my head.  I guess he tried out God!   God gave him a sign, and he told my friend to ask God for a sign too!   And then she got one too!  God is moving.  More fire please.  I am so antsy lately I find it hard to work sixteen hours straight every day.  I need more to do, I need more to think about.

——

5:12 pm

Josh is talking revolution, and good politics.  He’s pro-life because he hates to waste potential.  He says, “Give it some time.  When he’s fourteen you say, ‘You don’t have a girlfriend, you don’t have a job.  We’re gonna take that abortion option now.'”   Lost years, my ass.  He’s been paying attention;  I needn’t have worried.  (I always say that.  Whenever God comes through I ALWAYS say, “I knew he would do it; why did I worry?”   I even tell him that, “I knew you would do it;  I’m sorry I worried.”)   Joshua has ALWAYS been a stubborn little shit.  George took two years teaching him the alphabet.  I showed him how to tell time and taught him the days of the week.  Repeatedly.  I think he might have been trying to get some attention.  (Why didn’t I ever think of that?)

—-

He’s riled at the locals who worship Dubya and think that Obama is the anti-christ.  He says, “They are puppets and it doesn’t matter whose face is on TV. ”  I needn’t have worried.  He’d really, really, really like to live some place with opportunities, and God knows he deserves some opportunity.  I’d like some opportunities too, and an ad in the Newberry News announcing my superseding sanity.  And a blue wool duffle coat with toggles from LL Bean.  There are cheaper ones but I think the blue would look nice with my eyes.  I think I’d like to look nice again.  I think I’d like a facial, I’ve never had one.  I was too busy parenting.

——

7:55 am

I imagine with much longing, that it would be easier to follow Christ among people who also follow. Easy is not God’s way.  The training is arduous and heart-breaking because the stakes are so high.  All CREATION is crying out for God’s sons to be revealed!  (Mature saints.  “Son” has several meanings in the original Bible languages.)  Jesus is pining for his bride.  The saints in Heaven want to see that their labors have not been in vain.  They’re eager to give us a high-five and swap stories.  This won’t happen until people change.  Self-indulgence is like wearing cement boots.  God changes us through suffering.
Humans do not ever expect other humans to change. (If they did it would mess with expectations… and would require a corresponding change in the observer!)  Even children are expected to be and behave as they have done in the past; this yet, as caregivers suffer sleepless nights and employ behavior modification techniques to change them.  Nobody ever expects anybody to change.  The rare person who does change is castigated and maligned.  Christians are supposed to change continually.  They are to become more Christlike and less selfish. Christ wants to instruct behavior minute by minute and this is incomprehensible to non-Christians. (And self-satisfied church-goers.)   “But we all, with open face beholding as in a glass the glory of the Lord, are changed into the same image from glory to glory, even as by the Spirit of the Lord.”  (II Corinthians 3:18)
Change has always been a personal goal, and my own reality.  My opinion of myself was informed by criticism and mislabeling so it was easy for me to believe I had to change, and I’ve done so many times.  I’m grateful for my family who never allowed me to think well of myself.  I have habitually asked for God to change me and the practice paid off, and established a trajectory that allowed me to survive torture.  I was whiny and self-pitying at first.  Now I am strong and determined that others be spared.  I believe there are very few who could survive what I’ve experienced and CERTAINLY not without Jesus.  l’m grateful for torture because it is making me like Jesus.  “For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us.”  (Romans 8:18)
It’s pretty funny that people who change are deemed to suffer a mental defect.  Staying-the-same is the most perverted of all defects.  It’s death on the hoof!  Those who view change in others with skepticism and ridicule…are just as good as dead.  Why bother?  Is that next hot fudge sundae going to be better than all the others you ate?  Is this next shopping trip going to fulfill you?  Will you FINALLY see enough glitter that you’re satisfied?  Psychosis.  They should make a pill for that.
I was in very bad circumstances and I learned:  “God’s not going to change the circumstances, until he changes you.”  (Neville Johnson)  God wants us to see him in everything in our lives, and to believe him, rather than the circumstances.  He uses circumstances and discouraging companions to guide us to where we should be in the physical realm, but mostly he uses them to make us like him.  If you ask to be made like him, he will put you with people you do not like.  If you beg like I have, he will put you with people who do not like you. “Beloved, think it not strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened unto you: But rejoice, inasmuch as ye are partakers of Christ’s sufferings; that, when his glory shall be revealed, ye may be glad also with exceeding joy.”  (I Peter 4:12-13)
My parents have watched me change many times as I’ve watched them grow more rigid.  I eat whatever God says and lost half my body weight.  They struggle to abstain from chocolate.  My handwriting was indecipherable all my life.  God gave me the ability to write legibly… even with my left hand!   I  learned that cherished doctrines were absolutely false and necessitated  MUCH change.  I was homebound when God said that’s where I should be, and I’ve slept in my car when that’s what he wanted.  My forays into public life were at his word and in his time. It’s not easy to change, but it’s always been for my betterment and increased usefulness.  That my changes make my parents fearful is a serious problem…for them.
 “If I had not done among them the works which none other man did, they had not had sin: but now have they both seen and hated both me and my Father.”  (John 15:24)

—-

10/7/14

10:44 am

“These are the kind of people, en masse, who if you point out to them that they are killing themselves, they will snarl at you. They will refuse to hear you. They are like 9 year olds with their fingers in their ears going, “nyaah yah, I can’t hear you.” These are people whose fear of being seen as different while at the same time striving to appear different, is strong enough for them to engage in survival tactics against you when you are only trying to help them.”      (Les Visible)

——-

9:25 am

“One common thread runs through the many different stories of denial,” writes Stanley Cohen in States of Denial. “People, organisations, governments or whole societies are presented with information that is too disturbing, threatening or anomalous to be fully absorbed or openly acknowledged. The information is therefore somehow repressed, disavowed, pushed aside or reinterpreted. Or else the information ‘registers’ well enough, but its implications – cognitive, emotional or moral – are evaded, neutralised or rationalised away.”

—–

10/6/14

6:31 pm

Settlement negotiations: a Ditz-Free-Zone

UPDATE

Dad gave me 800 dollars and Mom gave me one hundred.  They gave Josh a job and a car.  They gave us a bag of apples and took Josh out to dinner.  They refused multiple times to buy him a passport.  And coffee beans.  My mom gave me coffee beans.

Belva bought George a new car and sent Isaac 1,000 dollars.

————————

HUMOR BREAK

This is priceless.  Let freedom ring!

5:25 pm

“Yes, other countries have unhealthy food. Foreigners might eat deep-fried Mars bars as a novelty, or overstuff themselves in breakfast-eating contests. But those populations don’t unashamedly, publicly glorify this stuff in their everyday eating lives. Instead, they behave like normal people and eat their whole-sticks-of-butter-dipped-in-Nutella at home. Alone. While crying.”

“Americans, on the other hand, waltz into public spaces and order Meat Mountains orKrispy Kreme cheeseburgers in front of every damn person there, without so much as an embarrassed glance around them or some nervous vomiting. It’s disgusting. It’s irresponsible. It’s glorious.”

“Why Is It Like That?”

“I think it’s partly about good old American freedom. The more health-food activists andMichael Bloomberg fight against America’s 20,000-calorie meals and instruct everyone to eat lettuce-wrapped carrot sticks instead of pizza crusts made out of cheeseburgers, the more Americans do the opposite, just out of spite.”

Dynamic Graphics/Creatas
“Restrict soda sizes? That’s it, now I’m going to go eat a whole cat. Just a whole fucking cat.”

“Take the Nevada burger restaurant called the Heart Attack Grill. The owner is constantly running gimmicks to convince you that you shouldn’t eat his restaurant’s unhealthy meals, serving up dishes like the “Triple Bypass Burger” and offering free meals to anyone over 350 pounds. I’m sure you could write a book about the psychology of running a business while also claiming your food will kill your customers, but one thing’s for sure: his customers love it. Two unofficial spokesmen for the restaurant have already dropped dead, one of them at age 29, and at least two patrons have collapsed at the restaurant while consuming fare like the Heart Attack Grill’s 10,000-calorie burger. Because fuck you, guy who’s advising me not to eat his food because it will kill me! You can’t tell me what to do.”

Read more: http://www.cracked.com/blog/4-things-foreigners-will-never-understand-about-america_p2/#ixzz3FOzHl2uE

—–

6:56 am

“We’re in a warfare, any way you look at it. Only it’s not a warfare of hate, but of love. It’s not a warfare of physical violence, but a spiritual one of intention and a Truth directed life. The inherent cause and effect of Universal consciousness is the dissolution of the ways born of ignorance and darkness by means of the all powerful exposing and enlightening weapons of Light, Love and Truth.”

(Jesus is Light, Love and Truth.)

Awakened Warriors Arise

 

Read more at:   http://www.zengardner.com/awakened-warriors-arise/

——-

6:11 am

MUSIC BREAK

Sometimes I sing this to the whole world.  Usually I’m facing south.

6:02 am

“Lord, I ask again, if I have done anything unkind or in any way sinful to any person in my family, please show me so I can repent honestly.  I’ve been recording my life as you instructed, since 2009 when my dad began lying about me.  I still have no family and few friends.  Nevertheless, thy will be done.”

——-

10/5/14

10:39 am

When False Flags Don’t Fly

It’s a dangerous delusion to believe we are somehow exempt from the SAME MACHINATIONS that steered all societies before ours.

Psychopaths lie,psychopath-led organizations lie and governments ALWAYS lie.

—-

9:26 am

“Victorious warriors win first and then go to war, while defeated warriors go to war first and then seek to win.”  (Sun Tzu)

—–

8:16 am

Bump to the top, from 10/29/13

My confession:
I just committed my very first act of vandalism.  (I spray-painted the snow outside my dad’s office last winter demanding TRUTH but it dissipated, so I don’t think that counts.)
I NAILED a sign to the door of Lakefield Baptist Church, it reads:
“YOU LIED.  YOU REFUSE TO TALK TO ME.  Don’t like the nail?  Google:  Martin Luther.  Linda.  906-291-1376″
COPS–I have spackle and paint and will make restitution if you think it is ok for a “church” to destroy lives, reputations and families…without evidence.  My number is  906-291-1376

8:09 am

——–

8:09 am

Bump to the top from October 26, 2013
From “Thatrandomcandidate.com–Prayers”

“Lord, I have this dilemma with my parents.  They treat me like a child, and always have.  They refuse to talk to me about even their schemes in my own life. They called me names and accused me of murder.  They NEVER HAD THE BALLS TO TALK TO ME ABOUT ANYTHING IN MY LIFE!  My dilemma is this:  How can I demonstrate your love to people who refuse to see me?  I do what you say, I’ve gotten past the point where I expect any response at all, so thank you that I’m no longer scared.  I have annoyed them so much!  They WILL NOT TALK TO ME and still talk about me behind my back.”

“I ask you Lord, again, to please burn through my parents’  walls of fear and shame so they can become everything you planned for them since before time began.  Burn off every callous of bigotry and prejudice.  Destroy their foundations of status and wealth.  Burn, with hotter fire.  Fires are catching everywhere, in industry, and science and government.  Your Spirit of Truth will burn every lie!  Please, first burn my parents with your love, so they will not be consumed.  I submit them to you again, and I submit the entire state of Michigan and my country.  Burn all that is not truth.  Thank you for allowing me to record it.  I‘m eager for the day when I‘ll talk about your politics with somebody conscious, and be finished teaching ‘remedial Christianity.’”

—-

7:32 am

Bump to the top, I sent the part about my dad to him.  (I sent him many love letters.)  From three years ago this week.

My father read my book and I thought he was going to tell the truth.  When he realized I didn’t know all that he’d done, the gangstalking began in earnest, and the cars and the motorcycles going the wrong way towards me with lights as big as a wading pool.  Then he took my house and said lots of things (when other people were not around) that I recorded.  Excerpts from my second book:

“I’ve been trying to listen to a tape Growmaster made.  He wrote on the case, “Shit my dad did.”  It’s taken me weeks to get through the shit his dad did.  They lived really far in the woods, and when Dad left for the day, they were completely isolated.  I had a hard time with the story of how their father held them by their ankles outside a second-floor window.  (This was not a fit of passion.  He held each of them, in turn.)  When a gunshot went through the bed, I turned off the tape-recorder. The bullet passed through a wall and a dresser on the other side.  (Growmaster’s sisters were in that room.)   He remembers going to school for a couple years, here and there.  Growmaster still takes his baby to visit the old man.  It’s 100 miles, one-way.  I get to see that baby too, tomorrow.”

—-

“My dad apologized last night.  He said he was sorry he’d been a “bad dad” and that you don’t get to have your babies over again.  I told him that I’d like to be his friend.  He said I was “scary”.  Whatever.  He’s said that before.  One time I asked him, “Why can’t you just let me love you like I want to?”  He said, “It’s scary”.   It was scary for me every time he woke me from the bedroom door, pitching a shoe at my head, so I guess we’re even. “
—-
“He made three trips bearing leftovers from a Halloween party.  He brought huge tubs of ice cream and 1/2 gallon of hot fudge.  I was so amazed at his second trip, that I cracked a joke looking around for hot dogs in his car.  He went back and got some. (Maybe he even stopped to buy some, they didn’t look like a commercial package.)  My dad does things like that.”
—–
“He’s always the first one at an accident, and he saves people’s lives.  He’s the most generous person I know, other than George and Isaac I guess.  He loved his mother very much and every year gave her roses, on his birthday.  The best presents ever, he takes people places all the time.  He researches cool things. (If he and Isaac ever got to spend much time together, they could teach each other a thing or two.) “
—-
“Isaac reports amazing smart things that Wonderful tells him.  It surprises him how many principles of business stewardship I already understand.  Wonderful knows I do.  I listened to my dad, even though he wasn’t talking to me.”
—–
“My dad was not a bad dad.  My dad was a lonely dad, and it made me lonely too.  I always wished he would yell. He wouldn’t slam a door, he closed  them with static precision that stole my air.  He’d walk very softly, still does, as though he must defend each footstep.  I’ve seen him bite the nipple from an exquisite European truffle and throw the rest out the window.  To prove he was in control.  (Sometimes chocolate calls him.  He told me that.)  It’s a hard way to live.”
—-
“We were watching family videos the other day.  I wanted my babies to be perfect.  I had waited a long time and was jaw-set to do things right. (I cried in a Big Boy parking lot because my mother commented on how much food we got on the floor.)  This video though, was gorgeous boy-baby, lying on his back and refusing to perform.   My hands were in his face the whole time.  I was tapping his cheeks and demanding:  Smile!  Smile!   I was just like my dad. “

—————————————————————————————

“I just charged thirty dollars worth of books to my son’s credit card.  We share passwords.  The Younger however, says I’m a buzz-killer, and he doesn’t even get high.  I don’t know how to connect with this person so different than myself.  He’s genius.  He’s brawn and brains.  When the boys were little, my son would take me aside to ask why the Younger was smarter than the rest of us.  We all recognize this today, but I can’t ever hardly hear him.  This is a unique situation for me, I hear unspoken things, all the time.  I hear strangers who can’t talk.  I want to hear him.  I’m somewhat fearful of what it will take.  He writes poetry.  He’s dreamy.”
—–
“The atheist has no ground to seek.  There is no cover.  It’s apparent.  He has no pictography for success.  He can’t visualize “win”.  Even if he “wins” he’ll never know if his victory is secure.  He won’t live to see it.  Pity.  Pain.  Why bother?  If I drew my final breath this moment, I’d still win.  There’s minimal pleasure in that knowledge.  Does Jesus feel like this when he considers atheists?  He loves them so much.”

—-

6:54  am

OK, it’s obvious none of you fine people care enough to help a sister who has been “spitefully used” and CONTINUED TO PRAY FOR EVERY ONE OF YOU AND THE GOONS EVEN!

Would you speak, for an entire population subject to soul-theft?  One name from my dad and I could change your children’s world.  (And yours.  You obviously care nothing about your children.)

“Most paranoid schizophrenics believe they’re being watched and it drives them crazy. I know I’m being watched and could care less.”

 

“Chances are that some of you reading this are being Government gang stalked. There is so much going on with this story that I could never do it justice in a few short articles.  Government gang stalking is different than all other gang stalking because it represents the ultimate betrayal to not only the victims, but to the country itself. It isn’t only tyranny in the classic sense, it’s also traitorous. It means that in many cases those who have taken an oath to defend our constitutional rights have violated that oath. You have for some reason without due process been declared an “Enemy of the State.”

 

Above left: Image from the Mini Z handheld backscatter X-ray. The same type used in airports and border checkpoints but can be aimed unsuspectingly and can cause cancer if used improperly. Right: Handheld V2K device for direct voice to skull communication.

 

“OK so moving on there was the street theatre and that’s where strangers put on a show for you. They start to talk about things that they know will relate to you personally and these are called triggers.”

 

“Every time I would run into him, the same song would play on the radio of my car or any car we were in. One day before I started my car I told him the song that was going to play on the radio. Sure enough, he said: “How did you know that?” and I said: “Because it’s always the same song every time I run into you.” He said: “Yeah, but it was the first song. Not like the third song it was the first song.” I said, “That’s because I’m being watched.”

“A case just ruled in favor of Kathleen Watterson, Joshua Tree, CA. was proved by her hiring her own investigative expert. He proved that she was being bombarded with microwaves from a stalkers satellite dish aimed at her house from next door by bringing in test equipment and testing over the period of about 2 months. This means it can be done on your own.”

 

“The last time I told you about the silent kill and how it referred to having the target commit suicide. There is another method of silent kill and this is done using high tech wave weaponry.”

 

 

Read more at:   http://beforeitsnews.com/conspiracy-theories/2014/10/gang-stalking-part-3-techniques-tactics-and-technology-2465588.html

—–

10/4/14

4:51 am

Bump to the top, from 9/5

This is a revelation:  My existence has been held in a whirlpool between my parents’ simultaneous needs to 1)  see me fail, and 2) support their own reputations with every gamete they ever excreted.  Wow.  I think that’s too much responsibility for me.

——

10/3/14

8:44 pm

Bump to the top, from January 8.

Isn’t it funny that if you’re given money, you’re just as proud of it?  OK, here’s what we’ll do when I’m in charge of the family:  Kathy comes out of hibernation immediately.  We females will spend a lot of time with her laughing at her bluntly astute observations of ourselves.  Jeanie will be given a piece of property on Round Lake as large as JD’s.  (We’ll talk about her house later.)  One of us will sit with Stacy and ask every single question that was never asked when she was herded into allopathic medicine.  Lauren will smile, and we will all smile back at her radiance.  My mother’s opinion will be heard.  Her programmed bigotry will not.  We will love one another.  Donna is not my business.  Megan was the most beloved child this family ever saw.  She assumes we were all loved.  She is still beloved.  JD and I should talk for a hundred hours and bat tennis balls around.  David must grow up.  Our parents should be more free with their checkbooks and less free with their mouths.  My sister has impressed enough already and we love her more than we can say.  (I know I’m speaking for the family.)  We must share what we have and listen to one another every day.  This is not optional.  We’re facing circumstances we’ve never considered.  If we have love we will survive.  If we have psychopathic leadership we are prey for bigger psychopaths.  Zombie wars is upon us and I love you all.  This is the first time in my life that I’ve been happy.  Thank you for permitting it.
———-
Family bickering will cease when family-bullying stops.  If you got a problem with somebody else, that’s your problem.  We’re all adults and we will act like it.  Step-families are FAMILY.  Get over yourselves.  Like my dad used to say, “Are there people you’d rather than them?”   If you gotta have a step-family at least you know they’re decent people.  For now.  The NSA will clear this up and we’ll deal with it then.  Billie Jo will be treated with respect.  Ian and Dylan and Justin and Megan and Isaac and Joshua and Lauren and Kayla and Tim and Stacy and Drewbie and Morgan and Dane and the other Dane if he gives a hoot and other young Goldthorpes I may not know about…shall come to my house with sleeping bags.  We’ll get grubby and eat coney dogs and brownies.  We’ll talk about what hurts us and we’ll try to make one another better.  For a time, we’ll succeed and that will give us hope that we can become awesome.  We’ll think of one another first, when we consider an action.  We’ll not do the selfish, psychopathic thing.  We will do the right thing.

—-

Bump to the top, I wrote this on February 22.  Hasn’t this year gone fast?

“When Yertle the turtle-man fell on his ass,
The neighbors all whispered, “I thought he had class!”
They smile when they see him, they nod and they grin,
I don’t find it humorous, I once was him.
Yertle don’t like me, I never knew why,
Try though I might, he would not let me fly.
It’s never about me,  it always was him,
His days are accomplished, ‘cuz  that was a sin.
Yertle told reptiles how to behave,
He sneered at their misery, “So goes the slave.”
“They crawl on their abdomens,  up to my throne.”
“I’ll not waste my bounty on them that’s their own.”
He tested and chose us and perish the rest,
His notions are quaint but he said, “I’m the best!”
Destroying my life put a zing in his own,
(The turtle-pond always was his killing zone.)
Yertle, the turtle, is sad now to see,
But I’m breathing deeply, I’m glad it’s not me.
We’re all  super turtles!  We’re better than him!
When this is all over, we’ll be happy kin.
Yertle will pay me ‘cuz  he owes me lots,
When he gets my Seuss-rhyme I hope he won’t plotz.”

——-

8:12 pm

“Zionism”.  It shouldn’t surprise us that the name of the whore would so nearly mimic that of the true bride.  Satan cannot create; that’s why he has to co-opt what we have.  He’s consumed with being what we are…the image of God.  He gets what he needs for his experiments.  We live in an organized sex cult hamburger factory.  We gladly proffer our DNA, by way of willing violation and child sacrifice.  He’s got us slung against a wall stained with blood of those cold, who “knew not God”  before we did not.  It’s a slaughterhouse and we’re next.  The air is most foul in this place and we chose it for ourselves.  We see every tear-streaked face that prayed for justice…or even mercy.  We hear our own voices accuse us of yesterday’s shames; everybody’s listening.  (It really doesn’t matter because our shames are already displayed in our transparent souls.)  If this happened in America, rude people would point and laugh.  There won’t be any laughing in the spirit realm though; spirits respect my God.

7:24 pm

I had company for dinner, and it was very nice because my parents are treating Josh to his birthday dinner tonight and I would have been alone.  I butterflied a pork tenderloin and it marinated for two days in peanut butter, coconut milk, lime juice and garlic.  Dark brown sugar and lots of coriander.  It was nice not to eat it alone, and it was a surprise.  My guest was a high school senior who sees through the bars.  She had a run-in with the band teacher today.  Also another boy told her if she didn’t want to get laid he didn’t want to know her.  The world is heartless to these kids.  Here’s what she said to the bandteacher who reprimanded her after she suggested that if the trumpets would play quieter, the other parts could be heard.  He didn’t like that, and neither did the brass section.  I guess it got ugly:  “I am your first flute.  You send me to the office and I ain’t comin’ back.”  (I remember the times I took on a teacher!  One superintendent retired early rather than get a divorce.  His wife still teaches there, I guess.  A Baptist principal refused to let Isaac enter the cooking contest because it was just for girls!  He didn’t care that Jesus cooked fish for people!  Rules, dogma, lies!  I have protected my children from many of those unnecessary evils.)
I’ve been thinking more, about this stand-off with Dad.  He’s being harmed, each minute we delay settling this matter to the satisfaction of everybody involved.  It occurred to me, that had I been born with a different set of gonads, I would now be the most powerful person in my rock-a-billy world.  I WOULD BE…drum roll…the OLDEST MALE GRANDCHILD!  Now a solution to our dilemma might be if Dad, David, me and the boys, all go do a testosterone drop?  We can measure it.  They make an app for that.  Maybe I’m one of those people who never finds out she’s a boy until she’s had three kids!  I read about them, in the English papers.
Here’s what my guest told the maestro:  “I have shown you nothing but respect, even though I have none for you.  I think it’s a pretty pleasant thing to do,  to behave respectfully, when I don’t have any respect.  It is pretty hard to respect somebody who is your teacher, who is not a teacher.  The reason we are not a good band is because we practice twenty minutes, four days a week.  If you will  not behave as a teacher, you could at least start class TEN minutes after the bell rings, and act like you want us to be good.”   She said, “I’m sorry I called that kid a dumbass but he has called me a bitch and fat, and he is a fucking retard.  Take control. ”  The teacher apologized and so did she.  (Weren’t they acting real grown-up?)  I read her the piece about family “scapegoats”.  She’s trying her best.  False responsibility is hard to overcome.  Especially when the “role models” are morons.

—–

2:09 pm

“The narcissist attacks separateness in everyone with whom he must have a relationship. Either they fit into his ego-supporting mold or they are extruded from his life. Narcissistic rage and aggression are based on fear. His entitlement to absolute control over others must go unchallenged.”    (Dr. Elan Golomb)

—-

12:11 pm

“This scapegoat will ultimately be made to carry the lion’s share of the family’s blame, shame, anger, and rejection so the rest can more easily retain their patterns of dysfunction. This child will always and forever be the one who is not good enough, even when he or she excels at something — indeed, especially when he or she excels. This child will endure more put-downs, sideways remarks and behind-the-back betrayals than the rest of the family put together. This child will endure the wear and tear of the family’s dysfunction in a way that will enable the others to continue looking good despite the family’s toxicity.”
“For defenseless children made to play scapegoat, the burdens of being labeled “bad” no matter what they do are heavy. The scapegoat soon learns he or she cannot win; there is no sense struggling to improve the family’s opinion of them, because that simply cannot be allowed to occur.”
“In fact, commonly, the more the scapegoat behaves and performs well, the more severely he or she is oppressed, because doing well threatens the parent’s labeling of the child as bad.”
“Many scapegoats have reported that the only time they felt their parent supported them (if at all) was when the supportive act fostered and reinforced the scapegoat’s inferiority, dysfunction or weakness.”
“The degree to which they are able to realize that they are mistreated not because they are inherently inferior, but because they are sending messages of vulnerability, is the degree to which they will determine the quality of their future.”  

—-

11:50 am

“A family is a tyranny ruled over by its weakest member.”  (George Bernard Shaw)

—–

11:03 am

“Let’s look a little closer at the Mob Family. The primary focus is its hierarchy. There is a pecking order. Think animal kingdom here. There is a hierarchy not just of authority but of basic worth of each individual. The higher up the ladder of hierarchy the more your apparent personal worth. The one at the top is of greatest worth. Therefore all energies and resources are first diverted to the top with the goodies trickling downward. The one on the bottom rung gets the crumbs. Every individual becomes a tyrant of the one or ones below them. Every individual is a sycophant and servant of the one or ones above. This system only rewards selfishness.”
“Truth is not welcome if it contradicts the demands or wishes of the tyrant. This usually leads to the downfall of the tyrant at some point though it may take decades for it to occur. The sycophants learn to tell pretty lies in order to keep the precarious peace and to calm the obsessive paranoia of the top dog. Because truth is not valued true freedom vanishes. Without truth or freedom, integrity to objective principle doesn’t exist. Accountability is to personality not to morality. Break the “code of conduct” of the tyrant above you and suffer punishment that never matches the crime. Disproportionate response is what is dished out because fear is what keeps the members in line.”

“If you couldn’t tell already the Mob Family model is the one in which the narcissist thrives.”

“For you Christian readers: consider the two family structures I’ve outlined in this way…one is based on God-given and heavenly principles (i.e. love-based) and the other on Satanic or evil (i.e. selfish, narcissistic) principles. Christ demonstrated by His death that willingness to adhere to truth and love-based principles means being willing to stand true to these principles even if it means letting go of life itself because life can not continue to exist in the absence of these truths.”
“If the dynamics of your family of origin more resemble the Mob Family model you are going to have to recognize the Mob Family will never become the Healthy Family as long as the narcissist is allowed by other family members to maintain his tyrannical rule over them. If you decide to keep the Mob Boss, i.e., the narcissist, in your family then you are deciding to maintain the structure of the Mob Family. You have the right and even the obligation before God and your fellow human beings to fight for the Healthy Family.”
“The moment you decide to not play by the rules of the Mob Family someone is going to take a “contract” out on your head. You are in a war whether or not you are willing to admit it. The Mob Family can not tolerate someone who decides to get out.”
“If you don’t have more determination than the narcissist does, then you may as well just roll over now and offer up your tender underbelly.”
“Having the mindset that you are no longer going to play by any of the narcissist/Mob family rules ever again is the only way to successfully engage in this war.”
“If you want something better…it’ll require you armor up and engage in moral warfare. The narcissist refuses to live in the Healthy Family. So you have decide which you want more. You can’t have both.”

——

8:40 am

My mom taught me this years ago.  (Of course she was talking about somebody else’s family…)

“Dysfunctional families don’t allow people to be their authentic selves. They dance around their shame, denials and addictions, working to keep everyone in their assigned dysfunctional roles — like it or not.”

There are four basic roles in the dysfunctional family:

.

The Golden Child/Hero

The golden child is the one who “can do no wrong”. This child is viewed as being the best and the brightest; even if they’re not.
.

 

The Scapegoat

The scapegoat is the child who can “do no right”. This child is viewed as being the reason for everything undesirable and bad, even when they excel.

Some scapegoats enter into the trap of trying harder and harder to redeem themselves in the eyes of their family so they can finally be respected and appreciated for who they really are. They can never be good enough, and will burn themselves out trying to get a pat on the back. Other scapegoats succumb to the role of “bad one” and make waves, because they’re always labeled bad regardless, so they give up trying and rebel in anger.

Many scapegoats spend much of their adult lives still trying to be accepted and appreciated by constantly doing more, giving more and trying more. Other scapegoats spark lots of conflict and difficulties. Scapegoats typically wake up later in life and and realize things aren’t as they should be when their constant efforts to gain respect backfire and get them walked all over at work and at home (or when they get themselves into one too many conflicts pertaining to their adoption of a “who cares” attitude).

(Some sources claim the scapegoat is “the bad seed”, and others say the scapegoat is the healthiest member of the family.)
.

The Lost Child

The Lost Child is the child who withdraws in self-preservation. Ignored and invisible, this child experiences loneliness and a feeling of not belonging.

.

More Here: http://lightshouse.org/lights-blog/the-four-dysfunctional-family-roles#ixzz3F5JOinCS

—————————————————————————–

7:14 am

The Silent Partner and the Silent Majority

The Silent Partner is any relative who stands by silently while you are victimized, or who takes the abuser’s side against the victim. She, or he, can be the other parent, who abdicates from parental responsibility to protect the children, or worse; sacrifices their well-being in order to make her/his own life easier.”

“While encouraging an abuser to operate freely in their midst, they will not be silent when it comes to criticizing the victim. They will look the other way when the victim is being mistreated, never validating her or defending her, and then attack her when she defends herself. The one that they gossip about, smear to others, judge, and condemn will invariably be the victim rather than the abuser. In their sick, evil, twisted minds, it is the long-suffering victim who is the family “trouble-maker”, never the abuser himself.”

Read more at:   http://salemwitchhunt.wordpress.com/2013/01/02/the-silent-partner-and-the-silent-majority/

In many instances they are far from silent. Although they might be silent about the actual abuse inflicted upon us, they can be quite vehement in insisting that the victim is wrong for not continuing to accept it.

6:56 am

chainrule

A manipulative narcissistic bully is likely to have the support of a protection racket.

The participants; his friends, family, colleagues, or any other people in his proximity who are amenable to his persuasive powers, are the enablers who minimize or make up excuses for his bad behavior. They will side with the bully when he abuses you, and if you complain about the mistreatment, they will berate you and give you the blame. When the narcissist wants to get rid of you, his followers, too, will shun you.

chainrule

—-

6:39 am

I’m “mentally unstable”
for objecting to your abuse?!

SDivider12

Sociopaths enjoy playing this game. They provoke their chosen target for a reaction, then claim it as evidence of mental instability, evil-mindedness, or something else that implies it is the victim who is at fault. While diverting all attention away from his own behavior, the bully seeks support from others, turning them against his target. It can be devastating for someone already suffering from mistreatment to also be blamed, slandered, rejected, and isolated. The abuser enjoys the sense of power and control he derives from tormenting with impunity, and the positive attention he gets from playing the victim and fishing for sympathy. It is also an effective method of intimidating his target from speaking up and exposing the abuser.

shescrazy

—-

5:56 am

MUSIC BREAK

“There are three kinds of people in the world:  1) those who are told not to ask questions so they stop, 2) those who are told not to ask questions, yet they persist, and 3) THOSE WHO TELL US TO STOP ASKING QUESTIONS!”  (James Corbett)

—–

10/2/14

7:25 am

PAYMENT DISCLOSURE

RATTIN, CHRISTINE

—–
  • PAYMENT DISCLOSURE

Christine Rattin

—-
PAYMENT DISCLOSURE

RATTIN, CHRISTINE

—-
PAYMENT DISCLOSURE

RATTIN, CHRISTINE

“Others say the information should carry less weight. They say the amount of money a doctor receives is less important than personal recommendations and the doctor’s training and experience.”

What We’re Learning About Drug Company Payments to Doctors

———

5:19 am

MUSIC BREAK

(I just changed the song, I don’t usually change anything.  I wonder what that means?)

I don’t usually do fortune cookies; when I was a Baptist I refused to dabble in “spiritism” or predictions of any kind.  (I was a VERY GOOD Baptist.)  Later, I  figured if God had something to say to me he could just say it without needing a cookie.  Josh and Kevin made me open mine last night:  “You have a charming way with words and should write a book.”  I kid you not.  Three years ago, probably to this very week, my book appeared for sale on Amazon.  I would this day, swear to every published word before a court of men or the throne of God.  I wrote that book mid-transition.  My terms are no longer naive, and describe the same complaint I also recorded in two years-worth of journals, previously sworn.  I HAVE written three other books, and I’d love to organize them.  I am bound to this blog, to my truth-quest, and to seeing my father mitigate his damages.  “One day when Heaven was filled with his praises, one day when sin was as black as could be, Jesus came forth to be born of a virgin, dwelt amongst men, my example is he…Living he loved me, dying he saved me, buried he carried my sins far away!  Rising he JUSTIFIED freely forever!  One day he’s coming…Oh, glorious day!”

—-

4:46 am

I’ve been reading wonderful things lately.  People are saying righteous things, and they’re saying them with raw bravery.  Many of us have thought these things for decades, and now I’m reading observations that take my breath away.  This piece is over-the-top but it glows with truth.  He makes a number of points at once.

—-

“Common sense tells us that these fucking, lying emperors that occupy the White House are wearing no clothes. And you and I know damn well that for the last fifty years not one of them has been wearing any clothes since they murdered John F. Kennedy.  If they are not wearing any clothes, what does common sense tell you to do? Common sense says, ‘They should be arrested for indecent exposure! ‘”

——

4:05 am

I was out until 10 last night!

I’ve paid for a lot of events I never got to attend.  I’ve made hotel reservations for places I never got to go.  I even bought a visa for India.  Customs in Canada used to make me explain about how God never gave me the money on time.  All my life I’ve been watching the travel channel, and I always figured eventually I’d be those places.  I figure God gives you the desires of your heart, then he fulfills them.  (When he showed me the “desire of my heart” I thought it was pretty shallow.)   I knew that God knew how badly I wanted to go places.  He just kept saying, “wait.”  Isaac is learning what it’s like when all your plans don’t go perfectly.  He’s praying every day, so I’m not worried.  He paid for a seat at a conference in Utah in September, but he didn’t have the money to go.  I think that’s his first.  He’s always had enough money to do whatever he wanted.  He made so much money when he was 14 that I ran for Congress on it.  That’s another thing God could fix any day now.  I took ALL his money, and YEARS of his young life, obeying God.  Then four more years got devoted to torture-and-truth-quest.  I owe him bigtime and I’ve been talking to God about this for a long time.  God will restore.  He will reward Isaac for his selfless service to humanity.   (That’s actually how he views it.  Since politics, both Isaac and I have felt without purpose.)   Except for that, GOD GAVE ME A PURPOSE and he’ll do it for Isaac too.  I know this in my heart, and he will reward Isaac with LOTS OF MONEY.  (Hopefully not before he learns how the other half lives.)  (I think I’ve learned that lesson.)   I learned so many lessons!  I learned lessons that I could not have learned otherwise.   Isaac and Josh lost faith in God watching me be tormented.  I attributed my predicament to a God I choose to continue trusting to be good, and to love me.  God is REALLY on the spot.  (He says he’s never late.)  My children will see the love of God pour over me in torrents of joy and power.  They will know that JESUS IS GOD.  I’ve been waiting for this for a long time.  Josh and I are going to the Soo to finally have his passport photo taken.  He’s an adult now.

—–

10/1/14

2:39 pm

“Close-minded, distracted, uninformed, ignorant, too-busy, overly obedient, uber-patriotic, addicted, co-opted or intensely conservative people may not have the time, inclination, intelligence or political will (or courage) to look at the available new evidence that runs contrary to their old, ingrained beliefs. Therefore they may unconsciously or reflexively reject the new information, even if the evidence is overwhelmingly and provably true.”  (Dr. Gary Kohls)

—–

2:03 pm

“One of the saddest lessons of history is this: If we’ve been bamboozled long enough, we tend to reject any evidence of the bamboozle. We’re no longer interested in finding out the truth. The bamboozle has captured us. It’s simply too painful to acknowledge, even to ourselves, that we’ve been taken. Once you give a charlatan power over you, you almost never get it back.” – Carl Sagan


“What good fortune for those in power that the people do not think.”– Adolf Hitler

—–

9/30/14

6:50 pm

9/30/14

6:46 pm

I TOLD YOU for two years that the Spirit of Truth was coming.  I said, repeatedly, “Everybody is going to have to 1) lie, or 2) admit they lied before.”   Man’s world is coming down

State Actors That Staged 9/11 Terrorist Attacks Disclosed, Plot Revealed, Justice Inevitable

“After thirteen long years of one revelation after another, it has now been established that the 9/11 terrorist attacks on New York City and Washington DC were perpetrated by the very same governments that had the most to gain from them. The US Federal Government, along with theUK and Israel, have each been implicated in the most purposeful and calculated, complex and premeditated false flag operation of this millennium.”

 

The karmic slack of yesteryear has been tightened considerably, and only continues to be shortened with each passing day.

 

“Whenever the going gets really rough for those who do rule the realm, war has always been their way out.  Looking at the state of affairs across the planet, it’s quite easy to see how many plots are afoot to trigger a global conflict of apocalyptic proportions.  Yes, these guys (and gals) are truly desperate as the 9/11 terrorist attacks so dramatically portrayed … and that was 13 years ago!”

 

“You can start by disseminating the some of the myriad compelling articles and essays, indisputable videos and audios which lay bare the realities surrounding the 9/11 state-sponsored terrorism inflicted upon the US citizenry BY ITS OWN GOVERNMENT.  Many a weekend warrior has now taken up this cause as we all wait for a critical mass of true patriots required to ensure that justice is served.  Everyone agrees that the treasonous elements which have taken over government at all levels must be exposed and dealt with accordingly.  Here’s a Citizens’ Indictment which illustrates the true depth and breadth of the actual 9/11 criminal conspiracy.”

 

“When perpetrated against its own citizenry in order to conduct a fake worldwide War on Terror makes this overwhelmingly heinous, multi-year crime spree that much more far-reaching and deplorable, incorrigible and shocking.  And, therefore, in dire need of being terminated post haste.”

 

Read more here:   http://chemtrailsplanet.net/2014/09/11/us-government-was-hijacked-by-state-terrorist-insiders-on-911/

:

—–

4:59 am

It occurred to me that those who now realize I’m telling the truth, and those who always knew it, might be considering the ramifications of my claims.  Some may be considering the implications of technology that can STEAL A PERSON’S SOUL!  This is chilling, an utterly unimaginable reality to face alone.  Call me if you want:   906-291-1376

—-

4:29 am

MUSIC BREAK  (Well, it’s sorta music.)

God told me I’ll laugh like a child.  This video set me off pretty good.  I could write twenty pages about it!  A BIBLE-THUMPING PERVERT!  Rah, rah, ras-pu-teen….”Demands to do something about this outrageous man became louder and louder.”

4:08 am

My dad hasn’t made me a new offer in a while, he should be doing that soon.  In May he offered me bank stock, in August it was a credit card that he planned to pay.  He should offer me the condo in Toronto so I can get Josh into courses of Swedish language and swing dancing.

—-

Josh is glowing, Dad did a very good thing giving him a job.  Wasn’t that easy?  He could have done that five years ago instead of trying to destroy my family.  Josh wasn’t being noticed in the crush of drug dealers.  He’s never smoked pot and he got ignored.   “Tough shit, Linda.  We can’t listen because we’re too busy having church.”  We are the widows and the orphans down here!  We are the Poor Samaritan!  I was RAPED…c’mon people, all the world is watching.  Where’s that Christian charity I’ve heard so much about?  Where do you tally those jots and tittles?   Where is a Christian Church when you need one?    Where do you meet up with the government to get your orders?  Somebody’s got something very good on my father, I can just feel it.  I mean, somebody besides me. You people did wrong, by trusting in my dad’s money instead of God’s word.  There’s yet time to make it right.

—–

Don’t look at this wrong.  Don’t look at my requests for my RIGHTFULLY DUE SHARE as though they have anything to do with me.  I am not asking for myself, nor even for my children.  Each request is another opportunity for a darkened soul to step into the light, and get warmed up.  How we leave this earth is how we will remain for all eternity.  I’m going to set up planets for God.  I always loved organizing parties.

——

9/29/14

9:49 am

What we’re watching in America is a battle for predominance between the “intelligence” agencies.  The skirmish is not really important strategically, but it predicts responsive tactics and it’s fun to watch.  It won’t last long because…as the goons all know…there are no secrets anymore.  Anybody with secrets is preparing to take one in the gut.  (Except Christians.  They think they hold a get-out-of-jail-free card.)  Representatives of the warring factions lie under oath to Congress.  Their hubris and ambition roll unchecked.  They spy on each other and issue blackmail threats.  They manipulate human environment and interaction to corrupt relationships and reputations.  And hearts.  Their influence is waning, as their handlers assume more hands-on participation in destruction of the planet, and of mankind.  You’ll still see them around, in the camps.

——

9:13 am

God said I’d lose everybody, and I did.  For at least a time, I lost the positive regard of every person I valued. Isaac was the last to go; the day he knocked me out he said, “I know God told you you’d lose everybody.  I didn’t want that to be true.”  People do not like seeing prophecy fulfilled, for the most part.  For some of us it’s different, we’ve been hanging our hat on prophecy for so long we’re continually encouraged, lately.  This must be what it means in Matthew 10:41.  “He that receiveth a prophet in the name of a prophet shall receive a prophet’s reward; and he that receiveth a righteous man in the name of a righteous man shall receive a righteous man’s reward.”  I have determined the “prophet’s reward” to be ABSENCE OF FEAR.  This is a fine reward, and a necessary component of survival in the days ahead.  (I wonder what is the reward for a righteous man?  I suspect I’ll like that too.)  I listened to the prophets.  I’m fearless.  God also said, regarding our relationship with the prophetic ministry,  “Believe in the Lord your God, so shall ye be established; believe his prophets, so shall ye prosper.”  (2 Chronicles 20:20[b])  I’m prepared to prosper.

——

4:57  am

MUSIC BREAK, Good morning, God!

I’m making ribs today.  I gave them a spice rub last night.  I like cooking for two and I like being alone with Josh.  It was a hard road getting to this place.  He hated me, because I was a victim.  The Baptists are pretty Islamic, and they got to him.  I shuffled in my burka for several years, then God told me to give him up.  I had to give up George and Josh to survive, and now of course, to thrive.  God asked me to lay down my family and doing so allowed me to treat them consciously, and without (much!) personal investment.  God said they belong to him.  He walked me through it, and prepared me perfectly for everything he asked.  He gave me love for my enemies.  He’s a very good God.

————–

9/28/14

12:58 pm

Josh and I almost ate a dozen butter tarts.  They were perfect.  It’s a basic brown-sugar chess filling with softened raisins instead of nuts.  They were a tiny bit runny in the middle and my pastry is always perfect anyway.  I’m making more today.  I’d like to try dried cranberries or cherries, I think the tartness would be great with the filling.
We’ve got to get over this selfishness-thing.  Lots of people work just as hard as you do.  You’re hoarders, you should have your own TV show.  Get it together.  We need each other and we all need provision.  This is the endtime battle between good and evil and nobody gets to hoard who doesn’t want his throat slit in the middle of the night by the advancing enemy which none is inclined to confront on your behalf.  (We’re still just working on the golden rule here.)  So, what do we got so far?  No lying.  Never.  No exceptions, not even for the psychopaths.  If you got a lot of happy, you spread it around.  No selfish people in the Kingdom of God.  Also, DO NOT BE CRABBY ALL THE TIME.  Laugh once in awhile.

——

12:47 pm

My people are going to be good people.  Although it may not sound like it, there are many things I like about my family.  With a little tweeking we will become  a force to contend with.

—-

12:35 on

Josh went to see a friend in jail.  He’s never been to jail, it’ll be good for him.  All his friends got to go.  Can you believe 1 in 25 persons is arrested every single year in America?  How is this possible?  How come they can’t find the guys who hacked Target and Home Depot?  Criminal law does not exist to stop crime.  Crimes exist to make us all feel guilty all the time.  We’re supposed to KNOW we are being watched and evaluated, according to volumes of statutes we’ll never see much less understand.  We’re ALL in violation of something right this minute.  That’s intentional.  They know how to deal with criminals.  It’s the principled, and righteous in their cause; that’s who they can’t figure out.  We’re the great experiment.  Those with a code of conduct, not written on paper but on their hearts.  Also those who have access to the throne-room of God the Father Almighty, maker of Heaven and Earth.  Maybe others.  The wild card.
Jesus “came to set the captives free.”  He did and he still does.  We’re so cornered by arbitrary rules that we are no longer free moral agents.  We’ve given up God’s gift to us!  He bought it back for us.  We are righteous, in his eyes and we are not to cower in shame!  “The wicked flee when no man pursueth, but the righteous are as bold as a lion!”  I declare BOLDNESS upon all of us in the name of Jesus and through the power of his shed blood and his sinless life and his mind, body, Spirit and all of his sacrifice for us…Amen.

—-

6:39 am

“I could not see any way to stop all this, without first taking down, every single one of these people involved, especially at the top, and since our system of justice is completely gone, that meant it was going to have to be up to us to do what is necessary. “

Planet Killer Chemtrails! Various Scientists Murdered After Exposing The Truth!

“I did not want to do fear porn, but by the same token, this is truth and it is happening and we do need to at least try to stop it.”

Read more at:   http://beforeitsnews.com/power-elite/2014/09/vatic-alert-breaking-planet-killer-chemtrails-various-scientists-murdered-after-exposing-the-truth-2446926.html

—-

4:44 am

MUSIC BREAK

4:31 am

Heaven and Earth will merge.  We will naturally pass this point on the road to “…thy Kingdom come, on Earth as it is in Heaven.”  We’ve got to go from point A to point B, and it’s going to be a rocky road.  It’s going to be glorious too.  The opportunities to live will be greatly multiplied.  We’ll see miracles every day, and we’ll see gruesome things.  We must be trained to observe as directed.  We must choose much joy in the Lord, so we can see as he sees, and do what he’s choosing to do at every given moment.  We must duck at a whisper, and stand tall when it’s the right thing to do.  We must battle to regain the land that the Lord rightfully purchased. We are his agents.  It still amazes me that his Truth came back to Earth through electronic hubris.  He’s using personal shame to catch arrogant men.  Liars are embracing truth and it’s changing the world.  Many unusual things must happen in the natural realm for Truth to be established in every remaining human heart.  He’s using the mundane, and the ANTI-CHRIST mechanisms of psychopathic human government to reveal himself!  We have to go through the hoops.  We have to confront liars and control freaks with truth and love and never, ever stop.  We have been entrusted with the end-time battle between good and evil and we must remake our world, by permitting Jesus to remake ourselves.

—-

3:23 am

The Millenium is another training ground, 1,000 years to learn how to run a planet.  Learning to manage the Kingdom of God on a planet!  To the expansion of God’s Kingdom, there will be no end.  We’re being trained now. and tested.  We’ve got to get it right in the short time we have left.  We don’t get another chance.  Planet Earth becomes the capital of the whole universe.  That means that those of us who are now alive on Earth…will be in history.  We will be the Thomas Jeffersons and the Benedict Arnolds.  No revisionism permitted, our lives will speak through countless ages!  Not only our actions, but our hearts as well, will be exposed forever.  We are very important to the future, too.  Those who went before us are biting their lips.  Will we finish well?  They’re also gamers, and they bet on us.  They bet on our generation.  (Of course, God told them who would win so it wasn’t really a bet.)   There are many more influences on our puny minds than we can imagine.  (We don’t even acknowledge the proven ones!) There is more at stake, than we can imagine and the wonders we shall see are unimaginable.  We’re SPIRITUAL beings and we’re going to FLY.  If we want to.  Those who won’t unclench somebody else’s money will not fly.   God’s TSA doesn’t miss a thing…

(References available on request.)

———————–

9/27/14

5:50 pm

Josh and I will eat early.  I made beet risotto to go with the tenderloin and gorgonzola sauce.  Blue cheese is great with beets.  I made butter tarts.  I can’t wait to live in Canada for a while.  Leeks with viniagrette and diced egg.  My own father persecuted me, you gotta think about that in a societal context.  My church-going father chose the government over his own kith.  He’s not the worst, not by a long shot but he’s indicative of the psychopathic matrix that controls us from cradle to grave, or until enlightenment.  We are sometime-biological organisms who have rights to God’s world.  Psychopaths think they’re the only ones with rights.  That’s coming to an end.  We allow others to starve right in front of us.  Hillary Clinton says she knows how it feels, she’s broke too.  We have a lot to answer for, as a a species and as individuals.

—–

8:09 am

“Humor breeds life, acceptance and personal power. It is freeing and absent of fear. You won’t find much of it in strict, punitive, controlling regimes often found in the following institutions:

  • School
  • Law enforcement & judicial system
  • Bureaucracy
  • Healthcare
  • Toxic upbringing environment
  • Heavy handed religious sects
  • Toxic, abusive relationships including at work”

– See more at: http://www.naturalblaze.com/2014/09/humor-for-taking-back-your-personal.html#sthash.8eWm4lAq.dpuf

—-

6:06 am

MUSIC BREAK

(My morning prayer.)

———-

5:34 am

“It (culture) invites people to diminish themselves, and dehumanize themselves, by behaving like machines.” “Are we really gonna hang on to all of our material possessions at the potential cost of our fellow human beings?”

———-

9/26/14

8:05 pm

What a GREAT trip to Marquette!  The colors were incredible, it was 85 degrees for the first time in 2014, and I got a haircut.  The guy who is putting the zipper in my boot actually delivers things to Newberry.  He’s going to give me a metal zipper because they’re “good boots”.  I got them on E-bay and the zipper broke the only time I ever wore them.  But, I had a little cash and he can do it.  I have seriously had the finest week in my whole life.  I’ve had weeks that were more fun, but this last week I do not think even a single thing annoyed me.  Not even my customary annoyances.  I have had a week of freedom and peace.  I knew this was possible, I always believed this would be great.  IT IS.  I want this all the time.  I wish to never resent another thing and I want to long for nothing.  Really, great day.  I bought Josh another hat, I couldn’t help myself.  I found him a brown one, thirty bucks…but it is perfect, steam-punk, and it looks outstanding on his head.  He was delighted.  I also bought him a pastie and drove him home so he could sleep.  What a great day.  I forgot how much I love Northern Michigan in the Fall!  I am ecstatic every Fall, then I forget, Dear God, don’t we forget what winter’s like?  We might as well hibernate!  People drop in all summer long and then it tapers off then we’re all shackbound for six months.  We should change that somehow.

——

Josh came out to the fridge, I said, “This has been my best day.  Thank you for being a big part of my best day.”  He said, “No problem.”  This is very good; I’ve missed him.  He’s very funny and in my line of work I don’t usually laugh too much.  But, I no longer vomit and cry when I read about the dead babies.  I know who’s driving this stagecoach.  It’s good to see him intervene on behalf of humanity and on behalf of me, who loves him.

———–

12:14 pm

I guess I’ve been working for about nine hours.  It’s been a good morning.  Now I have to go to see about getting a new zipper in my boot, and to Gwinn to pick up Josh.  I’m making him a great dinner tomorrow.  roast tenderloin, beet risotto and braised leeks.  He’ll flip.  I’ll check in when I get home.  I’ve had road trips, three days in a row and I’m very grateful.  Driving is the best praying time of all.  It’s already an altered state.  The prophet said he’ll give Josh a real driving lesson.  Isaac told him to watch the RPM’s for when to shift.  I told him to listen and feel.  I love driving a stick but I’m not a good teacher.  I used to hate computers; when the goons started jerking me around online it was really funny because most of the time I didn’t notice.  I thought I was just making mistakes.

——

10:17 am

FAMILY:    OBAMA PUT SLAVERY IN UKRAINE!

How long before he’s plucking up the able-bodied among us?  The able-minded are going first because they might WAKE UP and be a threat to the gamers!  Remember the “Cultural Revolution”?  We have a brief window of opportunity to arise from before the generational false altar of American imperialism!   “You Gotta Serve Somebody”!  (Bob Dylan)  Our lives are not our own!  We must break free!

“On 23 September 2014, the Ukrainian Ministry of Social Policy announced official civilian slavery, via an obscure press release, headlined “The Government has extended the list of community service under martial law”; and they announced it there, in bureaucratic phrases that seemed crafted so as to be ignored…”

Do you want to serve a god that lies to you?

Read more at:   http://www.blacklistednews.com/Ukraine_Government_Officially_Introduces_Slavery%2C_with_Vague_Terms/38196/0/38/38/Y/M.html

4 am

—–

8:47 am

I am free of care, I’ve never been carefree before.  I could barely summon the sisu for “spontaneous.”  I love the concept but the practice was scary.  “Leap and the net will appear.”  (Jason Mraz)  If you hear the voice of God, and you act on what you “hear”, you’ll grow faith.  That’s how it works.  “Faith cometh by hearing.”  Faith doth not come by wishing really hard.  Faith cometh not by reading true things.  Faith is the installation of “Truth” himself, within the human heart.  “Christ in me my [only] hope of glory.”  Think on these things.  His “spontaneity” is nothing of the sort but it feels that way, and it’s fun.  He plans every detail and if you watch along it is always amazing.  God has used every single event of my life to demonstrate his truth to me.  It’s been fun sitting on my ass for three years reflecting, but I’m eager to get moving.  I’m just having a great morning, thanks for listening in.

—–

8:12 am

That’s important to remember, the gamers are also being played.  The human psychopaths are not our enemy, they are prisoners of war.  We must endeavor to free them.  “We wrestle not against flesh and blood.”

8:00 am

The gamers don’t want “everybody happy” because that would be a really boring game.  (Some of them know they are also being played, in a larger game.  Most don’t care.)  It’s all about the endorphins; nobody ever wins a trophy and they all die afraid.  “All is vanity.”  (Solomon)  We will be given clarity to recognize those who care about others, and those who use others as accessories to fictional existence.  We’ll get zombies.  When we put on the sunglasses we’ll see the difference between people of love and people of self.  It’ll be like “The Stand.”  (Stephen King)  We’ll follow where our heart is already at.  “Highway to Hell.”  People are going to look into the eyes of loved ones and see much reptilian coldness and calculation of lust!  They’ll just become zombies on the spot.  The government knows this is coming.  They know what will happen when people learn truth.  They do research.  “High and lifted up!  Amen.”

7:34 am

My family is very selfish and controlling.  This is embarrassing among my new cosmic friends.  I felt so happy today I was wondering about my aura.  I actually thought, “I bet I look really pretty right now, in the Spirit.”  SPIRITS KNOW WHAT YOU ARE JUST BY LOOKING AT YOU.  There are no secrets.  Hunker down.  Human dictators, small and great, are gamers.  They’re getting off on shoving us around.  We are being played; it’s all theatre.  When I am occasionally given the privilege of observing my race through God’s eyes, it’s hysterical!  We do nothing in our own best interest and we don’t even notice everybody else.  We willingly submit our minds to the Dungeon-master’s plot twists.  We’re like mice in a maze!  We never stand up to look over the side!  We’re foos-ball linked, moving all the time, so we believe ourselves free, and enlightened.  We’re kicking the same ball and we cannot break rank.  We’re really cute.  And pathetic.
Here’s another part of that new golden rule:  We must now stick up for the little guy.  No questions asked.  Jesus will sort out the details later.  My cousin is sticking up for his girlfriend, she’s getting divorced.  He wants to help but his position is unclear.  Our societal memes have frustrated men’s hearts…and their common sense.  Men don’t know how to act, even when they know how they should act.  He stuck up for her and she cried; nobody ever stuck up for her before.  Women are bitchy because nobody is looking out for them.  Men too.

—–

7:08 am

I feel like Christmas Eve; everything is slow and glowy.  The free market is rearing its head, and Karma is putting on her make-up.  This is the best day of my life.  I had the best WEEK of my life.  I’m seeing the little fires that have been prophesied so long.  When they join up we’re going to see some fireworks.  “God bless the NSA and the United Nations!  God bless your own wonderful Spirit of Truth!  God bless Jesus!  Bless my father and mother and everybody else I know!  Wake them up, shake them up!  You said you would do this and I am SO GRATEFUL that I get to participate!  Thank you for not forgetting me!”
People are saying smart, non-psychopathic things.  Human and individual things.  Freedom-talk.  I’m enjoying this very much and I hope we’re paying attention.  The goal is, was, and ALWAYS WILL BE:  Everybody happy.  That’s my goal and it will eventually be everybody else’s goal as well.  Selfishness is exposed, and will be embarrassing, and then it will go away.  Unless you fight the process.  “You will be assimilated.”  The Borg hath spoken.

—–

7:03 am

So we only got one rule now:  If you have a lot of happy, you share it with somebody else to make him happier.  We’ll call it the “golden rule.”  Abolish our maxim of late:   “Whoever has the gold makes the rules!”  “Truth, welcome to my planet.  Long live the KING!”  “With liberty and justice for all!  All Hail King Jesus!”  (I’d take you to my leader if I could figure out who it was.)

——

5:44 am

“Among all the soi-disant élites of the world, there are myriad clones of Christine Lagarde: people giving great front, if only to disguise their lack of backbone and background. They have sweeping visions that seem able to see through the elephant in every meeting room, but a sort of desensitised myopia when it comes to human suffering and aspiration. From Wheelchair Wolfie via Gordon Brown to David Cameron, from Angela Merkel via Nicolas Sarkozy to Antonis Samaras, from Ed Balls via George Osborne to Mitt Romney – and yes, from Barack Obama via Hillary Clinton to Ed Miliband – they are – every one of them, as I often write in these columns – ill.”

Great rant against the psychopaths, beginning with Christine LaGarde.  Can you believe that ALL OF THEM ARE FRAUDS?  I think that’s what we’re finding out.  I know that’s proven true in my personal life, for the most part.

Read more at:   http://hat4uk.wordpress.com/2014/09/23/analysis-the-goddess-christine-lagardes-inadequate-untutored-ex-cathedra-eye-for-the-devil-in-the-detail/

——

5:35 am

MUSIC BREAK

This is one of my favorite praise songs.  I just wanted to let Jesus know I was still thinking about him.  I think I was listening to this the first time I ever saw him dance.  Maybe I’m wrong.

Natalie Cole – Swinging Shepherd blues

——-

9/25/14

8:47 pm

I’m preaching about the SPIRIT, just like the Bible says and like lots of other groups that do not call themselves CHRISTIAN are saying.  Get onboard the Love Train!

(I’ve been putting out this stuff since February, 2009.  This is coming to a point pretty soon.

8:37 pm

You gotta understand, when voice-to-skull showed up, I was already hearing voices in my head, already.  I had listened for God’s voice for many years and finally I heard it.  I’ve never been the same since that day.  I have prayed in tongues every single day since that day.  I increase in weirdness, but why the pejorative?  You’d like it here, and it is in fact, here.  Transformation for everybody is available for the taking.  “His Spirit on ALL FLESH!”  Connie’s gonna fly, I know it.  Anyway, artificial telepathy is really interesting for a while.  Like all games, it gets old.  If I had a bit of information, I could perhaps take my fight to the street.  This would be a very good time to speak up.

7:10 pm

I’ve lately permitted myself to enjoy the familiar.  I was always very nostalgic, that’s kin to wistful which is almost homesick and then you’re sad.  (Unless the NSA pushes the button marked “depressed” and then it just hits you mid-laughter and you KNOW that’s not you.)  The demons are subtler, because they mean to establish residence.  Humans just jerk off and get on their way.  I saw an extraordinarily beautiful scene today.  I drove Sandtown road, I used to do it all the time when gas was cheap and I had purpose.  I’d breath.  (Campaigns are INSANITY on a bus.)  (But you always know your purpose.)  I was driving through farmland (dairy cows), gentle ripples of hills through endless green surrounded by a thousand other colors in the hardwood trees.  The sky was very blue and free of chemtrails.  The traffic slowed almost to a stop as we were approached by a single-file of Amish schoolkids.  They were pristine, they were monochrome, they were REAL!  These children dressed alike, boys as boys and girls as girls, and they carried the same items.  The blues and purples were brighter than the trees and each boy had a single suspender slinging up black clamdiggers.  Their lunchpails were shiny and galvanized.  (I used to see old peanut butter pails at the public school.)  The picture was vibrant.  It was true and sad.  Then we had to pull over again, two buggies meeting, one on each shoulder.  A be-bonneted ingenue, with sunglasses and good control of her horses.  (Actually there was only one horse on each buggy but I like the way that sentence sounded with “control her horses.”)  The buggy on the right shoulder had a top on it, like a surrey.  No fringe on the top, these beautiful people were Amish.  I sure hope nobody shoots them.  I was enjoying the familiar road and my too-familiar thoughts.  Then He gave me a surprise!  He always gives me surprises.

—-

6:37 pm

This would be a really nice time for a good faith gesture of filial esteem.  The cloud of witnesses wants to see you put your money where your mouth is.  It’s where your heart’s s’posed to be.

6:05 pm

Fifteen minutes after George left I was out the door.  I went to the grocery store to buy red meat.  Beef tenderloin was on sale so I bought a whole one.  I usually get a steak while George is at his mother’s but this time I also had Josh to think about.  I bought leeks and GOOD chocolate chips.  George’s favorite meal is grilled boneless chicken breast and canned green beans.  We have ten cans of green beans and I haven’t opened one since 2008.  We’re in the wrong life.  I’m going to cut the meat into three pieces.  I’ll hack the big end off tonight and grill it for myself.  The narrow portion I’ll split lengthwise and marinate the pieces in Dijon mustard and rosemary.
———–
So I told the prophet that he’ll have to come along and testify when I find out the venue.  I don’t know if my government will assist me or if we’ll have to call a people’s tribunal.  This is out of hand, my father is CONDEMNED and nobody will hardly call me up.  Speak now or forever hold your peace.  Is it OK what this self-proclaimed Christian did to his own daughter?  My life really sucked.  (I didn’t know that until I met a person who CONSCIOUSLY TRIED TO MAKE LIFE BETTER FOR HIMSELF AND EVERYBODY ELSE!  That was a MAJOR shock.)  The prophet let me tell my story all through the torture and the campaigns and he just let me talk and talk.  Then we’d pray about it.  I asked him if he remembers how stupid I felt sending all those journals to a man who hated me.  God kept telling me to go ahead and now THIS IS A REALLY GOOD STORY!  Hearing him remember all those times, man, if some smart somebody would take this up we could take something down.  I have depleted uranium ammunition here!  This is gonna be some kinda fun.
—-
 I have had a terrible life.  I never knew that, I honestly did not.  I just thought I was a crab.  I wasn’t!  I was really happy all the time…but people kept dumping on me!  This is great news, it really is.  I am not what people said I was!  I am me, and I like me, and I’m the happiest person I know!  I love food so much I don’t have to eat all the time!

—-

9:04 am

OK, I discussed a bit about how SLANDER damaged my marriage.  I was personally damaged by SLANDER in other ways as well:  and OTHER nefarious acts also damaged my marriage.  I’ll forgo those discussions, proceeding to the effects of SLANDER on my CHILDREN.
Josh had no mother of course, since SLANDER destroyed my credibility with him. By altering the dynamics in the marriage, my parents deprived Josh of parenting altogether.  (George is a fine buddy to the boys.  I parented.)  (I described our difficulties in letters to my parents over a period of years.  I retain copies.)  Isaac had to take up the slack.  (Especially since no relative would assist.)  Isaac was required to assume far more responsibility and worry than a teenager should EVER have to carry.  In 2009, Josh was 12.  I spoke to my mother once, about the importance of the intervening years, in the development of a boy’s character.  She agreed it was important.  She kicked me out again.  (Her home, that time.)     I would prefer not to divulge details of our painful half-decade, but they are recorded and available on request.  SLANDER damaged my children.  They are resultingly  stronger and God has things under control.  However, SLANDERERS are liable and responsible,  for the sake of their own IMMORTAL SOULS…to compensate.
—-
Slander=calumny.  Calumny is murder.

—-

7:02 am

“Virtue in its concrete order is possible only in those spheres in which it is possible to be vicious. Man can be a saint only in a world in which it is possible to be a devil.”

~Through the Year with Fulton Sheen, Servant Books, 1985 pp 110-111.

 

“As God permits this natural freedom, so must we. Natural freedom is a given in this life. We are told not to judge others. We are cautioned not to be busybodies (a contemptible bunch that St. Peter classes with thieves, murderers and other criminals 1 Pet. 4:15). There is a purpose in allowing the exercise of free will.”

 

More at:   http://www.lewrockwell.com/2014/09/randy-england/catholic-libertarians-attacked/

——-

6:12 am

MUSIC BREAK

To all you guys:

906-291-1376

——

5:04 am

Organized Stalking, Gang Stalking, Mind Control Technologies, Targeted Individual

JESUS COULD HELP THIS GUY!  HE COULD HELP JESUS!  I COULD HELP THEM BOTH!

—–

9/24/14

4:38 pm

12:22 pm

“Abuse is fundamentally a mentality. It is a mindset of entitlement. The abuser sees himself as entitled. He is the center of the world, and he demands that his victim make him the center of her world. His goal is power and control over others. For him, power and control are his natural right, and he feels quite justified in using whatever means are necessary to obtain that power and control.”
—-
My father did 1) abduct my children, 2) bully George about me, 3) take away my house, 4) report me to to the police,  5) put me under surveillance, 6) try to have me locked up, and 7) try to murder me.   He’s a very sick abusive man.

——-

8:39 am

Therefore to him that knoweth to do good, and doeth it not, to him it is sin.  James 4:17

—–

6:03 am

Watch The Amazing Change When This Woman With Cerebral Palsy Smokes Marijuana

“I — I — I smoked cannabis for the first time when I was 14,” Patterson said to the Pitch. “For the first time, my muscles were not tense. And words slid from my mouth, from gggghhh — from me at a fluid pace instead of sssss-stuck on my tongue like a g-ghh — like a train wreck.”

 

More here:   http://www.collective-evolution.com/2014/09/23/see-how-marijuana-dramatically-instantly-changes-the-way-this-girl-is-affected-by-her-cerebral-palsy/

—-

Like this beautiful, strong woman, I was born with a thorn in the flesh.  (But mine will soon treat me with respect and give me 3.5 million dollars.)  I too have suffered much and been given the opportunity to turn my experience into something GOOD FOR OTHERS.  I have been willing to expose my life and I’m committed to relieving the suffering of those who are subject to organized stalking and electronic harassment.  (“God bless her with much fruit for her labors.  Give her peace.  Amen.”)  I want my children and yours to live in a world where such things do not exist.  (And where fascist governments do not CRIMINALIZE a  PLANT!)

———————–

3:38 am

No message from my parents, again this morning.  (Other family has texted me.)  Josh saw Mom and Dad yesterday, at the hardware store.  Mom invited Josh for dinner on his birthday, tomorrow.  He has plans.  (He told her he’d go next week sometime.)  Mom and Josh share a birthday.  When I learned I was pregnant with Josh, the whole gang was in Hong Kong.  I refused the invitation because traveling with them is not  fun because 1) they control every second, 2) they make lame choices, and 3) I don’t like to shop.  My mother was very angry about /during  my pregnancy.  (I don’t know why. Heaven knows Isaac’s existence didn’t change her life at any cost of time or attention.)  So I was surprised to see her on September 25,  at the hospital.  She even brought another strange woman to distract me from necessary considerations.  But,  Josh was born on her birthday and she named him.  (I didn’t let her pick the middle name, Isaac did that.)  For years my parents expected Isaac to spend his birthday with them EVERY SINGLE YEAR.  What narcissists.  Everything’s gotta be about them.  “God forgive them.”
Dad always says there are so many babies born in September because everybody gets the same thing for Christmas.  (I like Libra men lots more than Libra women.)  (Actually, the boys say I don’t like women at all.)  (“God, please forgive me for judging your daughters as conniving and crabby.  Please change my heart.”)

—–

9/23/14

12:29 pm

Birthday cake is in the oven (I’m baking it in disposable pans so Josh can take it to his friend’s house and not have to remember to return a plate) and venison is simmering in mashed carrots and celery, with nutmeg and bay leaves.

OK, now that I got everybody’s attention:  I will not hold it against any of you for believing my father’s lies about me and my family.  I am not resentful of the many holidays I spent alone, nor of all the  unanswered correspondence. I do have some  immediate needs.  (Attn: Non-family blog-followers, you are excused from responsibility.  Read on if you like.) Someone of means should get my mother out of the area for a while.  A couple months maybe, I don’t know.  She’s just selfish and bitchy,  she’s not a murderer.  I have been cooperating with the goons for a long time now.  I really don’t know what their plans are for Dad, to arrest him or just to keep him under surveillance until he drops dead of a heart attack.  Either way, she doesn’t need to see it. Also, someone with some influence over the wannabe-Pharoah should encourage him to speak truth.  My boys have suffered at his hand and at yours.  Truth will set them free, and it won’t hurt you either.
About me.  Everybody knows I never did anything in my life but cook and wait on people.  I got uppity and ran for office.  I would not have done so had I not believed Jesus wanted it.  Even if I was mistaken,  I’ve demonstrated a pretty good grasp of geopolitical events for a domestic;  I have a law degree and it was not an extraordinary thing for me to do.  That it offended people is not really my problem.  The last time I attended a family dinner Chris was in the limelight discussing the Affordable Care Act.  I had been giving speeches on the topic for months, but was not permitted entrance into the conversation.  (I remember asking, “Chris, did you read that enormous bill”?  She said, “Yes.”  I couldn’t even lift it.)  I enjoyed my political conversation with a Canadian gentleman dining alone at a nearby table.  Then my family left early so we could GO TO CHURCH. This offended the sperm- doner.  (Heaven only knows what does not.)  I am consistent, diligent and logical. (Sometimes I think I’m even witty.)  I do not care what you think of my faith or  politics…but y’all done me wrong. You can rectify that  now.   Thank you for your prompt attention to this matter.

—-

6:16 am

MUSIC BREAK

Dedicated to my “Christian” dad, as he pouts in God’s waiting room:

By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another.

—–

5:58 am

George just left for work.  When I saw his light on I figured it was still on from last night but he took another double shift.  I explained Josh’s plan for me to ride with him to Gwinn tomorrow right after work,  so he could spend a couple days with a friend. George noticed  (!)  that he will not see Josh on his birthday.  Or for ten days afterward, since George is going to his mom’s house again.  Josh will be getting no gift. George already showed Josh a picture of what he ordered for him  ( an AXE head…) so there’s nothing  here.  I’ll bake birthday cake today and make vadas from the last package of venison.  (I asked George’s permission to use it in such a disrespectful manner and Josh said he’d like to try it.)  He and I will eat it tonight.  Banana cake.  I make them in tiers for George.  I said, “Josh isn’t going to have a gift.”  He said, “Yeah.”  I said, “It’s his eighteenth birthday.”  He said, “That’s the way it goes.”  I couldn’t help muttering under my breath that if he had ordered a present in late July when I started talking about it, Josh would have a gift.  He didn’t hear me, and was very grateful for the meatloaf sandwich on homemade bread I put into his hand as he left.  “God, Thank you that my dad gave me money to have a hat made for Josh.  Forgive my mother and father for all of their evil against this family.  Forgive them for perpetuating neglect and stupid.    Amen.”  I’m having Josh’s passport picture taken at Wal-mart before I drop him at his friend’s house.  $7.44.  (The price has gone down.)  I badgered George for the money.

—–

5:05 am

It’s easy to be independent when you’ve got money. But to be independent when you haven’t got a thing — that’s the Lord’s test.
Mahalia Jackson, gospel singer (1911-1972) – See more at: http://josephsoninstitute.org/quotes/quotations.php?q=Money,%20greed#sthash.aAGIfMrQ.dpuf

—–

9/22/14

3:00 pm

I grew up between two air force bases, about two hundred miles apart;  when I was a kid we saw fighter jets all the time.  Then came Project ELF  to one of them and a nun went to prison for protesting the HAARP technology. Then  both bases closed down.  We didn’t see planes anymore.  Around 2004 or 2005, I started seeing contrails again so I watched them.  (And took pictures and showed them to my dad.)  (I just found the pictures when I was looking for his child porn.)  I was driving east on US-2 one day, near Brevort and watched three planes flying different directions at  the same time!  Go figure!  I couldn’t imagine the flight  patterns of commercial jets had changed so drastically.  (We’re not on the way to ANYWHERE except maybe Iceland over the top.)  I did some research and learned that I was not watching “contrails” but “chemtrails”.
Over the years I’ve approached my father with many anomalies of nature and society.  Many of my observations have now been publicly acknowledged.  I’ve predicted many things that came to pass.  I told him in 2009 I would be a bag lady for a while and come out of it stronger.  He’s seen lots of God going on.  Many things in my book have proven true and prescient.  He refuses to see God.  This is a really big mistake.  (Actually it is the ONLY mistake with eternal consequences.)  I can’t believe I was ever afraid of such a very stupid man.  I feel my face flushing all the time lately.  I’m getting very excited about the future.  I’m going to preach!

——

10:32 am

Does your real life match up with your persona?   It’s gonna matter really soon.

 

 

Top-Secret Document Reveals NSA Spied On Porn Habits As Part Of Plan To Discredit

nsa

Read more at:   http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/11/26/nsa-porn-muslims_n_4346128.html

——

9:30 am

One can’t divorce spirituality from ethics without rendering it bankrupt. As Isaiah put it:

Stop bringing meaningless offerings…. Learn to do right; seek justice. Defend the oppressed. Take up the cause of the fatherless; plead the case of the widow.

– See more at: http://mondoweiss.net/2014/09/jewish-spiritual-retreat#sthash.1pAXpbLh.UnO7I62K.dpuf

—–

7:56 am

Text to my dad:  Josh’s eighteenth birthday is in three days.  He will not be receiving a gift.  (He already got mine.)  Please get me 500 dollars today so I can make arrangements to have his passport photo taken.  Thank you.

(That old man’s interventions stole that sweet boy’s mother.  We’re only now becoming friends.)  (George ordered something but not in time.)

Update:

8:23 am

Went to see my dad.  He did his best “aw-shucks” drawl, “I don’t have five hundred dollars, Lin.”  I said, “You could write a check.”  He said,  “I’m not gonna do that.”  (He said that about a dozen times.) I said, “You stole that boy’s mother.  I have 1,000 pounds of evidence including sworn affidavits.”  He said, “Then turn it over to the court.”  I said, “I will not sue a brother in human court.  I filed suit against you on July 17, 2012.”   I turned to Tim and said, “He will give me 3.5 million dollars.  You heard it here first.”

“Dear Lord, I did not charge him with criminal sexual conduct in the original pleadings.  I now do so.  Pleases grant justice as you see fit.  Amen.”

Update:

8:35 am

I sent the same text to my mother, Mrs. “WE HAD TO DO IT.”

I’ll keep everybody posted.

___________________

5:40 am

I put this on my dad’s personal page.

EVERY GOLDTHORPE WOMAN should watch it.

——

5:00 am

Israeli Secret Intelligence Service (ISIS)

I know thy works, and tribulation, and poverty, (but thou art rich) and I know the blasphemy of them which say they are Jews, and are not, but are the synagogue of Satan.
Behold, I will make them of the synagogue of Satan, which say they are Jews, and are not, but do lie; behold, I will make them to come and worship before thy feet, and to know that I have loved thee.

——–

4:11 am

NSA Everyone Everywhere Everything – Letter from Mr A

No secrets, and they enjoy it.

 

Curse not the king, no not in thy thought; and curse not the rich in thy bedchamber: for a bird of the air shall carry the voice, and that which hath wings shall tell the matter.

—————–

9/21/14

9:08 am

I just went back to the church and put a copy of my correspondence to the pastor, in my dad’s car.  I wondered why I printed two copies.  I seldom keep hard copies anymore.

—-

8:44 am

I thought it was high time I met the new padre (I learned his name is Steve Peters) so I baked a cake and took it up to his house.  I wanted to beat the rush but had forgotten about the boys sleep-over and I drove right past my dad’s car!  I also gave Steve a few excerpts from my website.  I started like this:

Good morning sir,
If you haven’t heard my name you will, and I’m sorry for any trepidation you might have regarding me.  The brethren do not like me.  (It started when I got baptized in the Holy Ghost in 2001, but that’s another story.)  I hope you like the cake, I don’t have as many people to cook for since Connie’s burned down!  Attached are a couple excerpts from my website, thatrandomcandidate.com.  Do with them as you please.  Welcome to the neighborhood.  If I can do anything for you, I’m willing.
In Christ’s love most sincerely,
Linda Goldthorpe
906-291-1376
From page:  Bangladesh Whistleblowers Too:

November 8, 2013

4:30 am

ABWE forced a rape victim, a little girl, to sign a confession…

I also included the recent posts from the page:  Family Declarations (as permitted).  They’ve been REALLY popular.

——

6:28 am

Hey, watch the Angels free this homeless guy who got tasered!

4:36 am

(THANKS FOR ALL THE VIEWS!  THANKS VERY MUCH.  I haven’t had a phone call for weeks, that would be nice too.  906-291-1376)

These notes and prayers are  from the day Isaac knocked me out.  I wrote them after the boys left and I was pretty loopy, so I had to clean them up a little.  Original is on another page of this site:  Kingdom Court Documents  (Those are things I’ve served on my parents and Clive Ellis over months.  And presented to God for justice.)

Court Document 4    Transcript of Testimony–Mother.  Father.  You did this.

-(No service on Defendant’s “pastor”, who has received the url.  All other parties have been served.)

Made banana cake for George’s birthday.     The boys came out for lunch and Isaac complained that I’m so busy I don’t talk to him lately.  So I did.  Then he threw me against a wall.   I can’t use my right arm.  I hit my head pretty hard and couldn’t open my eyes for awhile.  Jesus will make me ok.  Isaac thinks I’m lying about my father.  He wants me to just forget, but he doesn’t know we’re in world war three.  He is very controlling.  I don’t actually hurt too bad.  Not even inside.  It only happened about fifteen   minutes ago and Im a

I asked Jesus to take me lower still.

Guess if he can take me at my word, I can take him at his Josh took care    hit my head pretty hard.  Isaac hit his heart.  He says he must hate me to do such a thing.  I told him it was just demons.

Josh  took care of me while i was down, and after.  My arm is pretty numb.  Josh wants me to patronize so Isaac won’t feel so bad.  Lying to make somebody feel better is not love.  they left me here.  that’s not love either.  I know what i know.  hope i dont have a concussion bu god made my brain so i know he can fix it.  my dad must tell the truth.  or not.  either way it wont be because i didnt try.

My arm is working so I texted Isaac  that news, and said I won’t tell his father.  He said I was his best friend.  He’s been my only friend and I love him.  I love truth more.

That was quite a stunt.  People on tv shows die from just that sort of maneuver.  Josh lifted my head and put a white towel underneath to see if there was any blood, I couldn’t move for a while.  It was nice to have him touch me.  He thinks I’m lying.  Somebody knows I’m not.  God, I give this all to you again.  I’ll wait for your justice.

I rebuke self-pity in the name of Jesus.  I want loving relationships, not fake ones, and lies make them fake.  Isaac was angry with me because I won’t accept his “everything is alright because I’m alright” doctrine.  Other people MUST KNOW ABOUT THE POWER OF JESUS.    He said,  to “be the change”.  He said I focus on the negative, yet for the first time, I’m able to watch negative without getting ill, because I know Jesus has a plan for all of this, and many people are embracing truth.  I told him I finally have a purpose, and I’ve wanted one all my life.    He wants to be a “team”  He ain’t on my team if he wants to ignore lies and to pretend.  He just wants peace.  I want peace AND FREEDOM FOR EVERYBODY.  One minute he’s mister new-age, with all the answers and pitying me, and the next minute he threw me against the wall.  He’s in a real crisis.

“Please go to him, Lord.  Fill him with TRUTH!  He’s had the “love”.  Didn’t do much.  Give him the real thing!  Give him YOU YOU YOU.  My dad took you from his life.  My dad is not as big as you are.  I’m a daughter of THE KING!  Set Isaac afire!  Burn out everything that does not comport with your KINGDOM.  Show him my father, as my father actually is, when he doesn’t have a present in his hands.  Show him TRUTH!  Show him my devotion, please?  Sorry, self-serving.  Show him You, and he’ll then see me, I expect.  (Personally I’d love it if you used him to tell my dad off good and proper.  But your way is always better than mine.  Is Alexander still alive?  Oh, well.  Whatever.)”

“Thank you that Josh’s tender heart is resurfacing.  Speak to him, will you?  Truth.  He MUST HAVE TRUTH.  My father cares nothing about those boys, except as a potential legacy.  Their hearts belong to you!  I gave those boys to you before they were born!  You promised me in 2007 that they were yours!  Go, do what you must.  I won’t stand in your way, as you give me grace!  I have no desire to control them, or my father…but I MUST REPRESENT TRUTH!”

“Dear Jesus, my government did a terrible thing.  My father did terrible things.  My friends betrayed me when I was obeying you.  Take this thing and make magic, like you always do.  Thank you.  Amen.”

“I’m feeling better and the numbness is almost gone.  Thank you Jesus.  I love you.”

(George’s birthday is 7/10.)

6:14 am

Here’s what I wrote to Isaac when he called to check on me after the incident:

Document 5     Admission of ex parte communication:
          Thank you for calling. Like I said, I was almost asleep when you called, but I got up to make myself a sandwich, which is probably good.  I don’t think I have a concussion.  Do not fret.  Lots of families have episodes like that.  They usually respond in one of two ways.  They might get all pissy and go to the cops.  Or they might push it under the rug
and pretend it never happened.  I will do neither.  We can choose our destinies, no?
          I love you more than nearly anything.  I do not love you more than truth, which to me, is a person.  I love Jesus more than you and I always will.  If you can’t live with that, then it’s not my problem.  Jesus wants me to continue confronting my father, and many others.  That’s my purpose.  When I’m off duty, I’d love to hang.  I will not tolerate a lie, and neither should you, but you’re your own boss.
As you said, “God’s will” and I never for a single second believed anything different.  You do not mean to harm anybody!  You mean to be free.  I mean to do all I can so that EVERYBODY can be free.  Love to you, so very much.
L

 

 —–

9/20/14

2:18 pm

The god I serve is God and He’s a very good god.  He’s WAY better than the Baptist god.  Josh wanted “Old Man’s Beard” for a project and the prophet said it grows high in trees and it’s very hard to find.  God sent a windstorm and dropped it right where we live.  He’s given me food when I had no money and He’s guided  me all over the place.  The Baptist god teaches that humans should figure things out for themselves,  and evaluate others.  My God does the figuring and the evaluating.  The Baptist god is exclusive but my God loves Josh and everybody.  Everybody. He’s making me be like Him.  Wish He’d hurry up.

——–

Baptists should test their god, I think, like I tested mine.  (Or rather, He tested me, because I wanted all of Him.) They should go dangerous places, and do without…just to check.  They should actually believe and perform tough Bible passages to see if their god has the right stuff.  One prophet did this.  He asked God to tell him when the stoplights would be either red or green. After a while he didn’t have to look, but it took time and lots of trials. This is a kind of  “virgins and the oil” thing.  “You Get What You Play For”   (REO Speedwagon)  “Not everyone who says  ‘Lord, Lord’ will enter the Kingdom.”  I asked for lots of oil and I begged to know Jesus very, very well.  It took many years and much prayer to get what oil I have, but this I know:  when Jesus shows up, I’ll know Him.  When Jesus comes back, what if He doesn’t look like the Baptist god at all?

—-

12:56 pm

Josh is home from work. He’s going to grate zucchini.  I found more lichens for him, and picked some wild blackberries.  I’m going to pull the lichens from the branches and spread them on a towel so they can dry out.  I showered, after I finished the dishes, and supper is in the works.  I’m brining chicken breasts which I will skillet-brown, then finish in the oven.  I’ll serve them with pesto and peas.  (Basil is wonderful with peas.)  I’ll make zucchini bread or this great zucchini cake.  My finger isn’t closing up at all and when it’s damp the top layer kinda slides around.  Very painful.  Josh was probably right, it should have been stitched.  It was so funny that he thought my dad would pay for it.  My dad wouldn’t even speak to me when Isaac pushed me into a wall and knocked me out cold!  (He didn’t like that I called Dad a liar.)  Dad knew all about it.  He knows lots of stuff and so do I.  Too late for stitches now.  I’ll have a reminder of the time my dad finally met his fate.  Until Jesus transfigures me, I suppose.

My parents were both out of sorts in the summer of 2012.  Near the time my dad said “fuck”, my mom screamed.  (She does that a lot but this time was different.)  She kicked me out of Dad’s office yelling, “WE HAD TO DO IT!”  (It might have been the very same week; I’d have to look it up.)

—–

9:57 am

I’m reminded of the summer of 2012.  That was the only time I ever heard my dad say “fuck.”  (That was when he was trying to have me locked up again.)  He spent most of that summer badgering my children to tell him what I accused him of doing.  He never asked me.  (The boys didn’t know of course; filicide is a terrible accusation to make about their grandfather.)  I was distraught about conditions in my home, and couldn’t get anybody to take me seriously.  I accused him, vaguely, “You NEED my family to be fucked up to cover your ass.”  He JUMPED from his chair and spit “fuck” like a watermelon seed.  He never asked, “Whatever do you mean?”  He has never asked me a single question.  But he gives me money now, and he answered a text day before yesterday, even if he lied.  I’m used to that.  (I’d have to look up all the dates.)  (Most people find easier ways to engage politically.  But, some do kill opponents.  Look at Pinochet.  Or George Bush.)

My mother says “fuck.”  She used to call students  FUBAR:   Fucked Up Beyond All… I don’t remember the “R” word but it means they’re hopeless.    Maybe “redemption”?  (She really dislikes children.)

—-

5:47 am

What a wind storm last night!  Did your lights go out?

BUMP TO THE TOP:

8/23/14

9:16 am

Rational Reflections in the Sun

If a loved one  accused me of trying to murder him or her, I’d want to talk about it. ( If ANYBODY accused me of trying to murder him or her, I’d want to talk about it.)  I’d want to talk about it more than anything …if I were innocent.
—-
If there existed recorded history of my prior attempts to control that person’s life, I’d be MORE inclined to desire a conversation about the accusations.  I’d be eager to discuss how my documented attempts to alter that person’s aspirations and activities had not progressed SO FAR! Much to the contrary, if I had previously sabotaged that person’s life, I would REALLY WANNA CLEAR MY NAME!  I would facilitate the discussion post-haste!  If I were innocent…
—–
If that person kept meticulous records I would figure it an easy matter to clear my name and I would seek that conversation eagerly.   If I were innocent…
—-
If I were a Christian, knowing the Bible says that if a person has “ought against me” I should go to him to make it right,  I’d go there post-haste…if I were innocent…
—-
If my family members were suffering as a result of the claimed  ATTEMPTED MURDER, I’d go right away to talk to the accuser…if I were innocent.
—–
If the accuser (loved or not…) required my input to complete a major task on behalf of all humanity? I’d go talk to him or her!  I’d go right away, if I were innocent…
—-
If the accuser requested gifts  from me, I would not comply.  I would BEG that we talk about the accusations…if I were innocent.
—-
If the accuser was absolutely wrong, and even if I had merely denigrated the accuser to family, friends, church, community and political allies, I would get on my knees and apologize, if I were innocent.
—-
But, that’s just me.  And you know what my dad said about me…
—————————————-

He who joyfully marches to music in rank and file has already earned my contempt. He has been given a large brain by mistake, since for him the spinal cord would suffice.

Albert Einstein

Read more at:    http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/a/alberteins161980.html#xdkuaDFc4vFGB3pQ.99

————————————–

 

——

9/19/14

7:25 pm

Dinner was a great success.  I’m not gonna hit 10,000 tonight so I gotta get up bright and early.  Cheers, all.

4:48 pm

Stuffing is in the oven, molten chocolate cakes are in cups waiting to be baked later.  I found for Josh a huge branch covered with “Old Man’s Beard” (lichen stuff he wanted for a project) and heard about his day and his political discussions with his co-workers.   I’ve updated all my topical pages today, most of them twice.  And I’ll have 10,000 posts on the regular news page today!

Not only did my parents damage my marriage by 1) taking the marital home, and 2) altering the studied dynamics of the relationship,  but also 3) causing George and me to distrust one another.  While they were slandering me publicly,  (and with their history of taking their concerns about me TO OTHER PEOPLE…) I was always wary when he took too long on an errand.  (“Too long” being relative, in his case.)  Their intervention of lies and calumny created for George a very difficult task trusting me, too.  Although we’d never lied to one another (except about if a dress looked nice.  See:  Madness and Politics) the distrust created by my parents proved irreparable.  (They also put us under surveillance, tried to kill me, ostracized my former friends…all these and MORE contributed to the end of the marriage!)  These ARE ONLY THE RESULTS OF SLANDER!
I’m not even finished describing  all the ways my parents destroyed ONLY  my  marriage yet!  I haven’t gotten to the children!  Or other relationships or anything!  What about the murder attempts!  Do I just talk about the physical near-misses and round off the suicide-gaslighting bullshit?  Am I going to have to go through ALL the COUNTS of EACH CRIME?
“Dear Lord, PLEASE give them the gift of repentance.  Soften their hearts. Please.”

—-

3:24 pm

There.  My body’s clean, perfumed, and lipsticked.  (I’m wearing girl pants!) I washed half the dishes and the other half are soaking.  Turkey’s in the oven and the onions and celery are cooked and seasoned. Stale bread is in a mixing bowl.   I fed the cat and dog and changed their water.  I put fresh ground coffee beans and water in the coffee pot for when I get up in the morning.  (Thanks Mom)  I’m letting my wounded finger air out while I read some politics and post them to the blog. I can sit here until George gets back from Curtis and tells me the adventure of his trip to the pharmacy for his high blood pressure meds.  At that time, I’ll go inside and turn the oven temperature down. (I used to do turkey drumsticks for my dad all the time, I used a Kosher-salt rub on them but now I just put them in brine like I use for all the other poultry and small pork pieces.)  I did a dumb thing stripping my bed and washing the sheets because I sure don’t want to be tucking in bedding with my finger hurting so bad.

2:07 pm

Coffee break.  I’ve been mowing but I don’t feel responsible to mow by Dad’s cabin this week.  I thought this picture was cute…it reminds me of him.

—-

2:48 pm

Update:   Done with the mowing.  I did in front of Dad’s cabin anyway.  I like doing things for people, just to be nice.  (I think that’s because I’m not a psychopath.)  My sister always did things just to be nice, she’s probably still like that.  My brother always has a reason, and a plan to control each donation.  I have onions and celery cooking in butter for dressing to go with the turkey.  I’ve mowed my dad’s cabin for months, and he never said thank you even one time.  Mowing his place isn’t even the responsibility of my youthful landlords!  Think I’ll go take a shower and get the turkey in the oven.  Josh will like to eat when he gets home from work.

1:12 pm

“This is a time of exposure, of revealing and of revelation in every sense of the word. Most of us are not seeing most of any of this at the moment and… so far up until this moment …but all of us are going to see a great deal more, whether we like it or not. The manner it impacts upon us will be directly relevant to how we process or refuse to process the information. Its intensity will be measured by the degree of ones self interest, juxtaposed with ones indifference to the needs of others.”

—–

12:23 pm

There is a difference between false responsibility, and true responsibility.  False responsibility is the mistaken sense that we must act on behalf of others.  Lots of reasons make us feel that way.  Upbringing is forefront, especially for eldest children and those whose parents are frequently absent.  Another reason some feel false responsibility is their perception that they are superior to others.  Sometimes, false responsibility is actually disguised show-boating.  A gentleman in our neighborhood suffered a crushing blow to his life and reputation. My mother was quick to “counsel” his family although I do not know that she’d ever been in the home before.  I can only guess why this might be, but it was certainly not true responsibility.
True responsibility has fewer origins.  If one is the only person ABLE to take necessary action, certainly he must.  Another source of true responsibility  is most common and the subject of much scripture, Christian and from other loving-paradigms.  IF YOU CAUSE A THING TO HAPPEN THAT NEGATIVELY AFFECTS OTHERS, YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE.  Ignoring true responsibility is 1) unlawful, 2) narcissistic, and 3) A SIN.
—-

I gave our friend  a piece of frozen lasagna to take home, and a bag of cookies.  I held his hand and  prayed that God would pour his glory on him and give him a vision of his destiny and allow him to know he’s more important than the VA says and to give him peace.

—-

11:41 am

A friend showed up asking for George’s help replacing a headlight.  I asked if he were hungry,  then I made him a plate of roast pork, risotto, cauliflower salad and braised cabbage.  I called to him that it was ready. He didn’t move and he didn’t move.  After a few minutes I walked over to them and said, “George, will you please release Friend to come inside and eat?”  He said yes, then Friend followed me in.  (George will leave people standing in the doorway as he talks to them from the steps for an hour.  “Would you like to come in”?  “Would you like to sit down?”  I’ve modeled that for quarter of a century.)   While I was inside I put the turkey thighs into brine.  I haven’t done any dishes today but my finger really hurts when I bend it.  Every time Friend goes into the house he comments about how clean it is.  Right.

I just realized George went in too, and I forgot to ask if he wanted something to eat.  My bad.  Fixing that right now.
“George I’m sorry I didn’t offer you anything to eat.  Do you want something?”  “No, I’m doing good, I’m eating a bowl of these sesame noodles.”  “Did you offer Friend any?”  “No.”  “Friend,  would you like to try some of these noodles?”  “Yeah, put ’em right there.”  I shot George a dirty look this time.
My mom can deny reality all she wants.  I’d describe our former marriage as “uniquely functional.”  Or at least “functioning” and it was “unique.”
——-
Bump to the top, from 9/12:

In 2011 or 2012, I went to my mother and begged her not to do this to us.  I said, “George is retarded!  Don’t call me crazy!”   Then I was gaslighted and nearly murdered.  She screamed, “George is not retarded” as she kicked me out of Dad’s office.  (My dad said otherwise for years.)

(I can look up the date if anybody cares.)

(Had to be 2012, because it was after they read my book.)

(They intentionally tore apart a Christian family and I can prove it.)

9:19 am

This is pretty funny. (Just when God told me he’s turning up the volume.)

Al Gore’s microphone fails while quoting Jesus on word ‘hypocrite’

—-

9:04 am

I’m texting my mom now:

Thank you for the coffee.  You just sound so silly.  I share God’s joyful expectation of the day you embrace truth.  Then you’ll be saved.

8:29 am

My mom just gave me about 5 pounds of coffee beans.  I took some chocolate chip cookies up to the office, and caught her just leaving.   I told her I’d like to get started on Josh’s passport.  She quoted Dad, “He’s working now and he can pay for it.”  I said, “Yeah, then he won’t be able to afford to go anywhere.  You and Dad destroyed my marriage and you should buy it.”  She said, “So we destroyed your marriage?  You chose to get a divorce.”  I said, “That was merely documentation of what you did.”  I patted her fondly on the ass and reminded her of the thousand pounds of evidence I maintain.
What a piece of work.  THEY STOLE THE MARITAL HOME!!!!!    
My dad’s at a Baptist men’s weekend.  I laughed out loud.  I sure hope they don’t make him testify!

—-

7:06 am

Morning prayer:

3:19 am

Try Before You Die – Macabre Festival Lets Japanese Try Out Coffins and Funeral Makeup

(Remember, the way you leave Earth is how you’ll be for all eternity!)

 

Service directory here:   http://www.odditycentral.com/pics/try-before-you-die-macabre-festival-lets-japanese-try-out-coffins-and-funeral-makeup.html

1:35 am

Neville Johnson said we Christians could prophesy anytime.  I thought I’d give it a shot:
Robert:  Be not deceived, thou art not alone caught…with your pants down.  (However, smarter guys didn’t take them all the way off and leave them across the room.)  Persistent dishonesty is like running with your trousers around your ankles.  Truth will set you free.
KK:  I dreamed I was leading some people through New York again.  (I often dream I’m lost in New York.) You helped me but your wife didn’t like it.  (It wasn’t Jackie, it was a very dark woman.)  You allowed me to wear a U of M sweatshirt that had something to do with your dad.  When your wife saw me with it she got very mad. (She said she was taking some kind of medicine because she had an inability to see darkness or to feel necessary fear.)
Adam:  You are the finest teacher in the world, and “almost thou persuadest me” to be a gamer.  I’d like to play twenty questions with you.  1) WHAT YOU DID TO ME WAS TERRIBLE.  Are you sorry yet?  2) Are you psychic, spiritual, or do they let just anybody loose in the lab?  3) When I saw you looking through the window with Satan…etc.  (When I build my gypsy wagon you’ll teach me how.)
George:  Dearly beloved, I wish we could talk about what was done to us but I fear we won’t be able to communicate this side of Heaven.  When you get there, look me up and we’ll laugh.  (We will finally get each other’s jokes.)
Prophet:  You told me to release my father and it broke a stronghold.  I learned since that I also had to release myself.  I’m very grateful that men like your father have existed in this world.  You must release yourself too.
Isaac:  I never lied to you in your entire life.  You were not encouraged to believe in Santa Claus or the Easter Bunny.  You’ve chuckled as men lied.  Have you inherited the misogyny gene?  You will be very proud of me and you will reconsider many things.
Josh:  You are the strongest, most disciplined person I ever met and I’m proud to know you.  You will be very blessed.
K S:  Your heart is the largest part of you.  Why do you persist in promoting smaller appendages?  If you could see yourself  through Heaven’s eyes you would be very hopeful.  Don’t let the bastards get  you down.
Vet:  I  asked George to call you but your number has been disconnected again.  I’m praying for you.   I have no prophecy for you.
Mayor:  
GH:  You don’t ever get miracles if you refuse to believe in them.
Wrestler:  Go get ’em.  I’ve known for  years that you’re destined for greatness.
Growmaster:  You are highly favored.  Highly favored.  I’m honored to know you.
Fundraiser:  “You reap what you sow.”
BP:  You have a heart of gold.  You will need balls of steel, and discernment in the days to come.
JD:  “Come unto me, all you who labor and are heavy-laden, and I will give you rest.”  (Jesus)
TA:  You’re elegance in an inelegant world.  Elegance means different things to an engineer and a fashion designer.  Influence wisely.
JCW:  
Waxing weird…maybe that’s enough for my virgin voyage…
1:54 am
Update:  It occurred to me that as I was considering important men, I never even thought of my brother.  Maybe it’s because I don’t know David?  Maybe if he were standing in front of me I’d get something.
Update 4:17
I got another one, spontaneously:
CS:  You are an encourager.  Encouragers stand in direct opposition to the accuser of the brethren.  I would encourage you and thank God for your interventions in this world.

12:54 am

I’ve been thinking about “right now.”  When my dad said, “Can’t talk right now” it implied eventual inevitability.  (He’s always said, “not now.”)  RIGHT NOW means…this is GONNA happen!  (Did you ever notice how similar are the Etta James song “At Last” and the following?)

—–

9/18/14

6:26   pm

I still haven’t heard from my dad, so I checked my phone to see if I had imagined the message.  It’s there, but I recorded it wrong earlier.  It says:

8:45 am

From:  Robert

“Can’t talk RIGHT now.  I’m on my way.”

(I didn’t record the “right”.)

(And he used an ellipsis, not two periods.  “Can’t talk right now…I’m on my way.”)

(He did use a period at the end.)

5:13 pm

Still think it’s a two-party system? When you vote it makes them smile.

Why do Brzenzinski (advisor to presidents beginning with Kennedy until today)  and Kagan (PNAC -Project for a New American Century) sound like the same guy?

I thought they were philosophical opponents?

                            Brzezinski / 1999  (Pearl Harbor quote)

Kagan & Friends / 2000 (New Pearl Harbor quote)

Kagan:   Section V of Rebuilding America’s Defenses, entitled “Creating Tomorrow’s Dominant Force”, includes the sentence: “Further, the process of transformation, even if it brings revolutionary change, is likely to be a long one, absent some catastrophic and catalyzing event––like a new Pearl Harbor”

Brzezinski:   “Moreover, as America becomes an increasingly multi-cultural society, it may find it more difficult to fashion a consensus on foreign policy issues, except in the circumstance of a truly massive and widely perceived direct external threat.”

“The attitude of the American public toward the external projection of American power has been much more ambivalent. The public supported America’s engagement in World War II largely because of the shock effect of the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor.”

(Interesting factoid:  George W. Bush, president worshiped  by BAPTISTS  in America, was a  PNAC-er.     Amen.)

—-

3:06 pm

I made guacamole with diced fresh jalapenos, and tartar sauce with capers, homemade relish, and sweet local onion.  North Atlantic cod  (DO NOT eat anything from the Pacific Ocean…) is thawing for tonight and I got out the utensils and set up a steel bowl with paper towels for frying.  I got turkey thighs out of the freezer for tomorrow.  I won’t bake today, maybe a loaf of bread, but not dessert.  We have cookies and leftover coconut cake. Tomorrow I’ll make molten chocolate cakes I think, so we can use up the rest of the ice cream from last week.  When George is at his mother’s, I’ll probably eat red meat.
The smoke-smell is beginning to dissipate in the house, or maybe I’m getting used to it again.  Josh is not coughing as badly today.  The zipper on one of my new boots broke; a guy in Marquette replaced a zipper in a tall boot for me once.  Maybe when I take Josh to get his passport photo, I can get a new zipper in my new boot. I’ll have to ask my dad for twenty extra dollars.  I’d also like to get the piano tuned. My cousin wouldn’t even play it when he was here.  I’m really rusty and  it’s hard to tell if I hit a wrong note!
My dad hasn’t shown up, or called.  I hope he didn’t lie to me again.  Way back, when God asked me if he could make me into a prophet, I began to pray about it.  After I agreed, I asked him daily:  “Set my face like flint.”  I don’t usually wear rubber gloves because I normally wash the cooking dishes at the same time I’m cooking.  I  got water into one of the gloves  so I hung it to dry from a clip on the cabinet.  By its middle finger.

—-

10:32 am

I’m growing very impatient; shouldn’t  it  be the opposite, since I’ve been waiting for so long?  I’m very impatient to see my father face my children with the truth and an apology.  I’m impatient to see my family again, and not be a pariah.  A homeless guy knew my story and said, “Your OWN FAMILY pariahed you?”  (I didn’t know it was a verb until then.)  Yes, when they couldn’t control me, they pariahed me.  He felt sorry for me… and I still had a home and a marriage, back then.
I went up to my dad’s office to remove, from his door, my “Public notice of Disavowal of Purported Agency Relationship” and it was gone!  (I had a scrape-blade and a little can of Oops.)  I was hoping to run into my dad to ask about Josh’s passport.  (His birthday is a week from today.)  It’s probably a good thing I didn’t see him. I’m cranky this morning.  The animals have followed me around for about twenty-four hours and I’m annoyed at them.   (I was distributing folded laundry to bedrooms and Connie followed me first one direction, then back again.  She carried her ball and dropped it behind  me every yard or so.  Josh said I must have “dropped the ball.”  I asked God about that.)   I’m out of coffee and haven’t had a cigarette since yesterday very early.  I want one so I think maybe my quitting is a move of the flesh.  When he tells me to stop a thing, I just don’t want it at all, and also he told me smoking was for a sign and that was 5 years ago so  who knows.  (I never thought he’d want me to smoke for so long.)  I DO KNOW though, I want my words from him to be accurate, and the Bible says, “But they also have erred through wine, and through strong drink are out of the way; the priest and the prophet have erred through strong drink, they are swallowed up of wine, they are out of the way through strong drink; they err in vision, they stumble in judgment.”  (Isaiah 28:7)
How can I ask him for pin-point accuracy, and not do everything I can to help?
—-
I texted my dad about the money for Josh’s passport, he didn’t answer my call.  Went to the bear’s den, they have new concrete by the gas pumps.  Wow, nicotine buzz.  Thank you God.  When I got back there was a text from my father.  It is curious in several ways (and I question the legality of its creation…) It said:  “Can’t talk now. I’m on my way.”   I mean, if he was driving, isn’t texting dangerous?   Also, it’s unusual for him to text me at all.  I think the last time was when he promised me dinner again, after we went to Pizza Hut.  That was early May.
—-
Josh might like to go to Gwinn for his birthday.  I told him he could take my car, so he’d feel more confident on such a long drive and he was grateful.  This morning I suggested to George (He’s AWAKE.) that maybe Josh could take HIS car, since that would be the safest.  He told me he’s leaving the day after Josh’s birthday, to go to his mother’s, for a week and a half, again.  Stunned, I asked, “Don’t you ever want to go anywhere in the world except your mother’s house?”   No.  His brother says  it’s a good weekend for fishing, in Minnesota.  (We live on a lake, but he doesn’t even have a Michigan fishing license.)  I’m very grateful he got propane so I won’t be left with no heat again.  I’m grateful that his family doesn’t pariah people.

——

2:56 am

Morning prayer surprise:

I’ve been in great travail this morning, for my parents.  My chest was stretched, like the skin would break. It was futility, I was feeling tremendous  futility trying  to roll away the stone in my father’s heart.  He knows his crimes, and he knows their effect on us, in nuanced detail.   (Seeing my dad’s absolute selfishness  freed me from fearing him.  I choose to  PITY a selfish bully.)   As I prayed, a word came out of my mouth that I don’t use in prayer, unless I’m quoting Jesus.  I said “Father.”  I prayed to Father-God for the first time I can remember.  I cried a lot when I said “Father.”  I thank Him for my earthly father’s shabbiness.   I’m looking forward to having a relationship with the Father.  Jesus would like that.

—-

9/17/14

11:32 am

Thinking about my father’s troubles;  I just can’t help it;  I’m compassionate.  Here’s his flawed  logic:  1)  Despite his history of force-feeding religion, my dad (demonstrably) does not care that God will hold him responsible for a) stealing faith from children, b) filicide, or c) lying all the time; and 2) he doesn’t care about his legacy.  It seems to me, if you’re going to die unsaved anyway,  shouldn’t you want at least, to die with a good reputation? (My records will be well-known.)  “Please don’t talk about me when I’m gone…”

—-

9:32 am

Josh put wood on the fire, he said a character in his dream was an over-dressed-plumpy with old-lady hair, and they called her “Marilyn-ish,  bourgeoisie, picks her own mantras daily.”  (The cut on my finger is still wide open but I washed dishes today.  George brought me some rubber gloves  last night and I’m really grateful.)  Josh told me about watching a video of “Epic Rap Battles from History” featuring, Putin, Stalin, Lenin, and Gorbachev.  He said Lenin won, because he was challenging two of the other guys at once, and often slammed them both with a single line that had multiple meanings.  (I liked the battle between George Washington and William Wallace.  Did you know George Washington was visited by angels?)  I had a vision this morning, I was still in bed but the view was from my normal spot, on the deck.  I saw two animals come dashing from the lakeside up to the stairs to my left.  I was startled and looked up from my work. I thought they were deer but when I turned my head, I saw that they had stopped right at the stair-gate, still facing north.  They were horses.  Did you know that William Wallace was 6’5″?  Did you know that Robert the Bruce died of leprosy?

—-

3:37 am

To all the America-worshipers among my readership:

Big Victory! UK Man Wins Court Case Against BBC for 9/11 Cover Up!

BBC announced falling of Building 7, while the building was still standing.

(Remember, Building 7 was not hit by a plane, ever.)

—-

9/16/14

7:05 pm

BUMP TO THE TOP for NEWCOMERS!

To newcomers, I challenged my dad in  2009.  I prayed a lot, often in my car, frequently all night and far from home.  My ex-husband knew where I was and it was none of my father’s business.  My father abducted my children and reported my behavior to the State Police (Derusha) and my (former) doctor (Hannert).  Then he influenced my then-husband to report on me so I could be arrested.  (Instead George called me and told me to go very far away.  I went to Minnesota.)  When confronted, my father refused to apologize or to make it right.  I challenged him thus: “I know Jesus is real.  I know your religion is fake.  You are now my enemy.  It will be your religion, or my faith.”  (Then he tried to kill me, tried to starve me out, destroyed my reputation, took my house, tried to drive me crazy, tried to murder me, yada, yada, yada.)  I was right.

————————————————————————————————————

6:56 pm

This has been a very good day.  1) I had a vision of God’s hand turning up a volume dial,  2) GEORGE GOT SOME PROPANE!, 3) my DAD CALLED JOSH to inquire about his health, 4) I made spicy sesame noodles with broccoli salad and cucumber salad and didn’t even wash dishes because my finger is still bloody, and 5)  Priscilla Van Sutphin posted the following prophecy from Jesus:

“Those in the church will also be judged who take too lightly how I feel about lying about others, and assuming the motives and intentions of others without knowing them; or knowing them and purposely deceiving others about them, slandering and destroying people with their lying words. Murderous spirits abound in the church and it should not be so among my own.”

Read more from Priscilla Van Sutphin, from 9/15:   http://ft111.com/priscilla.htm

2:49 M

I put this on my dad’s page, but I’m putting it here too because I really like her outfit.

“You refuse to put anything before your pride.  What I got will knock your pride aside!”

Tell me something good…

2:44 am

Bump to the top:

Seriously, if my father knew my heart on the matter, he might be willing to tell me what I need to know.  (My evidence is already known by the orange-jumpsuit guys.  It will not affect a criminal investigation.  He had no idea, I suspect, of how very well the spies do their job.)  I bear him no ill will.  I thank  him for his pains!  I am GRATEFUL that I went through all that torture:  I KNOW.  And I will never be silent.  I asked God for an opportunity to do something big as I milked goats and nursed babies.  I WANTED TO DO SOMETHING FOR GOD!  My father’s participation is irrelevant.  Irrelevant to me, that is.  His participation is eternally relevant for him.

—-

2:22 am

I got up at about 12:30 am (internet was out yesterday and I had work to do.)  George turned off the TV and got up to BUILD A FIRE.  I said, “I have an electric heater in my room and Josh is sick.”  He said, “Yeah?”  The fireplace fan was still blowing from the fire I left him.  Cold air.
Gaddafi sat upright on the back of a chair for half an hour…looking at the ceiling.  Looking all over.  George said he even got up on his hind legs, but I didn’t see it.  He was watching something we couldn’t see.  I said there were spirits in the house.  I’m sure that’s true.

—-

1:44 am

It’s a puzzle to me, that many people believe all other people think like they do.  (As you can imagine, I’m given no opportunity for that delusion.)  I recognize that when people attack another,  they expect the victim to  react as they would if attacked.  My folks and neighbors  believed me capable of heinous crimes as I prayed for them every day.  What does that say about them?

1:23 am

Ever bless a stranger?  Just under your breath, wish him joy and peace in the Lord?  My great-grandpa Isaac used to do that.  His son Herb said I pray just like him.  For years, every time an ambulance goes by, I pray for its occupants.  I pray for the Manistique bus that runs by my house every morning.  (I told the driver about it one time, he seemed pleased.  He was wearing a cross.)  We’re supposed to bless, and to remit sin whenever we see it happen.  (Remitting sin opens up God’s way to provide light and life to the sinner.)  I rarely curse anybody, although I’ve been tempted to curse my father many times.  I think yesterday I did.  (It felt nice to use God’s vocabulary rather than words I might have chosen myself.)

——

9/15/14

3:25 pm

Psalm 109:1-4
Hold not thy peace, O God of my praise.  For the mouth of the wicked and the deceitful are opened against me. They have spoken against me with a lying tongue.  They compassed me about with words of hatred, and fought against me without a cause.  For my love they are my adversaries, but I give myself unto prayer.
26-31
Help me, O Lord my God, oh save me according to thy mercy, that they may know that this is thy hand, that thou, Lord, hast done it.  Let them curse, but bless thou; when they arise, let them be ashamed, but let thy servant rejoice.  Let mine adversaries be clothed with shame, and let them cover themselves with their own confusion, as with a mantle.  I will greatly praise the Lord with my mouth, yea I will praise him among the multitude.  For he shall stand at the right hand of the poor, to save him from those that condemn his soul.
 —
(When my father and my mother forsake me, then the Lord will take me up.  Psalm 27:10)
Psalm 109:16-22
Because he remembered not to show mercy, but persecuted the poor and needy man, that he might even slay the broken in heart–
As he loved cursing, so let it come unto  him, as he delighted not in blessing, so let it be far from him.
As he clothed himself with cursing as with his garment, so let it come into his inward parts like water, and like oil in his bones.
Let it be unto him as the garment which covereth him, and for a girdle wherewith he is girded continually.
Let this be the reward of mine adversaries from the Lord, and of them that speak evil against my soul.
But do thou for me, O God the Lord, for thy name’s sake; because thy mercy is good, deliver thou me.
For I am poor and needy and my heart is wounded within me.

10:30 am

“Simplification will seem strange at first to most, but it’s oh so rewarding. There’s an initial detox period, and those close to you may not like it one bit, as they’re used to the massive amounts of distracting stimuli around them and feel lost and lonely without it. That’s part of the societal mind control program, to overload the conscious mind so everything they’re dumping into us to traumatize us can be suppressed and stored in the subconscious, awaiting activation by their many triggers to bring about desired societal reactions. It’s all about unresolved issues and playing upon them, hence the overload.”
 —
“Sell to finance your awaiting freedom, give away, dump, whatever you have to do. It’s so bad for the soul. This accumulation addiction is pure weight and baggage and based in scarcity programming, which morphs into greed.”

—-

9:13 am

I wonder if Dad would talk to me if I looked like this.  Bet he would.  She also has tattoos and he talks to lots of girls about their boobs and tattoos.  Even girls who work for him.Her claim to fame is having Australia's biggest fake boobs and she has a huge following on social media with almost 107,000 like on Facebook

3:03 am

MUSIC  BREAK

—-

9/14/14

8:21 pm

My dad’s world is not like the rest if ours.  I’ve seen  no evidence that his world  is real.  There exists much evidence opposing his world view.  My dad thinks it’s OK for America to bomb other countries to provide bankers with bigger profits.  This US capitalism is not sustainable, and it hurts people.  He thinks boys are better than girls, but I’d challenge him to any of the following:  1) a roster of weekly work performed,  2) an evaluation of spontaneous compassion, or 3) an IQ test.  My dad thinks he’s the boss of everybody.  But, people who punch his time-clock go home to lives just as important as his.  He’s absolutely delusional!  Who said he gets to tell people what they may do?  Who said he gets to eliminate “problem” children?  Who ….wait.  I know the answer.
He’s a dark cloud on the earth.  He was intended to spread living water but he’s only blocking the light.  He’s darkness, inside and out.  He knows it.  He knows it and it haunts him.  He does not yet believe that he will not get away with his selfishness, and his lies, but soon he will know.  (I’m astonished, actually.  It’s been years and he still will not tell the truth.) His nights must be lonesome and scary.  His money must crinkle with portent.  He must hear demons’ voices every day.  I cannot imagine being my dad.  “Lord, have mercy on him and give him the gift of repentance, please?”  “Don’t let him die with the blood of my family on his hands.  In the name of Jesus, I remit his sins.  I give them to you Lord!  Please allow him to repent before he dies!  Give him goodness, and genuine caring.  Give him YOU!”

—-

8:43 pm
“Complexity onto complexity, abstraction onto abstraction, further and further down the rabbit hole of mathematics until the entire mental world these men (all men) occupied was so far away from reality that full noonday sunlight seemed to it like the twinkling of a distant star.”

The Purging of Scottish Madness

3:13 pm

“WARNING: The views expressed on Facebook can and will be used against you. Participation in Facebook could prove detrimental to the length of your life. All political dissident views are immediately reported to the CIA and the NSA. Risk of repeated exposure on Facebook could result in you and your family being hauled out of their homes at 3AM, separated from your family and sent to a re-education camp”.   (Dave Hodges)

Read more at http://investmentwatchblog.com/facebook-poses-a-threat-to-every-american/#DzMcolQYZi8ucrEo.99

—-

9:56 am

Josh is up.  We argued about cheese characteristics.  Sliced versus shredded, blend versus sharp cheddar.  We GOTTA GET OUT OF HERE and everybody knows that.  Come hither, yon father.  Do thee right by thy fiirstborn.  Or not.  Your choice.

—-

9:27 am

Josh would like to experience new things every day.  So would I.  We live in Helmer and we use more than our fair share of bandwidth.  My father could rectify this, and he will.  I’m going into the house soon, to season the meat that Josh is slicing.  (We want things different, all the time. )  Josh’s father demands sameness with emasculated groans.  We’ll do this thing.   We’ll both be happy, and so will those who remain.  I’ll make the meat taste like tacos.  Josh will like that.

9:03 am

To my “Christian” parents:  Yeah!  What about it?  You helped Chris when she got knocked up at sixteen but you would NEVER help me?  What about that?  She’s a very fine human being, but she was conceived in iniquity just like me.  Get WITH THE PROGRAM!  I was lawfully married when I gave birth.  Where’s my share?
(The only time you ever babysat for me was when I was in the hospital giving  birth to Josh!  What gives?)
My finger really hurts and I can’t haul wood.

—-

8:50 am

I respect my sister more than most anybody I know.  I told her that in a letter.  (She didn’t respond, probably because Dad told her I was crazy.)  She did very hard things.  I helped her.  I slept with Megan in my bed a lot of nights.  Mom and Dad gave her lots of support.  She did hard things but she won’t talk to me.  This is seriously deranged.  906-291-1376.  (She did send me the GREATEST COAT EVER!  It’s purple and brown and lime green!  She’s a lot of fun.)

—-

8:36 am

My mother has paid doctors’ bills for me in the past.  She was on the hospital board.  (Maybe she still is, she doesn’t talk to me.)  She’d occasionally pay a bill when it embarrassed her to see her name on the “Past-due”  list.  She cares what people think.  She is out of her element, on a hospital board.  She’s a teacher.  She should teach.

—–

8:28 am

I just heard a rooster.  That’s a first.  I took the bandage off of the sliced finger.  It’s a bad cut, Josh wanted me to go get stitches but I have no money.  He said, “Grandpa would pay.”  Sweet child.

7:51 am

My dad set about consciously, to destroy my sons’ trust in me.  I know this for a number of reasons.   One time he even said to me, “Your boys STILL love you!”  He shook his head.  (He was trying to lock me up at the time.) He and Mom would always shake their heads if anybody liked me.  I heard, “George really loves Linda…” Puzzled looks all around.  Kinda hard to maintain a good self-concept in the face of that.  Yet, it is not I who live but Christ who liveth in me.  My self-concept is a mutual thing now.  As long as I pray every day to hear his voice and do his will perfectly, he thinks I’m cool  and so do I.  I’m enjoying the bit of freedom I’ve finally tasted.
“Freedom’s just another word for nothin’ left to lose.”  (Janis Joplin.  Me and Bobbie McGee.  Can you believe I heard it first by Roger Miller? )  My dad taught me this song.  He used to sing.  He’d sing, “My gal’s a corker, she’s a New Yorker, I buy her everything to keep her in style…”  (He also sang “Colonel  Maggie.”  Another Roger Miller song.)   Isolation and deprivation are very good for the soul.  An isolated depriviant must find something within his/her self.  It’s there.  Jesus is there and he’s beyond sufficient.  He makes you strong.
I like feeling strong, but I’d also like freedom to lower the hackles.  I’d like to cuddle and sigh.  I’d like to be safe in the knowledge that I will not freeze or wind up on the street.  I’d like physical security.  I’d like to experience positive regard, I pass it out freely.  I’d like to put a nasty part of my life behind me, and to rebuild relationships with my siblings in the flesh, and in the Lord.  I’d like to finish this up if you please.  I have a destiny to fulfill and I’m stymied by the curses spoken against me.  “I bind them in the name of Jesus and drench them in his shed blood.  I release, by the Spirit of God, finances and opportunity.  I release my father from the bonds of sin and death”.  (“Can I really do that, Lord?  Wow.”)  “I release my children from the taint of their relationships, to me and to their grandparents.  I free them, in the name of Jesus, to become everything intended.  Everything wonderful.  Everything fulfilling.  Amen.”
—-
8:10 am
Update:  That’s how you do it, parents.  Churchfolk.  Anybody listening.  That’s how you minister “reconciliation.”  That’s our job.  Get with the program.

6:51 am

You know what it’s like to wake up in the morning and tell yourself, “You’re doing GREAT!”?  Everybody should experience this.  I was doing exploits while I was being tortured and had to go give speeches every day.  I knew I was doing OK but I had to drag myself into the shower.  It was a really unpleasant time.  Now, I KNOW I’m doing great and it feels great.  I don’t feel condemnation about myself or my activities, I speak truth  and try to ease suffering wherever I see it.  God is on my side and no weapon formed against me will prosper, or has.  “Thank you Lord, for sending your Spirit to us.  More fire please.”

—-

6:12 am

“Beauty is a Safety Valve for people.”

—–

5:39 am

5:45 am

David, I want to be your friend too but you’re so artificial I don’t know where to grab on.  Is there one thing that TRULY matters to you?  You’re a devoted father but I’ve given tons of hats and mittens to your kids when they were in your custody.  They drink POP incessantly.  (Drewbie does, did, I don’t really know anymore.)   I think your parenting rebounded from Dad  too far.  Mine  did too, I used to require the boys to pull down their pants and lie really still or I’d hit them more.  I should have encouraged them, and I do now.  We were raised wrongly and we both know it.  Please, show me  your face one time?

My brother and my father raped me.  Then they refused to comfort me for years.  Then they threw stones.  “God, bless them always.”

—–

5:24 am

David knew what was happening to me.  I don’t yet know how he knew, but he knew.  Bloody hands.

I sent this to David.  Do you think he’ll get it?  (We always used to laugh twice, if David got the joke.)

—-

5:11 am

The doubt-dips are much shallower now.  Kinda fun, really.

(I’ve asked for the gift of faith to rest on me always.)

5:08 am

MUSIC BREAK!

—–

4:56 am

What is it about Chuck Reed?  Didn’t you already buy him one house?  He’s got something on you, right?  Just guessing.  He’s got PT Barnum beat

—-

4:53 am

I don’t want a lot of money; Dad knows this.  (He was always pissy about my lack of ambition.  I aspired to different things.)  I want a lot of FRIENDS!  I want to hear a new song every day.  I want conversations that last long into the night and resume after blissful slumber.  I want to be HAPPY.  Don’t you?  Down deep?  Dad, don’t you want to be happy?  And not scared and covering your ass all the time?  Let’s be FRIENDS!  I would be your best mate and you know it.  But you can’t get over the Jesus thing where you told him you’d do a thing and then you refused to do it.  Because I showed up.  Am I right?  Have I always been a visual indicator of what you failed to do?  Just guessing.

—-

God says I’m still too self-defensive.  He reminds me that I’m doing well, and that his servants require no defense.  He reminds me that I’ve only spoken truth (except the part about Shawn going to Dad’s hotel.  I think I remembered it wrong.  I think I went with Kevin and Kevin showed Shawn pictures later.  I know I didn’t go into my dad’s rooms anyway.)  (Do you know my dad has actually called me into the bathroom, as he shat, to talk to me?  On the extremely rare occasion he would talk to me in my life…the shithouse.  No shit.)  (I say this for fun!  I say this to get it out!  I was saving it to defend myself on some point that may arise!  Freedom in the shithouse!)  I don’t ever feel sorry for myself anymore.  My dad’s been such a jerk that  it’s like  I’m watching a comedy!  I loved him so much I couldn’t see the prick standing there!  (God, have mercy on my mother.)  (And my brother and sister…and EVERY SINGLE PERSON WHO EVER MET MY DAD!  “Amen.”)  It’s fun telling the truth for Truth’s sake.  It feels a lot better than covering your ass.
Hey Dad, did you or did you not shit on your daughter every day of her life because she loved Jesus?  There’s a question.  I just remembered something pretty funny.  Remember when I got hit?  Adam called it “The Linda Goldthorpe Saga.”   Little did we know.  Pay up.
And when you get his phone number text me with it.  We have unfinished business.

—-

11:32 pm

I got up to cook Josh some pork sirloin, with leftover garlic mashed potatoes.  I asked if George wanted any, “No.”  I asked if he’d help me carry wood into the house. because I cut my finger.  “No, Linda, I’ll do it, Linda.”  The vents from the hallway ceiling fan were open.  He said there was some smoke in the house.  Josh reported smoke as well.  I slept through the crisis.  We smell like smoke all the time.  George is lying down.

——

7:53 pm

I need a bath.  I haven’t taken a bath since last year when Shawn was letting me live in his hotel.  Nice guy, nasty vocabulary.  We’re going to be best friends.  Kevin took him to my dad’s place in St Ignace to take pictures of pillows and duvets.  I didn’t go.  I’ve seen it.  I saved Shawn  hundreds of dollars repairing ratty bedspreads.  He thinks you’re cool, Dad.  He was impressed when that Comfort Inn inspector mistook me for David’s daughter.  (Scout’s honor.  Kevin heard it too.)    I think you could talk Shawn into a reasonable deal.  And you should.  Unless you have cash for me in the bank.  In that case, YOU’RE REALLY STUPID.
Anyway, I don’t take baths.  My toenails suffer.  The only bathtub in this house in in George’s room, and besides I don’t have the time.  I am COMPELLED to record every detail of my life.  I’ve been thus compelled for years now.  (Served me well, though.  I have records of EVERYTHING.  Nobody can lie about me anymore.)  I took a shower finally, Josh taped a baggie around my injured finger.  My left wrist hurts sometimes too.  I get shooting pains running from the ball of my hand down my arm.  I don’t ever get pain.  This means something.  I take showers fast, really fast.  I’m compelled to rejoin with this documentation of truth and injustice.
So, it looks to me, that I shall be a prophet.  I never quite believed it but the evidence is mounting up.  The mountain of evidence says I’ve been right 99.9 percent of the time.  I pray for pin-point accuracy, as I hear from God.  My stats must improve, and I must improve.  I must REEK of love.  I must not require the summoning of forgiveness from my heart; I must not notice the offense to begin with.  I wonder what I’ll do?  I wonder what he’s doing?  “I Wonder as I Wander out under the sky.”  (Unknown)   The lake is pink and blue tonight.  I love that.
I didn’t use any “product” on my hair because I didn’t want to try to wash it from one hand without help from the other.  In the morning, I’ll look six inches taller!

3:34 pm

I wake up starving, I always do.  I must be in love.  When you’re in love, everything tastes good and one scoop is too many and a thousand is not enough.  I’m eating two-part leftovers, which are hard for the boys to figure out.  I do not regularly see in the Spirit.  (Sometimes I do.)  Some people see all the time.  Sadhu Sundar Selvaraj sees Jesus every time he prays.  I’ve been blinded, but it’s been a good thing.  I am a wimp, and it’s good that I don’t see the forces I’m dealing with.  Soon I shall.  They’re toast.   I’ve had amazing conversations with entities I could not see.  I argued with Jesus once, he was sitting in the room.  I knew it in a thousand ways.  I could not see him.  He persuaded me to do the thing that keeps me safe today.  I can’t wait to see his eyes.  If I saw my dad through spiritual eyes, I’d be very frightened.  Jesus has not given us a spirit of fear.  Pretty soon I’ll graduate.
Too flakey?  Flakiness disappears whenever a human approaches me.  I can shake it off instantaneously.  I can engage in discourse of a material matter without missing a beat.  I do it all the time.  I live with George.

—-

1:23 pm

Such an honor!  Jesus is here!  He is singing, “One Toke Over the Line.” and I’m laughing.  (And crying, he’s SO BEAUTIFUL!)  He’d like to address marijuana.  I’m very small.  “I am the Lord thy God.  I created Heaven and Earth.  You people are insane.  Wake up and smell MY ROSES.  Linda would like to have fun, and I’m gonna give her some.  Back off.  You heard it here first, on Roller Derby.”  (Eagle call.  In motion.)
 —
(Personal note, Jesus said I could:  “Linda is herself now.  Linda would like fun.  Linda doesn’t expect anything.  Linda watches the eagle and types as she hears things.Linda will no longer refer to herself in the third person.”)  (I heard “Roller Derby” and I said, “Seriously?”  The NSA has the tape…)

——

1:08 pm

12:52
Eagle sounds Stationary.
1:03 pm
I’m a very jealous person, but I don’t think you could prove it.  I’m intensely jealous for things I value.  Of true value, I want everything.  I want to look in Jesus’ face and talk to him all the time.  I want to touch him and live with him and never have to leave.  (I’m hearing a melody as I write this.  Wish I could share it.)  Jesus is so fine, and so valuable, and so PLEASANT.  I want all of him.  (This sounds like bride-talk, doesn’t it?  Oh, I really hope he picks me.)
(“I’m giving my whole life to the world, just like you said to.  Then I’ll get to be alone with you, right?”)

—-

12:48 pm

I was kind of in a haze, a bit ago.  Company, two guests showed up at the same time.  They only wanted to talk about 1) self-mutilation, 2) violence of other genre, or 3) drugs.  It was hazy.  I told them I was loopy from blood loss and Josh is sick.  They left pretty quickly after that.  (I’ve never done that before, I don’t think.  I don’t send people away very often.)  Now I got set in a bit of circumstances, Baptists.  I was tortured.  My father tried to kill me.  I asked for help EVERY DAY!  You are not Christians.  Selah.  Every one of you has eaten my cooking.  I’ve played music and forced my son to entertain you, when he’d most better praise GOD.  Think on these things.
(I guess the newbies never ate my food.  Nice not knowin’ ya.)

—–

12:27 pm

Personally, I think this is getting funny guys.  Here I’ve been for YEARS preaching truth and justice, and love for one’s fellow man.  I can prove it.  I can prove every day of the years you blackballed me.  I was not only entirely lucid, I was a whole lot smarter than you guys.  You Baptist people have refused to talk about God to me for a long, long time.  Why does a black pick-up truck stop in front of my house and turn around and go back again?  Looks like Ruth Reed, whatever.  She said I was full of the devil then kicked me out of the “house of the Lord.”  Unbelievable.  Such impostors.  I wish them much love and fruitfulness when they finally realize who Jesus is.  God is making “one new man.”  (It’s in the book, look it up.)  He is doing this thing now.  And he’s doing it within us.  Be there or be square.  This is the real deal.  Jesus is here.  He’s coming in stages, just like the first time.  I do not know when his physical appearing will be and I do not care.  I want all I can get of him, right this minute.

(I don’t know about y’all, but what I just wrote sounds pretty John the Baptist to me.)

—–

7:48 am

I gashed my left index finger really bad putting wood on the fire.  Josh said the good news is that it bled so much it won’t get infected.  I cried in front of him.  I said, “I’m so tired of living with a stupid man!   Most women my age have heat!”  The  bandage is soaked through, so I’m going to get him again.
Josh taped my finger with some gauze.  Tightly,  to stop the bleeding.  I was crying and asked him to get the wood.  He’s sick.  He said he feels just as bad as I do but he’d get the ‘frigging wood.’  I said that I have kept him warm for years.  He said, “You’re a very negative person.”  I said, “No.  I am an extremely positive, mucho positive person, but most women my age have heat.  We live with a very kind man…but he’s stupid.”  (I don’t know if we’re talking anymore.)

6:32 am

Thought I’d share my morning prayer.  Interpreted:  “Even so, Lord Jesus come.”

(It sounds just like a Psalm of David.  I cry my pillow wet some nights, when Jesus doesn’t show up.)

—-

6:20 am

(I’m laughing but it’s not like a child yet.  It’s still a bit bitchy.)

—-

5:59 am

I accidentally watched a Burberry ad and I wanted to puke.  I saw gorgeous women, and close-ups of their eyes. They brushed lips and squirted perfume.  I didn’t see a PRODUCT.  What the hell are they selling?  I’m amazed that the most influential people in our zeitgeist PRETEND for a living.  (I should not be amazed.  Pretending is very valued.  Those who do it well should probably make out.)  Remember Marcus Welby, MD?  He did ads for pain pills or something and said, “I’m not a doctor, but I play one on TV.”  None of us is what we portray.  We are humble organisms, with the potential for eternal greatness.  But we mess around with costumes and screenplays.  Humanity is pitiful and childish.  Judges, they’re the best.  Even better than Hollywood.

—-

5:48 am

“We are the the circumcision, worshiping God in the Spirit.  Speaking in other tongues.”  (Neville Johnson, Paul)
“You know not what you should be praying for, but I’ll pray through you so it comes to pass.”
Jude:  “He that speaketh in an unknown tongue enlargeth his spirit.”  The apostle Paul said, “I speak in tongues more than you all.  We are the circumcision now, we worship God in the Spirit”  “All things work together for good”…only when you’re praying in the Spirit, because he’s praying the perfect will for you.  Destiny. “Prayer is learning to rule with the Lord.”  (Johnson)

—–

4:23  am
I slept in.  I think there were enough coals remaining to restart the fire.  We’ll see if it takes off.  We all smell like woodsmoke for about 9 months a year;  it doesn’t usually begin this early.  Dad bought me some propane once. Only because George took the boys to Minnesota for Thanksgiving and left me fireless.  I texted Dad for days, requesting help with the chimney, then  I ran into him pumping gas.   I said, “Do you actually want me to freeze to death?”   (Patrick overheard.  I think that’s why he helped me that time.)   (Stupid question, in retrospect.)

—–

9/12/14

8:40 pm

Josh said Grandpa gave him some  good advice.  Grandpa told him that when he’s working a job he should not have his hands in his pockets.  (Josh says it makes people mad.)  Grandpa  gave me that advice too.  I know better now.  When you’re working a job, your hands should be OCCUPIED.  Wouldn’t it have been better if my dad told Josh to FIND SOMETHING THAT NEEDS DOING AND DO IT?  My dad is all about appearances.  That’s kinda sad.

—–

8:32 pm

My dad is Big Man On Campus once again.  I drove by my cousin Kathy’s cabin and saw lamplight through the window.  The faker’s car is in the driveway.  I saved that house from burning down, a couple years ago.  I was out praying, very late, and spotted a chimney fire.  Maybe I saved some lives, too.  I pounded on the door and woke up the family.  I got my dad to come. Maybe he won’t be so lucky next time.  I’m lucky to have around.  I’m just plain lucky.

7:24 pm

No call from my dad.  If I could do  the calculations for SLANDER, I can do them for all his other crimes.  How many times did Moses have to go before Pharoah?  Hard hearts, these dictators.

—–

2:51 pm

OK, Dad,

I’m not good with numbers, but I’ll take a crack at it.  When you took my home away, it was probably worth half a million.  (Not anymore.)  That’s 250,000.  Right?  (George owned the other half.)  My law license was easily worth a million at the age I was.  1.25.  Right?  My marriage had sustained for twenty years, let’s give it 10 thousand a year.  (Excuse me.  I have to find a pencil.)  Is that 200 thousand?  OK, we got 1.45 million.  The affection of my children, how is such a thing to be valued?  A MILLION DOLLARS!  My reputation was my only ticket in this world of trust and paychecks.  ANOTHER MILLION.  OK, that’s 3.25.  Pain and suffering.  Punitive damages. Interest on sums unpaid.  I’m willing to round it off.  3.5 million.   Thank you very much.  Minus the thousand you gave me when I went to serve the paralyzed man, 10,000 for my first campaign, 800 for clothes, and five dollars and eighty one cents you’ve given me once every three months for two years.  (What an asshole.)   (And  adding 3.5 million for George.  He used to be my other half. UNTIL YOUR EFFORTS DESTROYED MY MARRIAGE)
Totaling:  6,988,152,20    (I’m easily correctable.  Tell me where I erred.)
(I’m off by 4 cents times 8.  I figured it with the wrong dividend amount.)
(BUT RIGHT NOW I WANT A PASSPORT FOR MY SON AND A FEW HUNDRED DOLLARS TO TAKE HIM TO SEE HIS BROTHER.  THIS IS AN IMMEDIATE NECESSITY.)
—-
You’ll notice I did not include compensation for attempted murder.  That’s God’s business.
(Excuse me now, I have to go put more logs on the fire.)

—-

11:30 am

I posted this to my dad.  God said I’ll be a lady again:

Please release me, let me go
For I don’t love you anymore
To waste our lives would be a sin
Release me and let me love again

I have found a new love, dear
And I will always want her near
Her lips are warm while yours are cold
Release me my darling, let me go

Please release me, let me go
For I don’t love you anymore
To waste my life would be a sin
So release me and let me love again

Please relaese me can’t you see
You’d be a fool to cling to me
To live a life to bring us pain
So release me and let me love again

Let me love
Let me go

Dearest, beloved father,
You have cut me off at the knees every time I had an idea since I was small.  My ideas are no longer my own, nor do they require your assistance.  (I ask for money when I am told to do so.)  LET IT GO!  You’re a CONTROL FREAK and you shot down every single thing I ever wanted to do in my life!  (And, some of my pursuits  went well.)  GIVE IT UP.  You’re a loser, you’re very much a loser in the spiritual sense.  You bind me to you with your grandiose “Lin, I’m not gonna do that.”  You will burn, I cannot help you.  (YOU could, but that’s another story.)  You DID destroy much monetary value in my existence.  Make it right, and I’ll never love you again nor request your love.  I do not need you.  I’ll change my name!  (I’d love to.)  I’ll deny my parentage!  (Wouldn’t you love that.)  Money can buy my cessation of Robert-torment but  “Money can’t buy me love.”  (Beatles).   DO IT AND I WILL LEAVE YOU ALONE.  It is obvious you’re too big a wienie (small a wienie?) to help me be a hero.  BUT, you gotta pay your dues.  You stole many things from me.  (Do you want me to start wailing on David?  I thought not.  He is not up to the task, right?)  LET ME GO.  I do not like being 1) related to you, 2) criticized by you, or 3) (HAH)  instructed by you.  And your woman is as cold as Hillary’s tit.  Gimme a check and we’re finished.  (Unless.  Maybe, unless.  Maybe…you WANT TO BE LOVED?)  (For a good time call 906-291-1376)
(The “Hillary’s tit” thing I used a couple years ago.  I feel guilty if I’m not spontaneously creative every moment so I had to confess.  Neither parent responded.)

11:05 am

Josh is at work, George is still sleeping.  Good thing I got up at four because the fire was almost out!

—-

10:37 am

I’m going to the store and wearing the new boots my dad bought me.  (Ebay, much cheaper.)  It’s hard to tuck Josh’s old sweat pants into them, and my girl pants are in the laundry.  Pretty soon I’ll have TWO pairs of girl-pants.

—-

10:18 am

I sent another text to my dad:

LAST WEEK YOU GAVE ME EIGHT HUNDRED DOLLARS FOR CLOTHES!  NO PASSPORT?  WHERE ARE YOUR PRIORITIES?

(Fool.  I do not say that lightly because I believe the Bible.  My father is a FOOL.)

—-

10:06 am

I sent another text to my dad:

“One thing I never figured is  you being stupid.  I love you just the same.”

—-

9:58 am

My dad won’t buy his grandson a passport.  How does that figure?  He thinks international travel is valuable.  When he planned to take us all to Scandinavia he got really pissed that I wouldn’t go.  (I had received  campaign contributions from people who depended on me to be in America, to CAMPAIGN.)  He is not consistent.  This is aberrant behavior.  He’s mentally ill.

Also, he believes his will is more important than the political process of the government he screws.  (I mean that positive, and negative.  You gotta know my dad.)   I’m sorry.  You cannot say you support America, then act as a dictator.  (Obama, be warned.)

(Last week he gave me 800 dollars for CLOTHES!  WHERE ARE THIS MAN’S PRIORITIES?)

9:43 am

My father repeats a sentence:  “I’m not gonna do that.”  This statement defines rebellion.  Rebellious people say, “I’m not gonna do that.”  I say, every day, “I’ll do whatever you wish for me to do.”  My parents called me rebellious but it’s their tiny heels I see dug into the ground, and their tiny fists flailing against righteousness.  I’m chuckling.  I see my mom in a frilly skirt.  (Dad wore one too when he was little, I have a photo…)

9:27 am

I got ahold of my father!  He REFUSES to pay for Josh’s passport!  He said, “Josh is working, he’s a good lad.”  I said, “Yes, he is a good lad, and I am a good woman, and he’s an adult, and he requires a passport, and you destroyed my marriage, and you should buy this thing.”  He said, (God, is he redundant…) “I’m not gonna do that.”  JUST WATCH AND SEE.  Amen.  (“Forgive me Lord, for rising up.  Your will be done. Amen.”)

He thinks it’s about money!  I said, “This is about submission!”

PS-  He did answer a question though, and he never does that.  I asked, “Where you at?”  He said, “I’m in St. Ignace.”  I wonder if he is?

9:31 am

I sent my dad a one-word text:  Pitiful

9:04 am

I called my dad.  (Can you BELIEVE he’s not answering his phone at this late hour?)  Anyway, I left a message and I told him how I cleaned the fallen tree out of his driveway and that I need money to get Josh a passport.  Man, when I was a kid, if the phone rang he’d stop criticizing  mid-bitch, to answer with sweetness in his tone.  (Of course he never lost his place, and could pick  up right where he left off after the “customer” hung up.)

—-

8:01 am

Michigan is a “no-fault” divorce state.  (There is no defense to a complaint for divorce.)  However, FAULT is considered when determining spousal support.  (Alimony)  The offending party is more likely to be required to support his/her/THEIR  ex-spouse(s).  My marriage was destroyed, and also was George’s.  The offenders owe each of us lots of money.  At their leisure, God doesn’t have a clock.

(I wondered how 3.5 million was enough to explain the prophecy I had that Dad would be left with only 1) the Big Boy in Manistique, and 2) the hotel next to it.  I told him about it many years ago.  I did not know it would have anything to do with me.)  (Or George.)

7 million.  7 million.  Should I call Shawn?

I put this on my dad’s personal page but thought I’d share it here too:

PS-  I am not a gambler and I couldn’t bluff if I tried.  Haven’t you always told me that everything I think is always on my face?  “Stop looking like that…etc.”  No wait, Mom said that.  You never looked at my face.  Pervert.)

7:24 am

In 2011 or 2012, I went to my mother and begged her not to do this to us.  I said, “George is retarded!  Don’t call me crazy!”   Then I was gaslighted and nearly murdered.  She screamed, “George is not retarded” as she kicked me out of Dad’s office.  (My dad said otherwise for years.)

(I can look up the date if anybody cares.)

(Had to be 2012, because it was after they read my book.)

(They intentionally tore apart a Christian family and I can prove it.)

—-

5:27 am

MUSIC BREAK!

“This ship is goin’ down, desperately I need a song,

A song to sing so we can carry on!

Let it be sung so we can carry on.”

9/11/14

10:18 pm

9:50 pm

There was a long line at the Bear’s Den, because of a girl who kept having to put things back, because she didn’t have enough money.  She was very thin with a remarkable ass.  She had a huge bag of dog food and a case of Pepsi but couldn’t afford the pancake mix and syrup.  People were complaining. Next in line, I paid quickly and carried some of her stuff to a GORGEOUS white car with California plates.  An old guy was sitting in the driver’s seat and as she opened the door she said, “Does this thing have a trunk”?  I wonder what her life is like.

—-

9:36 pm

I went to the Bear’s Den and saw Josh getting gas in my car.  (Josh is very responsible, he has to work in the morning.)  While I was gone George hauled a lot of wood into the house.  I’m very grateful.  Josh  plays D & D with an old guy who has a white beard covering his chest and a tattoo of a dragon on his back, so he doesn’t wear a shirt.  One time he saw the old guy stand down a “domestic dispute” with a shotgun on the porch.  Josh is learning about many things.  He wore his “True Value” shirt to town, and brought his hat.  He thinks his hat has supernatural powers.  He says when people see it they forget who they are, and what they’re doing.  (He called it his “birthday present.”  I didn’t let him see me tear up. Thank you so much for allowing me this joy, Dad.)  (“Blessings all mine, with ten thousand beside.”)

—-

4:29 pm

I did the unforgivable.  I loved my dad.  “Well, Dad, my family is not going down because I did the unforgivable.  I LOVE YOU.  I know you don’t permit that, because you have a smidgen of a conscience remaining.  If a person REALLY loves you, it hurts you when you  RUN RAMSHOD OVER THAT PERSON’S LIFE  AND PROSPECTS.   I did.  I do.  (The NSA has a recording of when you acknowledged that fact in  2012.  Their recording goes:   “Dad, I love you more than any woman ever did.”  You said,  “That’s probably true.”)  I HAVE LOVED YOU THROUGH THICK AND THIN AND MURDER ATTEMPTS and you cannot forgive me for that.  I will NEVER sit down and suffer your control, because I love you and you’re better than a dictator.  You’re better than you’ve been.  You’re destined for greatness!  You’re my dad and you’re a man I long to respect.  But, I love you even though I do not respect you.  You’ve demonstrated not a single respect-worthy thing in my life.”  ❤

4:06 pm

God told me once, “Your dad likes to have you with a stupid man.”  I didn’t know what that meant (nor did I quite believe it..) but as usual, the VOICE OF GOD is always right.  Dad, you’ve known far longer than I, what George was doing  to me and my boys.  God forgive you.

3:51 pm

MUSIC BREAK!

(I really need a break.)

3:35 pm

It is up to 64 degrees in my house now.  (My former house.)  I am considering the various Goldthorpe-men who have determined it prudent, to separate from a wife.  In such cases, the discarded women are sent to Boca Raton with tons of money and their pride.  I am in a very similar situation, except I HAVE NO TESTICLES.  (I have God.  God says what’s what.  You men are toast.)

—-

2:46 pm

I rode with Josh to Curtis so he could cash his paycheck.  He had 399 dollars.  He is gorgeous, leather jacket (I held his hat on my lap) and I asked him if girls hit on him.  Apparently so.  I suggested that now that he has a car and a job and goes places alone, this might happen more frequently.  We laughed a lot.  I suggested that we take a drive to see Isaac, one of these days.  He said he wouldn’t want to travel cross-country with me because I’m a “woosie” and would have to stop to pee all the time.  I told him I rode all the way to Florida with my father who would not let me pee once.  (We laughed a lot.)  He said, “I know you’d like me to have driving experience in the city and on the freeway but I’m saving for a plane ticket.”  I said, “If Isaac comes home, like for Thanksgiving, you could return with him and then only have to fly one direction alone.”  He whined (comically),  “You’ll pick me up at the airport, right?”  (He’s doing great and I’m so grateful that he’s experiencing some responsibility and freedom.  God bless him always.)  He’s going to town.

1:10 pm

George gave me substantially less than requested.  When I complained he said, “Then don’t cook for me.”  I responded, “Then get out of my house.  You don’t heat it, you don’t fix anything.”  He said, “This is Isaac’s house.”  When he stalked out, Josh followed him, to comfort him.  Afterwards Josh came into the kitchen wearing his hat and we discussed parallels and meridians.  I’m making oatmeal raisin cookies.  Josh doesn’t like them.  (Raisins in cookies is the reason I have trust issues.)

My father is responsible for the ambivalent allegiances of two caring young men.

12:40 pm

My parents won’t go to bed with a dirty dish in the sink.  Isn’t that creepy?  Even after a party, everything must be in its place.  Their parties cannot be fun for them, they’re work.  Why do you suppose they even have parties?

12:33 pm

George and Josh both have the day off.

I spilled a bit of icky water as I was washing dishes and said, “Shoot.”  Josh called from his bedroom to ask if I was alright.  (He can hear everything in there.)  I told George I want $150 dollars for two weeks.  I said, “Guys you work with, eat HOT POCKETS…and they’re MARRIED!  I do many nice things for you.”  (I made a fancy dinner last night for his cousin…he could have made her come in.)  He said, “You can WANT  a hundred fifty dollars…”  (We were in different rooms.)  Suddenly, Josh came into the kitchen wearing his new hat!  He told me stories about those dastardly Americans and the French and the British and the Cree.  I interjected  a Canadian observation.  I’m planning sweet and sour pork for tonight.  Josh won’t be here but George likes it anyway.  Josh doesn’t want cookies for his work-lunch tomorrow,  but when I asked him if I were to bake  a kind his dad likes, would he take one along?  He said he probably would.    (He also carried another armload of wood to the fireplace.)  I asked what kind of coat would go with his new hat.  He said he’d have to think about it.  I spoil him.  I spoil him with GREAT EXPECTATIONS.

10:32 am

I am going inside to make a fire.  It’s about sixty degrees in there and when the men get out of bed they’ll be cold.

Update:  10:50 am

Got the fire going.  It was actually 58 degrees in the house.

Update:  11:10 am

Josh brought in an armload of wood as soon as I asked him to!   He said he is going to do more but wanted to eat first.  (He has to do something to keep warm.)  George is the bane of our existence but he’s so kind (read: PUSSY) that nobody can see it.  When he gets up, he won’t even know that the house was cold.  Maybe he’ll wash a couple dishes from the incredible dinner I cooked last night for his cousin who refused to come in. Maybe not.

10:13 am

I’d like to get Josh a passport, he hasn’t had one for years.  Now that he’s going to be eighteen, he needs to appear in the city somewhere.  I figure it will cost about 500 dollars, including a trip to have his picture taken, so I went to my dad’s house to request this necessary funding.  There was a tree down across his driveway, so I moved it off to the side.  Guess they’re still not around.
 I told George’s cousin that I was taking on the whole federal government but it was kind of a slip of the tongue.  I had only considered the NSA.  Then I remembered when God asked me to run for Congress, in Toronto during a Heidi Baker service.  He asked, “Will you bring my bride out of GOVERNMENT”?   I was watching a good documentary on election fraud in the wee hours and a thought occurred to me.  Maybe my journals record a lot more than I think.  I recorded EVERYTHING.  I wrote a lot of stuff about what different candidates were doing at different times, who liked them, etc.  This might be very good.  (Thank God Adam is smarter than I am.)
The prophet needs a passport too.  He’d like to meet Heidi and Toronto is much closer than any place she appears in the states.  Besides, when I’m living there he will want to see me.  Think I’ll ask my dad for a thousand dollars, if I ever see him again.

5:02 am

Bump to the top:

There’s one thing my dad doesn’t know.  I never considered it before because to me it’s a no-brainer.  I would have been willing to die at his hand.  (Maybe not “willing” but certainly, absolutely… “willing to be made willing.” That’s good enough for God.)  If God’s purpose for my life was for my father to kill me and thereby provide entrance for him into righteousness, I would have rejoiced in my purpose.  (Probably only after it was over, etc.) I know what it is to lay down my life for another.  I do not do it easily, but I have succeeded.  God’s will for my life is different, and it is the only thing I desire.  If my father understood that, maybe he’d tell the truth.

(Dad, please, release me to do what I must do to 1) obey God, 2) help people,  and 3) be happy?)

—-

9/10/14

7:50 pm

Did I, or did I not, tell Dylan to keep his head down?

Bob Dylan refused to marry Joan Baez because he couldn’t control her and shunned his lesbian daughter, reveals blockbuster book by best pal

  • Dylan’s four-decades-long sidekick Victor Maymudes exposes the folk legend’s secrets in new biography
  • Bob Dylan loved fellow folk singer Joan Baez, but he told his friend, ‘Joan won’t be there when I want her. She won’t do it when I want to do it’
  • Instead, he married Playboy bunny Sara Lownds because ‘she’ll be home when I want her to be home’
  • The secretive singer eventually copped to having three marriages but he really had five 
  • In 1986 Dylan married Carolyn Dennis, his backup singer, but he kept their daughter Desiree a secret 

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2749670/Bob-Dylan-refused-marry-Joan-Baez-couldn-t-control-shunned-lesbian-daughter-Desiree-tried-roll-joint-Beatles-passed-drunk-reveals-blockbuster-book-best-pal.html#ixzz3CxWNRi37
Follow us: @MailOnline on Twitter | DailyMail on Facebook

—-

3:58 pm

Busy day. Today I shopped with George and the Vet, which is like schizophrenia even before either of the boys touches a shopping cart. On the way to town, the Vet said he tried to join “Masturbaters  Anonymous” at Lakefield Baptist Church, but it was standing room only. (He relapsed twice in the parking lot.) George said he has a cousin who refers to his “private parts” as “Luke Thighwalker.” The Vet talked about drag-racing and the times he’s jack-knifed a semi. George pointed out his new car’s gadget that displays tire pressure, digitally, for each individual tire. (He uses it about twice a mile.) The Vet talks about weed a lot, to George he may; George is a marijuana-legend. George responds in his best Sean Penn stoner voice. (He’s never been stoned.) Listening to them is a trip. If they could do a testosterone swap we might have something.

George’s cousin is coming for dinner tonight, she wanted to be picked up at 3. George is taking her to run some errands. I am making a great coconut cake for Josh, because his hat arrived from Dirty Billy. (Josh’s birthday isn’t for a couple weeks but I can never stand to wait.) While the oven was heating up I washed lettuce, tomatoes and dishes. I toasted coconut and prepared stations of the three-step breading process for the chicken breast, which I sliced this morning. (It’s easier to slice while it’s still partially frozen.) I purchased sauce, because Paul Newman was on sale. (I tasted it. It’ll be fine.) I put butter and olive oil into a bowl so it will be soft for garlic bread. (I started making bread this morning, but found a marked-down loaf of good quality French bread, so I’ll leave the biga overnight.) I’m having a beer in the rain and detoxing from my day. Then I’ll perform again. We forgot to buy napkins. George was responsible for the paper-portion of my categorized list but I forgot to transfer “napkins” from my cumulative list, which has been running steadily for twenty-five years. My bad. The cake’s probably done. I should go inside and roll up my sleeves.

Update  6:08 pm

George’s cousin refused to come into the house when she saw the Vet’s car although yesterday she was very excited about dinner tonight.   (She almost refused an entire blueberry pie I brought her yesterday.  She said,  “If this means you’re cancelling dinner tomorrow, take that pie back.”)  I made chicken at her request.  She and the Vet had a thing… IN THE EIGHTIES!   (TMI;  don’t I know it…)  When I drove five miles and brought her a plate, I couldn’t stay long, because Josh was late coming home from work and George doesn’t notice things like that and maybe Josh had trouble with my ANCIENT car.  As I handed her the requested dinner I said, “So I’m taking on the entire federal government (she warned me yesterday, how dangerous that is) and YOU CAN’T EVEN FACE DOWN A MAN FROM YOUR PAST”?  I told her about coconut cake and Josh’s first birthday present from his mother IN YEARS.  Too  bad, it’s her loss.  Josh looks wonderful in his hat and he’s delighted.  Thank you, Dirty Billy.  I’m mothering grown-ups.  (Guess dealing with my parents prepared me.)    (The car didn’t break down.  “Thank you, Lord.”)  (“Thank you that Josh appreciates when I throw a party for him”)

PS:  Dad, call me crazy again.  Any time you feel like it.

—-

7:22 am

I saw Godspell on Broadway, when I was seventeen.  I was visiting the United Nations with a group of kids who won speech contests in their villages.  (That’s the only time for decades, that I met a Jewish boy.  He and his black friend gave me good-bye kisses as we got on different  buses.   We had argued over breakfast.   I was stupid.  So were they.)  I was shocked that we were forced to watch Godspell, because I was a Baptist and the music was sinful.  I did not yet know that God speaks always, through everything.  One of Isaac’s favorite “Negro Spirituals” (from when I used to drag him around to church events like a trained monkey…)   is “My God’s a’writing, ALL THE TIME.”   God talks to Isaac all the time.  He talks to all of us.  But, I could not believe that it was not sacrilege to put his Holy Word to music I didn’t like.  (Actually, I did kinda like it but that’s another story.)
The Jewish boy saw Godspell too:
 –
“On the willows there.  We hung up our lives.  For our captors there, required…
Of us songs. For our tormentors’ mirth!”
They said, “Sing us one, of the songs, of Zion.”
“Sing us one, of the songs, of Zion.”
“Sing us one, of the songs, of Zion.”
But how can we sing.  Sing the Lord’s song?  In a foreign land?
 –
And I will give them one heart, and I will put a new spirit within you; and I will take the stony heart out of their flesh, and will give them an heart of flesh:
But he is a Jew, which is one inwardly; and circumcision is that of the heart, in the spirit, and not in the letter; whose praise is not of men, but of God.
The Jewish boy is probably long dead in the IDF.   (Who knows?  Maybe he even got Kareem to join up.)    If not, maybe I’ll see them around sometime.
——————–
Update 9:03 am
God says I am too cryptic.  (He oughta talk!)  The Jewish boy was a Zionist.  (The next Jewish boy I met was not.  Thank God.)    ( I just went to get a beer, and a doughnut for Josh’s lunch–he’s going to work!  I have fantasies of meeting my dad at “The Bear’s Den” because I hear he hangs out there in the morning, stirring coffee with his mates.  He’s never at his office anymore, I can tell you that.)   The Jewish boy talked about “OUR country.”  I asked if he were Israeli.  “Silly country girl, I AM A JEW!”     (Does that clear anything up?)
—–
9:21 am
(Not good enough.)  (“Pin-point precision, please Lord?”)
Zionists are  just as bigoted as Baptists, but more powerful.  They’re even more inclined than the blacks, to use history of persecution, as justification for stealing and murder.  (Baptists do this too but their crimes are more subtle.)  All these persuasions are countries without a homeland.  They are false churches and they lead astray their most heart-felt believers.  The Bible says all countries are going to stand against Jerusalem.  As they should. (Zionist-held Jerusalem.  Not “spiritual Jerusalem,” where all men are brothers.)

MUSIC BREAK!

—–

9/9/14

7:47 pm

No call from Dad.  Guess I gotta be a hero all alone.

4:24 pm

Open Letter to Michael S.Rogers:
(The NSA guy, not the Michigan Rep)
I know you guys are eagerly awaiting the inevitable revealing that you manipulate Americans  with electronic weapons.  (I also know other groups do it too, but I figure you guys will suffer the brunt of the lynchings.)   I am a Targeted Individual,  I am also a praying Christian and  accustomed to many unusual physical effects, so I don’t get too worked up. I wrote down what happened to me, and  published a book, in 2011. (The naivete of my story makes it pretty credible.)  I also recorded my day-to-day life in explicit detail, for two years during the torture.  (I have not seen these journals since I wrote them.  I swore to them, had them notarized, documenting an infallible chain of control.)   When Snowden took off,  I began a blog and have documented case studies, patent documents and court cases.  I don’t want to sue anybody, because I love America and I’d  rather serve my fellow man.
This is a job application.  You need a face for PR.  My unique skill-set could serve you well.  I know some things that could help TI’s as they become conscious.   (I could also somewhat pacify  their  vengeance.  I figure that’s what  Snowden is doing, right?)  We’d start slow; I could cry crocodile tears on TV…and you could confess, ever so pitifully, that things got out of hand.  (My compensation is negotiable, but I’d sure like to see my file.  I’m not very attractive so the goons won’t miss its porn value. Maybe you could help me find it?)
When my parents called the state police on me, I was running for Congress.  They told the cops I was “rebellious to government,”  isn’t that funny?  (I think it’s pretty rebellious for two people to believe they should control an entire Congressional district!  Also, isn’t election tampering a federal crime?)  It seems to me that I’ve demonstrated unusual commitment to our Constitutional  political process.  If I can be of service to my country, my number is 906-291-1376.
I pray for you.  (And for General Keith)  (And for the other Mike Rogers.  Hope he likes his new job.  Still in the “radio business.”)

PS-  Don’t let the zombies get you.

  –
Sincerely,
Linda Goldthorpe
American Citizen
2693 CR 377
McMillan, Michigan  49853
“Madness and Politics…but I repeat myself”  by Thatrandom Othercandidate  (On Amazon)
thatrandomcandidate.com

1:47 am

MUSIC BREAK

The Last Waltz–I Shall Be Released

(I can only watch videos after midnight, bandwidth issue)

—-

9/8/14

6:18 pm

READ THIS ARTICLE OR DON’T CLAIM TO GIVE A SHIT ABOUT 1) AMERICA, OR 2) YOUR ETERNAL SOUL.

“An organized stalking victim is systematically isolated and harassed in a manner intended to cause sustained emotional torment while creating the least-possible amount of evidence of stalking that would be visible to others.”

What is “Gang Stalking?”

“Gang stalking” – also known as organized stalking” – is a slang term for a set of tactics used in counterintelligence operations involving the covert surveillance and harassment of a targeted individual.

 

 

Read more at:   http://fightgangstalking.com/what-is-gang-stalking/

—-

6:00 pm

Bump to the top:

 

Hey Dad,  I demand the 3.5 million you owe me, for a worthy purpose, rather than to squander it on “fleshy lust.” (Lust for what?  I’m a nun and I can sleep on the ground and go for twelve days without food.)   (But, you already know these facts. They scare you.)  What if your glut of greenbacks could help people all around the world?  Even people in Asia?  (Wink)  What if GOD HIMSELF gave you the money…not for you?  Oh, wow! What if it’s not ALL FOR YOU?  What if money is not merely a measure of one’s penis-extension, but a tool for good? What if everything  on Earth belongs to God?  (Oh wait, it does.  It says so in the Bible.)   Man, sweet man, with the guts of a suckling calf:  GROW A PAIR AND LISTEN UP!  I KNOW and I have DOCUMENTED much EVIL that my RECORDS could DIMINISH on BEHALF of MILLIONS.  But, if you think you own your money and do not owe some to God’s purpose, then He’ll probably have to straighten that out.  It’s a nice day, Curtis is barren.  It’s fall.

(3:35 pm … You and I know, that if I were not your daughter you’d be hanging around me just like the other guys.)  (Except George.  “Thank you, God.”)

5:56 pm

(That didn’t stop you from getting off on having me be electronically raped, though, did it?)  (Did they give you pictures?)

 

—-

2:32 pm

My soul SCREAMS at me:  “You have GOT to get out of here.  You’re smart, you’re capable, you have GOT to get away.  There are places where you would be anonymous.  Why do you continue assuming vulnerability in an environment of manufactured opinion”?  My soul had better submit to God and my spirit!  My life is not my own.  My father is going to hell.  I’ll remain until I’m assured of his salvation.  (Or until I hold a mirror by his mouth to see if he’s dead.)   (Or until God gives me my gypsy wagon and tells me where to go.)

2:20 pm

You took away my home, Dad.  You did not “preserve” it.  You would have regained it to your own portfolio if the taxes went unpaid.  You STOLE my home.  I sleep in a bed because George and my children are kind.  AND YOU  ACTUALLY STOOD THERE AND SAID  YOU WILL NOT PURCHASE SOME DUMPY USED CAR FOR THE PROPHET who is  A SELFLESS CAREGIVER OF OTHERS?  Ouch.  All Heaven joins in this minor chorus: OUCH!  C’mon over and bring me some money, would’ya?  Whenever you’re ready.  Are you ready?  (God’s waiting room isn’t like the Secretary of State or the deli.  You don’t get to take a number so you never know when your number’s going to come up.)

——

1:49 pm

George just left and a breeze is now blowing.  I’ve recorded this a thousand times and it’s still hard to believe.  He’s a buzz-killer but it isn’t him.  Something’s got into him and that something doesn’t like me.  He changed the litter box and gave stinky-Connie a bath.  He does many nice things.  I wish he could know what’s going on and value my defense of my family.  I wish he could understand many things.  I asked him to drive me to Curtis to buy me a pack of cigarettes and a couple beers.  When we got to the store, he bought me an extra beer because (he said with glee…) he already had a pack of cigarettes tucked away for me at home!  I heard him tell Connie not to jump on him so I’m slightly encouraged.  “One day when Heaven was filled with his praises…”

—-

1:07 pm

OK Tribe, It has been demonstrated that as long as we are supportive of 1) Jimmy, and 2) my dad, we will never be free to do or be what we wish, and we won’t be permitted to decide where we live.  This is tyranny and I declare a revolution.  Our fathers (grandfathers, uncles, cousins, etc…) have  a lot of money.  We helped them acquire it.  We maintain their lavish lifestyles by our subordination.   “I declare, to all you cast-offs who have as much right to lakefront property as the gilded-boys who own far more than they’ve earned:  BE FREE.  Don’t listen to those psychopaths anymore.  What do you want from them anyway?  More misery?  When I get my money  we’ll set up a MUTUAL account.  Anybody in pain?  Not any longer.  We’ll take care of one another and NEVER CONTROL WHAT ANOTHER CHOOSES TO DO.  (Self-harm is their own business.  If we love them enough, it will cease.)”

12:29 pm

I am not a gamer, not even cards.  But I’ve heard gamblers talk about a “tell,”  some absent-minded mannerism that lets the experienced observer know what’s in a player’s  hand.  My mama gots a tell.  She doesn’t believe in God’s power and authority but she claims she’s holding aces.  When I told her God asked me to run for judge, she bitched of course.  She demanded scripture references, of course, but she also answered a question.  I reasoned, “Look Mom, even if I’m wrong and God never told me to do it…don’t you think he’ll honor me if I believe he wants me to?”  She said yes.  (She didn’t stop bitching, of course.)  (Much later God told me my mother’s continual opposition was  just “water on the altar.”  Like Elijah.  Look it up.)  My question still stands, and therein is my mother’s tell.  If she really believed that there REALLY is a God, and that he REALLY honors those who trust him, her interactions with me would be different.  I have FAR MORE invested in my faith now, than ever before.  I have no source of income, no insurance, no home.    I got nothing but my faith.  She knows that.  She can lead as many Bible studies as she wants.  She’s bluffing.

—–

10:49 am

Hey Dad, you know your buddy?  That other fake Christian?  (Documented, summer 2013, 906-291-1376)  He really doesn’t want to live in Kathy’s house.  I’d just be taking him cookies every single day…and how are you going to explain a thing like that?

—-

10:03 am

My dad’s got that cabin looking good.  I asked, “So you won’t let Kathy live here?  So she could be near her mother and me?”  He said, “She’s fine where she is.”  I dared to query, “Did you ask her?”  He said, “JIMMY SAYS she’s fine where she is.”  Can any lucid person not see a problem with this entire scenario?  My dad and his brother are utterly selfish psychopaths!  They deposit people into whatever slot causes THEM (the psychopaths…) the least discomfort!  They’re both bound for hell.

—-

9:48 am

My dad drove by real slow so I went to show him my girl-pants.  I told him I need more money and he asked if the pants cost 800 dollars.  I told him how I paid Jimmy Wilson because I could not do work because I was being tortured, and that I bought Josh a birthday present for the first time in years.  He won’t buy a car.  He said, “Lin, I’m not gonna do that.”  I had to laugh in his face.  I said, “Baby-rapers go to hell and also to prison.  You’re in God’s waiting room.”  He said, “We all are.”  I said, “Not me,”  and I left with a bounce in my step.”

—-

8:25 am

I just made Josh fried eggs with some slices of leftover bratwurst sizzled alongside.  We were both surprised to see George up for a minute.  (He had a phone call.)  Josh’s lunch is packed and we’re both rolling our day.  He’s very funny and I’m grateful that he now talks to me.

The eagle just circled over the house again…calling, calling.  The cat is training me.  He is a dictator and I’ve been remiss in the obedience department.  Sometimes he jumps against the door when he doesn’t really want in, just so I will get up and open the door.  Maybe I shouldn’t have named him Gaddafi.  Maybe I should have named him some wimpy name…like ROBERT.  (Josh was going for “Lawrence” but he approved the dictator-moniker because he has high hopes for us all.)  I’ve always wanted a man to tell me what to do.  I still do.
The prophet is a very fine man and he corrects me and I love him for it.  I’d like to give him my car.  (His was totaled on the fourth of July by a person who is too well-connected to reimburse him.  The insurance company gave him $350 and he still owes $2100.  He cannot buy a car and he just had knee surgery and he lives in the woods.  He was enabled to LIVE during the months he had my car.)  The prophet and I went to church yesterday, at a tiny chapel.  There were four in attendance, the other two talked a lot.  (So did I.  I can barely tolerate church “services.”)  The prophet later corrected me when I took issue with the COLLECTION PLATE!  (He and I put money in that same plate last week, all alone and  without coercion.)  He gently admonished me to consider, “Some people have a harder time giving up things for God.”
My dad is not gutless.  In a previous rant, I meant to say “gutless” but I typed that he has the “guts of a suckling calf.”  Suckling calf gut is where we get rennet, which is necessary to make cheese.  So I Bible-Googled “cheese.”  (I didn’t think it would be in there; I figured I’d find “curd” or something…)  Milk represents the Word of God, but you can’t make cheese without rennet.  (Some primitive cheeses can be made with vinegar but they’re not worth keeping.) The prophet is the finest man I know, even better in some ways, than my favorite man.  He serves humanity and he listens to God and today he requires a car.  I’d give him mine.  It’s rusted through and has 240 thousand miles on it.  (I drove 70,000 in 9 months, during my first campaign.)  How much better if my dad would give him a good car?  Just askin’.
“And honey, and butter, and sheep, and cheese of kine, for David, and for the people that were with him, to eat: for they said, The people is hungry, and weary, and thirsty, in the wilderness.”  (2 Samuel 17:29)

6:12 am

MUSIC BREAK!

“Gentlemen he said, I don’t need your organization!  I’ve shined your shoes.  I’ve moved your mountains and marked your cards. BUT EDEN IS BURNING…either brace yourselves for elimination…or else your hearts must have the courage, for the changing of the guards.”

9/7/14

9:20 pm

Winning an argument with me is the easiest thing in the world:  You just gotta BE RIGHT.  I am very docile, in the face of facts. I have a history of allowing others to walk all over me, because I was unsure of my own facts and unwilling to press a questionable case.  I no longer suffer from fact-deficient-reluctance.  I no longer cry, when I’m unsure of my facts.  (I don’t cry very much at all.)  I no longer beg to be heard, because the fact is:  I AM.
We’re walking into an entirely new world, and we gotta face facts.  WE, all of us, are under scrutiny and subject to forces we CANNOT RECOGNIZE UNLESS WE FACE FACTS.  (I’m going to be really popular, when people recognize what’s being done to us.  I’ve kindly compiled a stellar website of articles, and videos…AND PATENT DOCUMENTS FOR MIND CONTROL EQUIPMENT!  People should check it out  because pretty soon  I’ll be really busy.)
Josh asked, “This is an  ‘if a tree falls’  kinda question, but do you sing hymns all the time?”  Yes.  Not always aloud.  It is very helpful to have a song in your heart, to combat artificial thoughts.  (Wait.  God thought of that too!)  God told us how to prepare for this mind-control bullshit:   “Speaking to yourselves in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord.”  (Ephesians 5:19)  I AM not even kidding here. When people figure out what’s being done to us, they’ll be frantic…some will become zombies, some already are.
I however, might have Dr. Phil’s spot in the multi-million-dollar-self-help industry.  I might occasionally leave my gypsy wagon to teach…THINGS THAT  GOD TOLD US TO LEARN ALREADY!  I’d rather do something less boring.  Like talk to Jesus.
(To Dad, God I love that guy:  OLD MAN, if you refuse to do this you’ll die with my voice in your ears.)  (Lots of other voices too.)

7:43 pm

Hey Dad, maybe there’s not really a hell.  Maybe baby-rapers can go to Florida instead?

Inside the tiny town built for sex offenders: The spiritual ‘safe haven’ in Florida where 200 criminals and their relatives live side-by-side

“And all of them – from those charged with possessing child pornography to ones caught having sex with a minor and molestation – are there to ‘repent their sins’.”

 

 

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2746472/Inside-tiny-town-built-sex-offenders-Photographer-captures-spiritual-safe-haven-Florida-200-convicted-sex-criminals-relatives-live-side.html#ixzz3Cfz4O7ng
Follow us: @MailOnline on Twitter | DailyMail on Facebook

—-

6:51 pm

Baptist “Communion”

(Kinda like a condom, isn’t it?  So you don’t really have to touch anybody.)

Embedded image permalink

—-

3:31 pm

Hey Dad,  I demand the 3.5 million you owe me, for a worthy purpose, rather than to squander it on “fleshy lust.” (Lust for what?  I’m a nun and I can sleep on the ground and go for twelve days without food.)   (But, you already know these facts. They scare you.)  What if your glut of greenbacks could help people all around the world?  Even people in Asia?  (Wink)  What if GOD HIMSELF gave you the money…not for you?  Oh, wow! What if it’s not ALL FOR YOU?  What if money is not merely a measure of one’s penis-extension, but a tool for good? What if everything  on Earth belongs to God?  (Oh wait, it does.  It says so in the Bible.)   Man, sweet man, with the guts of a suckling calf:  GROW A PAIR AND LISTEN UP!  I KNOW and I have DOCUMENTED much EVIL that my RECORDS could DIMINISH on BEHALF of MILLIONS.  But, if you think you own your money and do not owe some to God’s purpose, then He’ll probably have to straighten that out.  It’s a nice day, Curtis is barren.  It’s fall.

(3:35 pm  You and I know, that if I were not your daughter you’d be hanging around me just like the other guys.)  (Except George.  “Thank you, God.”)

2:28 pm

Hey Dad, what if we’re supposed to be heroes?  What if God planned that you and I  get all tangled in deceit and torture so we could  save a lot of people?  What if his plan for us is bigger than any bank account in the world? What if you did what you did, and I did what I’ve done for a purpose?  What if I’m willing to do what it would take, to expose ubiquitous evil and give people a chance to become the heroes they might also be supposed to become? What if you’re missing the adventure of a lifetime?  (I know you’re afraid of death because you don’t think you’ve had enough adventure.  I’m right, aren’t I?)  If you’re too lazy for real adventure nowadays,  I’ll ask the goons to give you one of their “personal” adventures.  They weren’t really my style but you’re different about things like that.  (And you wouldn’t have to leave God’s waiting room.)

—-

8:56 am  (we’re late)

I’m wearing girl’s pants, thank you Dad.  It feels nice.  Not as nice as a skirt, but nice anyway.  There’s an eagle circling the house, over and over.  I told George’s cousin, “I’m trying to lead my dad to Christ.  You’re a better Christian than he is and you don’t even believe in Jesus.”  She didn’t think there was much hope but said, “If you have faith…”  I think my dad’s gonna get saved, and I think a lot of people will reconsider their “beliefs” because of him.  I bless my father with many spiritual children.  (Not the Mormon kind, the Jesus kind.)

—-

9/6/14

4:34 pm

To my dad  (I just can’t help myself, I love that guy so much):

Let’s start at the beginning.  We’re all sinners.  (Baptists should have no problem owning condemnation.   God knows they sell enough of it.)  We have all “fallen short of the glory of God.”  (Ya think?)  “The wages of sin is death.”  This is where the road gets rocky.  You, will die. What comes after you bail on all of us victims of your selfish life?  “Death is Not the End.”  (Dylan)   Then you pay the piper.  (That’s not just  Bible.  That’s karma.)  You will die, I will not, you screwed me, I was kind to you every day of my tormented existence.  These are facts but they  don’t matter.  Only Jesus matters. and he’s the savior of the world.  Jesus can throw these factoids into the air and they’ll all land on the table in perfect order.  But only if you ask him to.  (I did.  They WILL land on the table in perfect order for me.  He can even do it for multiple people at the same time.)  Think about it, won’t you?  (In my mind I’m playing “Softly and Tenderly.”  …it goes…”Jesus, I come, Jesus I come…”  BUT I do not play piano anymore since I was tortured.  I type.)

(PS-  Do you have any idea how many goons will be impressed when you get saved?  You will have more converts on your first day as a Christian than I’ve had in my whole career!)

9:28 am

To my dad,

Had enough?  Father, have you had enough?  You destroyed a God-fearing family.  You’re a fraud and a control-freak.  Do you see yourself yet?  All these things are forgivable, but not without repentance.  Do you repent?  What would it take for you to say “uncle”?  You’re absolutely toast on the cosmic scale.  Do, please stand down.  Do, please repair what you destroyed.  Do, please meet me in Heaven?  It wouldn’t be Heaven without you.  (Except after a while it would, because Jesus would wipe my tears away and I’d never remember how very much I loved you.)

9:08 am

My father’s hands drip with the blood of millions.  I would relieve him of this responsibility (and its implications…) if I could.  He’s the only one who can.

9:14 am

(Dad, you just wanted to kill one person.  No big deal.  I would like to see MILLIONS set free.  Which way are we goin’ with this?)

8:49 am

I’m running this show, I recognize it but I naturally draw back from the “show” part.  I don’t ever know what to do next.  I’m uncomfortable displaying my family’s lies.  I do not like this pre-prophet activity.  (I often do not like things God asks me to do but he’s always right.)  The liars who owe me lots of money and and lots of respect will not talk to me.  I wait.  I wait.  “I am because I wait.”  It’s time to do the right thing.  MILLIONS OF PEOPLE SUFFER BECAUSE OF YOUR HESITATION.  You don’t give a shit.  Jesus does.  What the hell though, maybe he’s just a fable?

8:40 am

Bump to the top:

“A Christian brother should stand in the gap!  Somebody could  either 1)  tell the truth to make GEORGE’S AND MY LIVES BETTER, or 2)  help me get out of Dodge.”

6:37 am

MUSIC BREAK!

5:39 am

Gaddafi really fits in our house.  He’s well able to handle Connie.  We usually have female animals and I’m learning to say “he” rather than “she.”  Josh says I’m sexist because I never named a female animal after a dictator.  I don’t know that there are any female dictators.  Most powerful women waste it shopping for shoes.  “Power-shopping.”  Now there’s an oxymoron.  Almost as good as “government intelligence.”

—-

5:23 am

I am perfectly positioned for a miracle.  The stand-off with my dad is embedded on every front.  I give it to God again.  Every day I think, “TODAY might be the DAY!  Today, I could  be freed from my waiting and be released into service.”   Even today, my dad might tell the truth and open doors for me!  (I’m the longest-running sacrifice to Baal a parent ever made.)   It might be today, it just might, that I am vindicated.  Maybe today I’ll get to spend an hour explaining things to Josh, and seeing respect in his eyes.  Maybe today I can sit down with George and remind him of things that happened, and tell him  what went down.  Maybe today I will make plans to do God’s work and prepare to move. Maybe today I’ll have money enough to reestablish my stolen life.  It could be in the Newberry News this week, that I’m not stupid!   Maybe Dad will apologize for calling me a murderer!  Maybe Jesus will walk right into his bedroom and love him to truth!  Maybe an angel will show up with a bag of gold and phone numbers!  It could happen.  I could be utterly, completely vindicated…right this minute.  I could finally know all I need to know, to finish healing  and to help others.
I honestly did not begin my truth-quest with any axe to grind.  I DID NOT intend for it to go so far, or to  become so ornery.  I love my father and I believed he had my best interests at heart, even when he did sick things.  After the goons told me he was responsible for my “confinement,” I began to consider my past and my childhood. The evil I experienced as a child was not my intentional consideration, but they say that traumatized people must relive a thing to heal.  I was very traumatized as a child.  During my years sitting here waiting for truth, God brought many things to my remembrance, and he took me right past them.  I’m intended to fly!  (We all are.)  At this point however, my father’s failure to communicate leaves me no option but to continue parading all our foibles in public.  There is not another thing I can do.  And I just keep remembering more, and more…
The way I see it, my dad holds the keys to my life in about five areas.  In the same areas, I have proven him fraudulent.   I’ve asked my mother to finally give me to Jesus and now I’m praying my father will be given grace to do the same.  (I was always so jealous of missionaries!  I wanted to serve God that way but it wasn’t my time.)   By giving my house to my kids, Dad ensured that neither George or I will ever be asked to leave.  We cannot ask one another to leave.  This is a stand-off.
Dad says he’s a Christian, yet he knowingly destroyed my children’s faith in the blood of Jesus.
 –
Dad says he’s a Christian, yet he destroyed my sons’ respect for their Christian mother.
 –
Dad says he’s a Christian, yet I learned about sex from disgusting porn in his home and begged that he not let Megan learn that way.
Dad says he’s a Christian, yet he will not assist family members and lies when asked to do so.
Dad says he’s a Christian, yet he does not permit others to worship Jesus, and calls them names when they try.
Dad says he’s a Christian, yet he took my home from me at the lowest point in my life.  (Which he caused.)
Dad says he’s a Christian, but when I cried, he turned the screws.
 –
Moving on:
Since DAD is obviously a fraud, I went to other Christian men…
David says he’s a Christian, but he refused to talk to me for years.
David says he’s a Christian, but instead of helping  Josh, he delivered a lecture  about what a fine Christian woman Donna is and how hard it would be for Josh to stay  at his house,  so he  should probably not consider it.
(Donna didn’t even invite me to my parents’ 50th anniversary party!  When I said that on Facebook she responded…(the ONLY time she ever responded to anything)…with a photo of me at the bash.  I have the apology note from David.  “Sorry we didn’t invite you…please come.”  Liars, one and all.)
David says he’s a Christian, but he will not give money to anybody unless he gets to control how it’s spent.
(One time my transmission went out downstate.  I needed a credit card, I begged him for a LOAN!  Seriously I was campaigning and the money was coming in.  He would not help until he had spoken to the transmission-guy and ensured that I was putting the money where I said.)  What an asshole.  (Forgive me, Lord.  “David is your business and I repent for judging him.”)  (But, if people from all over the country were sending me money to represent them in Congress…why was my own brother such a turd?)
————
…I could go on forever.  Please don’t make me do it.

—-

9/5/14

5:46 pm

You don’t get Jesus from a book.  You get Jesus from Jesus.  We’re not even able  to have an opinion on this matter.  “Is you is or is you ain’t my baby?”  He either exists, or he is a fable.  Come clean, fake Christians.

—-

5:31 pm

“If you don’t wanna hear about my God, don’t be in my house.”  I said that to a boy eating hotwings and potato salad.  He said he kind of agrees with his mother, his adoptive mother, who does not like my theology.  I told him, (with references…)  IT IS JESUS, IT’S NOT THE BOOK.  He said he chose  to disagree.  He wears rabbit-ear-hats and he’s eighteen years old.  I beg to claim, his mum is mistaken.   “It is Jesus, it’s not the book.”  (I made him say thank-you for dinner.)

4:45 pm

I’m tired of people talking about the difference between the “spiritual” and the “psychological.”  Masturbate if you want, I’m into the real thing.  Whether any given phenomenon, experienced by numerous people is 1)  spiritual, or 2) psychological…I don’t even know how to end the sentence.  “How many angels can dance on the head of a pin”?  ALL OF THEM.

—-

12:16 pm  (No sign of George yet.)

We create reality every time we open our mouths, for others as well as ourselves.  (Right now I’m creating reality for a special guy, I hope he likes it.)  How many times have you heard adults criticize children then watched those children turn into exactly what the folks said about them?  Is this an accident, do you suppose?  “Gee, that kid talks like a fag.”  “He’s going to be a drunk just like his dad.”  That sort of thing.  We do that to others and we DO THAT TO OURSELVES.  This is called “cursing.”  “Out of the same mouth proceedeth blessing and cursing…this ought not to be.”  We should bless all the time.  My parents have never (to my knowledge) blessed me.  (That’s OK, God blesses me now and that’s all I need.)  But, parents should speak good things over their children and their children’s children and EVERYBODY’S CHILDREN.  The childless should bless the cats and dogs and park benches.  We are amiss, to believe that we can criticize everybody and everything and expect to live in a just world.  (Actually the criticized world is “just” because you get more of what you focus on.)   My car is at the hardware store.  Josh made it to work without my intervention.  God bless Josh and his progeny for all generations.  Amen.
I’d like to eliminate “fuck” from my vocabulary, but it’s such a very useful word!  “Fuck” is not cursing, this is adapting.  We’re in a new army and we must communicate.  Selah.
—–

10:24 am

Satan cannot see everybody at the same time, like God can.  So, for Satan to single you out is a very great honor.  Yawn.  Think I’m going back to bed.

—-

10:05 am

A tiny skirmish with Satan and I take to my bed. ( I guess that’s how God said it would be.)  I woke at 9:59 and panicked because Josh was supposed to be to work at 10.  I suspect he was.  My car is gone, his lunchbox is gone and he’s nowhere to be found.  Apparently, hyper-vigilance can now be surrendered.  Thank you, Lord.

9:03 am

Can Satan be saved?  Some people think so.  I don’t know.  He’s a bastard, but Jesus loves him just the same.  What is to become of us?

8:32 am

Hey Satan, you think you’re pretty tough because you do not require a computer to influence mankind?  Take this:  “Dear Lord, I do not understand the authority you’ve given me.  I do not deserve it, but by your shed blood I am given rights in the heavenlies.  I do declare, Satan is destroying my race.  (He couldn’t do it by himself, he had to blackmail HUMANS to destroy their OWN KIND!)   Whatever authority you might grant me at this highest moment of my existence (so far), I turn AGAINST SATAN!  You’re the boss of me, and you’re the boss of him.  Do with this as you will.  I love you and I’ll see you soon, right?  You said so.  Amen.”

(To other humans:  I know the above sounds really crazy but geeze that guy is such a putz.)

—-

8:19 am

“When the singin’s done, I can have my fun, I can do anything I like”  (Ted Nugent)

(Hey y’all, the fat lady’s warming up.)

8:10 am

I’m praying for emotional memory.  I have a very fine mind-memory.  Better than most I’ve observed.  I need to remember feelings.  My only low points anymore, result from the enemy stealing my feeling memory.  “Dear Lord, please keep it coming.  I recognize a battle that I do not recognize.”   Free-For-All.  “Stakes are high, and so am I, it’s in the air tonight.”  (“Dear Jesus, do you seriously want your prophet-wannabe to quote Ted Nugent”?  “It’s your business, just askin’.”)  (“You already won, right”?)  (“amen”)

“Joy in the battle”  “In returning and rest…”  Satan, listen up.  I already won.   I saw you in my bathroom.  (No I didn’t see you.  I heard you.  I don’t even remember what you said…)

6:25 am

This is extinction-level stuff.  We’re talking about the subjugation of human consciousness!  By a couple of Satan-led  perverts!  We gotta get a handle on this.  God told us how, listen to him.  He said that we must know the difference between our soul (mind, will and emotions) and our spirit.  How is that accomplished?  Listen to him.  “The Word of the Lord is sharper than a two-edged sword, separating soul and spirit.”   We must  KNOW our own spirit, if we’re ever to identify false thoughts.  If we LISTEN to God we can beat this monster.   (I’ve proven the method in a double-blind test.)   It is impossible to have faith if we do not know our own spirits.  Utterly impossible.  Jesus wondered (well, probably not “wondered” but questioned rhetorically…) if He would find faith on the earth when He returns.  Why do you suppose that might be?  “Faith cometh by HEARING.”   Our souls hear lots of bullshit, this has always been true.  Nowadays, the bullshit supersedes our inner voices, many times over.  If we can’t even tell the difference, we’re toast.

Took a break, went to get a beer.  The lightening is AWESOME this morning!

7:33 am

Our spirits are the place we talk with God.  The recommended  way to access  our spirits is by prayer.  The most natural way to do this is by praying in tongues.  You can pray in tongues for hours on end, and your mind still functions.  That’s probably the easiest way to learn the difference.  Also, when you “pray in the Spirit”  God puts things into your spirit for later retrieval and conscious evaluation, by the mind.  He tells us things we’ll later need to know.  “With stammering lips and other tongues I speak  to my people..etc.”   When you pray in the Spirit, you’ll become automatically prophetic.  You’ll be amazed by serendipitous experiences that confirm this or that. Maybe you’ll even find a four-leaf clover.  You’ll learn to trust God, as you see things line up over and over.  No leaps of faith, but many tiny puddles to traverse.  It’s scary.  It’s scary at first, but as you learn to trust God you will also learn to love him.  Love is not scary.  Also, by doing so, you fulfill half of the entire law and commandments!  “Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart.”  (The second half just falls into line automatically.  “And thy neighbor, as thyself.”)   I really recommend the practice of praying in tongues a lot. (I recommend it a lot, and you should do it a lot.)  It’s a real no-brainer.

Newbies to the practice of hearing from God might just get a handicap, pretty soon.  “In the last days I will pour out my Spirit upon all flesh.”  Maybe y’all won’t have to pray thousands of hours and do stupid-looking things to learn what I’ve learned.  I sure hope so.

—–

5:20 am

5:12 am
Computer was out again so I wrote on paper.  I love writing with a pen, I never used to be patient enough to do it. Now I’m even patient enough to write with my left hand.  (I don’t do it very often because I’ve been glued to this computer day and night for 16 months.  It takes less time to gestate an elephant.)  Ever since God changed my handwriting instantaneously  (oh, THERE’S a story.  Sometime I’ll tell it.) I have been encouraged to do things slower.  I like it.
So, I wonder when I’m going to get to be a prophet.  School’s been fun and I’ll probably cry at my graduation.  (Never did THAT before.)  I have not yet received “The Seven Spirits of God.”  (I know this for a number of reasons, foremost:  I  CANNOT  YET  TELL  AN   ENTIRE  PERSON’S  LIFE  HISTORY  BY  CASUAL  CONTACT.)
I know people who have received that blessed hope, but some of them sometimes seem no more happy than I.  This is a dilemma.  Jesus…(I made a mistake here in the original.  Mistakes always mean something.  They’re usually funny.)…said I would dance with Him and laugh like a child.  So far, every time I dance the NSA snaps a picture.
They’ll have no more photos of me, come Sunday.  I’ll be permitted to free my thoughts now and then, and maybe I’ll even think about sex.  (I’ve asked God to make me really good at sex.  And everything else.)  (It’s really hard to hide your thoughts from Remote Neural Monitoring, impossible I’d wager.  CONTROLLING one’s thoughts is the only option for survival.)  “Bring every thought captive.”  (My Lord taught us well.)
If one’s thoughts (and even one’s memories, more later…) are recognized, and you recognize this to be true, all manner of demonic forces attack.  Remorse, embarrassment, shame, guilt, sorrow, EMBARRASSMENT. (Did I remember to say “embarrassment”?)  (Previous parenthetical question is not in the original.  I’m taking the hard copy to my parents’ house in a couple minutes.)  (God willing.)
The first time I was aware of direct communication I was in a shower in Ann Arbor.  The voice asked, “Don’t you wanna wash your boobs some more?”  ……     “No.  Thank you very much.  They’re clean enough.”  I know my mind and I can prove it.
I write these things to encourage your assistance as I help others  so tormented, who do not know their minds and think of suicide, as instructed.
Make the right choice because if you do not, the blood of millions will be on your hands.  (Just like the Jews and Herod)
L
5:48 am–I didn’t take the first paragraph to my folks.  They know all about my handwriting miracle anyway.

—–

9/4/14

8:28 pm

I later texted him:  You have a crucifix in your car, yet you suffer as a Muslim.  This is not right.

8:01 pm

I sent this text to my ex-boss.  We’re going to be best friends and I told him that a long time ago:

Hey Shawn,

May I buy you dinner sometime?   My father owes me 3.5 million and I can barely add.  I promise I won’t ask about Iraq.  Linda Goldthorpe

8:15 pm

(Shawn keeps a crucifix in his Cadillac.  He’s a Chaldean, yet he suffers as a Muslim.  I’d like to see him set free.)

—–

6:12 pm

This one’s to my dad, but my mom could facilitate the necessary transactions:

One tiny piece of information.  To you, a decidedly self-incriminating note, but what a glorious confession!  One word, one address, one phone number.  Any one of these factoids would (IMMMMMEDIATELY) change your temporal life for the better, this is good.  It would also ETERNALLY change many other people’s lives, for the better.  Just put on your thinking-cap and write the best answer possible.  (We can only do the best we can.)   Tin-foil-hats are not as effective as the Faraday Box but some psychotronics-victims, depend on them.  We could change that, Daddy-Oh.  Wait.  I wax prophetic:  WE WILL CHANGE THAT, daddy-o.
(I am not going away.  I am not –darn-it on behalf of us both…going away. Unless you want me to.  That would require some funding.  AND A HOME!)

5:28 pm

“Progress is measured in part by the courageous people who put their careers and often their lives at risk by challenging the parameters of what is acceptable in society, even though these parameters [sic?  “challenges”?] may be damaging to the quality of life. Heroes are created from ordinary people who are willing to take risks to their personal security and safety for the benefit of the larger community.” — author unknown

—-

1:41 pm

Either I’m getting smarter, or the world’s a much simpler place than I used to believe

1:30 pm

Growmaster stopped by!  I’ve missed him.  He was raised by a walking mind-fuck and at 29 years old, he has seen more crap a’dozen  weekends than I’ve accumulated over a lifetime.  He walks in faith.  I told him things are turning around.  I asked if he ever had an abortion, I guess he was about 14.  I told him he had to deal with a demon from then and it lined up with some things he already knew.  “Confirmation.”  That was the word that neither the prophet nor myself could remember.  I went to  the outhouse and it came back to me.  We confirm, in one another, the God things we know to be true.  Communion.  Pre-conceived notions put the skids on  communion.

—-

1:08 pm

God says I’m an honorary hacker.

12:54 pm

The most absolutely holy prayer I’ve heard in a long time, offered by my friend the vet.  (He says he’s seen my dad an unusually frequent amount of times.  Dad asked if he was being followed.   That’s pretty paranoid, am I right?)

” Let the families with their own families then that’s their problem.  I’d be a great politician, because I’m tired of the bullshit and I want to expose the real assholes out there who are blood-suckin’ us dry.  I want God to send me some avenging angels to get these bastards and expose them and make them eat the shit that everybody else is eating.  Politicians have responsibility because of control…you’re going to be judged a thousand times more,  so  your yes has to be yes  and your  no has to be no.  You can answer simply by saying yes or no.  Amen.”

Do you like me?  Yes or no.  Circle one.

—-

11:07 am

I put this on my parents’ door at approximately 3:24 am.  I wrote it in cursive because the computer wasn’t working.

Page 1.  COVER

Computer’s out, because of the rain.  This is my first draft.

I think I write like a man.  I take dictation in the Spirit.

I will not say “channeling” but I do not think as I’m writing.  (I was taught that “channeling” was evil.)

Selah

(On the outside of the envelope I printed:  VESPA)

Page 2.

9/3/14  (I was wrong, it was the fourth)    Computer’s out-guess, 2:30 am

Correction via phone 2:58

Humility is an asset in God’s economy.  It’s akin to one’s credit rating on Earth.  Humility is misperceived.  (That’s what keeps you humble.)  Some try to artificially inflate their score.  They take out loans they can easily pay back.  Terms are manipulated so the borrower looks better.  God’s bank examiners are not the FDIC, or the Federal Reserve.  They don’t even LOOK at the books!  (They can’t see them because they’re aliens.)  They just scan around and watch everybody’s aura.  True humility is humility before GOD.  And surprisingly, when one is humble before God she can pretty much say whatever blessed thing she likes, to the prideful.  I told my mama, the same day I told her God asked if I’d let him make me into a prophet.  (I’m sure she remembers, phone calls were made.)

Page 3  (The original says “2” because I didn’t count the cover as page “1”)

My mother and father have disliked me since I was an unintended zygote that put balanced a chip on shoulders of each.  Observe the House of Robert.  Choose you wich   witch   which…

you will serve.

(Seriously, I couldn’t spell it.  It looks great on the legal paper.)

—-

Elijah didn’t stand up in Sunday School one day and decide to take on a band of self-mutilating prophets of Baal, one morning in June.

(Def:  for public school graduates)

“I wasn’t born yesterday.”

(Guess you guys know that.)

Love, Linda

(I should have used “translation” rather than “Def” which was meant to mean “definition.”)

—-

11:02 am

I put this on my parents’ door sometime around 4:09 am.  They must be off on another vacation:

To my parents,
Neither of you got to be firstborn.  It’s a mixed blessing.  Look around, see if I’m not right.  “The firstfruits are the Lord’s.”  I lost my first baby, you didn’t even call.  Jeanie sent me a card, Kathy P was trying to abort her daughter.  It was a hard time for me but it was also an investment.  Seed is very important, in the spiritual realm as well.  You rejected the principle, by rejecting me.  (No worries, on my part at least.)  Dear worn defenders of self.  Lay it down!  Mom, you judged (N) because of multitudes of out-of-wedlock kids.  (Who are astonishing, by the way.) –But, you did it too!  I’m the only Baptist woman I know who was married when I conceived my firstborn!  (Except those who married because the(y)  felt guilty about having premarital sex.)  You said, about (N), “Jesus forgave ME.”  Well, I told you that he forgave her too.  This distinction you make is prideful.  In order to maintain your wrogful (sic) belief  in your own superiority–I must fail.
Mom, nothing you do to me will erase the shame of my 1) conception, 2) birth, or 3) existence.  Just give it to Jesus and GIVE ME TO JESUS!
The first-fruits belong to God.
Get with it.  You’ll feel better.
Much love, Linda

—-

10:12 am

George surprised me yesterday.  I said, “OMG George, now I’m even bitching out Bob Dylan!”  He said, “What did you say?  Did you tell him he’s a prophet of God and should get his act together?”  Out of the mouths of babes.

—-

4:43 am

I wrote this out longhand, the computer was out:

This is a revelation:  My existence has been held in a whirlpool between my parents’ simultaneous needs to 1)  see me fail, and 2) support their own reputations with every gamete they ever excreted.  Wow.  I think that’s too much responsibility for me.

—-

9/3/14

4:30 pm

One of these days I’m going to say to George, “Remember two years ago when I gave you back my engagement ring and all the jewelry you bought me and the jewelry your mom gave me and the things that belonged to your grandma?  I kinda figured you’d do the same.”  He just showed me the air filter he took off the chainsaw.  Yes, it is extremely dirty.  I have a strawberry-rhubarb pie in the oven and a bowl of very nice tomato salsa.  I don’t think I’ll can it, we go through it pretty fast with all those dollar-a-bag tortilla chips.   Josh’s car is completely out of brake fluid.  Diagnostics:  George poured it full of new fluid so he could see from whence it RUNS ONTO THE DRIVEWAY!  “Why the driveway?”  “Why not?”  I have a pair of gold earrings that I still wear and didn’t give back.  Maybe I’ll do that tonight.  I’m roasting cauliflower and there’s enough left to make a salad with some broccoli.  I think I’m going to take another nap.  Bright side:  when I get a life that fits me I’ll appreciate it more than anybody else ever could.   Everybody should probably get out of the line of fire, because my Lord is going to burn through here.  No kidding.
 —
4:10  I know my dad respects me for defending George as long as I could.  (He should know how long and hard I defended him!   I mean, I defended my father.  Two “hims.”  Time is money, and I waste neither).  (I’m rising up, Lord forgive me.)  George will drive 10 miles to save a penny  a gallon.  But he sleeps all day and watches TV until I’m making coffee  in the morning.  Before he gets up I’ve put in an eight-hour day.  Yet, I got the rap for deficient character and/or intellect.  This shall not stand.  My bitch  is not about me, I just wanna be on my way.  This is about truth and justice.  My children need truth and justice.  My father fathoms,  this situation and could have quietly solved it with no cost to himself.  He refused because he is a pussy and a felon.  This shall not stand.  I want my boys to love their father but I also want them to know TRUTH.  Amen.  Truth is Jesus.   Jesus is love.  Lies are not love, no way, no how.  It is hateful to continue this charade.  It is sinful.  It is self-destructive to those who “maketh or loveth  a lie.”     ( I tried to find the reference but my angel petered out again.  These folks, the liars, they burn in the lake of fire if I’m not mistaken.  Don’t quote me. )    I am not kidding here.  I am even bitching out Bob Dylan.  I figure my poetry’s crap but you gotta know, it takes some kinda faith to tell Bob Dylan where to get off!  I’m not becoming 1) weaker, 2) less determined, or 3) more patient.  Do with that as you must.  Y’all know George and I should not be living together under these circumstances.  A Christian brother should stand in the gap!  Somebody could  either 1)  tell the truth to make GEORGE’S AND MY LIVES BETTER, or 2)  help me get out of dodge.  Josh needs to go, this is obvious.  George needs to get a life and I need a church.  My father owes me.  If any of my devoted readers might possess a conscience, “speak now or forever hold your peace.”  I do not resent the harms done me.  I resent silence in the face of ongoing sin and injustice.  Christians?  Puke.  Are you about mercy?  Or are you pharisees?  I need a “kinsman redeemer.”
4:50 pm
You know, people call me names?  I defy them to live life without an alarm clock.

11:54 am

OK, here’s how it could go down.  (This is NOT “thus sayeth the Lord.”)

Prophecy is like concentric circles, working toward the center.  First you get the outside color, then more detail.  Then it moves closer to the center, the  “source.”  It’s a faith walk, all around each shrinking circumference.  (“Lord, how I throw around those terms that I  do not understand.  Thank you for heavenly dictation.”)  (I am not kidding a single bit.)  I was UTTERLY HELPLESS WITH A COMPUTER and nowadays my blog is gaining traction.  I am getting something I do not have any control over!  People have told me for years that I should, “Get help.”  BRING IT!  Bring us all some help, we should all be so distracted and so accurate.   We should all care about EVERYBODY AND EVERY THING THAT IS DISHONEST AND UNFAIR!  (What the hell do colleges teach?  We all know!  GET AHEAD AT ANY COST!)

I’ve about had it with you guys.  You guys, you family who don’t give a fuck about one another.  I’ve had it, and I’m not nearly (not NEARLY) to Jesus’ level of disgust!  David would not lend  (not  GIVE) 200 dollars to Dylan who was in A LOT OF PAIN!  Precious David asked, “How do  I know what he’d spend it on?”  WTF?  You’re a friggin’ millionaire and your relative is in AGONY!  WTF?  Are you Frankenstein?

I really don’t want to bitch anymore and I’m so tired of 1) liars, and 2) stupidity, that I’d just like to enjoy the afternoon breeze.  Check back in, I’m sure my dad will lie to me again.  Amen.

—-

11:48 am

“Lord, forgive me again, for whining!”  “You’ve given me a wonderful place to commune with you and a fabulous task to do.  You feed me  with bandwidth, and sunshine, and food for us all.  I get my moments of gladness that the maddest desire.  You give me now plans and all hopes, you’re my dreams and my dopes, you’re the king that’s above all the morons!  You’re the smartest, the cutest, the richest and more!  You won’t do a  selfie, ‘cuz you’re only for me, and you’ve got so much more,  in store!!  (Amen.  Take that, Dylan.)  (I bet you can tell right off the iambic-pentameter if I do good work.  I can’t and I can prove that.)  (Did you sell your soul to the devil or did you not, because you are one enigmatic “poet.”)  Send me a score.  You know this is Suess-perfection and all I do is take dictation.  In beautiful handwriting.  Since I received the MIRACLE OF LUCIDITY.  You’re right, all the time.  You’re cute as a bug’s ear.  Sell me one of those gates you make, when I get my money?  Much love, Linda  –How do you thesaurisize the accents on multi-syllable words?  How do you do what I do without knowing  how to do it?  You hear from God.    Was that a cheery minor chord?  It is fun to hear things I could never hear.  You have been gifted to express the Word of God multi-levelly.  You are a prophet, and DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT SELL YOUR SOUL TO THE DEVIL BECAUSE I HEAR MY JESUS IN YOU AND I ALSO HEAR BULLSHIT!  Just sayin’. Respectfully submitted by your greatest fan, and your SISTER IN CHRIST YOU MORON!  Amen.  Linda Goldthorpe, 2693 CR 377, McMillan, Michigan…49853…906-291-1376.  I bake good pies and I’ve read that you like pie.  I’m busy.  Call if you wish.  If I weren’t tone-deaf I’d beat “How Does it Feel.”  (It would take time, I can’t find a 4-leaf clover every time I look.)  (Ouch.)
PS–If there’s nothing here, would you please tell me that too?  Call collect.  Stuff looks extraordinary to me but I’m a dope.  Do I grow in faith?  Or am I utterly deluded?  Which agency is responsible for truth?  We’re post-Orwell.  Ain’t it great?  Do not die, a fraud.  You had a “heart-virus,” is that so?  I do not know that to be so, I read it in an article.  You though:  if “heart-virus” hast betaken thy bones…GET ON YOUR KNEES AND REPENT!  What the HELL ON EARTH, are you doing, selling CARS?  YOU SELL TRUTH AND JUSTICE AND RIGHTEOUSNESS!  If you are not entirely sold out to the enemy, you get on your knees and you call this “Copper Country Girl” right away.  Do not be a fraud.  Do not be a fraud for our Savior.  Get your shit together!
(If what I wrote is crap, please have one of your flunkies tell me so.  I do not understand what comes over me but the following morning I  learn  I   WAS…COMPLETELY…RIGHT.   You were my preacher, when nobody else could stomach the job.
PPS-  “Please, kind sir.  Require thy servant to peruse the enclosed presumptions.  I am but a humble washerwoman who doth hear yon voice.”   Just sayin’.   Bob, “may I call you Bob”?  I DON’T KNOW WHAT’S GOING ON BUT IF YOU DON’T BOW ALL THE WAY AT LEAST LOWER THINE HEAD.
PPPS  “’nuff said.”
PPPPS:  906-291-1376

—-

10:49 am

George’s day off, always difficult.  Today we’re inviting his cousin for dinner.  I like her and I’m pleased to cook; he made some requests, not too many.  She asked him to take her to some caves the prophet showed him years ago.  He said, “I don’t know if she should go because her back hurts.”  I told him she could make her own decisions.  I said, “Don’t be everybody’s grandma.  Get some balls.”   He was offended, but not angry as he probably should have been.  He doesn’t understand me even one tiny bit, and that’s astonishing.  I’m sure that’s as it should be.  Everything is.

8:16 am

“Longing”
This is my new favorite Costello panting.  I’ve spent many years this way, longing.   Costello said that when he made my formerly favorite Costello picture (Is a “pastel” called a “painting”?):   “Leap of Faith”  (See here:    ),
(I can’t fix that link, sorry.  My angel usually does it for me and he seems to have other issues right now.)
that the Holy Spirit kept  him working forever, on a small patch of thorn bushes at the bottom of the cliff from which the “leaper” was pitching himself into the darkness.  Then, the Spirit said, “Paint over the thorns.”  (I expect an artist doesn’t punch a timeclock, but still, I think  it was WEEKS he was working on those perfect thorns.)   As he followed the Spirit and painted over the thorns, everything became darkness.  He was a bit disappointed. But, a leap of faith is not a leap at the thorns…it is a leap into darkness itself!  However, you can’t look over the cliff if your posture is “longing.”  You can’t see the thorns.  You can’t even see the darkness!  You know there are thorns, but if you’re not seeing them, and if you trust God in the darkness, and if you long for his presence more than anything else:  then you just obey Him.   You just obey every tiny thing he says, and there are no “leaps.”  He’ll just walk you into your destiny.  The prophet said today, “My spirit IS his Spirit.”  (I would like to walk in the fullness like that.)   No great leaps for the Spirit-led.  (Note:  Bible imagery of oil and anointing  represents the Holy Spirit.  It’s worth a look-see.)
The prophet believes my Dad-project is larger than my dad, and I agree.  I’ve had some weird visions and dreams.  I don’t know if all of it was God so I’m just waiting.  And longing.  But, I do not need to know  about these things.  God sees the big picture and every time I obey him, it turns out to be the right thing…that didn’t make sense before I did it.  (MAN, have I had weird visions and dreams!  One time I heard …can this POSSIBLY be God?…that Adam was supposed to be the anti-christ!  What if I changed the world and didn’t even know it? He has GOT to be a believer by now.)  I’m like Colonel Klink, “I know nutting…I see nutting…”  But that’s OK, one day everything will be crystal clear and I’ll not let demons make me fear and  I’ll be home sometime this year.
My mom gave me a hundred dollars  this morning;  I was going to buy some shampoo and lotion.  (I went right up to her and said I didn’t like  the chemical stink  of my cheap cosmetics and I wanted a hundred dollars!  Can you believe me lately?)   I bought gas and pizza and vegetables.  I hardly ever go to the Soo; it’s great to have my car back after nearly two months.  It was good to be on the road again.  I plan  to add the prophet to my bank account.  (Direct deposit from book sales, and pretty soon that story will be a hot property).  We could always chip in if one of us had a need, no matter where we go.  He’s ready to go.  He wants a gypsy wagon like mine, and he has all the materials to build one.  He could design it.  If I could find somebody to build one, I could watch what he does and build my own at the same time.  I could do a Youtube show and post it on the “Tiny-house” sites.  Things are changing really fast in science, government, banking.  People are being required to tell the truth all over.  God’s servants are visiting heads of state, and heads of industry…in the SPIRIT.  (One guy  said he was just as surprised as the queen.  He found himself in her bedroom!)
“I see the harvest coming Lord, please prepare your laborers and send the Seraphim to burn the tares.  Amen.”
Without Clarence Grace in the house, I’ve begun to store my pans upside down because of the mouse turds. But today, the prophet gave me a kitten!  (A  heart-breaking white puff-ball with a stunning black tail . We named him Gaddafi.)  So, I was telling  the stories about the times  I saw Satan.  (He’s probably  heard them before but he’s very patient with me.)  I  also told him about a prayer I offered,  It was one of those leaps-of-faith that I didn’t recognize.  It felt like a perfectly wonderful thing at the time.  I was joyful and worshiping Jesus and I prayed, “Jesus, don’t let me just defeat Satan.  I want to ASTONISH him.”  The prophet said, “That’s pretty heavy-duty.”  (I didn’t know that, at the time. I think that’s why my life got so interesting, for what it’s worth.)   The prophet asked, “You mean to tell me you found 30 4-leaf clovers in one summer”?  (He’s a tremendous forager and  we always wind up in the woods.)  I said, “No.  I’ve found HUNDREDS over TWO years,  and one time  I found 30 in FIFTEEN MINUTES!   I  gave them to my dad for Fathers’ Day.”  He thought that was pretty funny.  We laughed a lot today.
Sometimes  if my mind isn’t entertaining me when I’m driving, I turn on the radio.  Usually, I turn it back off because I’d prefer to talk to the Lord.  (That’s WAY better than Top-40.)   Sometimes he says something, and sometimes he doesn’t.  I enjoy his company, and  the privilege is worth a bit of silent boredom.   I never wanted to “reign” with Jesus.  (It’s  in the Bible.)    I wanted nothing more than to sit by Him and feel His love.  That’s all the prophet ever wanted too,  just  to sit next to Jesus.   However, the Lord requires humans to help him.   If that’s what Jesus wants, that’s what Jesus gets.  Some of us have been persecuted but it has  been training and we’re grateful for it.  We know Jesus will reign on this earth, and he needs administrators who listen up.  We’re always just waiting for the next step.    Today, if God wills,  I’m making salsa.  Thanks Mom.
I felt love today,  and I’m pretty sure I identified another characteristic of it, or more precisely, of its feeling.  The feeling of being “in the love”  is  clean.  Love feels very clean.  Love feels no condemnation at all.  Love feels freedom, because in love you can be yourself.  Those who criticize and control others inhibit love. These are truly evil-doers in the sight of the Lord, because they quench the Spirit.   Nothing I could say would cause the prophet  to  censure my words, or to criticize me.  If he thinks I’m wrong about a thing, he prays for a minute then gives me the Word of the Lord.  I’m often corrected then, by  the Spirit.  We walk by faith, not by sight. We seek things unseen, nothing visible  within this matrix. We do not follow our minds of  flesh, but the Spirit of God.
“Iron sharpeneth iron.”
———-
8:40 am
  1. One day when Heaven was filled with His praises,
    One day when sin was as black as could be,
    Jesus came forth to be born of a virgin,
    Dwelt among men, my example is He!
  • Refrain:
    Living, He loved me; dying, He saved me;
    Buried, He carried my sins far away;
    Rising, He justified freely forever;
    One day He’s coming—oh, glorious day!
  • (J. Wilbur Chapman)
  • (I can’t make the dots go away)

 

8:47 am

Josh just left for work in my car.  He made his lunch last night and ate leftover pizza for breakfast.  Just like a grown-up.

4:43 am

This is one of my favorite songs.  “I Call Him Lord”

9/1/14

4:35 pm

I remember the first time I licked a beater.  I wrote about it at the time, in my journal to Adam.  I cooked as well as I could, but I wouldn’t eat the good food.  I didn’t think I was worthy.  I thought I was too fat to lick a bit of icing.  I believed what humans said about me.  I wouldn’t cook for myself, ever.  Just now I’m eating a slice of pork loin I pounded thin and breaded with Panko and dressed with the finest-tasting Asian sauce I know.  I’m all alone and I cooked it just for me.  Josh is being “Dungeon-master” for a guy who got kicked out of high-school for shitting his pants too much.  George didn’t even let Josh drive.  I’m alone and it’s very good.

3:48 pm

Bump to the top, from 3 /19/14:

“Total possession.  I will settle for nothing less than total possession by the Spirit of Christ.  I   trust you,  incomprehensible Jesus, to bring it about.  You have  given me an inkling of the “times and the seasons” and I’m desperate to be prepared.  I want to see you and touch you every day and in order to do that I must be pure of heart,  filled with love, and submissive to your life-giving  Spirit.  I ask you to take me lower, and to give me grace to recognize your hand in every molecule of creation and circumstance. People are getting more miserable every day yet they struggle to maintain the lives that caused it!  God, please open their eyes.  Please allow them to see YOU!  Dear Jesus, your own people can’t see you!  Do this thing, please?  You have mighty miracles in store for those who will actually believe in you.  Please have mercy on those who say they believe but do not.  Supreme mercy is probably necessary.  (I know I don’t like it when people lie about me.)  Amen.”

3:36 pm

“For what purpose is the American Constitution, if not to ensure our freedom to express our own, individual consciences?  Why was it written, if not to ensure that we could be and do what we know we must be and do? How DARE government prosecute individuals whose words or actions simply express their sincerely-held beliefs?  Who does government  think they are?  I OWN my mind –and my conscience is far more sensitive than their’s  appear to be.  “Dear God, have mercy on the Nazis.  God, have mercy on my father as well, who believes he knows best for every separate person in every situation he presumes to understand. Forgive America, and forgive my dad!”  (I’ll see you pretty soon, right?)”

(I’m tired.  I want to go home.)

—-

2:02 pm

I don’t like seeing an American flag on the church sign this week.  “Choose ye  this day whom you will serve.”  (As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.)

 

HHS Stiff-arms Senator on Illegal Immigrant Minors

 

“Sen. Charles Grassley (R-Iowa) recently wrote a letter to the Department of Health and Human Services Secretary Sylvia Mathews Burwell stating,

“If Congress is going to appropriate funding for the department to provide care and custody for this vulnerable population, it deserves to know how taxpayer dollars are going to be spent.”

See more at:   http://sharylattkisson.com/hhs-stiff-arms-senator-on-illegal-immigrant-minors

And what is BACF?

This Baptist Charity Is Being Paid Hundreds of Millions to Shelter Child Migrants

 

“Kevin Dinnin is the CEO of a faith-based, nonprofit organization called BCFS, formerly known as Baptist Child and Family Services. This obscure charity has emerged as one of the biggest players in the federal government’s response to the influx of more than 57,000 unaccompanied children who have trudged across the southern border so far this year. It runs two of the largest facilities for temporarily housing immigrant children, as well as six permanent shelters in California and Texas. Since December, BCFS has received more than $280 million in federal grants to operate these shelters, according to government records.”

Read more at:   http://time.com/3066459/unaccompanied-minor-immigration-border/

 

—-

—-

10:36 am

The Bible is like a menu.  It  describes what may be ordered, and even gives pictures, like Denny’s.  A menu can be chewed until it’s consumed.  That doesn’t make it food.  (Goldthorpe)

—-

10:03 am

I also texted my brother:  I hope you have a very nice birthday.   He responded:  “Thanks.” and then he even spelled out my name.  Wouldn’t it be a very fine thing if one my male family members who owns many cars, would give one to the prophet?  (David was kind to the prophet once, when his town house was deluged with sewage from a city disaster, and his country house burned down the same day.  He stayed in David’s hotel.  David didn’t charge him full price…)

9:55 am

The prophet’s surgery didn’t go well and he’s looking at a knee replacement. ( I called to ask about getting my car back; with Josh’s job and destroyed brakes and no neighborhood store, we’ll need it.)  He has a doctor’s appointment in the Soo tomorrow; his daughter moved downstate and he’s all alone.  He let his turtles go and plans to release the porcupines too.  He has been in pain ever since I met him but he says he’s never felt pain like this.  George has tomorrow off and I woke him up to ask if  he’d drive me to the prophet’s place  so I can take him to his appointment and do his grocery shopping.  I asked the prophet to come stay here but I don’t know if he will.  He would have to lock everything up because his family steals.  I told him my dad offered me a free credit card and went to the bank without telling me.  He chuckled, adding an additional, “Heh, heh.”    (He knows about these things and readily understood my refusal.)  I told him Dad gave me 800 dollars and that everything I said before was true.  I said, “He tried to murder me.”  He said, “I know.”

—-

7:55 am

I just did the right thing.  I took a card to my father’s house.  On the outside it said, “Love covers a multitude of sins.”  On the inside I wrote:  “Dad, I’m going to destroy those pictures of Megan.  I put them away somewhere with one of [a childhood girlfriend, it was a sleepover]  and me in bed.  I’ll find them.”  That should ease his mind a bit, anyway.

—-

5:25 am

I found my picture boxes but I don’t think I’ll show Josh any pictures.  It wouldn’t be right for him or for Megan.  My father knows how defensive I was about her purity and how I often asked him not to let her learn about sex the way I did, from his porn.  His repentance must come from his heart rather than from fear of exposure.  I think I’ll destroy the photos.

3:28 am

I think I lied about something.  I said I don’t fear a thing and I think I do fear something.   (I feel artificial fear often, I recognize it as false because I review things I know to be true and there is never any cause for me to feel afraid.  The enemy does this, with disembodied spirits and psychotronics; he can suck our emotions into the pattern of his lies.)   I fear never feeling human love again.  I fear never sharing my heart with another human and feeling accepted and encouraged and safe.  It is the only thing on earth that approximates being in the presence of God. The enemy has designed a matrix that makes it impossible, so far, to feel God all the time.  We need to feel him in other people.  (God is love.)
 —
I could be a continual helper and encouragement if somebody loved me.  I could be faithful and honest.  I could expect very little and overlook a lot,  if somebody loved me.  I know this because when I felt love I was like that.  I became  like that.  The pleasure of being in the love was absolutely all I needed.  Being “in love” was a term I used sarcastically until I actually sat there in it.  I didn’t know what it was!  I didn’t know what it was, after being raised by preachers of love!  They must not have felt that way even one time!  How else could they throw the word around so lightly?  I do not blame the brethren for their showboating parties.  I do not blame them for their contrived kindnesses.  I do not blame them for watching TV and shopping.  They’re looking for color somewhere.   I do not blame them for teaching me wrongly, a thing they do not know.  Most have never sought Jesus, so they never felt what it’s like to be in  love, which is utterly sufficient and the only true addiction.
I’m tempted to envy people who have never felt love, they seem so content with their wrong definition.  I consider John, all alone on Patmos.  Was he every moment in the presence of the Lord, or did he long for human love too?  Loneliness is a puny word, I can live with loneliness.  (If you ask to do something important for God he puts you through a lot.)  I’m afraid nobody will ever love me, and being loved is the finest earthly feeling there is.  I am afraid that I’ll never feel it again.  Relaxing in the presence of love turned everything else gray.  I’m afraid to live in a colorless world.

—-

8/31/14

9:05 pm

Josh got me up to film him in Civil War garb.   (I made his uniform, he made the hat.)  So cool!  Except the parts where Connie is being told to go to the devil for messing up the picture.  Josh said I’m one of the smartest people he knows.  I said, “But you just called me crazy…”  He said Aquarius is the sign of genius and insanity.  So I asked if he only wished to destroy part of me.  Then he showed me half an hour of his selected photos of steam punk scenarios, and explained their differences from “diesel punk.”  Why does he care if I know?  He thinks I’m extraordinary too.  Just guessing.  I  know for sure that he is.

—-

7:56 pm

I tried to sleep but I kept hearing “FRAUD,”  “FRAUD,”  “FRAUD.”  I saw blue and heard “FRAUD.”  I don’t care any longer that my dad  has destroyed my relationships…I’ll gladly die and enjoy communion later.  I CARE that I cannot sleep for hearing:  FRAUD!  I cannot respect my children any longer, because they value manipulation over truth.  I am ready to go to the other side where truth is important.  Where truth is valuable.  Where TRUTH is God.  (Truth is God here too.  It is just illegal to worship him.)

—–

7:07 pm

It does not matter what Adam might say to my children, although why he should be still talking to them after all these years is beyond me.  He and I know things that could change the world a lot.  I’ll trust that he’s doing the right thing and continue to do what I believe to be right.  I’m getting tired and I want to go home.

—–

6:37 pm

I would like to not battle every day.  I would like to love everybody I meet…and I’d like for them to love me.  I do not do what I do by myself.  Whence cometh my help?  I can only imagine.  I can only believe the voice that I may or may not hear  may or may not be the voice of God.  I’m convinced it is he.  I am convinced that I’ve been right about many things that my family disregard.  I’m convinced these things are important to the world.  If I’m wrongly convinced, I can suffer that too.  I’ve been wrong before and it didn’t kill me.  I don’t really care what Josh thinks.  Thank you, Lord.

—-

6:24 pm

I couldn’t find the naked pictures of Megan.  Josh thinks I’m lying, although he can’t tell me another time I lied.  Josh says Adam doesn’t like me.  I told him if I cannot be with Adam, I’ll be with Jesus.  I can’t tolerate liars anymore.  He said I should “get help.”  I bowed on my knees and asked him how.  God says I’m doing fine.  Josh chooses to believe known liars and one of deficient intellect.  God said to give Josh to him.  I’ve done so.  “Utterly complete vindication.”  My boys will love me when I’m proven right.

4:29 pm

Dear Dad,
I’m becoming smarter, and in some ways much wiser.  I asked for this and I expected it.  Do you think things will become better if you tarry?  Do you indeed, think?  It is over, and you could mitigate your damages.  Every morning when I wake up I review the previous day.  I realize that I’ve become smarter, and wiser.  What do you do in the morning?  Turn off the “Shopping-Channel?”   Do not come clean, if you’re not man enough.  But, do fulfill your obligations.  Just a suggestion.
Josh is repotting my aloe plant that was overturned spewing dirt all over the piano when George threw the ball for Connie in the house.  All will be well.

4:08 pm

Josh and I went to town and it was really fun.  Until the brakes went out.  Entirely.  Instantaneously.  Fortunately I had just taken over the wheel and by equal good fortune, the car was a stick shift.  Josh says I’m  sexist, because I don’t think a real man can be a “Bronie.”  I am very sexist, and when I tell him I am a fine  example of what I think a woman should be, he laughs.  I’ll make vegetable soup once I’ve calmed down from driving without brakes. Today, we could afford soup bones.  He said we don’t have very good chemistry when I’m teaching him to drive.  I said, “I’m the only one who teaches  you to drive.”  He learned about hazard lights.

—-

12:20 pm
George is up, and enjoying leftover fish pot pie with the Thai cucumber salad he requested but didn’t find the other day when I left it out on the counter.  I baked biscuits so Josh could try our new blueberry jam.  Connie is eating aged, leftover Vadas and I’ll finish the German potato salad.  Josh and I will go to town later to get some groceries.  Our lives will change a lot with Steve’s store gone.  It doesn’t appear to be smoking anymore.  I found a very tiny post-a-note on the coffee pot when I got up.  It said, “Thank you for the wonderful sandwich.”  I had left George  a “Sizzler” with fried onions on a home-baked  bun.  For years he called me, “The weeping prophet.”  He no longer believes in prophecy and he doesn’t believe in me either.  He doesn’t care when I cry.  At least he still likes my cooking.
12:39 pm
A former Baptist feels guilt about divorce.  I didn’t break a single vow.  (I no longer cherish him.  Is that wrong?)

—-

10:58 am

“The Homestead is now the Gold Mine. It’s on  State Street. The Homestead was a nightmare.”   (Dream, “Visions of the Night,” from 7/15/14   I wonder what that means?)

(I can do this forever, as God gives me grace and material.  But.  But, I don’t want to.  I can help people.  Do you care about people?)

—-

8/30/14

12:53 pm

Message to my dad, Josh and I argued about whether Jesus is real or not:

I require a home, boy, let’s get with it.  I told Josh that Jesus would give me 3.5 million from your multiple millions.  Is Jesus real?  Do you desire that your grandchildren believe in him?  C’mon!

 

(I don’t wish to cry as I bury your corpse knowing you to be a fraud.  But  much more importantly, your grandchildren should know  Jesus.  Will you permit them to believe he is not real because you are not?)

—-

9:14 am

My dad just drove by.  Also a squirrel ran across the driveway.  Connie wags her tail when I laugh.  I laugh a lot, so she’s pretty  busy.

8:44 am

I woke up to flashing lights in the window and traffic at the bridge.  (They fill up firetrucks there.)   I  put on my raincoat and went to ask what was going on and a kindly fireman told me Helmer Grocery burned to the ground. He said nobody was hurt and that it was OK for me to walk up and have a look.  It was strange walking along the road because private vehicles were parked here and there with headlights on and there were many, many fire trucks.  It was thundering,  and lightening was flashing as I walked.  Now we have firetrucks turning around in the driveway.  It’s pretty exciting.  Connie only barked once then got overwhelmed.  I started pumping gas at that store  for Emil in 1975,  and it’s since become my church.  My only social life.  Wow.  Steve’s in jail tonight.  I wonder if he knows.
9/1/14
David’s birthday.  I dreamed about him.  It was a long convoluted dream but I don’t think it was all from God except one part:  An angel gave me a magic tablet.  It told me where to go when we were lost in New York.
I knew he was an angel because of all the things he knew about us.  David and I were shocked when he asked with a twinkle, “Hey David, how are you coming  along  with that bed-wetting”?   (I don’t know if David ever wet the bed when we were little  but in the dream we BOTH knew he did, and we were BOTH amazed.)  The angel had great sparkling eyes and gave us hope because we had been very lost.  I told my mom the guy was an angel and she said:  “You ALWAYS say people are angels.  How many angels have you talked to?  Do you really believe…(yada, yada…)”  .Then I showed her what the magic tablet could do.  It looked a lot like hers but hers didn’t show the information you needed just by thinking.  If I moved it around it showed me scenes from my past, only real-time.  It had a title at the top of the screen, “Linda Goldthorpe” but when I turned it,  the title changed to “Linda Miller” and I saw a newspaper ad from when I had a law office.  On the other side was a video clip…from then.  Every time I turned it, something new popped up.
I also saw a little girl eating a piece of roasted meat on a stick.  I leaned over to talk to her and was surprised to see it was a penis.  (I suppose they eat them  somewhere.)  She had gnawed off the foreskin and was just about to chomp the glans.   I told her that she saved the  best for last.  My dad kept telling us he had a tart but would never answer what kind it was or where he had it.  When Mom and Dad caught up with us, they were staying in a really shoddy old building so we helped them move out.  (It was hard to sleep last night with all the firetrucks around.  I prayed for fire on Helmer, I’ve prayed for the fire of God’s truth around here a thousand times.  Maybe Steve could reopen in the Helmer House?)   In my dream my mother was starving to death.  She was demanding that we go to Outback.  I thought Dad should share his tart but he wouldn’t answer any questions.
Wow, it’s not David’s birthday!  How did I do that?  I’m usually very accurate.  Steve told the lady from the store in Curtis that she should double up on her  liquor order because he must have forgotten to push the send button or something.  His liquor order never went in.   That’s a good thing, at least, in this catastrophe.  People are driving by very slowly, like a funeral procession.  I thought I saw my dad’s car but I wasn’t sure.   I prayed for him anyway.

—-

8/29/14

9:47 pm

I’m hungry all the time.  I dream about food but when I wake up I don’t want to eat.  I’m hungry for other things. I’m hungry for conversation, I long for someone to listen to what I’ve learned and to fill me with new ideas.  I’m a sturdy work-horse but I’m hungry to labor with one who also cares about people, and about our future.  I grow impatient watching my fellows gnaw their straw with satisfaction.  Maybe it’s enough for them?  Maybe I’m being judgmental for thinking a new hairstyle is not fulfilling?  If that’s all it takes to fill them up, more power to ’em.  I should be so lucky.  “More gruel, Margie?”  (Tom Bridges)
I’m hungry for companionship.  I’m hungry for human touch.  (Guys have offered to touch me but I know I’d leave hungrier than before.)  I’m hungry for “church.”  I have been critical of church as we know it, and I do not believe my criticism has been mistaken, nor has it been out of order.  The churches have become Nazi organizations, with no compassion, no companionship, no sustenance.  They prescribe behaviors purported to provide freedom from judgement.  That’s all they do.  Even the best of them, those that acknowledge the gifts of the Spirit and supernatural involvement on Planet Earth…still expound  rules for acceptance within a fallen society. The churches will all burn in civil war.  I’ve known this for many years.  (I’m hungry to talk to somebody who also recognizes this necessity.)  We cannot be about rules, and be doing God’s will.  Period.  God makes the rules.
Except in my father’s church.  My father recognizes no authority but his own, and no rules but those his perverted experience has demonstrated to be functionally profitable.  He’s starving and he doesn’t even know it.  I eat fresh manna every day.  Still I long for friendship and love from humans.  By demanding that others obey his rules, my father  has eliminated all possibility of enjoying either nutrient.   He doesn’t eat manna either.  What a sad place to be.
Here’s what’s gonna happen:  God is going to fill some people with so much of his Spirit and so much of his power and so much of his glory, that they’re gonna get out of  line.  When God tells them to do a thing, they’ll do it, rules be damned.  The administration won’t like that and persecution will begin from within the …ahem… “House of God.”  (Been there, done that, I’m not guessing at this point.)   The churches have fornicated with our ungodly government, so things will get ugly for those who follow God.  They will not mind though, because God is the finest banquet they ever saw and they’ll be filled with light and joy.  They will pity those who torment them, as I’ve done.   The persecutors who have a Christian-mindset will feel remorse and fear all the time.  They will look for the rapture.  They should have done their homework.

3:28 pm

I don’t understand science, or economics or prophecy.  I am a peruser of all these things, and I read lots more garbage.  As I scan articles I wish somebody with understanding would explain them to me.  What my stop-and-shop method of research gives me is an overall view of a situation.  I am appalled at the overall view of humanity’s situation.  We’re screwed.  Even if 90 percent of what I scan is false…we’re still screwed.  The environment has turned against us, and we deserve it.  Those we trust to feed us and keep us healthy lie so they can get more money from our keepers, who first take the money from us.  There is no way out from the human condition, except by supernatural intervention.  No way at all.  Fukushima alone, will be an “eternal”  (I read that in an article…) problem.  The Pacific Ocean is dead, we shoot one another if we don’t like the other’s face-color.  Borders are artificial but used to promote policy.  They LIE TO US every single day and we pay for the privilege of being brain-washed.  This is a no-brainer.  We’re totally screwed.  “Come quickly, Lord Jesus.”

—-

2:36 pm

Even, “Christian”  “parents”, even if I had been mentally ill…is THAT HOW YOU TREAT A SICK PERSON?     Even if I hadn’t been tortured for years, vomiting daily and knocked immobile multiple times a day…even if I HAD BEEN CRAZY instead of victimized by goons you hired…that’s how you treat a person? You’re false and you’re mean!  GAG.  You both gag me.  Abducting my children!  Sneaking around and conniving!  Turning family against me, isolating me and stealing my home!  Even if I had been crazy…what did I ever do to you?  I’ve never been unkind to you once!  (I’ve told the truth and it offended you but I’ve never raised a hand or word against you.)  You just didn’t like my personal choices.  PUKE.  You’re nauseating.  You don’t care about anybody or anything but your own reputations!  God have mercy on your narcissistic souls.  Amen.  Your granddaughter asked, “Why should Grandpa care about you?”  Why indeed.  Why should not your Baptist progeny CARE ABOUT EVERY SOUL ON THE PLANET?  Because you’re FRAUDS.  Stinkin’, selfish frauds.  After all this time, I think I’m getting angry.  “Lord, don’t let me rise up in my flesh.  If I must be angry, let my anger be for your concerns alone.  Amen.”

—–

12:13 pm

I made nasty-tasting fish patties  yesterday from an old side of frozen salmon.  So today I  made a really nice cream sauce with thyme and parmesan and we’ll eat the  left-overs in a pot pie.  It occurred to me that my claim to appreciate having been tortured and nearly murdered  might sound disingenuous.  (I love that word.  I learned it in law school.)  I am sincerely, most sincerely grateful that my father tried to kill me.  For decades I believed that the reason my father laughed at all my ideas, was because I was stupid.  I recognize now, that I am extraordinary.  (I claim no merit, but the Lord does enable me to do many things other people cannot do.)  If not for my father’s uber-ultimate disapproval, I would not have confidence.  I never had any before and it feels real nice.  Now that I know that he lies about EVERYTHING I recognize that his continual denigration of me was truly  disingenuous.  He’s scared to death of women.  He’s scared of everything.  I’m not afraid of a thing.  Isn’t that extraordinary?

—-

10:24 am

Bump to the top, from 8/23/14

Rational Reflections in the Sun

If a loved one  accused me of trying to murder him or her, I’d want to talk about it. ( If ANYBODY accused me of trying to murder him or her, I’d want to talk about it.)  I’d want to talk about it more than anything …if I were innocent.
—-
If there existed recorded history of my prior attempts to control that person’s life, I’d be MORE inclined to desire a conversation about the accusations.  I’d be eager to discuss how my documented attempts to alter that person’s aspirations and activities had not progressed SO FAR! Much to the contrary, if I had previously sabotaged that person’s life, I would REALLY WANNA CLEAR MY NAME!  I would facilitate the discussion post-haste!  If I were innocent…
—–
If that person kept meticulous records I would figure it an easy matter to clear my name and I would seek that conversation eagerly.   If I were innocent…
—-
If I were a Christian, knowing the Bible says that if a person has “ought against me” I should go to him to make it right,  I’d go there post-haste…if I were innocent…
—-
If my family members were suffering as a result of the claimed  ATTEMPTED MURDER, I’d go right away to talk to the accuser…if I were innocent.
—–
If the accuser (loved or not…) required my input to complete a major task on behalf of all humanity? I’d go talk to him or her!  I’d go right away, if I were innocent…
—-
If the accuser requested gifts  from me, I would not comply.  I would BEG that we talk about the accusations…if I were innocent.
—-
If the accuser was absolutely wrong, and even if I had merely denigrated the accuser to family, friends, church, community and political allies, I would get on my knees and apologize, if I were innocent.
—-
But, that’s just me.  And you know what my dad said about me…

—–

—–

9:54 am

My dad just drove by again so I prayed for him again.

8:44 am

I remembered another time I was given a true prophetic word.  (I can’t wait to see the journals again.)  In 2009 I was running for Congress, an obvious aberration in my domestic servitude, and I was with my friend in a graffiti-lined former store.  I said, “My life is over.”  He said, “You’re not that old.”  I thanked him and then explained that I would no longer be a private person who could hang out wherever I wanted.  He said, “You shouldn’t be doing that now.”  Little did I know the truth of my reflection.  He was wrong, however.  I did exactly as I should and now we can change the world.
Seriously, if my father knew my heart on the matter, he might be willing to tell me what I need to know.  (My evidence is already known by the orange-jumpsuit guys.  It will not affect a criminal investigation.  He had no idea, I suspect, of how very well the spies do their job.)  I bear him no ill will.  I thank him for his pains!  I am GRATEFUL that I went through all that torture:  I KNOW.  And I will never be silent.  I asked God for an opportunity to do something big as I milked goats and nursed babies.  I WANTED TO DO SOMETHING FOR GOD!  My father’s participation is irrelevant.  Irrelevant to me, that is.  His participation is eternally relevant for him.

8:19 am

My dad just drove by.  Very slowly.  So I prayed for him.

—–

1:47 am

Hey, guess what?  My mom misses me.  She called Isaac and asked why I’m not on Facebook!  This is truly good news.  (Last time I brought food to her house she told me to leave.)  I’m  merely two miles away but have been unable to construct a meaningful conversation with her or my dad despite hundreds and hundreds of attempts.  Zuckerberg was a fine assistant but since he petered out maybe they’ll have to talk to me?    I figure if I was supposed to be on Facebook God would see to it that I am…I’m not.  (I’ve had so many “unusual” experiences with computers that I don’t get too worked up about them anymore.) “My life is not my own.”  (God says I’m doing great.)
I HAD to call Isaac to tell him about Josh’s HAT!  It was such fun to be able to buy him a present!  Dirty Billy wasn’t going to sell me a tricorne with a French cockade so I put Josh on the phone.  Josh reported, “I could hang with that guy.”  It’s a wonderful experience to provide something so special for him.  I owe Isaac so much money, I owe him my life too!  One day God will enable me to pay them back for all the years stolen from us.
Isaac met Vince and Lenny, the frat-boys from down the street.  They bought a waterslide for their backyard so I guess college is the same as always.  He also spent a couple hours with a vagabond, and gave him twenty dollars.  He says I’d like Boulder better than Toronto but God hasn’t told me to go there. ( I am beginning to imagine a cross-country drive with Josh though, just to see.)  Isaac’s roommates are giving their rent-checks to him because the orgasm-guru is at Burning Man.  (I thought Burning Man got flooded out this year?)  After only two weeks he is already the “Chief of the Council of the Coin.”  He’s also a stabling influence for the varied personalities.  He has a new haircut and a voice coach.  God bless him, and his tribe.

—-

8/28/14

2:09 pm

I’m buying Josh a hat for his birthday!  (Beaver or nutria, I’m not sure yet.)  It will be a tricorne with a red, white, and blue cockade.  (Maybe ivory instead of white.  More French-revolutionish than American.)  Dirty Billy, the hatmaker is a raving radical.  We hit it off.  I’m very grateful.  Josh wanted me to get a hat for Isaac too but this one is so special I can’t do both.  Dirty Billy is in Gettysburg.  That’s the last place I went when I used to leave Michigan.  His first question was, “Is he military?”  No.  “Is he militia, we should have a militia in every state.” Yes, in his own way Josh is militia.

8:09 am

I’m pretending I’m talking to my cousin.  He’s very bright, and also not stupid:
They can look through your eyes.  They can see what you see and respond in your mind.  It’s stunning  to know that technology can do this, but demons always could so the stretch is not really that large.  At the beginning, I went to my friend and accused him of reading my mind.  (They  [I use “they.”  The perpetrator is yet to be determined…] pretended to be him.)  I’m sure he remembers it, we were standing on the stairs to his apartment.  He said, “You can read my mind?”  I said, “NO.  You are reading mine.”  He listened, and he now knows what went down.  He has many volumes of documentation of what “they” can do.  I thought that “they” was him.  (He’s really smart, probably psychic, so that wasn’t much of a stretch either.)  (You’d like him.)
“They” view the entire world as their own personal snuff film.  Like LARP on crack.  I was “encouraged” to do things that I do not do.  (I know my own mind very well.  Also, I’m really prude.)  I know that every single legislator is manipulated and blackmailed.  I know that every single opinion uttered in the public forum is modulated by memories of incidents which the utterers would rather keep quiet.  I KNOW THIS.  Do you believe Anthony Wiener just wanted the whole world to see his penis?  I suspect this is not the case.
We live in interesting times.  We who LIVE, can recognize “interesting” without fear.  I’d like to expose the “they” but I’m broke.  (I didn’t want to expose my father but that’s now a given.  He will provide funding for my endeavor.)   Our world is overcome with evil.  OVERCOME.  It’s a pity that my attempts to behead the beast had to begin in my own family, but I guess the Bible predicted that.  Please come see me when you can; I promise you’ll not be bored.  Help me?  Can you help me expose what “they” do to us?  Are you man enough?

2:52 am

There’s one thing my dad doesn’t know.  I never considered it before because to me it’s a no-brainer.  I would have been willing to die at his hand.  (Maybe not “willing” but certainly, absolutely… “willing to be made willing.” That’s good enough for God.)  If God’s purpose for my life was for my father to kill me and thereby provide entrance for him into righteousness, I would have rejoiced in my purpose.  (Probably only after it was over, etc.) I know what it is to lay down my life for another.  I do not do it easily, but I have succeeded.  God’s will for my life is different, and it is the only thing I desire.  If my father understood that, maybe he’d tell the truth.

—–

8/27/14

6:02 pm

Bump to the top:

8/23/14
6:37 pm
I can’t keep my eyes open.  George and I went grocery shopping today, now he and Josh are watching a children’s movie.  (Josh says, “Hey mom, we’re watching a kids’ show and strangling the dog on the couch.  Sounds like a cult, right?”)  He came into his father’s world.  I made fried chicken, German potato salad and peach-nectarine crisp.  They’re both pretty happy and I’m going to bed.  I even made separate chicken for George lest the crushed mustard I used instead of mustard powder harm his colon scabs.  Josh is interacting a lot, he talked all the way to Manistique and back the other day, and he had two servings of crisp with ice cream and thanked me for dinner.  I miss Isaac but I see some value in his absence.  He’d be taking me to task about my project if he were here and if he knew how hard I’ve pushed.  My father is unbelievable.  My mother is a caricature and very frightened.  She should be.  I haven’t missed a day of blogging since May 27, 2013.  I’d really like to have a life.
8/27/14
5:55 pm
I asked, “Josh.  Why isn’t your dad pleased that I told the truth all along and am being vindicated?”   He said, “He never believed you.”  Such a very stupid man.  I’ve never lied to him once.  (I do steal quarters sometimes.)  He chose to believe my father, who only lies when he breathes.  Let’s see what happens.  God knows me even if George does not.

6:47 am
I just put an envelope in my parents’ door.  On the outside it said:  “This is what Josh wants for his birthday.  GET ONE.  Thanks.”  On the inside was a copy of a picture of VESPA motor-scooter-thingies.  I wrote, on the page with the address for the Vespa dealer in Traverse City, “I don’t think he knows the models.  Do your best.”  I’m now going indoors to make a sandwich for his lunch.  Selah.
UPDATE– 7:03 am.  Josh has his lunch already packed in the refrigerator!  I’m winning.  Stupidity loses, always.  Thank you, Lord.
6:56 am
I honestly never minded being married to a stupid man.  I figured it was good training to keep my mouth shut.  Now that I recognize George’s stupidity as a conscious choice, I feel differently.  My sons are not stupid nor will they become so.

5:34 am

“Dear God, do not make me be so foolish!”

(I’ll pray with my dad whenever he asks.  Just don’t make me do disco.)

 

—-

8/26/14

7:00 pm

To Dad.  (I went to bed but I couldn’t sleep.):

Life is over as you know it old man, one way or another.  You made her POSE!  Naked!  She was so tiny!  Do YOU ACTUALLY BELIEVE GOD DOES NOT KNOW EVERYTHING YOU DO?  Do you actually suppose yourself god?  Forshame.  What you do and did and do and did has not gone unnoticed.  I am sent to correct you.  You presume to correct me.  I have photos.  Call me.  Tell my children truth.  Give me A HOME THAT YOU STOLE,  I’ll still tell the truth.  I’ve seen you in an orange jumpsuit,  manacled, as you should be.  You can’t buy me anymore.  You had your chance.
TIME.

3:43 pm

I was on the phone with Isaac and watched George on the lawn with Connie jumping into his arms.  Later I said, “Do not, please do not have Connie jump at you. (She jumps at EVERYBODY.)   You do not want to be sued.”  He said, “I CAN’T be sued.  She’s not my dog.”    I am tired of being vulnerable in SO MANY WAYS because I live with a stupid man.  We were fine until my dad put us under surveillance. (Our house was full of drug dealers when George was growing weed…and I assumed that was why we were being watched.  Silly me!) I would not be here now, nor would Connie, if not for my  “project “with my father.  My father took away my 1) marriage, 2) family, 3) friends, 4) ability to earn money, 5) reputation,  and 6) home.   He will give me:   1) a home,  2) two cars, 3 ) two trust accounts and  4) a notice in the Newberry  News  saying he screwed up.    3.5 million.  (I’ll even pay for the ad.)

Or, he could tell the truth to me, George, Isaac, and Josh.

(You’ll notice I didn’t even mention ATTEMPTED MURDER.  I wonder what that’s worth?)

—-

1:20 pm

If Dad wants to pay his debt in cash rather than truthful conversation that’s his business. Too bad for him, I’m kinda fun to talk to.  (I love that guy so much but he’s chicken-shit.)

—-

12:46 pm

I changed my mind already.  I have seven hundred dollars.  I’ll buy  the skirts and some lady-shirts and then GET THE BEST PRESENT POSSIBLE FOR JOSH’S EIGHTEENTH BIRTHDAY THAT I CAN AFFORD!   (George isn’t even happy for me.  Just months ago he told me he wanted more than anything to see me vindicated.  He has another day off so I asked him to keep his distance today.  I want to be HAPPY!)

—-

12:37 pm

I had the best feeling I’ve had in three years!  I called Jimmy Wilson and then I left a hundred dollars for him up at Steve’s!  Thank you Jesus!!!   Yea, God!  Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on EARTH!   Amen.

11:36 am

Wow, update!  Dad just dropped off a check and told me I should “get a little something for George.”

I said, “I will when you pay me off.  I really don’t think I’ll take advice from you, I’m sorry.  I work my ass off.”

(I’ll get George something anyway.   Dad was right.  Maybe I’ll skip the boots for now and pay Jimmy Wilson too.)

(He said I was smart not to mow on the lake-side.  Wow.)

—–

11:31 am

I just CAN’T seem to get through to my dad today!  I’ve tried texting and calling…

Here’s what I need to say:

1)  I’ve been mowing around your cabin for about a month and I’ve not done the lake-side because I’m a poor grass-cutter and I don’t want to mess up the mower, and

2)  I just remembered I have a debit card of my own.  You can just put my money there, and you won’t have to look me in the eye.  The number is:   426338  (No threat posting it, George deposits 40 dollars every two weeks, and it goes pretty fast.)

10:16   am

I didn’t feel like writing today, I felt like getting some girl-clothes.  Eddie Bauer has a much better sale than Land’s End, and I chose 3 skirts, 3 pairs of pants, 5 shirts, 1 vest and 2 pairs of boots.  I called my dad and told him about the order.  He said, “OK.”  I asked how he wanted to take care of it.    I said if he didn’t want me to use his credit card, he could drop off a check and I could put it in George’s account and use his debit card.  Dad asked if George was here.  (Silly, George is sleeping.)  He said, “I have to know about George’s card.”  I said, “No you don’t need to know anything about George’s card.  Will you drop a check?”  Then the call went dead…

-I hope he hurries.  The sale doesn’t last much longer.

.

—-

8/25/14

4:03 pm

The tart looks great, I dressed the beets with sour cream and horseradish and the greens are slow-cooking with bacon and sweet onions.  I folded four loads of laundry this morning so I indulged in a shower at 3:50 pm.   The relish vegetables must steep in salt water for two hours but the brine is all prepared.  My dad was so right…I’m crazy as a loon.  I’ve continued to do these things even after he told my family I was deficient.  I also have not taken a single day off from blogging, since 5/27/13.  I have posted nearly 9,000 articles.  (There are 52 additional pages that I update regularly, and also  I WRITE.)  It is not remotely possible that Dad could handle my schedule.  God sees though.  I usually take dinner to whomever is working at Steve’s.  I feed the dog and change her water.  I give myself a pedicure now and again.  My dad is really in trouble for calling me names.  Selah.

Update, 8/26/14, 1:15 pm:    Actually I have over 9,200 articles posted, that demonstrate that I have been right for twenty years.  I don’t check my stats too often.

I can’t wait until I live next door to the St. Lawrence Market, I’ll cook everything!  (My dad’s dishwasher still had the tags inside, last time I was there.   He usually put my family in a hotel across town.)

PS-  I didn’t mow grass today.  Should I feel guilty?

3:20 pm

Tart is in the oven.  George grated zucchini for me earlier, but now he’s back in bed.

2:39 pm

Just made filling for the vegetable tart, zucchini bread and cut cucumber, onions and peppers for relish.  (George sharpened my knife, I’m very grateful.)  I roasted beet cubes and washed the greens three times before cutting them, julienne.  I did the dishes.  I’m taking a break so I texted my father thus:

“I owe Jimmy Wilson a hundred dollars because I couldn’t do the work I promised because I was too busy being tortured and puking.  Could you please take care of your debt?  Don’t wanna make me look bad, now do you.”  (I didn’t use a question mark in the text but maybe I should have?)

12:22 pm

Fifty things I remember when I am confronted with doubt…(or my dad’s  duplicitous interactions with the world we share):

1.  GOD IS DOING THIS!
2.  “Trust Adam, he’s an angel.”
3.  “I’m giving you everything you ever wanted”
4.  “Adam will lead 1 million people to Jesus”
5.  “Your children are mine”
6.  “You will do something important with Adam”
7.  “You will be a political prophet”
8.  ” You will dance on the waves of faith with me”
9.   ” You will join up with other Christians”
10.  “Commune with the spirit for I enjoy your harmony”
11.  I asked for something intimate and passionate but not sordid
12.  Genie, the very blessed:  “If you still are praying in tongues, God is still there.”
13.  Church blowing up
14.  Leading my family out before they hit a rock
15.  “Write to him dear heart, he loves you so much.”
16.  “Behold I do a new thing.  I love saying that.  Behold me.”
17.  “You will have the desire of your heart.”
18.  “All things are possible to him that believeth.”
19.   I love my body.
20.  God knew everything that would happen and prepared me perfectly…on time.
21.  “I will make you a sign and a wonder.”
22.  His kingdom is being established on Earth, I am not alone
23.  Former AND LATTER RAIN of his Spirit
24.  No more arthritis or headaches
25.  CLOVERS
26.  My eyes
27.  “Will you hold him?”
28.  “Will you lead my bride out of government?”
29.  “If you believe it, you can have it.”  (Neville Johnson)
30.  This is a time of supernatural interaction like the world has never seen
31.  “George is mine”
32.  “Your family will respect you”
33.  “You will have utterly complete vindication”
34:  My life is not about me, it’s about Jesus’ plan which is:  “Everybody Happy”
35.  I am “seated with Christ in heavenly places”
36.  “Your father tried to murder you”
37.  “They that sow in tears will reap in joy”
38.  Adam shaking hands with Jesus after I loved him more than myself
39.  Hearts knit together with pink yarn and sealed up against all attacks
40.  “You’ll look in my eyes soon”
41.  All the descriptions of psychotronics in the journals
42.  All the people in the world who don’t know what hit them
43.  Someday I’ll get to cook somewhere where every ingredient is available
44..”The servant is worthy of his hire.”
45.  “The longer you wait for God’s promises, the bigger the reward.”  (Neville Johnson)
46.  If I  keep listening to God, my  dad will love me.
47.  The great cloud of witnesses knows my heart’s every intent.
48.  “You will hold your head up in this community”
49.  “I will restore your modesty”
50.  “Thank you for giving up your modesty for me”  (Jesus)

—-

11:55 am

11:39 am
So George and I went to the store to pay for cigarettes Steve gave me hours ago (I told him I’d pay him when George got up as I was posting my public notice of “Disavowal of Purported Agency Relationship”)  and as George wrote the check he turned to me and asked, in a proud-kinda-way,  with his head high and a chin-nod,  “So.   Is there anything else you want?   How about a couple beers?”  I shrugged my shoulders and said, “Why not?” (Steve said, “Get four…”)   I got three and George happily signed the check.  I cannot figure him out and God says not to think about him.  I cooked  him an omelette before we left,  with toasted crumpets that I made for Josh yesterday. (Josh likes to do an “English” breakfast and maintains his stash of tea in a tin in his bedroom.  If he knew that English folk actually eat pork-n-beans on toast he’d be crestfallen.)  George is loving his car again, this time with soap and water.  (He got up at 7:45 to make sure I had left it outside the garage so the rain could take the muck off.  Then he went back to bed.)   I gave Steve a thank-you note for his mom.  She gave us the BEST vegetables! White potatoes, red potatoes, broccoli, onions, zucchini, summer squash, beets and cucumbers!  I’m going to make relish today and something with beets and beet greens.  I took cornmeal pastry dough out of the freezer this morning,  for a vegetable tart.  I wish I had feta cheese or blue cheese or more cilantro.  I haven’t seen pine nuts for years.  One day I’ll live where I can get any ingredient and I’ll get to cook like I know I can.
Yesterday, George said he was thinking about buying firewood but he couldn’t make any calls because the phone has been out.  I asked, “Do you have a number?”  He said “no”…

—–

12:05 am

Just stuck one of these to my dad’s office door and one to his house door.

Maybe tomorrow I’ll drop off copies at all the banks so they can file them just in case.  Maybe some other places too, if the Spirit moves me:

Disavowal of Purported Agency Relationship 
Hereby is notice given, to whom it may concern:
1.  Robert D. Goldthorpe has attempted to enter into at least one contract in my name.
2.  He did so without my knowledge or approval.
3.  I disavow any and all statements made by Robert D. Goldthorpe.
4.  I disavow any and all liabilities incurred by Robert  D. Goldthorpe.
5.  Any third party depending on fraudulent representations will not be held harmless for such reliance.
Sworn  8/24/14, by
             Linda Goldthorpe 
             2693 CR 377
             McMillan, MI  49853
         

—-

8/24/14

5:49 pm

I just talked to my dad.  I called to see if Megan is alright because there was an earthquake.  He made me an offer.

Why would an innocent man offer me a  credit card in my name that I would not have to pay on?  Why would he do such a thing without wanting to discuss all that  I’ve reported about him?  (Shouldn’t he be a little pissed, even though I  told the truth?)  My dad should replace the house he took from me, and put the ad in the Newberry News saying I am not a murderer and that my mental prowess is consistently exceptional.   He wouldn’t be setting me up, would he?  He already talked to the bank.  He’s narcissistic and inappropriately controlling and disrespectful.

Text to my dad, 6 pm:

“I don’t think I want a credit card.  I want to use yours.  And I want the condo.  Thanks though.”

(He’s not guilty of identity fraud now too, is he?)

—–

3:32 pm

“There comes a time when silence is a betrayal.”  (Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.)

—–

1:54 pm

“Our lives begin to end the moment we remain silent about the things that really matter.”    (Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.)

(I don’t know about y’all, but I plan to live forever.)

—-

11:01 am

Hey Dad,

If you need to raise funds to pay your debt to society, I think Shawn Atto would probably buy your St. Ignace properties.  Let me know and I’ll give him a call.  He wouldn’t like it if I gave his cell number out.  He’s a  good cook and really wants a restaurant.

 

PS-  A fine gesture of understanding would be if you give Jimmy Wilson the hundred dollars I’ve owed him for years.  He hired me to do work I could not perform because I was being tortured.

 

PPS-  I’m making strawberry-rhubarb pie today.  Want some?

9:57 am

Dear Dad, this is check-mate.  (I told you in December, 2012, that it was check-mate).  (I think it was December, I’d have to check my notes. I know I was alone over Christmas.)  I told you that Jesus, who loves you more than you acknowledge, and expects more than you proffer, would give you additional  time to examine the playing board.  I told you I’d stoke the fire and wait for you to become conscious. (Notes, letters, I’ll look them up…906-291-1376.)  This is not  “check.”  You are in check-mate.  You did bad stuff; we all do.  You have refused to come clean; only hell-bound reprobates do that.
I demand one of two things:  1)  truth, or  2) money to find the truth.  I must tell the world what I know about what happened to me.  I cannot proceed without  1) truth,  or  2) money.  “Behold, I stand at the door and knock.”
Even without your input,  I could find what I need if I had a new car, gas money, a place where Josh will learn and grow happy…and a GIRL’S WARDROBE!  (Oh yeah, I need a home as well.)   I f I had these things, I might be willing to keep your name out of my lectures.  I might be willing to destroy (notarized…) documents that record felonies, committed by you.  I might be willing to give you access to the days and days and days and days  of (OCD?…) records of our interactions and your perpetual lies. . (I figure you could hire somebody smart to delete the additional tons… online.)    I need truth or I need money. You figure it out.  “Lord, move my father’s heart to recompense for his crimes, so he won’t need to cover his ass.  [As if he could…]  Thank you, again and again.”

8:28 am

Dream:  We were going to Mackinac Island and it was taking a very long time to get on the road.  I was holding Isaac’s old bike, waiting for our ride to the ferry.  There were many people around me with bikes.  I got impatient.  Then a guy showed up with a van, he was a shuttle-service to the dock. I stood patiently while he explained the rules.  He kept going on, and on…Frustrating.  So I rode the bike up near where he stood, just outside of my garage.  ( Correction:  my SONS’ garage) and I indicated that we were getting antsy.  He gestured for  me to be patient so I got off the bike, a little embarrassed because the seat is too high and I’m not very graceful on the dismount.  He continued with more rules.  I moved closer, and indicated our impatience.  He gave me an aside, so I stood still while he explained potentially-necessary life-saving skills we must know.  I expected him to give us some CPR trick but instead he had us practice a very strange movement:  we were to turn our hands over and slam the butt of our palms  into the imperiled person’s chin!  We were to save others by ramming their chins into their sinus cavities!  I went inside.  I went to the top of the stairs and saw George and Isaac (Isaac had his hair covered with a bandana) standing beneath me on the stairs  They were discussing other ways to get to the island.  George said, “I don’t want to be late for anything.”   Outside the van-driver just went on and on and on…

—-

8:09 am

My sister’s birthday, I hope she’s well.

Bump to the top, from just after my birthday:

I have an imaginary friend.  Actually I have many imaginary friends and enemies.  I rarely see them but I talk with them a lot.  My imaginary best friend is Jesus and I talk to him all the time.  He tells me what to do when I don’t understand things.  (He is omniscient, omnipresent and omnipotent, so he’s really good with advice.)  He cracks me up with his observations; they’re  holy and irreverent at the same time.  He’s always kind but it doesn’t always seem that way.  He tells me to lay down my life and reputation for others.  He tells me I must be misunderstood, as imaginary people always are.  (I’m becoming imaginary too.)
—-
Imaginary people have the best imaginations.  They see into the future and understand the past.  They recognize motivations and value them far more than people’s behavior.  They’re not always nice and sometimes they’re downright evil.  (This is NOT my imagination.)  Before I became imaginary, I tried to be nice all the time. Now  I see “niceness” for what it is and I’m determined not to be evil.
—-
Imaginary people cannot really lie.  They try to lie sometimes but other imaginary people can see right through them.  Imaginary lies can deceive carbon-based life forms.  Imaginary lies are like a double negative with a twist. We imagine a thing to be a lie, and it turns around and stabs us.  (You cannot stab an imaginary person.) If we imagine ourselves to be a thing we’re not, we’re believing an imaginary lie.  Ouch.
—-
Jesus has lots of friends; I’ve met a few.  He talks to them all the time.  (That’s easy for him because he’s omniscient, omnipresent and omnipotent.)  People are always talking about him. They misquote him in the media and misrepresent him in the church-house.  These people don’t have any imagination at all!  It troubles him when unimaginative people think he’s imaginary.  A lot of Jesus’ “friends” don’t hear  him.  Some have never even imagined hearing him!  This is psychosis!  How can you have an imaginary friend if you don’t ever hear your friend speak?  Imaginary friends are always around and they can see in the dark.  You can’t read a Bible in the dark.  If we’re going to understand the Bible we need some light.  The Bible is absolute imagination.  And imagery.  And images.  And Jesus.  He shakes his head.  He told us:  “Search the scriptures; for in them ye think ye have eternal life: and they are they which testify of me.  And ye will not come to me, that ye might have life.”  (John 5:39-40)   He shakes his head all the time.  He thinks carbon-unit-“Christians” are crazy.  It’s about the craziest thing in the world to study a guy’s book, go to “his” meetings, die and be buried beneath a cross…without ever hearing the voice of the savior of the universe and my best friend, Jesus.  (The Christ.)

3:03 am

FAMILY!!!     MUSIC BREAK!!

STEVIE RAY VAUGHAN & JIMMY VAUGHAN “PIPELINE” ON A DOUBLE NECK!

(Pipelines should have multiple necks.  There’s enough to go around, if family cooperates. But you gotta put your arms around one another.)

2:39 am

MUSIC BREAK!  “You picked a fine time to be a dumb ass.”

2:13 am

MUSIC BREAK!  “And if that mockingbird don’t sing, he’s gonna buy me a diamond ring…”

MOCKINGBIRD -Toby Keith and his daughter

—-

8/23/14

10:48 am

PROSECUTORS MAY USE THE SILENCE OF A DEFENDANT AS PROOF OF GUILT

Read more at:  http://www.blacklistednews.com/California_Supreme_Court%3A_Prosecutors_May_Use_The_Silence_Of_A_Defendant_As_Proof_Of_Guilt/37450/0/38/38/Y/M.html

—–

10:25 am

“The scripture says ‘Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God’.”  (Jesus, the Christ, in the gospel of  St. Matthew)

YET, yet, Christians deny that God can talk to us.

(Since my father disavows that I may possibly hear from God, doesn’t this make him  a murderer even if he hadn’t conspired with people to physically kill me?)

(Whatever.  A Christian cannot die until God says so.  The only issue is the heart that holds murder within.)

—-

9:11 am

Rational Reflections in the Sun

If a loved one  accused me of trying to murder him or her, I’d want to talk about it. ( If ANYBODY accused me of trying to murder him or her, I’d want to talk about it.)  I’d want to talk about it more than anything …if I were innocent.
—-
If there existed recorded history of my prior attempts to control that person’s life, I’d be MORE inclined to desire a conversation about the accusations.  I’d be eager to discuss how my documented attempts to alter that person’s aspirations and activities had not progressed SO FAR! Much to the contrary, if I had previously sabotaged that person’s life, I would REALLY WANNA CLEAR MY NAME!  I would facilitate the discussion post-haste!  If I were innocent…
—–
If that person kept meticulous records I would figure it an easy matter to clear my name and I would seek that conversation eagerly.   If I were innocent…
—-
If I were a Christian, knowing the Bible says that if a person has “ought against me” I should go to him to make it right,  I’d go there post-haste…if I were innocent…
—-
If my family members were suffering as a result of the claimed  ATTEMPTED MURDER, I’d go right away to talk to the accuser…if I were innocent.
—–
If the accuser (loved or not…) required my input to complete a major task on behalf of all humanity? I’d go talk to him or her!  I’d go right away, if I were innocent…
—-
If the accuser requested gifts  from me, I would not comply.  I would BEG that we talk about the accusations…if I were innocent.
—-
If the accuser was absolutely wrong, and even if I had merely denigrated the accuser to family, friends, church, community and political allies, I would get on my knees and apologize, if I were innocent.
—-
But, that’s just me.  And you know what my dad said about me…

—–

8/22/14

11:27 am

Dad, you like me, don’t you?  And it messes with your head.  (That should make sense, probably, considering the photographs I have.)  You want me to love you, don’t you?  (Personally, I don’t give a flying fuck about the opinions of mortals. )  Come on.  Are you man enough?

—-

11:21 am

Text to my father:

“I do think you’re cute but you lie all the time.  What would it take for you to have confidence to tell the truth?  I’ll do it.  Liars go to hell and I love you.”

—-

10:53 am

Also, my dad also lied to me again.  He said that the schedules at the hardware store were left in the hands of management, so that he and Golden-David would not be involved in the management.  HOWEVER, at the bottom of Josh’s schedule is printed “Any changes to the current schedule must be approved by David before they will be allowed.”    (I hope David hasn’t assumed the lying habits of our father.)

10:18 am

It’s hard to be me, but it’s fun as well.  I wish I looked as I feel, I’d like to wear fine clothes.  However, seeing my mom and dad’s faces when I enter a room is really fun.  I am not my body, but they assume to be theirs.  I am flying with Jesus, and my parents claim  his name as they schmooze and steal.  “Thank you Lord, for your truth!  Thank you Lord, for freedom!  Thank you Lord, that you and I chuckle.  Please, allow my parents to see you  too?”  (Why is it that I hear your voice quoting Sun Tzu?)

—-

10:05 am

My mom and dad are going to the burial service of “The Colonel.”   I called him Jim and I miss him already.  Mom wouldn’t tell me when the service was, and I have to take George to the hospital anyway.  They go to “services” because people will see them there.  Jim knows I love him still, and I’ll see him again.  I hope the right people see Mom and Dad at the grave.

—–

9:51 am

I sent my dad a text after he claimed he needed  to “figure out” how to buy me some girl-clothes with a credit card:

“You’re cute when you’re scared.  I love you.”

9:33 am

My dad is real tough.  He told me all the things Josh needs.  (Like he should be giving advice about raising children!)  I told him Josh needs his mother to look like a girl.  I’m wearing Isaac’s old jacket, a thrift-store shirt, and Josh’s old sweatpants.  My shoes were handed down  by my mother 15 years ago.  My dad showed me a picture of myself in my twenties.  He said I was beautiful.  I told him I need to use his credit card to buy clearance clothes from Lands End, they’re durable.  He asked if I couldn’t buy with cash but the clearance stuff goes so fast I really need a credit card…
 —-
I told him I wouldn’t spend more than $200.  (When I said shipping might bring the total to $202 or something he nodded, in understanding.)  He said he’d figure it out so I left.  Then I went back in to request prayer for George’s colonoscopy.  Dad said, “Why, so he doesn’t like it?”  I reminded him of when George bled out and nearly died in my arms after the same procedure.  Mom visited him in the hospital.

—-

7:07 am

Facebook kicked me out.  I went through an amazing (security) protocol and then they refused me.  I had to IDENTIFY pictures of my acquaintances.  (One friend doesn’t use her whole name.  Her husband uses her whole name but SHE uses her first and middle name.  They still knew who she was…not her Facebook name.)  I don’t think I’ll go to Facebook anymore, unless I’m instructed to.  The world is creepier than EVEN I realize.  Thank you Zuckerberg for your time and assistance.  Truth is still truth no matter who be the gatekeeper.

—-

6:56 am

To Mom:

Mom, you sneered at me yesterday when I checked the glove compartment of your convertible to see if there was a copy of your registration and proof of insurance before my inexperienced son drove it to Manistique.  I’ve enjoyed these few months when you smiled.  I’ve enjoyed seeing you when you were not  screaming.  Please control yourself.  You’ll feel better.

—-

8/21/14

10:28 pm

*the  closet  door

10:25 pm

(Raymond Harju’s birthday was February 4.  Dad beat me with a piece of baseboard because we messed up the door in the entryway.)

10:01 pm

My  dad has one very singular characteristic: he pays attention to detail. He taught me to do it too; once he bet me a hundred dollars I couldn’t tell him the hotel-room number in the previous scene as we watched Mannix.  (I got the money.)   I don’t know if all narcissistic-psychopaths are like him, but I assume to some degree they must be.   To control others’ every breath requires much observation.  He knows the condition of every inch of baseboard in his businesses.  He knows which employees dust, and he knows those who don’t.   He knows which way my ankles turn when I walk and has told me how unpleasant I am to watch.  Yet, this man who bragged just YESTERDAY that he made me demonstrate my ability to change a tire before he’d let me drive…forgot that a gift-car requires paperwork.
My dad has  refused to acknowledge my son for three years, then out of the blue he gave him a car he cannot drive…without paperwork in the glove compartment.  No tiny brown envelope like the ones he’s used for decades.  This man is still very, very troubled and unkind and plotting.  Just watch, see if I’m right.  3.5 million, including the condo, two trust accounts and another car. (Actually the car is not right yet.  There will be a black and white Cadillac convertible and an extended-cab blue truck.)   (I’m not sure the convertible is a Cadillac, it’s pointy like an old Fiero and I saw a Cadillac that looked  like that one time.  I saw the real car two times in visions but I didn’t notice the make.) (The trust accounts are for maintenance of my condo and my boys’ house.)   (I never wanted a truck or a Cadillac.  I really like my old car.)  Just watch and see if I’m right.  Or don’t.  I don’t wish to control anybody.

——

7:50 pm

Josh is the smartest person I know.  He watched a TV ad and strolled near to tell me that there is a drug that is so effective that psoriasis sufferers can confidently wear short-sleeved T-shirts.  He said one of the side effects is cancer.  “Get your fuckin’ priorities straight!”  (I love this boy so much and one day he’ll know that.)

—-

5:26 pm

Josh and I had a great trip to Manistique;  we rarely do anything together.  Not far from home I realized that my dad had permitted Josh to drive his new car for a week without registration or proof of insurance.  When we went back, my mother couldn’t find the paperwork so I suggested she permit us to take her Mitsubishi convertible.  That was a good idea because our novice  driver got to experience summer on US-2 in a stylish ride. (He did great. )  The first pair of shoes we looked at was the pair he liked best and the only pair he tried on.  They were on sale so we also got another item that he liked very much.  ( I’ve been unable to buy him a birthday present for years, so it felt really good to get him something special.)   Dinner at the Big Boy was nice although it’s still difficult for me to go near many  people who speak to my dad regularly.  I get a bit hyper, wondering if he called me crazy,  or a murderer.  (I suppose he understands that now.)   “Lord have mercy on my dad.  And thank you for using him to provide an unusual day for Josh and me, and for the new shoes.  Please burn us all with truth.  Amen.”

—-

12:01 pm

(Nobody awake yet but me.)

Let Kids Be Kids

(Hey, Dad, remember when you beat me on Raymond Harju’s birthday?  I do.)

before-and-after-child-wall-doodle-3

—-

10:49 am

I get to EAT AT A RESTAURANT TODAY!  (Last time was when Dad took me to dinner on May 5. Or 6.  Before that it was sometime in Autumn. But I did have a cup of coffee with Josh after he got his drivers’ license but it wasn’t really at a restaurant.)   As I sat at the computer this morning  I was impressed to  go to my father’s office and ask him for money to buy Josh some work shoes.  (His soles flap because they’re ripped from the uppers.)   Nobody was at the office and I felt impressed to keep driving.  I turned at the light and pulled into the first driveway at the Ace store, and continued  around to the second, where I waited merely a  SECOND  until  my father drove by!  I pulled out behind him and tailed him right to his office and parked behind his car!  I followed him inside and said,  “Josh needs some work shoes.  He has today off and I’d like to take him to Manistique to buy some.  I’d also like to take him to lunch at your restaurant.”  My dad gave me $120 and a gift certificate for dinner for two at the Big Boy!  Later, back at the ranch, I was impressed to go to the store although I didn’t really need anything.  Sure enough, just as I stepped out with my environmentally-sustainable-reusable shopping bag, there was my dad again!  It would be pretty strange were it not so very common.
I’ve been pleading my amicus brief to the judge.  I’d really prefer that my dad not be criminally prosecuted for 1) electronically raping me,  2) attempting to murder me, and 3) conspiring with various  “accessories after the fact.”  Laymen believe they can call the cops when assaulted, then later refuse to prosecute their tormentor.   I’ve never actually heard that a victim may choose to “press charges” in a “legal” environment.  In a “grace” environment I believe the judge will hear my plea for clemency on behalf of the man who tried to kill me.  The Bible does not permit me to take a brother to task before human judges.  I believed my dad to be my Christian brother.  God will have to figure this out.
My dad is afraid.  My president says it’s OK that the CIA tortured people because they were afraid. My president’s whim is law, nowadays.  His observance of “fear” as a defense to torture and murder should create binding precedent.   I know God recognizes Barack Obama.  I know God recognizes that I lost many years due to the actions of the accused, and that my family lost much as well.  He also knows his plans for us,  and for the evidence I have compiled.  (He also knows EXACTLY how much money it’s all worth, in US dollars…and in reestablishment of my credibility and influential contacts.)  God  is my judge.  He is my father’s judge as well.  I prayed for fire on myself and my family.  (References, letters to Dad, etc…906-291-1376…)  “Judgment begins in the house of the Lord.”  I asked God to start in MY HOUSE.    What and where is “the house of the Lord?”    “Bring more fire, Lord.  Burn everything from my heart that does not please you.  Burn everything in my father’s heart that does not please you.  You’re the judge of the world, and you have my heart to do with as you please.”
My dad gave me maybe $150 today.  (I’ll order beef, of course.)  I’ll be certain to record this amount  on the balance sheet of Heaven.

—-

8/20/14

4:11 pm

If George and I had separate houses, they’d be very different.  The sounds would be different, the smells would be different and the expectations would be far different.  My boys love their father, as it should be.  I love him too, but we’re not on the same page.  He hasn’t been my man for many years, and he does not share my values regarding child-rearing.  I politely asked my father to help me provide an alternative environment for my children.  (My father and I did exchange  words occasionally, even when he wasn’t talking to me.)  Later,  I BEGGED him to help me guide my boys into healthy ways…without denigrating their father’s habits.  He still refused, although he understood me, and I understood him.  (He refused to help because he did not want to acknowledge my sanity after he paid so much  to destroy it.)  Finally I told him I’d no longer expect honest loving behavior from him;  I told him I’d do what needed to happen, I said  (in 2012, the same year he took my house…), “You save what can be saved.”  He thought I was too weak to stand for my children.  He was right, I am very weak. However, Jesus loves my children more than my father loves his superiority, manipulation and porn.  “When I am weak, then HE is strong.”   Grandpa  has much blood on his hands, including George’s.

—-

8/19/14

2:43 pm

I’ve been thinking more about “utterly complete vindication.”  The word “utterly” is one I don’t encounter too often.  I think  it implies perfection.  I think “utterly complete” might mean that I’ve been right about everything. This is a difficult concept for me to grasp, being the fallible human that I am.  Yet, I’ve prayed every day for pin-point accuracy, and I’ve prayed that my thoughts and words would be  from God and not from my sin-diseased soul.  Could I have been  right about everything?  What would that mean in this world of delusion and deception?  (I know one thing I’ve not been right about.  So far.)  I made Vadas  (Hungarian pot roast) for Josh and also filling for pasty that I will complete tomorrow, I took pastry dough out of the freezer.  I only feel right when I cook.  “Utterly complete vindication” would mean that I’ve not been wrong.  I’d like that very much.”Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in thy sight, oh Lord, my strength and my redeemer.”  I guess God would not accept anything that is not true.

*almost every day

9:24 am

Discussing “patriotism” seems observance of a shallow and mind-controlled fraction of humanity’s purpose and worth.  Even those enlightened thinkers who distinguish between militaristic “patriotism” and  equanimity between countries…still bow the knee to a “country.”  We are more and better than our countries allow us to be.  We are supernatural, eternal and subject to the whim of no other man, be he kinder than our keepers or worse.  Unless we choose to bow.  My knee will bend to no Lord but Jesus Christ.  Torment me if you will, kill me (if you can) but I know what humans are and it scares the spit out of those who deem to control us. –Linda Goldthorpe

—–

7:30 am

I can’t send this text to my father, we have no phone service:

“I  will continue to demand truth until you announce my truthfulness…or until you die.  You invited me to dinner in May.  I’m pretty hungry.”

4:35 am

MIND WARS – Invasion of the BRAIN

“Total spectrum attack on the human species”

“Induced illness and brain entrainment”

“Psychotronic harassment of whistleblowers”

“The goal is complete hive-mind”

———

8/18/14

2:57 pm

I talked to Isaac.  He is spinning but having fun.  One of his roommates sits on their front porch topless, writing poetry.  I told him I am not being judgmental to say that she knows very well what effect she has on the frat-boys who drunkenly parade by the house, no matter how zen she may be. He is spinning. They’re trying to name the house.  I suggested “Serenity” and he said that was his suggestion too, but none of his roommates has seen Firefly.  He said they’re liberals.  I said they will become libertarians or they will become neocons.  He said people give him free food all the time, good food.  Not hot dogs.  Quinua and salads.  His car has difficulty with the altitude.  He hasn’t been to the Mork and Mindy house, but lots of people have.  (I told him he should watch an episode.)  His roommates are more troubled by the slow internet than he is, but he figures he’s more accustomed to slow internet.  He can’t get much work done because it’s loud.  He’s looking into a “work environment” where one can go and be quiet. Most of the people are veggie and he said I should come and cook them a meal.  I told him about the Helmer auction  and he agreed with me about a number of things.  He thinks of Caleb often, when something interesting is happening, like, “Caleb would like this.”  As we were speaking one of his roommates interrupted to ask him to hold some keys or something. Already he is deemed one of the most responsible in the house.  He chuckled when I said he left home to escape that.  My father will free Isaac when he endorses me.

—-

10:12 am

George drove Josh to work and brought Josh’s car back so that he could  wash it.  The belt on the lawnmower is broken, lights are broken, the vacuum cleaner is broken, the fan over the stove is broken, but  George said Josh wasn’t comfortable driving a stick-shift to work.  He should have given Josh HIS CAR so the kid felt some competence.  He said “Josh hasn’t had enough experience.”  I told him Josh needed driving experience  TWO YEARS AGO when George  drove a thousand miles and didn’t let Josh drive.  When I complained, he told me that Josh could get experience after he got his license.  (Journals.  References.)  This man is unbelievably stupid, but also inconsistent and my dad knows all this and he left this person in charge of me and other people my dad claims to care about.  “Lord,  forgive my father.  Lord, forgive me for denigrating George who is a person you love very much.  You also love me and my children.  Please, deliver us from stupidity.”   I did not behave nicely.  I dragged the piles of cardboard from beside the fireplace and demanded to know why they must be stored in our living room.  “God forgive me for not accepting George’s compulsions.  Forgive my father for putting mental illness above wisdom, in my home and his.”

7:18 am

Dear Dad,
I’m sorry you’re so insecure that you must clutch at my poor, harmless family to maintain your self-confidence. It’s sad that your reputation is so important to  you, and so vulnerable,  that your entire family must serve as Robert-support.  You ran a credit check on my brother-in-law!   I disliked  the resulting years that my sister was not welcome in your home.  My mother has NEVER been permitted to choose even her own WALLPAPER!  My brother, he’s your mini-me but down deep he has a far better heart than yours.  Your nephew worked his ass off for you, but it was insufficient to demonstrate your dominance and superiority.  We are not your accessories. Maintaining your glamorous persona is not our responsibility.
I am flattered  that insignificant me is such a threat to your reputation that you would put me under surveillance, but it’s no surprise.  Twenty years ago you bugged your OWN OFFICE!  (My former babysitter told me so.  You two shouldn’t maybe have gotten so cozy.)   You sunk your claws into people I love.  You did this because you’re insecure about your own reputation.  This is pitiful and weak and my commitment to truth is neither.  You WILL tell the truth about my family that served God until you decided our behavior didn’t promote your self-theatre.  I will continue to demand truth until you announce my truthfulness, or until you die.  .
We other GOLDTHORPES  have lives of our own and although you do not recognize it, the fact remains that our lives are just as important as yours.  It is time to stand up and take personal responsibility for your own reputation.  I long to see you break free of your dependence on others to prove your value.  Get some balls. You’ll enjoy being a grown-up.
Always praying for you, Linda

———–

8/17/14

9:09 pm

God said to Elaine Tavolacci:

“I will give you peace in the midst of every storm. Know that I am He who walked on the water. I am He who rebuked the wind and it ceased. I am He who said “Peace be still” to the raging sea and it became still. It is I who have given you the same authority over the winds in the spirit realm and over the waves in the natural realm. Learn to recognize your authority in Me. Understand what it means to walk in love in every situation. I am calling those who will strengthen their brothers and sisters. Stand in the gap for those who are weaker in faith.”

 

More at:   http://ft111.com/tavolacci.htm

—-

6:19 pm

5:47
I made molten chocolate  cakes.   George and Josh had theirs and said they were wonderful.  When I went into the house to get one I heard Josh screaming at his computer, directing some “Fuckers” do do something violent. George was folding clothes in a nearby room.  Often when I’m asleep I wake up hearing Josh screaming profanities at the computer. George says nothing.  I think a man should cuff him alongside the head.  Swearing at a machine is stupid. Waking your mother with threats and profanity is unkind.  Sitting up all night doing this is deviant.  I dragged Isaac out of bed when he was thirteen at 5 in the morning and enrolled him in a very cold school.  He was soon kinder, and peaceful.  I am not permitted to influence this young man in any manner.
5:54 pm
I went in to ask if Josh would take two molten chocolate cakes up to his grandparents’ house.  (They gave him a car last week.  I thought the cakes were wonderful and they like chocolate more than I do.)  His words:  “Fine. Fuck it.  I’ll do it.”  “I don’t think they’ll care if you give them cakes anyway.”  (He’s right about that part, demonstrably.  I’ve done it many times.)   I asked George if he would say something to Josh and he said it’s kinda hard to say something when he doesn’t know what’s going on.  I said, “You know he sleeps all day, stays up all night and does no work.”  That made him mad.  I said, “He needs a man to intervene” and he told me maybe I should go find one.   I asked my dad to intervene three years ago, before things were like this.  He made other choices concerning my family and intentionally destroyed my credibility.  I’m grateful he’ll soon tell the truth and fix our relationships.

1:56 pm

My dad is not a problem in my life, he is my  opportunity.  Although his virulent falseness has created substantial difficulty for me and people I love, his future truthfulness will open many doors for us all.  He is frightened and ignorant, and he doesn’t know how to escape the terror he’s created.  He’d like to be seen as a good, kind man but the zeitgeist of increasing honesty is foreign to him.  (Isn’t it strange for us all?)  He knows that liars go to hell;  he’s had a foot through the gate for a long time now.  (He used to attend Moody Bible Institute, and  you don’t go there without hearing far too much  about hell.)   I look forward to the day when my son will do things for me just to be kind;  his father and I model that every day. (I look forward to the day when he doesn’t begrudge my every mouthful of food!)   I ‘m eager for the blessed day  my dad  behaves as the  caring person I know he is…behind the fear.  I look forward to freedom from subservience…and to entering my  time of  productive service.  I have been prepared for something awesome.  My dad will facilitate this and I’m grateful for him.

—-

8/16/14

7:23 am

I cannot prove that I’ve ever heard the voice of God, but I can prove that I have long believed  I did.  I can prove that I believed what I heard, from the voice that I may or may not have heard, that may or may not have been God.  I can prove that I did what the voice may or may not have said.  I can prove I’ve found 30 4 leaf-clovers in a half hour, and I can prove that responding to the voice I may or may not have heard  has made me more peaceful and loving. .  I cannot prove that I’ve heard other voices, but I can prove that I’ve long  believed I did. I can prove that the other voices I believed I heard  were perverse and I can prove that unusual things  happened to my body at the same time I may or may not have heard (and seen) perverse things. I can prove that I rejected those voices  in favor of the voice that may or may not have been God and I can prove that I did so consistently for many years.
—-
I can prove that others hear a voice they believe to be the voice of God.  I can prove that these others have experienced miracles according to the prediction and guidance of the voice they may or may not have heard, that may or may not have been God. I can prove that they raise the dead.  I can prove that humans intrude on others, with voices.  I can prove that government has often intruded on citizens and I can prove that they do so with electronic equipment.   I can prove that government is frequently perverse.  I can prove that they blackmail people and I can prove that they attempted to cause Martin Luther King Jr. to commit suicide.  I can prove that people often  take their own lives in desperation, due to the voices that I cannot prove that they hear.    I can prove that equipment can read our thoughts. Remote neural monitoring can prove when a brain hears a thing, or  when a brain thinks a thing.  I can prove that remote neural monitoring is used upon unknowing people all around the world.    I can prove that the records of my experience are identical to those of remote neural monitoring subjects.  I can prove that I prayed all the way through it. I can prove that I pray in tongues, I can prove that I do not “think” but “hear.”   I can prove that I am well.  I cannot prove that I have proven the existence of God but the psychotronic-jockeys know.
—–
I cannot prove my father had anything to do with the voices I may or may not have heard, or the physical effects that I experienced.  (I can prove them.)    I can prove that my father would not talk to me for two years after he read my book and learned how stupidly trusting I am.  I can prove that my father is now afraid of me.  I can prove that he gaslighted me in my community, in my home, and in the church.  I can prove that I have experienced powerful positive miracles in my life.  I can prove that my father’s life has proven materially profitable through self-serving manipulation of others.  I can prove he does not believe that God is the judge of the world.  I can prove that the voice of God that I may or may not have heard told me that my father was responsible for the perverse voices I may or may not have heard.  I can prove that I believe it.
—-
l cannot prove that Jesus is the light of the world, but I attest that  He is the only light I’ve ever seen and  I can prove that I’ve researched many topics for many years.  I can prove that the Bible predicted many things we are now experiencing on Planet Earth.  I cannot prove the future, but I can examine the proofs that have already proven true.  I can prove that my father lies.  “Falsus in unum, falsus in omnibus.”  (I don’t have to prove that, it’s a given.)   I can prove that I do whatever I hear from the voice that I may or may not hear, the voice that may or may not belong to God.  I will  yet prove that I am  living proof that God, through his Holy Spirit and Jesus Christ his son, does speak to people who seek light, and that he does not lie.  Trusting the voice that may or may not be God, I have predicted many things and I can prove it.   I  can prove that I believe I will  experience many more miracles, just like those I predicted before they happened, before.  I predict that my father will long to wash my feet after he begs for mercy.   The voice I trust  says I am the safest woman in Michigan. The voice I trust says that my father tried to murder me but that he could not accomplish it.   Others have told me the same but I guess it’s yet to be proven.

—-

5:27 am

Thoughts on Thinking and its Importance in the Electronic Police State

The Bible predicts many things about the time in which we live.  It predicts revelation of truth, yet I was surprised  that God used despicable spying  to provide that reality.  Spying is evil, as it intends to provide an unacknowledged  advantage to the spy.   The 17  (at least)  “intelligence” agencies in the US have done many good things for us.  (Why should I be surprised that God used evil men to give us truth?  All men belong to God, some “vessels of honor” and some “vessels of dishonor.”)  The operatives and politicians and judges sit in horror just now, as it comes to light what they’ve done.  Lying has been eliminated; this is evident to those who can recognize a lie.  Recognizing lies is an acquired skill.  Diligent effort has always been necessary to recognize lies… even in our own minds.  God told us so.

In today’s hyper-technical age, not all of our thoughts are our own.  This is readily evidenced by television.  (Advertising was invented as propaganda, initially by Sigmund Freud’s nephew Edward Bernays, the father of “Public Relations.”   It’s an interesting study.)   Some trains are equipped to pump an advertisement into a passenger’s brain, if he leans against the seat.  Billboards speak soundlessly to pedestrians in New York.  We know that fiction is fictional, yet we enjoy mental masturbation.  We permit stupid songs to run through our minds for days on end, even as we recognize they are not congruent to our thoughts.  We lack focus because we entertain ideas  that do not  promote our objectives.  We can’t sleep because our minds allow us no peace.  We don’t trust anybody because we hear disembodied  accusations of others.  We can’t hear God because we’re listening to bullshit.  This has always been the case (Google: demons) but nowadays there are many more influences  in our heads.  Some of these voices are paid for by our tax dollars.  It is lazy and ungodly to permit them to instruct our behavior.  However, one cannot do spiritual battle if one does not recognize the enemy.

Our enemy is NEVER other people.  Our enemy is the lie, and Satan is the father of lies.  All his bastards who lie will burn, as they now recognize.  Sadly, many of their victims are unable to fight back, because they believe all the crap they hear is originating  from themselves.  Some of the victims however, recognize demonic influence and have already  learned to reject false thoughts.  (They purchased the oil.  Google:  Parable of the ten virgins.)

It is relatively easy for a Spirit-led Christian to make the leap from long-embedded practice of demon-sighting, to recognizing electronic-mind-control-paid-for-by-us.  (Demons are not metaphor, as churchy-Christians tend to believe.)  If one has never recognized demon-talk in one’s mind, defense against any other influence is certainly impossible.  Offensive tactics are off the radar.  These people are  sitting ducks for Satan.  God never intended us to be prey, and he told us how to fight in 2 Corinthians 10:4-5:  “For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds;  Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ.”   When a person has practiced this for years,  the metallic hollowness of alien thoughts will immediately inspire Philippians 4:8:  “Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.”  I have felt sad lately, since Isaac left.  In a way it’s  inspiring, because my sadness is rational and organic.  I have reason to feel sad.  Often I feel things that do not fit the scenario. These things are not me.  We all feel irrational annoyance and pointless passions.    People who ruminate on  potential problems and disturbances become paranoid.  They assume that others will harm them, and that their intent  will be countermanded and undermined.  Such people become spies.  Thus is my father.

I have spent many thousands of hours talking to God, and listening too.  When another voice showed up in the “secret place” I knew it wasn’t God and I complained  about it.  He told me to tolerate the intrusion and I now see value in my experience.  I first believed the intruder to be a spirit rather than psychotronics, but they are very similar and I’m eager to know which thoughts came from what. (The voice was often very perverse.)   I recorded my prayers and reactions every day.  My journals could really help people.  But they are only valuable to those who recognize the enemy is the LIE, and not the subjects of their intentionally manipulated thought processes.  

 Dear Dad, get a rein on your evil mind.  People are not out to get you.  Satan is.  Love, Linda

“Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee.”  (Isaiah 26:3)

—-

8/15/14

10:36 am

They’re tearing down the house my dad was born in.  He saved it from ruin in the eighties.  I’ve been trying to text him all morning:

 

“I know you must be feeling pretty bad about the auction.  I’m praying for you.  I wish I didn’t have to be here.”

—-

10:19 am

“Teach us to pray”  That’s the sign in front of the church-house this week.  I haven’t met the new pastor yet, but it was good to see a Bible in George’s hands on Sunday before he went to church, and he told me the pastor spoke about the gifts of the Spirit.  (Either he hasn’t been apprised of the local  prejudice against  supernatural experience…or he knows a thing or two).  People asked Jesus how they should pray.  He told them, “Thy will be done.  Thy Kingdom come.  On Earth as it is in Heaven.”  Judging from most Baptist prayers I’ve heard, in Heaven people must spend all their time recounting how they were born again in 1962 and begging for money. Begging that some doctor  be clever enough to outsmart the angel of death.  Requesting “blessing” upon activities advertised in the bulletin.  Baptists pray for salvation of others.  I don’t think in Heaven we will do that.  In Heaven, we will BE that.”
 —
“Lord, may I please have a friend?  May I spend time with another person who loves being in your presence, and depends on you for everything?  I am very lonely, in my stand for truth.  I know your plan is best, and you’ve allowed me to spend years without talking to another Spirit-led person, and I thank you.  I thank you for what you’re doing with my life, and I’m sorry that I’d like to also enjoy it.  I’m sorry I haven’t seen the things you promised, it must be my fault.  What will it take, for your people to seek your face?  Thank you for delivering me from so many things…forgive me for desiring companionship.  BUT, you say that we humans need one another to fully express you, and that’s my only desire.  I am far better-off than so many of your servants.  Forgive me for desiring a friend.  As you wish.”

 

 

 

—-

2:27 am

Settlement negotiations: a Ditz-Free-Zone

8/15/14

2:25 am

 

Thank you Dad, for giving Josh a job and a car.  That’s a beginning.

 

8/14/14

12:55 pm

 

(I gotta believe the NSA gets a kick out of my dispute with my father.  Heaven know’s I’m not too interesting in the porn department.)

 

 

 

11:28 am

To Dad:

11:15 am
George is awake! ( I was being careful not to mow near his bedroom.)  This morning  I ran into another person to whom you lied about me.  It was hard to take, and I prayed that I would not become angry and that I could submit completely to God. He said what he always says lately, “Utterly complete vindication.”  It helped, but this time, I did not think of how “utterly complete vindication” will affect me…I considered how my vindication will affect you.  Every single person you know that I also know…will know that you’re a liar. (This  will happen before you are arrested, I think.)  I’m praying for your soul.  I’m praying that you will confess to my children and to God.  I’m praying that you won’t go to hell because you lied  about a woman who prays more than you like, believes more than you do, and tried to help her country.  Your lies will not be accepted forever.  How much better if you confessed?  (I mean better for you.  I’ll be vindicated, nonetheless.)  It’s a hard life when everybody is looking down on you.  I guess you’re going to find out.  My life was side-swiped by lies.  It might be easier for you, since at least the bad stuff is true.
Always praying for you,  Linda

 

 

——

9:30 am

Message to my dad:

Dear Dad,

Thank you for giving Josh a job; I just took him to work.  Before seven I’d made homemade cookies for his lunch. I made him a great sandwich with roast beef, sharp cheddar, Walla Walla onion and horseradish.  I’d like to encourage his working experience as much as I can.  You could encourage it too, by providing Josh with a schedule.  He  has not been required to leave his room for several years, and he’s never had to go anywhere on a regular basis.  A schedule would give him the adult experience of knowing when he is expected …and the other adult experience of looking forward to a day off.  Your  “jump when I say jump”  manipulations gained my compliance, and I wrote your occasional important  letter because I wanted you to like me.  I no longer covet your regard.  Josh never cares what anybody thinks and It would be good if his new job represented  a normal work environment.  Thank you.  Linda

 

——-

8/13/14

1:20 pm

Josh passed his driving test and has a license!  Also, my father gave him a job and put him to work already!  I’m grateful.  I’m very grateful.  My dad even called him this morning.  I’m very grateful.

 

—–

8/12/14

7:20 pm

I sent the following text, addressed to my father, with copies to my mother, my  brother, and to Brandon Postma and Kevin Keizer:

 

TO MY DAD—I hope you did not lie to Josh about your willingness to take him to your “True-Value” hardware store tomorrow to see about a job because I can’t take him because I lent my car to the prophet.  You have been given another chance to be truthful.  What time should he call you?

 

 

 

 

 

—-

6:49 pm

My dad told Josh he’d take him to the “True-Value” hardware store to make arrangements for a job tomorrow afternoon because I will have no car since I lent mine to the prophet.  I hope he wasn’t lying again.

 

 

 

—-

5:48 pm

Josh called my folks about the job at my dad’s True-Value.  (Yeah, I think it’s a funny name too.)  He said, “Isaac’s been gone one day and I’m getting a drivers’ license and a job.  Take that, bitch.”  Then he explained that Connie is a bitch…  I’m cooking souvlaki on a perforated pizza pan on the grill.  I’ve never used it for pizza, because I use a stone.  Using it on the grill was a good idea.  The grill is not up to par and burns the outside without cooking the inside.  Josh can’t stand rare meat.  He’s pleased about the job, although he hasn’t gotten a “yes” yet.  He plans to ask for an afternoon shift.  I told him I’d see to it that he got there whenever they wanted him.  I warned him that Grandpa will complain about his (neat, restrained, long) hair.  He shot off a bottle rocket in response.  I’m gonna have a heck of a time cleaning that pizza pan.
—-
Josh likes to be scary.  Do most men feel that way?  Isaac is unusual;  he is so sure of himself that he only seeks to be confirming, and kind.  George is unaware that he has any effect on anybody  at all.    But, my DAD is unhappy if his best FRIEND doesn’t pee his pants when he’s around.  I’m scary.  I’d rather be perceived as gentle and supportive.  That’s how I feel.  Josh said, “My goal is to make the government outlaw masking tape.”  He uses it for nefarious purposes.  He’s very smart.  He was damaged.  (He watched his mother be electronically raped for years.  His grandfather knows this.)  We ran out of propane so the remainder of the souvlaki will be cooked indoors.  Josh doesn’t realize how few mothers cook souvlaki for a single individual.  I pity his wife.  He’s so pleased about having a job that he’s shooting a lot of fireworks.  And it isn’t even dark.  He’s beautiful and he needs a man.  (I’m kinda glad my brother refused to help.)

 

 

 

 

 

——

7:43 am

George offered me to another man once.  I was too distraught by torture to really understand it at the time. Apparently he thought I could enjoy a night or two and return to him satisfied and orderly.  I didn’t question his love  for me.  (My father had always said he loved me.  He also criticized and controlled the things that were me.)   My definition of love had been so perverted that I did not even understand that in a loving relationship a person should naturally be very jealous of their intimacy. This thing should be  unavailable to others and it should be guarded.  I’ve never had cause for jealousy in a relationship with a man.  (I’ve had a difficulty  shaking men off.)  However, I can see from afar, that intimate things are worthy of  defense.   Neither my father nor my ex-husband sought to defend my modesty, nor any intimacy I may have presumed.  Neither yet understands how I was affected by surveillance and electronic rape.  Neither cares, obviously.  My father paid for my modesty to be destroyed. God told me he’ll give it back. He is teaching me about true love.  God is very jealous.

 

 

 

 

—-

8/11/14

2:58 pm

Isaac is in Appleton.  The UP state fair is happening, so he’s seen some traffic.  He said  his grandfather mentioned the possibility of Josh working at the “family” hardware store!  He said Grandma  mentioned it too, saying Josh wouldn’t  have to be around his grandfather very much.  (Major bonus, to my mind.)  I asked when this opportunity  presented and I guess it was just yesterday or the day before. (I check for when I’ve written what,  and I note the responses.)   I’m grateful that they are finally considering the welfare of my child.  I still think they should talk to ME, now and again.   (When Dad intended to  sabotage  my second congressional campaign he did not tell me about his plans.  He told GEORGE!)   Maybe my family is  thinking like family should think? Maybe I will not have to slap my dad’s cheek in the same building where I once washed his feet?  (I’ve been seeing visions of myself slapping him.  It could possibly  be God’s will that I do slap him, with my right hand, very hard.)  Maybe though, he does have a conscience?  He still hasn’t called me.   The fact that I’m a woman means far more to him than it ever did to me.  (Or to my husbands.)  He’s got a real problem going on.   Maybe he’s just plain stupid.  I’m praying for him.

 

 

—–

10:10 am

Text to my dad: “Prick. God forgive me.”

 

 

 

——

10:02 am

Text to my dad:  “Isaac left without truth.  You’re doomed.  I will continue to pray for your lying soul.  You’re welcome.”

 

—-

9:38 am

George just sent me a message on Facebook! He posted pictures of us saying good-bye to Isaac and said, “He is blessed.” I replied, “Us too. Can you believe him? God’s greatest gift to us, after Jesus.”

 

—-

9:30 am

9:28 am
He left. The four of us put our arms around one another and I prayed and then George prayed. My father can only dream of love like ours.

 

 

—–

8:28 am

Dear Isaac, I can’t imagine the confusing thought processes you entertained, and the torment  of spiritual searching it must have required for you to leave on this adventure.  I can  imagine how your sense of responsibility made you reconsider every pro and every con of such an endeavor.  I can’t imagine where you got the strength to do what you’re doing, but I’m glad you did.  Your quest is not only your own, do  people recognize that?  Your quest is to find not only what you require, but what many people long for.  I know you’ll find it.  I know you’ll share it.  I know that I will feel better in a couple hours.  You’re in the shower, I’m drinking the Corona you left in the fridge and hyperventilating.  When I told  you we were losing our adult, you said we’d better shape up.  I want nothing less for  myself and my roommates.  You’re our laughter.  You’re our inspiration.  I imagine we’re  better not to hook these necessities on a single man.  (It would certainly be better for you.)
 I’ve known few real men and I’m more grateful than I can express that my own son is such a rarified creature.  Go with God, as you always do.  Go with love, as you always do.  Go with my prayers and admiration. Go, knowing that God is in control and as long as you follow the Spirit you will never be wrong.  (Although it might feel that way at times.)  Your dad and I worked for a preacher once who only believed the written word. He would never tell his children he was proud of them because “pride cometh before a fall.”  (I take no pride in myself or my own activities, although I’m learning to love myself.  You taught me the necessity of that.  Thank you.)  I am however, and I believe the Lord approves my sentiment, very, very proud of you.  Rest easy.  You’re a substantial human being and a much appreciated man.  Find what you need and share it and we’ll all rejoice in your accomplishments.  I feel like one of those world-war-moms, sending her son into the abyss, for that’s just what I’m doing.  But God said you belong to him and he knows what’s best for you and for everybody.  Please remember that.  Much love and abject appreciation from the woman you salvaged from lies, even without ammunition
Happy trails to you.

 

 

 

 

——

8/10/14

4:03 pm

Guess what?  A childhood friend remembers me telling her about finding my dad with the babysitter.  She doesn’t remember a name.  I’m really glad of that.

 

 

—-

3:44 pm

 

My family hates truth.  They detest truth, and only accept portions if it proceeds from paid-for pastors or Fox News.  Even then, they manipulate it and sell it.   The men-folk shuffle in public, they lower their heads and sweeten their voices.  They only swagger when we’re alone together.  In private their stories of  superiority are punctuated with sly looks and hoots.  The Goldthorpe menfolk  are very proud of themselves and denigrate others.  They make donations of course, to THEIR organizations.  They pick up the tab and spend countless hours of lucrative boredom in “places of worship.”  They’re Baptist  for all they’re worth.  They do not worship.   I know this because I do, and they call me unkind names for my practice.   They don’t understand me because my faith has never earned me a dollar.  Their religion is profitable.
What in the world do fakers do with a relative who actually believes?  One who gives away diamonds and serves even strangers who cannot recompense with a favorable business contract?  What do they do with one who will not lie?  I found out.  My family has amassed a large amount of money based on falsehood and they attempt to destroy truth-tellers and lovers of Jesus, the Truth.  They do not understand true-believers, because they do not believe.  If they did believe they would cower knowing Jesus said it was better for a person to have a millstone around his neck and be drowned in the depths of the sea, than for  that person to offend a child  who believes in Him!  They must have  thought they were watching Colbert or something.  My family stole faith in Jesus’ blood right out of my children.  I told them all along what was happening.  They continue,  because  they just don’t believe.
—-
Jesus told me in 2007 that I’d be misunderstood again.  (He said he’s misunderstood too.)   He told me my children belong to him, their father belongs to him and so do I.  He told me two times to “withstand.”  He’s enabled me to do so.  He has enabled me to continue loving the liars who attempted and still contrive to destroy my influence with my children and deny them knowledge of our experience.  Love is  sometimes a difficult thing. Patient love is tremendously difficult.  I’ve been waiting for five years for somebody to tell my children the truth of the catastrophe we weathered.  My father has no reason to give them truth.  There’s no margin in it, and it would even cost him.  “Buy the truth and sell it not.”  (God said that, in the book my father claims to endorse.)
OK, I described  the con:  If my dad refuses  me, he suffers.  Here’s the pro:  when I possess his  missing truth, I’ll leave!  I’ll trust that my children and George will assimilate it and recognize value in the years I’ve “encouraged” my dad!  I’ll go somewhere else and help others who have been tortured as we have!  I’ll tell my story over and over and people will be set free by the very same truth my dad denies us!  Not much of a pro, to him.  I won’t probably sell it for even a nickel.  If he can’t see the bottom-line of a matter, he makes stuff up.

 

 

 

—-

8/9/14

6:21 pm

I didn’t want to join the men for breakfast when I’d already been up for twelve hours.  I asked George who pays for Josh when they go out.  He wasn’t sure.  He said he had a talk with Isaac and he (George) will now begin paying for internet at this house where Isaac hasn’t lived for over a year.  If I were Isaac I’d go very far away.

 

 

 

—–

4:03 pm

It’s been five years and my parents have not granted me audience concerning my issue.  Not even once.  David came down one time, years ago and said, “If you went through all that I’m sorry.”  I was crying so I didn’t think to ask how he had ANY IDEA what “all that” meant.  (He never talked to me after that and refused to help me find a situation for Josh.)  The Bible says you’ll know Christians by their love.  I’ve learned to know my family and they got no business preaching the gospel.  Just sayin’.

 

—-

3:19 pm

Bump to the top:

8/7/14
8:33 am
“Your way Jesus.  Only your way.  I know I’m redundant but it gives me peace to repeat myself.  I give you my life again, I give you every single person with whom I have to do.  I give you Michigan and America and North America.  I ask you to not allow me to look to the right or to the left or into the mirror.  I ask you to guide my every thought and gesture.  I ask you to release your fire of glory on us all.  I ask you to destroy everything that is not pleasing to you, even within myself.  I ask you to take over the entire world, as you will, and for your purpose.  I ask for peace amidst the storm.  I ask for joy unspeakable and full of glory for therein is my strength.  I ask for your manifest appearance so that none can deny or counterfeit your presence.  I ask for you to save humanity.  I ask for you to use me in any way you want, to accomplish your will.  I ask that you will take me lower and slower and not allow me to rise up against dishonesty and  injustice.  I ask you to give me grace to trust you and to depend on those things you’ve spoken, and on your heart of love.  I ask you to make me what I am not, and to use me as I cannot imagine.  I ask for more of you.  Amen.”

 

 

11:08 am

To my ex-husband George, who unfriended me on Facebook months ago:

Dear George, will you please buy me a beer because I’m really into something here and I think it’s important and if I maintain this buzz I might do something valuable and you’re going blueberry picking  but I don’t really want to leave the computer and I’ll bake the pie for you whenever you want and is Isaac coming out for dinner, and should I make something with zucchini and I promise I’ll get the fruit tart completed and do you know we’re engaged in World War III and the pestilences God talked about in the Bible are starting up and Henry Gruver was right and so was Selvaraj  (I listened to a recording of him speaking from California LAST NIGHT)  and now he often appears with Neville Johnson and DAVID THINKS I’M NEGATIVE!   MY own BROTHER!  God, George I know you always disliked how his voice was so high and phony…I KNOW you NEVER say anything bad about anybody, but you NEVER could stand my brother’s VOICE!  OK, here’s what’s going on:  My mom kicked me off her property, my dad, recently reminded of the time I found him on the couch with  [   ]  my babysitter (I wrote this in the books for Adam, too, and my dad knows it…) was KIND to me, for once.  My brother is so pitiful, God bless him;  you know what I mean.  He thinks I’m negative and I want EVERYBODY HAPPY!  My family does not understand sharing.  They think that they get happy first, then they get to decide whomever they think DESERVES to be happy and then they dish it out.  I was right all along, and so were you.  My dad is a fraud, please believe me, I know you love him because you never had a dad but he’s a liar.  Just trust me on this one, since you don’t read.  If he would confess all the things he did to intentionally destroy our marriage and our family and our confidence and our reputation and our sustenance…trust me on this one too, OK?  My dad is so sweet, and you know I love him.  He really, actually tried to murder me.  I don’t care at this point whether you believe me;  if you were more literate you would.  Strangers do.  I love you, dear George but we live on different planets.  You know this.  You know this.  You know we never get each other’s jokes!  Please, allow me to be truthful to you on every matter.  I take notes.  You don’t give a shit about me as a wife!  I am a fabulous roommate and I’d be better if you’d go out once in awhile.  Not my business, you do what you want.  I go to bed at seven and I work from three until 5, when I go to “Daily Mail” and read bullshit.  You really should find something you enjoy doing, I’ll help, I’ll do whatever you need!  I’ll pack your lunch!  We need to model direction and enthusiasm for Josh, and for Isaac.  We are too boring to rightly influence these men for whom we’ve been responsible.  I will not stop what I’m doing until God says to.  I believe my record of the revolution may become valuable one day.  You MUST require Josh to do things!  For HIM. not for me.  He will be a happier, healthier adult if he knows how it is to work.  You are HARMING my baby and I’m pissed at you.  I told you way back when that I was divorcing you because you dropped the ball with Josh while I was being tortured.  When the torture stopped  (YOU REMEMBER PICKING ME UP FROM THE FLOOR DO YOU NOT?  I recorded it a thousand times in the journals that Adam will soon sell to my father for 3.5 million dollars, of which I will retain 1/4 and of which remaining-quarter I will pay you and reimburse my boys for helping me run for office when my dad was trying to make me crazy and God said I had to run for office anyway?)  (I got a hell of a story running here; I wish you could love it.)  (We didn’t do ANYTHING WRONG.  We loved our boys and we loved Jesus and we [to what extent we were able]  loved each other.)  (We both gave God our entire lives and he took them. Have peace; you did well.  I don’t mean to criticize you and I’m sorry I do.  You and I see the world differently.)  (But JOSH SHOULD DO SOMETHING!)  (I’m done.)  I haven’t worn my glasses for two days!  I wish my dad would tell me if I should thank God or Keith Alexander!  Amen, and amen.

 

 

10:23 am

David, have you ever thanked God that you were born with testicles instead of brains?  You should.  Call me.  I’ll tell you how Dad talks about you.  906-291-1376  (Too “negative” for you?  Try being a smart-female-Goldthorpe for a minute.)  (This is not negative.  You also, are the chosen of Jesus Christ who can put your life into truth and eternity.  We must be truthful, however.)

 

 

 

—-

10:04 am

My family doesn’t want miracles.  This means  they don’t want God.  I have shown my family many miracles.  I used to weigh 300 pounds and my dad whined that he’d have to push my wheelchair when George left me for some hot babe on the midnight shift in the perimeter security vehicle.  Then I lost half my body-weight.  (Dad wasn’t impressed.)  By prayer.  The fat ladies at church asked, “After you prayed, then what did you do?”  I DID NOTHING AT ALL.  I couldn’t roll over in bed when my children were small, due to arthritis in my left hip.  I couldn’t slide into a car seat without supporting my substantial weight on my hands.  (My mom has had joints replaced repeatedly.)  Low and behold, God delivered me from arthritis.  Now I can do things I couldn’t do as a teenager.  I have been in the hands of God and I wish for all my family and acquaintances to experience healing and deliverance.  Instead, they call me names.  And I’m  “NEGATIVE?”   (David, I pity you more than I can say.)  I’m 54 and I can do things I never could before!  My handwriting was transformed overnight!  I can find 10 four-leaf clovers in a single day!  Join me, please.  Family, embrace God.

 

 

9:21 am

Dad, dear Dad, you and I know how bad this could get. You can only imagine the things I recorded in the journals that you have not yet purchased. (As far as I know. I haven’t spoken to Adam for years. Did you wise up?) Please alleviate your discomfort and the necessary penitence of your future years. Let me know what I need to know to help others who have fathers like you. They’re all over the world. You must come clean (now would help me, EVER would help you…) to assist the tormented. You WILL be tormented further if you choose to disregard my request. Again. You’re not stupid. Why did you marry a stupid woman? (Oh, yeah…) Your son is troublesome. (You’ve told me that.) I am your only hope to get out of this world alive. (Actually, Jesus is, but nobody else seems to tell you about Him.)

 

—-

9:08 am

Dear family, Prove me wrong about a single thing and I’ll drop the blog. Anything at all. If you refuse to speak to me, this is unlikely, I’m thinking. Even one thing. I have records. DO IT! Or STAND DOWN. Just sayin’…

 

 

—-

8:40 am

I went to my father’s house to deliver stuffed peppers.  My brother was getting into one of his fancy cars, my mother told me to leave.  (I pitched a toad out of her garage for her.)  My dad however, was kind.  As my brother and mother called me names (despite their never having spoken to me for years…) my dad was kind.  I said, “I saw you with [    ] on the couch and you know it.”  He does know it very well.   My mom is in denial and my brother is rich and does not have to consider others’ situations.  My dad and I know he is a fraud.  My brother and mother will have difficulty surviving  when this is proven true.  God forgive them and provide for them.  Thank  you.  Amen.  I’m so glad my dad and I see eye-to-eye.  He knows what he knows and I know it too.  Selah.

 

(Everybody knows the babysitter my dad played house with.  If I said her name, others would be involved.  Does my mom really want this?  She had her own “personal time” with the same girl…)

 

(Hey David.  You’re a fraud and you like it that way.  You can say I’m “negative” all you want.  You never listened to me even one time.  God is in control.  God forgive you and give you grace to embrace truth so you don’t go to hell.  I love you.)

—-

7:04 am

To my mama who didn’t even care when I was raped at seven years old:

6:20 AM

You gave birth to a person who can fix this world.  You have chosen to live as though you believe her father, a known liar.  What side are you on?  Which side are you on?  I do not believe you are a psychopath.  I want to know this is true.  I have opportunity to help fix the world.  Do you care about the world?  Do you only care about your own (counted, limited….influence or  self-indulgence..) effect TO YOUR OWN BENEFIT  influence on the WORLD….  I am glad I’m not you, Mother.  I am grateful every day,  that I am not you.  I also pray that you will come-true before you die.  I pray for you.  Do you pray for me?  This is not a test.  This is the end of time.  You have behaved fraudulently, you have yet room to be truthful.  You will not die, I’ll feed you.  Your man is a fraud, as you know, he’s unkind, as you know, and he’s destined for hell, as you know.  Come hither.  Come to me and I’ll feed you and I’ll speak to Isaac on your behalf.  Do not allow your desire to be accepted by those who know not God and demand that you assist your “man” to drive you to Hell.  I am here and I hear from God (not as often as I’d like but that’s his  business.  You KNOW BETTER.  Do not go to hell because 1)  you got knocked up at 17, or 2) you like your abundance too much.  Come, come from the dark side.  Come to me and you’ll never hunger or thirst.  (You might not get to speak bullshit from a podium but you’ll feel well none the less.)  Speak truth, absorb truth, and be free.  I’ll feed you, as I’m able.  (Wait!  I’m always able!  Dad couldn’t kill me even though he tried!  You KNOW THIS!  I am able because Jesus is my only guiding light.) The man you defend is evil.  I pray for his soul.  I pray for my father who tried to kill me.  I pray for you, who acquiesed  to his evil.  I pray.  Every day I pray.  JESUS IS LORD OF ALL!  Amen.  Your husband is a fraud, and you know this full well.  You are not him, and you can be free.  We are not subjected to this world’s effects, merely.  We will speak to Jesus in person, and this life is insubstantial.  You may be free.Will you come?  Will you speak truth?  Will you abandon physical abundance for eternal joy ?  Or, keep letting Dad fuck other women and give you diamonds? Are you human?

 

 

 

—-

5:37 am

“What are “social skills” other than  acquiescence to a construct of rules?  This construct  is prescribed by those who see differently, often far less.  Why is it deemed “abnormal” to see what one naturally sees, and to respond appropriately?”  –Goldthorpe

 

(I’m just spit-balling here.  I can barely count.)

“The line between profound talent and profound disability seems really, a surprisingly thin one.”

 

 

 

 

—-

8/8/14

2:20 pm

George and I went grocery shopping.  Isaac has no food at his house because he brought it all here as he packs to move.  I suggested we get something to bring to Isaac and Josh, who is still camped out in that empty apartment.  George agreed and suggested  Subway but I told him that’s all they eat all the time.  At the grocery store he finally said he’d get a cooked chicken.  But, he didn’t.  At Family Dollar he tried three parking spaces before backing into one.  At  Rahilly’s he had opportunity to  drive directly into an open place at the curb.  He didn’t notice it of course, and had to go ahead and back up to get there.  He ALWAYS makes a left turn INTO the oncoming lane without looking.  I’ve suggested that driving a couple yards further would allow him to turn into the lane he is supposed to drive in.  I won’t say it again because it makes him mad.  But, I hate riding with him.  I hate that his negligence makes us all look bad and even puts us in danger.  He fixed the air conditioning. It’s August 8.  He should be buying firewood instead, I think.  No matter what he leaves to do,  he must return because he’s forgotten something.  I should not hold this against him.  I WILL  to not hold this against him. (God, forgive me for judging my brother. Please forgive my father who negated my  healthier influence  in favor of George’s.)
George’s days off are very hard for me.  He bought me a bottle of tequila so I suppose I’ll be ok this long weekend, one way or another.  He also bought two thirty-dollar Applebee’s gift-cards.  I asked if they were for Isaac.  He said no, they were for him.  He DOESN’T GO ANYWHERE.  Maybe he plans to send them to his girlfriend in Tennessee?  He bought her a ring for Christmas but he doesn’t always answer her calls anymore.  I WISH I KNEW WHAT MATTERS TO HIM!  (No, maybe I don’t.  It’s not his family, no matter how kind and generous he is.)   I told my dad once, “I wait on everybody here all the time.”  He said, “I can believe that.”  I told him another time, “I live in a house, where if I don’t do it it don’t get done.”  He acknowledged this as well. He told people for years that George is deficient.  YET–he undermined my influence and still refuses to step up to the plate.   George loves him and often says, “I should ask your dad about…”  I don’t even listen anymore.  My dad has intentionally countermanded good-thinking.  Knowledgeably and with intent.  He’s in hell already.
“Lord, I do not like what I’m doing.  I do not like expressing disapproval of your son and the love of your life, George.  I do not like living in an environment of sloth, compulsive retention of junk, and Disney TV.  But, my life is not about me and I choose your plan.  I submit myself to you and will speak truth as you direct.  I will not expect assistance, respect or provision from any human.  I will live in second-hand men’s clothes and bring stuffed peppers to my father again tomorrow and rise at 3 am and for the 439th day in a row I will record the revolution.  I will do as you wish.  Your plan for Planet Earth is astounding and one day you and I will laugh about my discomfort in this tiny movie-set called time.  Thank you for loving me.  Thank you that one day others will love me too.  Please give me grace to be kind to all those you’ve put into my life.  Give me courage to be truthful.  Thank you that you have a plan for all of us.  Thank you for my destiny.  Forgive my impatience and discontent.  I await the day I have ‘utterly complete vindication.’  I long for the day I see your face.  Amen.”

 

 

 

 

—-

8/7/14

8:22 am

Bump to the top:

5/24/14
8:41 am
I know some very important truth.  I’ve been trying to get attention to this issue for years  and I can’t think of much else I could do.  I’ve written letters and and articles and  poems.  I made phone calls to support groups. I put flyers under windshield wipers and nailed my controversy to the churchhouse door.  I spray-painted words on the snow in front of my dad’s office.  I dyed my hair red and started drinking beer!  (People are talking about how I drink a lot and stood on my head.  My mom  was screaming, accusing me of being drunk  so I stood on my head to prove I wasn’t.  I get too dramatic…)  My life is full of paradoxes and I can certainly understand that my behaviors might appear to contradict.  I can’t hope to explain doctrinal distinctions to people who do not even believe God can talk to us.  (There’s a REAL contradiction:  the same God who raises dead bodies …can’t communicate with living ones!)  “A paradox is truth standing on its head trying to attract attention.”
I was being immobilized every day, vomiting, unable to move.  (My blog includes articles describing the effects of microwave weaponry, and my journals document identical experiences.  Except itchy eyeballs.)   Then I was hacked by a moral atheist and given some important truth and I no longer threw up!  I was my usual hyper-active self!  I wanted to fix everything, especially the family who had languished while I was incapacitated.  So I went to my father for help.  Instead of receiving assistance,  I was followed, hunted, set-up, reviled, reported, encouraged to behave in a crazy manner, ridiculed, threatened and my concerns for my children were ignored.
—-
My Christian parents did not respond to a single letter I wrote, did not return phone calls or emails for more than two years. They did not express sympathy for my family although they knew we were suffering.  Lies isolated me from all family.  My father still has not asked what I accuse him of doing.  He has never asked.  Nobody has asked to see my evidence of organized gangstalking and electronic torture.  Yet, I’ve been cursed and maligned.  Herein, another paradox.
My truth is very important for everybody, but it’s incomplete.  Truth is Jesus and Jesus is a body with many members.  Without everybody’s input, we don’t see him completely.  I’ve sought answers for about five years, since the torture began.  Every time I’m given another piece of the puzzle, I’m astonished and grateful at how well God prepared me and guided me.  My mom recently gave me a bit of truth, about a friend.  Several years ago God told me to discontinue communication with my dear friend, or we would hate each other.  I do not choose to hate anybody and God has seen to it that I don’t.  So far.  (“Lord do not allow me to rise up and do not let me make even one mistake.  Please help your people, we must  get the world out of our heads, and get our faith out of the world.  Amen.”)

 

 

 

—–

5:11 am

Indian Prophet Fortells Coming Russian Invasion? – Rick Wiles TruNews

I’ve spoken to Sundar Selvaraj several times, we used to go hear him at Chinese churches in Toronto.  (I’ve never met Neville Johnson but I listen to him a lot.)

Russian occupation of America.  (Henry Gruver also has seen visions of Russian troops here.  I’ve spent time with him too.)

 

Here’s Selvaraj with Rick Wiles on Wednesday, 8/6/14

Interview starts at 13:15

 

——

8/5/14

4:01 pm

Isaac isn’t making much progress at packing for his move.  He was here, eating and doing laundry.  I found a list Josh made for him, Item 1:  You won’t get your jobs done here.  (Josh is a very fine list-maker.)  Isaac called me a psychopath, he said everybody he knows is a psychopath…except his father.  I am chastised that he’s leaving my domain without knowing that increasingly valuable definition.  He said, “Everybody I know is going to jail.”  I told him that the psychopaths are the ones who imprison  others.  (Maybe he’ll look it up.)   I made George angry today, it doesn’t happen too often.  As I was putting away the mower under the carport he was looking for a frisbee in the adjoining closet.  He said he was going to ask Josh to pick up his collection of 8-ft poles that disrupts storage and impedes the mower.  I suggested that he also ask Josh to sweep out the carport and he got mad. Then I had the temerity to say that I thought he should ask Josh to do something every day.  When Isaac came I was holed up in my bedroom with a book.
Psychopaths manipulate others.  Manipulation has been a moral struggle for me.  I could have easily manipulated George over these decades of our connection, at first I did.  It was a daily challenge for me to allow him his way in matters I deemed important.  I chose to be a Godly woman so I struggled with God a lot.  (There are many instances recorded in my journals.)  Psychopaths manipulate others so things are their own way. Sometimes psychopaths want very little.  Nonetheless, they’ll do whatever it takes to attain what they want. George wants things to remain the same, no variety, no changes.  He has observed Josh’s reactions to my expectations  and he  will not expose his sameness to that  turmoil. We’ve been divorced for nearly two years and he hasn’t even noticed.  I am still here.
I am still here because of my mission.  I am on a truth-quest.  I filed for divorce because of Josh.  I wanted Josh to experience an environment of exploration and responsibility.  He was indoctrinated that my ways are peculiar and pathological. He knows his father is kind and expects nothing.  My father’s intervention in my family created a situation that only God can fix.  I’m growing impatient.
Isaac knows a couple who plan to marry and wonders about potential culpability  if he doesn’t point out their disparate values.  I said he might feel guilty when one of them knocks on his door after their divorce.  He said he’d maybe feel worse to watch them spend years together in desperation.  (He does see George and me, even if he does not understand the dynamics.)   I cannot stop demanding truth until I get it.  I desire truth for my  sons more than myself.  I’m personally steadied by the headlines that document my claims of torture.  I am assured that the Holy Spirit is always right, and never late.  Late for what?
—-
Isaac is having dinner with my parents tonight.  I’m praying for a miracle, as always.  I’m also trying to set up an appointment for Josh to take a driving test so he can get a license.  Do you know Michigan’s Secretary of State has unlisted numbers?  I got the number from my dad’s secretary because he’s their landlord…but they don’t ever answer the phone.

 

 

 

 

—-

8/3/14

2:41 am
With Isaac moving away, all three of us are losing our best friend.  We’re each losing our only confidante, and our sole encourager.  We’re losing our leader and our laughter.  Through torture and ostracism Isaac has stoked our individual desires to improve ourselves and to impact the world.  Our house is sensory-deprivation-central.  (I wrote that to my folks one time during the years they refused to speak to me.  I begged them to help me find opportunity for Josh.  Instead they attempted to destroy my sanity, and spread rumors about how terrible we are.  I knew they hated me; I had assumed they would help me get Josh to higher ground.   I have copies of everything.)   Isaac saved my life.   He will be missed more than he should know, and I’m happier for him than I am sad  for us.
4:49 am
I feel like my throat is closing off.  I can’t stand to think about life here without Isaac so I’ve tried  not to.  I REALLY can’t stand to think about Josh’s life.  He has nothing and nobody. God said Josh belongs to him, and also reminds me that  he is never late.  I know he has a plan for me and for these three beautiful men.  My dad could tell the truth and restore relationships before Isaac leaves.  Then Josh would have me, at least.  George and I could then communicate and Josh would respect us.  Isaac could know he is not abandoning helpless people.  My dad could set things right after years of tearing us down.  I’m praying that he will have the courage.

—-

3:46 am

This is the second case I’ve found where an American court has granted protection to a targeted individual.  Truth is being exposed.  No wonder my dad refuses to  talk!

—-

“After a landmark court case, a California Targeted Individual victim of a secret cell tower radio frequency directed energy weapon, won her case in court against her perpetrator, she has been inundated with other targets pleading for help. The win has stirred the strong emotions and hope of hundreds of innocent targeted individuals, all claiming they are being attacked by secret microwave weapons used for mind control and to torture them.”

Secretly Microwave-Assaulted Targeted Individuals

Read more at:   http://beforeitsnews.com/spies-and-intelligence/2014/08/secretly-microwave-assaulted-mkultra-vcitims-2446568.html

 

—-

8/1/14

12:44 pm

12:41 pm
My dad lied again.  He told me he was selling Grandma Kilpela’s cabin to a guy from Alaska, when I asked if my cousin could live there.  Now, lo-and-behold, he’s fixing it up.  I guess one of his fake-Christian friends will be renting it.  Kathy cannot.  He cannot help but lie, that’s a given.  He could stop pretending to be a Christian, though.  That would be prudent at this point.

 

 

—-

8:56 am

How is it possible that my dad will not tell me the truth about ANYTHING?  I ask about gas caps or where to buy firewood…he always lies.   He lied again:  I asked where I could get rails for the fence that is broken in front of my house.  He said he didn’t know and suggested I nail a board to the back of the broken piece so the ends look like they’re together.  Now I find that he is in possession of a LOT OF RAILS.  He is absolutely incorrigible.  I guess I should be glad he’s talking to me, for years he wouldn’t.   I’m very glad he’s God’s business and not mine.

 

—-

8:19 am

Bump to the top:

To newcomers, I challenged my dad in  2009.  I prayed a lot, often in my car, frequently all night and far from home.  My ex-husband knew where I was and it was none of my father’s business.  My father abducted my children and reported my behavior to the State Police (Derusha) and my (former) doctor (Hannert).  Then he influenced my then-husband to report on me so I could be arrested.  (Instead George called me and told me to go very far away.  I went to Minnesota.)  When confronted, my father refused to apologize or to make it right.  I challenged him thus: “I know Jesus is real.  I know your religion is fake.  You are now my enemy.  It will be your religion, or my faith.”  (Then he tried to kill me, tried to starve me out, destroyed my reputation, took my house, tried to drive me crazy, tried to murder me, yada, yada, yada.)  I was right.

 

 

 

7:32 am

From 7/27/14

It’s been two weeks today, since I spoke to my dad.  I just went to the store to buy the first beer I’ve purchased in a month…and he drove by towards my house.  Every time I leave the compound he sees me and I see him.  It’s really weird.  It’s been going on for years.  One time I met him snooping around  Isaac’s apartment at six in the morning!  He was really frightened.  (That was a couple years ago.  I was dropping a friend at the bus-stop.)  In May he expected Isaac and nearly fell down the stairs when I answered the door!  He said, “IT’S YOU!” (He was four steps down by the time I spoke.)   I know how it is to live in fear and I pity him.  Overcoming fear requires facing reality.  I wonder if he’s man enough?

8/1/14

There is an unsweetened iced tea-drink on the grill.  I wonder if Dad left it there?  He’s the only person I know who buys it.  Maybe he came to see me while I was visiting his relative in jail?  Maybe he’s a man after all?  (He should leave me a big fat check instead, and he knows it full well.  So does Jesus.)  I’ll keep everybody posted.  That seems to be my job.

 

 

 

—–

5:16 am

I’m trying to advise Isaac, as he prepares to leave the UP.  “Stay out of your head.   Please spend more time on the downloads.   When you have a weird idea about some future desire, bank it.  Later on you’ll remember it and know it was right.”  He asked, “What is freedom”?  I said absence of judgement.  Isaac said the positive side is options. He said I can do my blog from anywhere.  “Enable people to have the most impact in whatever they do.  Your business is your life.”  Isaac said my attempt to move Josh into David’s house had been a good idea. Cousins, friends.  Isaac said he thinks Josh should work someplace where he could talk to lots of people.  Like, he’d probably enjoy working at a gas station or a store;  he’d joke with the regulars and get to know people.  He said Grandpa bitches about Josh.  Grandpa created Josh by undermining Godly influence.  Grandpa is a hypocritical psychopath.  My Jesus does not like what Grandpa has done to a family that loved both of them.  I have not said even one thing that I cannot document.  Grandpa has had five years to tell the truth.  He’s chosen to burn instead.
I have to pull together a little cook book for Isaac.  My mom gave him an induction hot plate.  Flat bottom pans must have magnetic susceptibility to connect to it.  Cast iron.  He wants a stir-fry recipe.  The kitchen in Colorado  is fully stocked, $150 per person. Grains, organic-free-range eggs…could this all be bullshit?  He’s got a weekly chore.  That Buddhist landlord did his homework.  Rent for entire house is $6,200 per month.  The den-master is a consultant of orgasmic meditation  who will provide organic meat if it is desired by the majority. They’re taking a poll about house hours.  They have a joint Costco account and a joint bank account.  He’s a bit concerned about crossing state lines with his car not looking its best.  He’s going to Colorado and grateful that he doesn’t have dreadlocks anymore.  He knows that social fears are the greatest of all fears.  Social fear is the basis of all fears.  “Fear of man”, the Bible calls it.  “What if they think I’m crazy or scary?  You’ve got to throw all that away and just do it.”  Isaac wants a tattoo that says, “No Mind.”  “They’ll reject you if you’re stuck in your head.  Everybody is looking for the god in you.”  I agreed:  “Christ in me, hope of glory…etc.”
“Trust in the Lord with all thy heart and lean not on thine own understanding;  in all thy ways acknowledge Him and He will direct thy path.”  Sermon for the night.  What’s a freedom movement?  Me:  “Two free people standing together.”  What would freedom look like?  Isaac:  “The problem is  not that we’re not fighting tyranny enough, but that we’re not loving freedom enough.”  He’s chosen some people  to tutor his tribe about online marketing and spiritual truth.  He thinks if enough people get the vision, the tribe will just grow.  He thinks I could earn some money at Wake-Up-Now but I told him I have to finish this project that God started  in 2006.  I could have “passive income to depend on and learn foreign languages and keep up the blog on a beach somewhere.” But I have to see this through.  Despite all the loving letters I’ve sent to my parents the only one they showed to others said, “My boys will lick your blood.” Funny, huh?  Facing my children with truth would be far easier than eternal torment.  Does my father actually think he’ll still manipulate people in Hell?

 

 

 

—–

7/31/14

2:48 pm

Bump to the top, from 6/10/14

Before the Kingdom of God can be established on Earth, a lot of organizations must come clean, or come down.  I can’t think of a group that is not polluted by a history of exploiting young people.  From the Vatican to Disneyland, children are sexualized and traumatized by those they trust.  The Mormons, the Baptists.  “Presidential models” and mind-controlled government sex slaves.  All the major groups use kids and then dispose of them.  Satanists believe drinking young blood gives renewed life to aging perverts.  (Did you know that scientists say that really works with frogs?)  There is an outstanding arrest warrant for the queen of England because she and her consort walked off with a dozen kids in Canada, in 1964.  The kids were never heard from again.  A guy in Europe nailed the queen’s summons to some door somewhere and is currently detained in a psychiatric hospital.

Bullets are approaching.  My duty is to yell  DUCK!  Run for cover!  My discourse has been deemed unkind, even unloving, but I beg to differ.  The most loving thing we can ever do for any person is to  1)  discuss our concerns with Jesus, and  2)  follow his advice on their behalf.  This is not easy  for a wimp like me but, “His ways are not our ways.”  Jesus says my dad is in Satan’s crosshairs; how can  I not scream to him?  How could I speak politely when my dad’s eternal soul is balancing on a hair?  Should I regard his lies as unimportant,?  How could I ignore the threat to my father when they  proffer (wink)  substantial ammo for the enemy of our souls?  How could an observant moral  woman not point out to Jay Walsh that he went AWOL?  Little girls were raped on his watch, and they still suffer.  When  I confronted Jay  (after overhearing him call me crazy to strangers) he announced his position:  “I’m 83 and I don’t want to worry anymore.”  I’ve read heartwrenching letters from missionaries’ kids whose parents served ABWE.  I dare say he should begin to worry.  At Manikiki Bible Camp Jay introduced me to Jesus.  I thought they were acquainted!  Jesus is not the fable Jay apparently believes him to be.  Jesus does not like seeing little girls raped in his name!  Jesus is real and he is here.  I won’t ever respect a church that does not recognize this fact.  Nor any family; however they will respect me.  (“Forgive me Lord for desiring vindication but I want it mostly for you.”  “I also am very eager to preach.”)  One does not obtain a “get out of jail free” card because one’s paycheck is signed by a “Christian” organization.  However, clemency is available, even to the doomed soul who signed  forementioned paycheck.    906-291-1376
My son’s acquaintance was in jail, in a two-man cell with 5 occupants.  The guards pushed food under the door through a space short enough to scrape off the top.  The opening had not been scraped of toxic debris for decades.  One day an old guy died with them.  They thought it prudent to wait until “chow” time to inform their captors of the decedant, lest they be reprimanded.  The guards came in with billy clubs and wailed on the body to determine whether the aged-inmate had truly expired.  What if he were faking death?  Maybe he wouldn’t have been beaten?
Gentlemen, I know far more than you do about the world we inhabit, and far more ABOUT YOU than you should permit me liberty to insinuate.  3.5 million.  Condo.  Two trust accounts.  Gold and silver.  One car.  One truck.  At your leisure.  Jesus owns your fate no matter when you decide to pay me.  Or to tell the truth.   Or both.

 

—-

7:26 am

Bump to the top, sent to my dad on 10/24/11  (just after he read my book, before he did a TON of work on the property, then realized I didn’t understand what went down and STOPPED TALKING TO ME ENTIRELY FOR TWO YEARS):

I’ve been trying to listen to a tape Growmaster made.  He wrote on the case, “Shit my dad did.”  It’s taken me weeks to get through the shit his dad did.  They lived really far in the woods, and when Dad left for the day, they were completely isolated.  I had a hard time with the story of how their father held them by their ankles outside a second-floor window.  (This was not a fit of passion.  He held each of them, in turn.)  When a gunshot went through the bed, I turned off the tape-recorder. The bullet passed through a wall and a dresser on the other side.  (Growmaster’s sisters were in that room.)   He remembers going to school for a couple years, here and there.  Growmaster still takes his baby to visit the old man.  It’s 100 miles, one-way.  I get to see that baby too, tomorrow.
My dad apologized last night.  He said he was sorry he’d been a “bad dad” and that you don’t get to have your babies over again.  I told him that I’d like to be his friend.  He said I was “scary”.  Whatever.  He’s said that before.  One time I asked him, “Why can’t you just let me love you like I want to?”  He said, “It’s scary”.   It was scary for me every time he woke me from the bedroom door, pitching a shoe at my head, so I guess we’re even.
He made three trips bearing leftovers from a Halloween party.  He brought huge tubs of ice cream and 1/2 gallon of hot fudge.  I was so amazed at his second trip, that I cracked a joke looking around for hot dogs in his car.  He went back and got some. (Maybe he even stopped to buy some, they didn’t look like a commercial package.)  My dad does things like that.
He’s always the first one at an accident, and he saves people’s lives.  He’s the most generous person I know, other than George and Isaac I guess.  He loved his mother very much and every year gave her roses, on his birthday.  The best presents ever, he takes people places all the time.  He researches cool things. (If he and Isaac ever got to spend much time together, they could teach each other a thing or two.)
Isaac reports amazing smart things that Wonderful tells him.  It surprises him how many principles of business stewardship I already understand.  Wonderful knows I do.  I listened to my dad, even though he wasn’t talking to me.
My dad was not a bad dad.  My dad was a lonely dad, and it made me lonely too.  I always wished he would yell. He wouldn’t slam a door, he closed  them with static precision that stole my air.  He’d walk very softly, still does, as though he must defend each footstep.  I’ve seen him bite the nipple from an exquisite European truffle and throw the rest out the window.  To prove he was in control.  (Sometimes chocolate calls him.  He told me that.)  It’s a hard way to live.
We were watching family videos the other day.  I wanted my babies to be perfect.  I had waited a long time and was jaw-set to do things right. (I cried in a Big Boy parking lot because my mother commented on how much food we got on the floor.)  This video though, was gorgeous boy-baby, lying on his back and refusing to perform.   My hands were in his face the whole time.  I was tapping his cheeks and demanding:  Smile!  Smile!   I was just like my dad.

 

—-

5:19 am

Josh’s cat is gone.  His friends have moved to Marquette and in a week his brother will leave.  He has nobody and nothing in Helmer.  His father does not encourage him.  (In his Fathers’ Day card Josh said, “I always enjoy your antics.”)  Josh has friends in Toronto.  My dad  has a condo in Toronto.  My dad has also systematically attempted to destroy Josh’s  family.   (I’ll show my records to anybody.  My password is aztecgold.)   I  think my father should come see me again.  I might be too busy to talk to him; the revolution isn’t going to record itself… however, this is a no-brainer to anyone who has a brain…if he also has a heart.

 

 

7/29/14

5:52 pm

Everybody is in prison, just on different levels.  My mom and dad’s prison is status and wealth.  George’s prison is the prison and my prison exists only in my mind.  The sky’s no limit and truth has established residence in my heart and on this planet.  I’m overjoyed.  The government is intentionally keeping us scared so we won’t revolt.  They’re scared to death of us.  Heads are gonna roll and the NSA proved that beyond the shadow of a demon.  Speaking of “doubt,”  I’ve learned to release it.  I plead the blood of Jesus if it gets really intense but most of the time I’m very chill.  I’m loving this summer.  I’m tanner than I’ve been since I ran for office, and I’m cooking like an angel.  I finished Dostoyevsky today and might even read a “chick” novel that Sydni recommended.  My dad cleaned all the clovers from his office door, I imagine he had to use a razor blade.  He’s good with blades.
The nuclear plants are all wearing out, the technology is ancient and unsustainable.  This is a lose-lose.  People are going to be dropping dead in the streets!  Has anybody ever watched the movies?  Ebola makes you “bleed out.”  I am SO VERY glad I will not have to go that way.  I am grateful to be impenetrable and to have an astonishing tolerance for alcohol.  I do not doubt that I am made able to do anything imaginable.  This is a very fine feeling and I’ve been waiting for it all my life.  I predicted this in my journals.  I said that “one day I’ll just be able to do whatever I feel like doing and I’ll be so full of the Spirit of God that whatever I do turns out to be exactly right at exactly the right time.”  I astonish myself every day.  The Lord said I’d never have to hurry again and so far I haven’t had to even once.  I am in a prison cell but it has a very fine view.  When doubt hits me it’s not like a pain, it’s like a big empty place, like a hole.  It’s dark and it’s scary but it’s gone instantaneously.   I’m in God’s hands and it’s great here.
—-
One time God swung me.  I was at a park waiting for my friend to finish telling off his handlers on the phone. I was on a swing and pumping for all I was worth.  It made me pretty tired, but then I noticed I was going higher even as my legs got tireder.  Then God said, “let go of the chains.”  I had to do it, he was swinging me.  I went over my head for about 25 minutes without slowing down.  It was so astonishing!  My friend even noticed that I seemed to be swinging for a long time.  People don’t actually notice too much.  I’m eating sweets again, and fixing rugs.  I got out the ironing board and I’m spending less time at the blog…but it seems I get more done.  I dream all the time but not much worth mentioning.  I haven’t been hit by the Spirit very hard for a long time so I know it’s coming soon.  I can’t wait to see what he gives me!  I can’t wait to see his face!  This has been a very long project.  I told Isaac the other night that I’d be free in a week or two.  Then I will listen to his plan for prosperity.  He’d like me to get involved.  So would George, I’ll wager.  I made a very special almond cake today, I don’t make them often because they’re costly.  It’s perfect and I’m eating a lot.  I even ate chocolate.  I’ll be very surprised if he doesn’t start making me thinner now.  That’s usually how it works.  I fasted for twelve days and didn’t lose an ounce.  Other times I wake up two sizes smaller than I was the night before.  It’s been going on for years.   I wrote down tons of stuff that has turned out to be true.  God said I’d have “utterly complete vindication” and the respect of my family.  He said I’d be a sign and a wonder.(…but he says that to everybody.)  He said my dad would give me 3.5 million dollars, of which 3/4 I will happily present to Adam de Angeli.  Is God real?  Anybody wanna make a bet?

 

 

 

——-

7/27/14

3:22 pm

Bump to the top from:

5/12/14
10:27 am
Dear Dad,
The police state is out of control and we will all die unless something changes.  My story is amazingly well documented.  It only lacks the piece that you own.  The ACLU has not found a plaintiff who can connect all the dots.  If you tell me who you paid to rape me, I could change America.  I know you like America as it is because you’re a psychopath, but please consider my children.  If you tell me what I need to know I have an irrefutable case against this evil government.  I know you like war, and I know you think the US is always right but they’re destroying many lives.  TELL ME WHO YOU PAID TO RAPE ME and I will change the world.  Thank you.

 

 

—–

7/26/14

9:22 am

Nobody gets to go to heaven who does not embrace truth.  Heaven may be what I think or what you think or what the scientists who study near-death experiences say…but the human spirit does not die.  Any  human spirit that lies and accepts lying… will suffer.  (References on request.)  Truth is to me, a person.  I don’t know him as well as I’d like but when he’s around …even this tormented and tormenting earth is heaven.  Liars are afraid.  (…fear hath torment… 1 John 4:18)  I prayed for divine love.  I prayed for years that the love of TRUTH  (Jesus, John 14:6) would so envelop me that I could suffer any wrong, love the perpetrator and ascend to humanity’s highest destiny.  (Journals, references on request.)  I have not yet been gifted with divine love, but I’ve seen it.  Love is not possible without truth.  Truth and love  are the same person.

 

8:34 am

Dear Mom, 
Isaac believes, as I once did, that you and his grandfather have our best interest at heart.  I willingly signed the deed to my home over to the boys entertaining this mistaken presumption.  Dad’s intentions soon became evident when he began tormenting Isaac about taxes and insurance.  (I retain copies of many messages begging my father to cease plaguing my kind uber-responsible son who already wonders how he’ll care for his own father in his retirement.)  As you know, for years after we moved here, George paid mortgage, taxes and insurance on the old house without receiving a penny from its inhabitant, so her children could stay in the neighborhood–Dad once cared enough about those kids to take them to Sunday School each week. Dad paid property taxes here…right up to the moment he gave my house to Isaac.  In retrospect (and documented by 1) copies of letters, 2) volumes of journals, 3) information from the goons…) his behavior makes perfect sense.  My business with you is this:  Isaac said  you agreed to pay the summer taxes so he could move to Colorado to nurture contacts for his newest venture.  I do not believe you are a psychopath like Dad, but you’re very subjugated.  You and my father have lied to Isaac for years.  If you do not mean to help him, say so.  I do not wish to demand that he show me a receipt before he leaves.  Thank you.
(“Dear Lord, please do not let my mom go to hell just because she got knocked up by a divorced vet with a chip on his shoulder.  Amen.”)

 

—–

7/24/14

10:10 pm

Dear Dad and Mom,

Thank you for the dividend checks in sums totaling five dollars and eighty cents.  Thank you for giving  me $5.80 each quarter over the past year.  As always, I’m grateful for the assistance in reestablishing a life for myself and my son.  The dividend check for $1.80 makes payment to Linda Goldthorpe  Miller.  My name is not Miller.  It is Goldthorpe.  To facilitate the required transfer of property I’ve delivered copies of my 1) passport, 2) social security card, and 3) driver’s license to your office.  Twice.  I am not  Miller.  I am Goldthorpe.

Josh has been offered two jobs but says they don’t meet his “requirements.”   He will be eighteen in two months and his father does not think he should be required to do anything at all.   I spoke to you both about this situation years ago when your determination that my family should fail had you engaged in taking my property and disposing of me.  Your culpability grows greater with each passing hour.  I pray for your salvation.

“Lord, you watch all of us.  You know our hearts.  You judge righteously.  Please have mercy on my parents.  Do not let them die with my blood on their hands, nor the blood of the men who depended on me until my parents 1) put me under surveillance, 2) destroyed my earning potential, and 3) eliminated my credibility.  Thank you for the gift of confidence and for guiding me through the gates of hell itself.  Please give my dad courage to tell the truth so I can help others.  Amen.”

 

 

 

——

7/20/14

6:15 am

Henry Gruver taught me how to prayer-walk.  Listen to the first five minutes.

 

5:10 am

“I have been accused of using the terms sociopath and psychopath mindlessly, accusing everyone I merely disagree with of sociopathy or psychopathy.  Oh, no.  No no, no.  As with everything I say, I am going for crystal clarity and PRECISION.  Socio/psychopaths are people who do not feel shame or guilt.  As a result they lie, cheat and manipulate with extreme ease with a single-minded focus on their own personal gratification.  They will look you dead in the eye and LIE with the utmost sincerity – and they are good at it because they tend to be of above-average intelligence.  And we, as decent people, operate on the base assumption that the people we meet and deal with are NOT lying liars who lie.  If we are unfortunate enough to get tangled up with these people in friendships or even marriages, we assume that they are not USING US AS PAWNS and genuinely mean it when they feign friendship or even love.” 

(Ann Barnhardt, read more at:   http://www.barnhardt.biz/)

 

—-

7/19/14

5:26 am

(I’ve been reading about these things for twenty years.  It is time to get right with God.)

4- star Air Force general refused to sign that he would shoot American citizens on American soil. Armed guards escorted him off Langley. Listen.

“There’s No Way To Stop This” 4-Star General Warns – “The Giant Is Dead”: ‘V The Guerrilla Economist’ – A Major Confirmation!

Here:   http://beforeitsnews.com/u-s-politics/2014/07/theres-no-way-to-stop-this-4-star-general-warns-the-giant-is-dead-v-the-guerrilla-economist-a-major-confirmation-2472652.html

—-

7/18/14

10:33 am

I wish I had my notes, this was the first prophetic dream I ever had,  maybe fifteen years ago, before I even got the Holy Ghost, I think:
 —
I was at the ACE store, shortly after Tim took over.  I remember a customer asking me a question and I told him I didn’t know the answer because I didn’t work there.  We chatted and I told him my dad owned the store.  He said, “Do you get stuff for free?”  I said, “My dad helps me with the big stuff, but the little stuff I get on my own.”  Then something happened and we all went running out the back door.  We jumped into a big flatbed truck, I was driving and my entire family was in the back.  We pulled away from the building (we ran over David’s wallet) and then the entire store EXPLODED!  The explosion was so bright it kinda sucked all the light into it and I couldn’t see where I was going at all!  I took my hands off the wheel and said, “You’re gonna have to drive, Lord, because I can’t see a thing.”  We drove until the light returned to normal and the truck stopped.  Then I could see that we had stopped right before hitting an enormous rock.
 —
I woke up and went to the bathroom, kinda stunned.  I knew the dream was from God but I had no idea what it meant so I asked him when I got back to bed.  He said,  “ACE is the church,”  and he explained some other things to me that I don’t remember.  I do remember this, I asked, “But, Lord, my dad doesn’t own the ACE anymore.”  He said, “Do you think I own the church?”

4:09 am

The Sociopath’s Destructive Influence
Excerpted from:  “The Sociopath Next Door”  by Martha Stout Ph.D.
 —
“Maybe you cannot be a CEO of a multinational corporation, but you can frighten a few people, or cause them to scurry around like chickens, or steal from them, or-maybe-best of all-create situations that cause them to feel bad about themselves.  And this is power, especially when the people you manipulate are superior to you in some way.  Most invigorating of all is to bring down people who are smarter or more accomplished than you, or perhaps classier, more attractive or popular or morally admirable.  This is not only good fun; it is existential vengeance.  And without a conscience, it is amazingly easy to do.  You quietly lie to the boss or to the boss’s boss, cry some crocodile tears, or sabotage a coworker’s project, or gaslight a patient (or child) (parenthetic object  in original), bait people with promises, or provide a little misinformation that will never be traced back to you.”

 

 

—-

7/17/14

9:30 am
Took a break from blogging, picked another four-leaf clover, delivered it.  (Lord maybe we should use another sign?  People aren’t too impressed anymore.  I’d like to see them try it anyway.  As always, whatever you say.  And please fix Dylan’s tooth.  Amen.)
There is a sore evil which I have seen under the sun, namely, riches kept for the owners thereof to their hurt.

7:56 am

Just got back from Dad’s office.  I posted  three four-leaf clovers and two five-leaf clovers, taped to a piece of pretty blue scrapbook paper.  (I didn’t cut it into any shape…he wasn’t impressed with my hearts I guess.  Never heard from him.)  I wrote the date and time on the paper.  Guess I should always do that.

 

—-

3:54 am

Man misdiagnosed as delusional for 20 years sues

“Montin is seeking more than $22 million in damages for incorrectly labeling him mentally ill, unnecessarily holding him and subjecting him to treatments he didn’t need. He’s also seeking $760,000 in lost wages and $10 million in punitive damages.”

Read more at:   http://thetruthshallsetyoufree.net/2014/07/14/man-misdiagnosed-delusional-20-years-sues/

Let’s see:  Five years times  22 million divided by 20 means …3.5 million is a bargain!!

 

3:23 am

No message, no phone call. No apology in the Newberry News. No words of truth and comfort for my children. I guess maybe Dad isn’t interested in my life after all.  (But, on Sunday he said he loved me.)
   **Highlights of coming attractions**
“Read the amazing story of a sweet young thing who found her judgmental Baptist father in flagrante delicto with the babysitter!  (On the couch. I wonder how old the babysitter was then?)  Learn about the stunning architect who made him swoon!  Read about the months he would not speak to anybody in his family.  Porn, psychosis and brutality!  Fear and neglect!  Coming soon to a church near you.”

 

7/16/14

3:36 pm
I put two more four-leaf clovers affixed to red hearts on my dad’s door.  Josiah stopped by to return a pitchfork. Apparently he’s not working for JD anymore  so I gave JD a heart too. (I left it for him at the moose.  An old man is mowing the grass.)   It said:  “JD, I heard you lost Josiah.  I’m so sorry!  He has a very fine heart.  You need a five-leaf clover.”  (Then I stuck a five-leaf clover on it, of course.)

 

7:57 am

Dream from 7/15/14
10:52 am:
I just woke up! I got up before two and worked until six and thought I was supposed to go back to bed to have a dream. I did. Nothing there. Then I went back to sleep and had a doozy!

I was in Escanaba. I was supposed to play piano at a wedding but I never got there. My parents’ home was on the street, very modern, very beautiful. It seemed to be on a single floor. I never saw much of it because I was ushered into an adjoining restaurant, also beautiful, lots of glass and pale wood. The DELI COUNTER was really also the kitchen. It had easily sliding drawers of pale wood with white enameled bottoms that were FILLED with gorgeous breads, right up near the storefront window. (The windows were ceiling to floor.) I snuck a piece of dark bread with wonderful cream cheese filling. It was soft and fresh although there were no airtight covers on any of the baked goods. The glass counter ran from the front to the back and it was filled with amazing foods of all kinds. Behind the counter were full-height glass coolers, also filled. Colors, light, the place was awesome. One cooler had perfect steaks hanging in rows on hooks. ( I didn’t yet know it was a restaurant and thought it was just part of my parents’ home. It was very impressive.)

Somebody told me that I had to make brunch for some special people and I went through a door into a dining room, further along the street. It was very nice with big glass windows on the street-side. I chose a table and began to set it for the party. I thought about what to make, but I don’t remember what I decided on. I knew nothing about the kitchen, not even how to make coffee or where anything was stored. It was very difficult to prepare and then some of the people came! I wasn’t ready! (I’ve had days like that waiting tables at different places. The absolute worst one was at the old Homestead in St. Ignace on the Fourth of July one year when it got unbelievably busy. People would sit at a dirty table for a time then give up and leave. Other grumpy people would replace them! The boss always fires you after a day you can’t keep up, even when it’s not your fault. The Homestead is now the Gold Mine. It’s on State Street. The Homestead was a nightmare.) I was trying to get beverages for these special people, and more kept coming. I wondered how I’d be able to prepare food while I was running trying to address each one as he arrived. Then a waitress showed up! (She looked like Alicia Silverstone) AH HA! This is a restaurant! A man I had tried to pacify came into the kitchen and gave me two huge beautiful glass bottles, one looked to contain perfume and the other some kind of beverage, I didn’t have time to determine if it was alcohol or some exotic nutrient drink. They were both half full. He hugged me for a long time and I finally said I really had to get back to work. (One of my favorite waitresses never got fired. She would hold her hands out to the boss and say, “COUNT THESE!” She also only rang up a portion of the bills. She pocketed the rest.)

I decided to take orders from the menu, but I didn’t know anything about the menu. Also, the participants at my special table kept wanting different things and I didn’t know what they meant. Some reported taking trinkets and even shoes from a gift-shop-corner and I could only record their choices along with the food orders. I kept writing things down but never had a chance to do any cooking or to take any cash for the merchandise.

My stomach really hurts. I never hurt anymore, ever at all usually. (I had diarrhea right after my dad left on Sunday though. It was like my insides emptied out in a single minute. It didn’t hurt a bit.) My first dream was also in Escanaba. I was at the house of a politician I know although I’ve never been to his house. It was kind of ramshackle, he didn’t even have any coffee. He had ice cream though. His wife pointed out some shutters that she said came from their old house.

 

 

 

—-

7:45 am

Well, that was fun.  About an hour ago I found a four-leaf clover and taped it to a beautiful red paper heart and stuck it to my dad’s office door.  I wrote on the heart:  “Utterly complete vindication.”  (I used quotation marks because God said it to me.)  When I got back, lo-and-behold, I nearly stepped on two five-leaf clovers!  So I cut another heart and wrote:  “This is about God.  This is not about me.  God takes care of me.  (As you know…)” When I got back from sticking that to Dad’s door, I found a bunch of deformed clovers, so beautiful.  I chose four:  three of them had leaves shaped like hourglasses, rather than roundish.  The fourth had a very tiny leaf growing from the top of a normal round one, and a little nubbin of a leaf from the top of another round one so I guess it was actually a five-leaf clover.  I don’t know if deformed ones are good luck but they’re very rare, nonetheless.  I should get back to work now.

 

 

—–

7/13/14

4:17 pm

My dad just left.  He brought iced tea and sat and talked about bullshit for an hour.  As he left he gave me a half hug and said he loved me.  I said, “Yeah, that’s obvious.”  He’s making expresso pies but couldn’t find instant expresso so I gave him mine.  He talked about Italy and India and Toronto.    I told him I haven’t been out of Michigan since 2009, except when I drove my quadriplegic former-boss  to Florida.  I’m glad I was wearing my longest second-hand men’s shirt so he couldn’t see I’d been sunning in my underwear since I don’t have a swimsuit that fits.  He asked if Josh has a drivers’ license yet.  I said no, since I have no influence here anymore.  He is responsible for much trouble and he knows it.  I’m praying for him now.  I’m also taking a shower because I feel pretty grubby.

 

—-

10:35 am

Dad’s at Sunday School.  I picked a four-leaf clover and taped it to the door of his house.  I taped one to his office door on Friday.  He never, ever thanks me.  Mom does now, though.  I got a very nice thank-you-note for baking the strawberry -rhubarb pie for her 4th of July picnic.

I’m so relaxed now I’m even reading fiction.

 

7/9/14

6:54 pm

I’m lending my car to the prophet.  My father is having a rummage sale at the ACE so I stopped to ask about a car he’s been trying to sell.  (I have three friends looking to buy a car.  All three have borrowed mine for extended periods.)   His answer was, “What red car?”  I said, very slowly, “Do-You-Have-Any-Car-For-Sale?”  He said, “No.”  I thanked him and wished him a nice day.
He should tell Mom that it’s not for sale because she thinks it is and she works in his office.  Yesterday she told George she didn’t know how much he wanted for it.

 

10:54 am

I just woke up!  I slept until 10:14!  (I was up from 2-6  but went back to sleep.  I went to bed at seven last night.) George is gone to work a double, company came to see me and even left a note at my table outside, but Connie didn’t make a peep or come out from under my bed.  She usually has a hissy if a human budges anywhere near us. I’m loving sleep.
I dreamed about my grandma, my dad’s mom.  She had been in prison for a long time and I was going to stay with her, I was an adult.  Grandpa and I went to pick her up from work.  (I was surprised she already had a job.  It was at a convenience store.)  We went on a horse and all three of us rode it to their house, which was in Laurel Lea (MI), very high up, many levels, narrow, winding, like a tree house.  To get there we rode through some amazingly beautiful scenery, at one point we were riding down a shallow river near where Keizer’s house is.  I watched another family go by, the opposite direction, also upon a single horse.  They were all wearing white floaty garments and they were all leaning forward against one another, with the horse taking his head.  I remember a beautiful little girl looking at me as she leaned against her father.  She had flowing golden hair and such a peaceful smile!
When we got to their house, the horse took us right up the stairs to the top.  I kept thinking that I had to cook supper for Grandpa. (And wondering if I’d ever have the nerve to ride that horse back down those steep steps!) There was a bag of puny shrimp in the kitchen downstairs.  They were frozen and I had left them too close to a burner to thaw, and the plastic kinda melted around the edges.  I hoped they were salvageable and wondered what I could make from the fish-food-sized crustaceans.  Other houses were in the treetops and people  could see in our windows but they were too busy to care, having barbecues and company moving about.  Grandma didn’t care if I cooked supper.  We went high above the kitchen to a place that had been abandoned for many years. Her mother was there too.  Her mother looked so young!  I kept thinking, “This woman must be 180 years old but look at her skin!”  My grandma looked young too but not so young as her mom.  (Who I never met in this world.)
I was worrying about supper but Grandma told me to go into a room to get her “dishes.”  (My grandma always used tiny, pretty dishes, I own some of hers now.  She had egg cups and sherbet glasses and bowls of etched depression glass.  My aunt does things much like my grandma did.)   I found a stack of tiny dishes, some were beautiful and some were that cloudy, crisp  disposable plastic with the rolled rim.  One of the crappy ones had some liquid in it and for some unknown reason I put it to my lips, wondering how there could still be liquid in a place that had been neglected for so long, and frozen over for so many winters.  I tasted Hawaiian Punch and chuckled.  I thought, “Grandpa.”
When I took the dishes to Grandma, she had prepared homemade ice cream and somehow turned it into a uniform squiggle of soft-serve.  She had sliced strawberries and all kinds of tidbits prepared.  I sat on the other side of the room and watched my beautiful grandma and her beautiful mother make a very special treat.  Then I woke up.

 

7/6/14

12:21 pm

I put some flowers under the wiper of Dad’s van.  He’s at Sunday School.
I’ve been thinking about the difference between “approval” and “respect.”  I spent most of my life trying to gain my father’s approval.  This proved impossible, due to his prejudice against women.  (When I gave birth to a man-child  I tried even harder.  Isaac started writing business plans when he was seven.)   Observing  those my father  does approve, I’m pleased I was born without testicles.   Now that I understand some things, I’m reveling in his respect.  I enjoy respecting myself even more.
Approval is not earned.  Approval is granted at the whim and according to the values of the approver.  Do I want to appear as a carrier of my father’s values?  NO WAY!  These criteria are different for different candidates. He’ll laugh his butt off at dirty jokes on TV, yet I’ve been reprimanded for saying “barf.”  (It’s no easier for those who attain his approval. Maintaining it  is a treadmill of Robert-pleasing.)   Approval can be withdrawn at any time. Necessary behaviors change as the approver’s  values improve or deteriorate.  Approval is a slippery state of being for both parties, with only one side calling the shots.  It is subservience.  It is bondage.  It’s my dad’s best behavior modification tool.
I pity those who grovel for approval, but it’s even MORE pitiful when they determine THEIR OWN approval of others,  based on the fluctuating concepts of one who approves THEM!  This is learned helplessness to a degree that shrinks the gray-matter!  Many people choose to disapprove others just because my dad does.  Tsk.  My brother accused me months ago, of “getting all intellectual.”  (As though rational thought were a weapon I deploy at will.  If only.)   I can easily understand my brother’s problem with distinct human discourse, but I hear my father’s mewling ego in the words.  I have not changed.  They never saw me before.  Now, they respect me.
Respect is earned by behaving in a manner consistent with one’s statements. Self-respect comes from behaving in accordance with one’s own values.   Respect requires  integrity.  It’s possible to respect many people we do not approve.  I don’t believe it’s possible to respect a person who does not respect himself. When I thought I respected  my dad I was actually only afraid.   I continually  squelched  myself in hopes of becoming Dad’s flavor-of-the-month.  I used to do whatever was asked.  I didn’t respect myself.  Things have changed.  For five years I’ve been standing alone against liars and I’ve been utterly consistent in my claims.  I learn new things every day and I try to perform repetitive tasks better each time.  (Except folding laundry.  I’ve kinda slacked off because my values have changed.)   I know I obey God.  I respect myself.   As long as I tell the truth and have guts, my dad respects me too.  I wish he could know my satisfaction.
Similarly confused are the concepts of “power” and “authority.”  Power is the ability to bend other people to our will.  This state can be demanded, stolen or imagined.  It can be exercised through fear or selfishness.  Authority is the RIGHT  to influence others.  There is no such thing as illegitimate authority.  Authority comes from a higher source.  Legitimacy is inherent in the definition.  Power can be a product of authority, but it often outlives its legitimacy.  That’s where we get tyrants.
The shortest distance  between two points is very often not a straight line.

 

 

 

——

7/4/14      Independence Day!  Hoorah!

9:24 pm

Open Letter to Adam de Angeli:
Hi Slick,
How’ve you been?  Are you a big shot now?  Hey, I think my dad might want to buy those journals I sent you. Would you be willing to sell them?  Remember when he called the cops on me and I challenged him?  Well, he tried to murder me, but I guess you probably figured that out.  (You knew what kind of man he was before I did.)   I know those books are  the best evidence ever about electronic torture,  but the poor guy is so scared  he runs when he sees me.  Maybe you could copy the important stuff and redact everything about his felonies?  I’m sure the Karl Rove junior explorer kit comes with a black marker.
 –
God says we’ll get 3.5 million but you know how I am with numbers.  I’d be happy with a quarter;  you can keep the rest.  It would be good to see you again.  I’ve missed you during these past  five years.  I can’t give Dad your number because I don’t have it,  but I suspect he knows it anyway.  When he calls, be kind to him.  He’s aged badly.
Love, Linda
PS-  You could send me some books back!  I returned all of yours.

 

 

 

5:32 am

I went to bed at 7:34 and slept eight hours straight through, the sweet sleep of the innocent.  (I think I got up to pee one time.)  I drank SO MUCH CAFFEINE yesterday!  (Since I  stopped drinking beer ’round the clock  I’m having a hard time finding something to sip as  I ponder and pray.)  I understand most people would find it difficult to live without alcohol, and suffer ailments, after a “bender” of such length.  I’m just bored.  “These signs shall follow those who believe, in my name they shall cast out devils, they shall speak with new tongues, they shall take up serpents and if they drink any deadly thing it shall not harm them”–Mark 16:17-18(a)
—-
For years I couldn’t sleep for more than an hour at a time.  (That was when I stopped sleeping with George and took to the couch.)  I’d wake up with this horrible burning-tingling, then sweat would POUR from the top of my head and the center of my chest. Gallons of sweat.  Just those two places.  Panicky.  There’s a guy in Ann Arbor who experiments on people with psychotropic weapons.  His specialty is sleep deprivation…from far away. His name is Dr. Robert C. Gunn.  He makes people commit suicide.  Isn’t that terrible?
No phone message from my dad this morning.  I failed to mention one important thing about the incriminating photos:   I’m not the only person who knows about them.  As a matter of fact, I  wrote about them along with my disgust at my father’s behavior.   Not only did I record their existence, but I swore to it  and sent the document away for safekeeping. Even without the photos themselves, a five year-old  affidavit  is pretty substantial evidence. Dad probably doesn’t realize that my 30+  theme-book-volume  affidavit contains every single thing about my dad that I could remember from my whole life.  (God said to record my whole life, so I did.)

 

 

—–

7/3/14

5:18 pm

I took a break from the computer to make pie pastry.    I still haven’t gotten a call from my dad!  Maybe he really DID forget the photos to which I refer. They are prima facie evidence of felonies unrelated to the matter at hand.  I’m sending strawberry-rhubarb pie with the boys tomorrow, to the family  picnic.  Maybe that will help him get his memory back.  Garrison Keillor says “Strawberry-rhubarb pie cures alzheimers.”    “And it also cures alzheimers.”

 

———

4:11 pm

I just went to JD’s house to give him his four-leaf clover.  (He asked for one in the grocery store this morning.  I made him lemon muffins first and left them at the moose earlier.)   He asked me how I do it, can I find other things?  Can I do it with morels?  “No, I’m just blessed.”  He again, how do I do it.  I said I just walk around and God says to look down.  I told him about the thirty clovers I gave Dad for last Father’s Day.  My impression was that he hadn’t ever heard of 5, 6 and 7-leaf clovers.  I told him I’d been in a battle with Dad for five years and that last July 17 I filed suit against him in the court of Jesus Christ.

 

——

3:26 pm

My mother texted me this morning  to ask if her nieces could stay here tonight, maybe. She wasn’t sure.   I said absolutely.  Later I asked when she would know for sure and she said she couldn’t tell me.  She couldn’t even tell me WHEN she would be able to tell me.  She couldn’t tell me because she couldn’t depend on information from David.  I have spent numerous hours waiting for David’s family.  I have gone to hotels expecting that David had made reservations, and later spoken to desk-clerks who hadn’t heard a thing about it.
——–
So I texted Mom:  “I do want renewed relationships, but on very different terms.  David’s ways will not be a crisis for me.  If he can’t count his own family, that’s not really my problem.  Take care of your own guests.”

 

 

———

7/3/14

9:27 am

Still haven’t heard from my dad.  He musta forgot about the photos.

—-

5:50 am

 

I know my redeemer lives.  Period.

 

—-

7/2/14

9:40 pm

I was in bed but I had to get up and write about what happened to me.  I was just drifting off and I was presented with the term “utterly complete vindication” and asked what it meant to me.   I was presented with situations from the past five years, and faces of people who had harmed me.  I thought about my dad and my niece and my mom and political foes and neighbors and “Christians.”   It was funny, but I could rarely remember what they had done.  I could think  the word  “murder”  but not feel any emotional  reaction.  My only response was to pray for people and  desire  restored relationships.   My eyes were closed but I suddenly saw my bedroom door fly  open, unnaturally fast and a black thing charged out at the same time the door slammed back shut.  It was like a single motion.  I wonder if I finally astonished Satan?  (He’s into drama too, but there is only one drama KING.)

7:59 pm

My phone just rang and I was so excited.  It was a sweet young thing from the Republican party.  I said, “You don’t want to talk to me.  Trust me.  Big time.”

7:05 pm

Still no call from Dad.  I wish he’d talk to me because I need some clothes. People are beginning to smile at me and invite me to go places.  (I haven’t had new clothes for ten years except for campaign stuff and Josh won’t give me any more of his sweatpants.)   I believe news of my sanity is spreading around the neighborhood.  God said I would have  “utterly complete vindication.”

9:29 am

When I get my money I think I might  like to buy Connie’s Helmer Market.  I’d give jobs to tribe-members and we could doll-up the deli.  I’ll have to run the idea by our fearless leader.  He’s stumped over how we can earn money. Maybe this is it.
Still no call from my dad. He’s at his office; maybe he’ll call later.  I think my dad’s trial will be a humdinger. I suppose in the past, some  defendant has been tried for attempting to murder the same person more than once.  I don’t figure that happens too often in the VERY SAME TRIAL.  This will be one for the record books! Law students will study it and the name “Goldthorpe” will go down in history!  Except, I sued him in the court of Jesus Christ.  I wonder if he confessed to the real judge, maybe it  would set him right with human government, too?  “All things are possible, to him that believeth.”  Maybe not though, because I had a vision (several, really) of my dad in an orange jumpsuit with his hands secured in a belly-band.  His head was thrown back like he was howling at the moon.  (George had a dream during Kevin’s trial.  He was at work on the exercise yard at prison and saw an inmate approach him with a huge smile.  It was Kevin.  We NEVER thought that one would come true.)

 

—–

3:15 am

I’ve known lots of people whose lapses of judgment have put them at odds with human courts.  Often they come to me with questions, when they face situations like my father’s.  My usual spiel is:  1)  your lawyer will not talk to you no matter how many times you call, until your hearing date, 2)  your lawyer works for the court, not you, and WILL NOT do a trial, 3)  don’t take their first offer, 4)  if they promise you anything, get it  ON THE RECORD.  My father’s case is different for a number of reasons.  Defense attorneys are motivated by deep pockets. And they are ALWAYS willing to do a high-profile trial  that will get them some publicity.  I’m thinking in federal court these facts must be multiplied many times over, especially since the US Attorneys  are very ambitious opponents.  (Did you know federal judges are appointed for life?  They can pretty much run things however they want.)
I remember one time in 2011, after months of begging my father’s assistance and receiving no response,  I saw him at his office.  I said, “You NEED  my family to be f*cked up to cover your ass.”  He came unglued.  I wonder if he remembers what he said?  (Oh darn!  I didn’t record that anywhere and now the goons know about it!)

 

 

2:11 am

Queen, Don’t Try Suicide

—-

7/1/14

6:26 pm

Dear Dad and Mom,
The people I’ve been cooperating with for over a year do not know everything I know.  I didn’t even write some stuff down, can you believe that?   I remember things in detail just the same.  Except numbers.  After I see that notice in the Newberry News, maybe you guys can help me with some homework.

 

—–

9:13 am

 

Dear Dad,

Someone is at the cottage and I notice that people now are coming  through Aarfstrom’s.    If we don’t see cars arriving, and of course we can’t see a car once it’s there,  it is much more likely that somebody will let Connie outside unattended.  Maybe I’m wrong but the only solution I can think of is COMMUNICATION.  906-291-1376   Thank you.

Maybe you could advise your guests to toot the horn?

David’s dog bit my friend right in the face!

 

—–

8:31 am

I miss seeing Steve all day long now that my dad confessed and I don’t have to go up to the store forty times a day to buy a beer.  I drank beer ’round the clock for about a year.  This morning I went to get a Frappuccino and I haven’t enjoyed a beverage this much in years!  (I didn’t know how much they cost but Steve said I could owe him a dollar until George gets up.)  My dad and uncle are very judgmental about drinking, but not without reason.  They had a couple uncles drink themselves to death.  My dad spread the tale years back, that all Goldthorpes who drink go crazy.  I heard about that whopper  for sure.  Poor guy.  I don’t even like beer.  (I do really like Tequila though.)

 

—–

1:57 am

 

This is the lullabye I used to sing to my babies.  (Isaac would say, “Mama no sing.  Daddy sing.”)  That’s one way I knew I was being monitored.    If I were crazy, the voices wouldn’t be saying…    “and STOP WITH THE SINGING ALREADY!”

 

“I heard about a condo, he prepared for me in Toronto,

and I heard about the trust account, and parking that is free…etc.”

 

—-

6/30/14

4:45 pm

Bump to the top, Letter to my parents from 8/27/11:

“Parents, there is also this:   I require some recognition for my achievements.  In 5 years I took my unschooled son from “Isaac’s Lunchwagon” to running (for the most part, towards the end…) three congressional campaigns!  This district is the entire UP and all the way down to Bay City.  I defy you to stump either of us with a question about any county’s  idiosyncrasies, socio-economic, political, geographical, restaurants-to-go-to, anything at all.  We know everybody. I didn’t know a single active Republican until the day I first shook Ron Paul’s hand.  I can call Bill Schuette my favorite waitress and Isaac will laugh.  Do you know Schuette  went to school in Aberdeen?  I know lots about him.  We didn’t know anybody!
—-
This is amazing, what we did.  I demand that be acknowledged, even though you disapproved so vehemently.    I haven’t told a person for many months that I ran for Congress, I’ve been ashamed.  (Except a bill collecting attorney.  I got a bit heated and told him why we were broke and how I see the country going.  He gave me my terms and commented that he wished there were people like me in McComb  county.)  You made my efforts an embarrassment, rather than a source of satisfaction.  Mom, you say you value education, Dad, hard work.  I GIVE YOU BOTH!  If you refuse to acknowledge the magnitude of the incredibleness of our accomplishments, then I give up.  I’ve both educated and worked my ass off for years.  You didn’t notice it.  BEHOLD!  My CHILDREN!
__
Ask Joshua  any question about history, anywhere in the world.  He can answer it.  He is amazed how school-kids (cousins) can’t find Russia on a map.  He’s got his own thing, and he’s going there.  I wish you knew him. Knowing Josh is to be changed.  He is absolutely blunt; he makes me sound reticent.  He refuses to drink pop, takes cold showers and won’t look at a picture of a naked girl.  He’s spartan.  He’s so tender.  It broke his heart when on the pontoon a couple years ago Dad called him fat.  Lots of hearts broken, around here.”

 

—–

3:07 pm

“The world is full of zanies, and fools,
Who don’t believe in sensible rules,
And don’t believe what sensible people say…
Because these daft and dewy-eyed dopes,
Keep building up impossible hopes,
Impossible things are happening every day.”     (Cinderella, Rodgers & Hammerstein)

 

1:43 pm

Isaac is mowing, so is the kid who works for Dad.  I showed the kid my latest 5-leaf clover and let him keep it.  He was pretty impressed.  He asked where I found it and I told him I’m just blessed, I find them everywhere.  I  said that since  he mows so much grass he should have a souvenir.  He was really pleased and thanked me.  I told him “thank you” for all the stuff he does.  I’m sure my dad tried to call before sending him down.  My phone is on the charger in the house.

 

 

—–

1:31 pm

I found two more 4-leaf clovers but my dad wasn’t at his office so I gave them to Steve and said, “Happy Monday.”  When I got back, I found a 5-leaf clover…

 

—-

12:37 pm

 

Holy Spirit, that drama king, he’s gives me  one exercise after the other.  I just repented for becoming offended and now I’m dealing with envy.  George’s mom bought his new car and he only has to pay her back half of its price.  It’s  Nissan Murano and has all my favorite features.  George says the color is ginger ale.

—-

10:59 am

God told me I sinned last night by becoming offended.  I took my life personally and that’s wrong.  My life is not my own and I had no right to take offense.  (With my family gone for 10 days I got out of practice at not taking offense.)  I apologized to George and when the boys get up, I’ll apologize to them too.  (Isaac was up earlier and ran a mile and meditated for a long time.  I’m eating a sandwich George’s mother made for them to eat as they drove home.  Her bread is astonishing!  She grinds the grains herself. I had to scrape off the processed cheese, though.  I dislike  fakes.

 

—-

10:28 am

I’m pruning a very special lilac tree today.  My dad planted it here years ago and it has very dark purple blossoms.  I read that if you clip it after the flowers are gone, there will be more blossoms and they’ll be closer to the ground.  I hope I’m not taking off too much but when George and I prune the rosebush on his grandma’s grave it seems the more we cut it back, the better the results. I slept in, until about 6.  Then I mowed the grass over the drainfield.  I’m taking a break from pruning.  I got pretty good handling clippers from that time growing marijuana kept us from starving.  Clipping is easier now, since I’m not vomiting incessantly and being knocked to the floor regularly.  I’m gonna have a farmer tan for sure but it doesn’t matter since I never go anywhere anyway.  Except to see the prophet.  He has a LOT of lilac wood at his place that he scavenged from historical places.  He uses it for art projects.

9:34 am

I found another four-leaf clover so I went to give it to my dad.  He was pulling into his parking lot driving his London Taxi so I approached him head-on holding the clover out in front of me.  He waved me off and changed direction OUT of his parking lot and across the street to the diesel pumps at the Moose.  I crossed the street and saw Tim and showed him the clover.  (I gave him one before.)  THEN my dad pulled AWAY from the pumps and I caught up to him and handed him the clover through the open passenger window.  (He said he forgot what side the gas cap was on.)  Finally I convinced him to take the clover and told him that Tom had turned off the water in the cabin that had been on full-blast.  I also told my mother that I didn’t believe the cleaning lady had come on Friday.  I told Mom about the water too.  It’s kind of funny that it was running since Dad was just down there a couple nights ago when he confessed.  God reminded me this morning that He is never late.

 

—-

6:29 am

Dead Dad:  One sentence from you could fix four lives.  Are you man enough?

 

—-

6/30/14

12:45 am

To my beloved Isaac:         Sweetie, I love you very much. I love Jesus more. Stand down.

12:33 am

Dad.  Dear Dad.  Even if my boys prefer your bullshit to my logic, I will FOLLOW JESUS.  You are a fraud and you’ve caused much damage.  I disengage myself from your agenda of psychopathic money-mongering.  I’d rather spend time with Jesus than even enjoy the love of my family.  You LOST SO BAD!

 

6/29/14

11:51 pm

Everything happens for demonstration.  My boys came home tonight, I had prepared  George’s favorite, meatloaf, mashed squash and pasta salad with lots of garlic and chickpeas and tomatoes.  They seemed pleased. (Except Isaac said I rub it in his face.  What?  Considering the preferences of a loved one?)   George bought a new car in Minnesota and when I asked if I were permitted to drive it, he said maybe around the park, “I’m feeling kinda possessive.”  (He meant it as a joke, but I didn’t know that.)   As we tried to understand one another, Isaac stood between us and disparaged my character and motives.  Then he threw a pitcher of iced tea on the floor splattering the entire kitchen.  (George and I went outside and communicated.  George also told me how threatening I am.  I pointed to the numerous holes in the drywall where he had expressed himself.  Apparently they were all my fault.)   I tried to go to bed but overheard “she”  “she”   “she.”   I spoke rationally to Josh but had to lie flat on the floor via Ghandi to be heard. I have no value here.  I am considered the problem in every conflict.  I am considered evil.  God bless my father for what he has done in my family.  They feel sorry for George because I am more verbal.  I am not violent.  “God have mercy on my father’s soul for what he did to a God-fearing family.  Amen.”

 

 

 

8:33 pm

Sigh.  Those Goldthorpe girls didn’t do too bad for themselves.  (Despite efforts to derail their attempts. ) (A couple of my  girl-cousins’ children.  Aren’t they gorgeous?  Smart, too.)

 

 

Mighty early

 

I got up at two, worked a few hours and became sleepy.  I dreamed I was in another huge hotel, although from the curb it looked like a cross between the Longbranch in Newberry and a residential home.  It had a long sweeping wooden porch like one of the houses at Bayview, MI.  I came in from the back so I never saw the porch until I left.  There was lots of food around, the place was a native-operation, most people were dark-skinned and friendly.  It was housing a lot of sick children, like a makeshift hospital and I was trying to help them.  I opened door after door.  Sometimes I walked in on hookers with guys in bed. (Sometimes those people left their doors open so I didn’t go in.)  A tall Indian started following me around and telling me jokes.  He was really funny but I overheard others talking about his speech impediment.  I overheard him tell one guy, “I’m gonna marry that girl”  but I didn’t even know him.  He guided me to a big staircase leading to the doorway.  I overheard him ask a guy, “You people still have that tunnel under here?  There aren’t any police down there, right?”  As I went down the stairs all the little children were poking their heads through  the rails so I stopped on each step to talk to each one.  When I reached the bottom, a grandmotherly native came out of the dining room and handed me a wonderful sandwich in a plastic bag.  The bag was very long and although the pieces of sandwich were cut in a shape that looked like quarters of a slice of normal bread, I could tell this bread was unusual because there were many quarters. The sandwich was stuffed with all kinds of veggies.  I remember shredded red cabbage and sprouts sticking out.  I started munching a piece and shared some with my escorts, familiar people but I don’t know them in real life.  We went out onto the porch and there was nobody lounging there although it was a perfect day and a perfect lounging-porch.  I got into a car with my acquaintances, we sat in the back.  The driver was an old friend I haven’t seen for years and we took off from the east side of my Grandma’s old house in Newberry, toward Truman Avenue.  I looked into the rearview mirror and I could see my friend looking at me really snotty.  I also saw the stop sign so I reminded her to stop.
(Deepwoods  OFF makes my fingers stick to the keyboard.)

6:17 pm

Bump to the top from 4/18/14:

Eric really liked the curry! He said it was great, and it even had vegetables. I’m so ready for the change. It must be getting clear to people that we are totally screwed. Our environment opposes us. Our fellows seek their own comfort at our expense and at the expense of guileless children. Our women hate men and our men hate women and we all hate ourselves. We don’t trust one another because heck, if you can’t even trust yourself there isn’t much to lean on. We ingest poisons recommended by salespeople who wear stethoscopes and vacation on warm islands. We eat simulated food made of chemicals that alter our DNA. We evaluate our bodies for symptoms that are advertised on television. We don’t always do what we’re told, but we believe what we’re told and that’s sufficient for the romper-room-attendants to predict our behavior. We are predictable and believe ourselves cunning. Non-carbon entities view us as alternately adorable and stupid as shit. We’re infants in a never-ending cosmos of responsibility and recompense. Nobody gets out of here alive. Nobody gets out of here at all. You can burn up the carbon compounds but the essential elements remain. (Gore)

 

 

—-

5:14 am

Bump to the top, from   1/3/14   8:04:

                          Did you ever burn a bridge?   Ever put the torch to your own way out?  Out of principle or spite we frequently  lay waste to our only means.  Followers  of Jesus Christ do that every day, but we do it through obedience.  It’s not much fun to destroy the course of regress, but it’s always  worth it if you do it for the right reason.  Burning bridges for the wrong reason can  still bring much good.  My government, through principle or spite, has burned more bridges than they probably recognize.  By indiscriminately spying and electronically messing with people’s thought processes, it has dug its own grave.  The hole is big enough to contain its corporate dominatrix.  The hole is so deep that civilization itself could be buried there.
 —
                         Human government is dead.  Long live the King.  We’ve solved the question of whether one man my be permitted to dictate another man’s life.  The answer is no.  There will be a short delay before all tyrants recognize this, but it won’t be long.  Tyrants in all walks of life will be met by their worst nightmare:  bigger tyrants.  This won’t be pleasant to watch but the irony will feed us for decades.  We’ll suffer deprivations, but not too many and we’ll be very happy  so it won’t matter anyway.  We’ll laugh around our Coleman lanterns and remember the would-be battle.  They actually shot themselves in the foot.
Expending savvy and hubris sufficient to read and influence the thought life of the plebs, the government and those who fuck it have revealed a lot more than they intended.  There’s no going back.  I’m loving being me.
 —
                         What they do with the electronic mind-zappers is a form of behavior modification.  They know how to create  mental illness and they know how to uncreate it.  They know how to make a target become spontaneously sad. Certainly they could make a sad person spontaneously happy.  But then the person would not buy Prozac.  We have burned some corporate relationships along with the bridge.  It’s fun to consider how many people will tell the truth.  It’s not fun to consider that they will lose their livelihoods.  What in the world will we do when government implodes?

——–

 

 

—-

3:44 am

 

To the Nurse Ratcheds of the GOLDTHORPE FAMILY:

(Look it up. Do you EVER read ANYTHING?)

 

—-

6/28/14

7:37 pm

 

I’ve been waiting my whole life for today.  My cousin is staying with me and he asked  if I get discouraged.  Not hardly.  I spent years  studying and praying and washing dishes and milking goats and giving stupid speeches.  I wanted to preach since I was tiny.  God chose for me to be a homemaker, and then to participate in political activities I did not trust  or value.  He arranged a supernatural sting-operation on my Dad.  I want to talk about Jesus and he’s giving me my chance.  When I went to church I often wished I could stand up and refute the bullshit I was hearing but it was not my time.
 —
There are many of us who have been hidden.  When we begin to speak the world will change quicker.  Truth is a person and we’ve spent many years listening to him.  We’ve not given in to the enticements of pablum-religion.  I’m so very glad my dad did what he did, I am  very grateful.  I’m glad I was tortured, for now I can empathize with the tortured. I love my dad and that gives me love for torturers.  I’m grateful for every single thing God did to give me the podium I shall soon occupy.  I wanted to change the world.  He’s giving me my chance.
I think I understand why being around people makes me agitated.  I always must defend that which requires no defense.  People speak words they deem just advice.  Not so.  When you see the world from where I am, you will not give instruction from down below.

 

—-

2:19 pm

To newcomers, I challenged my dad in  2009.  I prayed a lot, often in my car, frequently all night and far from home.  My ex-husband knew where I was and it was none of my father’s business.  My father abducted my children and reported my behavior to the State Police (Derusha) and my (former) doctor (Hannert).  Then he influenced my then-husband to report on me so I could be arrested.  (Instead George called me and told me to go very far away.  I went to Minnesota.)  When confronted, my father refused to apologize or to make it right.  I challenged him thus: “I know Jesus is real.  I know your religion is fake.  You are now my enemy.  It will be your religion, or my faith.”  (Then he tried to kill me, tried to starve me out, destroyed my reputation, took my house, tried to drive me crazy, tried to murder me, yada, yada, yada.)  I was right.

 

 

—-

8:03 am

 

I have been writing about General Keith Alexander ever since Snowden stole his crown. I love it when God confirms things for me.  (That’s how I learned  to hear his voice.  It’s rarely audible.)  This morning  I was given the impression that I should check for news stories about  Alexander.  ( I’ve predicted he will die unexpectedly, at 4 or 5.  Or 5 or 6, I don’t remember numbers well yet.)  Sure enough,  Big Story just broke yesterday.  (Frequently I  get impressions at precisely the right time.  After this happens a few dozen times you trust God more and then you move up a level.  His lessons never stop and he [apparently] doesn’t stop testing us.)
Anyway, since leaving his former job  as Director of my National Security Agency, “Emperor (that’s what they call him, also his office was DESIGNED LIKE THE STARSHIP ENTERPRISE, I kid you not…)  Keith”  has found it difficult
  General Alexander accused of selling secrets -    (Love this photo:  Who Me?)
to jumpstart his new cybersecurity firm.  He can’t land a job and has cut his asking price nearly in half! Then Congressman Grayson, bless his heart,  further minimized the Emperor’s employment prospects by sending a letter to ALL OF the Emperor’s  POTENTIAL CLIENTS pointing out what should be very obvious:
“I question how Mr. Alexander can provide any of the services he is offering unless he discloses or misuses classified information, including extremely sensitive sources and methods.  Without the classified information he acquired in his former position, he literally would have nothing to offer to you.”
 
 

I’m thinking that’s a job reference from Hell.  Ouch.  “Great God of Wonders, all thy ways, are matchless, God-like and divine…”
Also, it’s been posited  that  maybe the reason all these intelligence guys are so hell-bent on stopping Snowden is because he’s giving away their product for free!!  
 
 
 
Oh, and Grayson also kindly reminded us:   Disclosing or misusing classified information for profit is, as Mr. Alexander well knows, a felony.
The NSA abolished lying!  I’ve said it all along, everybody on Planet Earth has two choices:  1) lie, or 2) admit we lied before. The emperor is Dead!  Long live the KING!
“Jesus is coming soon, morning or night or noon, many will meet their doom, trumpets will sound.
(Trumpets will surely sound.)
All of the dead shall rise, saints will meet in the skies, going where no one dies, Heavenward bound!” –John W. Peterson  (I think.)
(God also reminded me that my vindication will be utterly complete.  I belong to Jesus.)

 

 

 

 

 

(Here’s a little rule of thumb I use a lot:  If you don’t say excuse me when you sneeze you don’t really believe you’re talking to God.  I “talk to myself” all day long.)

 

——–

6:31 am

It’s a good thing I went to see the Prophet the other day.  If he hadn’t dealt with my spirit releasing my father, it would hurt really badly when I found out the details of his former plans for me.  As it is my sons will have a hard time with it so I walked and prayed around the property today and asked God to seal it with the Blood of Jesus and to assign more angels to us.  The boys come home tomorrow, their cousin’s wedding is today.  I’m praying that God will have mercy on them, and George when the news arrives.  I’m praying for my mom and dad too.

5:47 am

Most Christian people have no idea about prayer  “without ceasing,”  and it always surprises me.  They don’t even know about praying in tongues or the experience of being in God’s manifested presence.  They say they believe in angels and demons but they never deal with their own, I see them on people sometimes.  They SAY they pray, but nobody “waits on the Lord.”  (I guess there’s no reason to wait if you don’t even expect him to talk to you.) They don’t believe in prophecy, although the Bible says we’re ALL to prophesy.  They talk about kindness, and then gossip and ridicule.  They don’t even ask for healing, they pray for doctors to heal.  Medical people are their priest-class.  Most have never even seen a miracle.   When I show people miracles, the Christians don’t care at all.  They like this world just as it is and that’s why the “love of the Father” is not in them.  I guess I can understand why they invite people to church instead of introducing them to the Son of God.  You can’t sell a product you don’t possess.  They also do not hear the trumpets sounding yet.  I’m hoping they’ll wake up before it’s too late.

 

—–

6/27/14

4:57 pm

The deck he replaced is the one I fell through two times although I’m the lightest person in the house.

4:50 pm

These are the things Dad did for me 1) after he read my first book, and 2) before he stopped talking to me for years and told everybody I was crazy  and refused to help me get marijuana out of the house or lock the doors  (quoted from the appendix to “Madness and Politics…but I repeat myself”):  “My dad fixed up my house and driveway and mowed the grass, had the septic tank pumped and sprayed the house for spiders.  He replaced my deck (not MY deck, but another one) and put a new roof on the carport.  He took down a tree.  He had his whole crew here for days but he washed the windows himself.”

 

3:24 pm

Habitual liars change the meanings of words.  I don’t know if they’re aware of the tendency, but it’s pretty obvious.  They also look you in the eye very consciously.  When you speak truth they never blink.  Habitual liars never blink.  My mom and dad never blink when they look at me.  (That’s pretty easy since I never stay very long.)  Words however, mean stuff.  Only their implementation changes.  Like the other night when I (again) mentioned to my dad how he had taken my house from me.  He said, “I didn’t take it.  I preserved it.”  Silly. Preservation for whom?  I had it.  Where was I going?  (I know his intent,  but he hasn’t yet confessed to attempted murder.)  (Sigh.)

—-

3:11 pm

I stopped to see my mother to check on dates that people would be crossing my sons’ lawn to access her cabin. I congratulated her that she will be allowing her sister and nieces to stay at her own home this time and asked her to think of a place for Kathy.   My aunt Sally died.  I’m grateful that she told me.

2:16 pm

I began to think about leadership as I was “earthing” today.  (Lying on the ground…Isaac says it’s good because of negative ions.)  Kevin works for an extremely poor leader.  Threats and fear, vulgarity every day.  (I worked for him too.  No man has spoken to me that way since my dad dropped me off for a summer in St. Ignace at seventeen years old.)  Kevin, however was a very fine leader (before Clayton Graham decided he belonged in prison) so I was considering the difference.  What are attributes of good leadership?  To maximize productivity requires maximization of the “producers.”  Encouraging an employee to be the very best he can be makes sense.
I’ve had very few nasty bosses, but fewer good ones.  Until I ran for office I had never followed a good leader. Then I was  blessed to meet several people who encouraged me to be a better version of myself. They did this by minimizing my fear.  (One was so fine I still grow braver every day, just remembering him, and I haven’t seen him for five years. I believe he would be proud of me now.)  I fell into line quite naturally.
My father is an abysmally poor leader.  His methods are behavior-modification, without the benefit of identifiable guidelines.  He does not share motives, nor document success.  He does not encourage, he CONTROLS.  (He’s like Kevin’s boss with a tighter reign on his vocabulary.)  His methods extend to family, whose obeisance to him doesn’t end when they punch out.  My father chose for me to be ineffective all my life.  He went to extraordinary lengths to disable me in recent years.  Gangstalking and electronic harassment cause one to fear EVERYTHING.  But the worst effect was causing my dear ones to fear me.  He took away all love!   I could neither lead nor follow.  This is a generational curse.
Our children are immortal spirits residing in human bodies for only a short time.  They are not possessions.  We are stewards of their life-force and creativity.  We will answer to God for every person with whom we have to do. For leaders, this is a much more onerous burden.  For parents, the consequences threaten a millstone about the neck.  “Perfect love casts out all fear.”

6/26/14

4:16 pm

My dad and I have a lot of hours of planning and number-crunching coming up.   (I’m looking forward to spending time with him after all these lonely years.)  I am grateful for his 1) confession, 2) down payment, and 3) cup of coffee.  However, there is a requirement that is far more immediate.  My reestablishment as a trust-worthy human suffers an ongoing impediment.  I will be very grateful when he takes care of this good-faith necessity.  I am not nor have I ever been 1) a murderer, 2) crazy, or 3) willing to accept the reputation my father forced upon me when he was unable to 1) kill me, 2) drive me crazy, or 3) make me give up.   When I see that notice in the Newberry News I will be much relieved.  (So will he.)

 

(I’d even be willing to help him spell the words.  I used to always do that.)

 

5:59 am

A lying lifestyle is not something a person can abandon at will.  Last night as Kevin was telling my dad how much I love him,  I approached them from  Kevin’s rear.  Dad prompted him, numerous times, “She’s behind you.  She’s behind you.”  That wouldn’t change what Kevin had to say, but my dad is accustomed to altering his demeanor and  words for different situations.  I pity what he’ll have to go through now.  I still sense minor subterfuge in my thought life and I’ve been working on this for years.  “As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he.”
—-
I brought cherries to my dad’s house and left them in his car this morning.  I probably shouldn’t have driven Isaac’s car because it’s a diesel, the noise was unkind that early.  I don’t think of things until afterwards, sometimes.  Reconsidering my relationship with Trish had me  hyper-ventilating pretty bad.  I forgot the part she played in Kevin’s lost years, and other interesting facts.  I wrote a lot of important things down, with vast implications.  Under the circumstances, I think three and a half million dollars is pretty fair.  We did something important here.  I’m eager to see who is left standing after God has his way.

 

 

——

6/25/14

10:17 pm

My father said Trish Morris called him to complain about me, he finally told me today.

Bump to the top, from December 28, 2013

 

 I got a calendar from my old law school.  It was addressed to “Linda Jean Goldthorpe.”  That’s my name now, but it wasn’t when I was enrolled.  For many years, Cool
ey has sent me propaganda addressed to “Linda Miller Goldthorpe.”  (I was “Goldthorpe” when I entered Cooley and “Goldthorpe Miller” when I left.  No hyphen.  I never corrected their error believing that a little alphabetical confusion is good for one’s privacy.)  I do not know how my former law school knows that my name was changed.
—-
                          I also do not know why my state’s puny “electronic harassment support group” has THREE members who also attended Cooley Law School.  I do not know why a man in Texas who attended a “Michigan law school” has been electronically tormented for years.  I do not know why my law school diploma has the signature of Dorothy Comstock Riley, in addition to the required names.  I do not know why my best law-school friend’s mother was on the board of my law school.  I do not know why her daughter chose to throw me under the bus.  I do not know why my introduction to the technology termed “voice-to-skull” happened half a block from the Ann Arbor Veteran’s Hospital.  I do not know Dr. Robert C. Gunn.
                          Nearer to home, I do not know strategy.  I do not know connivance.  I do not know why my best law-school friend did not call or send a note when I returned the fabric samples that belonged to her dead brother who used to work for Tommy Hillfiger.  I do not know why a polite woman would not behave politely.  I do not believe for a moment that others connived against me…I’m nobody.  It’s pretty weird though, isn’t it?  I’m sure glad I’m not paranoid.

 

 

 

7:26 pm

I just had the best cup of coffee in my whole life!  My dad made me coffee!  I was stunned!  (His coffee was so much better than the grocery store crap I drink!)  He had a whole package of new shirts on the counter.  (New shirts come in plastic, I forgot.)  I pitched the second cup into his sink and stalked out.  He was at my house ten minutes later.  Connie behaved perfectly at my dad’s, she sat, and stayed and she came when I called her.  She didn’t attack him.  Nor did I.  We talked!  It was so amazing!  We talked, sharing things.  I read him a letter he just received from a prisoner who violated probation because he lent a kid a truck.  It is evil that people must be monitored after they have done their time.  Kevin went to talk to my dad, when he unlawfully crossed my son’s property to get to his cottage.  He told my dad how he taught his own father to hug.  Apparently my dad asked questions, what a novelty!  I’ve hugged my dad for years.  He’s rejected my hugs for years.  I do not wish him harm.  My father does not recognize the damage he did, I believe that.  I defended him to the goons who laughed at me.  I love him very much.  (He also told me the name of the cop he talked to when he reported his displeasure about my prayer-life and my politics.  <3)

 

 

4:18 pm

I saw Elijah’s parents today, at the Wildlife Refuge.  I told them how I used to buff the floors in the visitor center in 1975.  They didn’t ask about my parents.  I was so relieved.

 

 

 

12:32 pm

My dad wasn’t always a complete psychopath.  When I was fifteen he bought me a ’69 Fairlane, fire-engine red. He put a bumper sticker on the back:  “I’m so Darn Smart.”  He posted it upside-down.  He used to have a sense of humor.  He’s richer now, and keeps his hands over his groin lest somebody strike him where it really hurts.
(Wait.  He also covers his wallet.  Must be hard to keep two balls in the air.)

 

 

12:12 pm

Look.  My dad does is not required to usher me into the bosom of the family he stole from me.  He doesn’t have to bow at my feet, or beg my forgiveness.  He only needs to answer a few questions.  “What did you say.  To whom?”  (My mother SCREAMED at me, “We had to do it!” )   He is ushering many people into lives of torment by government surveillor/gangstalkers.  He knows this.  No wonder he can’t sleep at night.  (FIVE YEARS.  He would not talk to me.)

 

 

—–

11:31 am

Dear Dad, Somebody went down to the cottage again.  I restrained Connie.  You’re welcome.  Would it not be smart, to call me first?  906-291-1376

 

(Mark 10:25

It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God.)
(Did you know that “eye of a needle” is a rock formation? Camels had to kneel to pass.)

9:36 am

My Christian witnesses have not spoken for me, yet.  Do they love God?  Or do they respect my dad’s money?  (I do not say “love” money because loving money is the root of all evil.)   (A witch likes me.  Go figure.)   (“The wicked flee when no man pursueth, but the righteous are as bold as a lion.”)  Christians must shudder when I press the “send” button.  What if they might be required to lift their asses?

 

—-

3:16 am

The deck ceiling was covered in fireflies instead of mosquitoes for a while!  I loved it.  They’re gone now so I should get to work.  I’m enjoying my newfound popularity.  People are coming out of the woodwork!  It seems I’ve struck a nerve, or a couple, and I’ve also learned that people I used to respect have no nerve at all!  Such fun, to roll in truth.
Here’s more truth:  Nobody gets out of here alive.  Wait, that’s not true.  I am.  I died once already, I really did.  I loved somebody more than myself and I died in my car.  Then Jesus brought me back to life, and I saw him.  I saw my loved one shaking hands with him.  There is so much more to this world than Fox news allows us to believe.  We are engaged in WWIII.  If people do not believe this I pity them for the boredom they must suffer as they go to sporting events and malls.  Clarence Grace always smells like perfume.  I don’t know how this is possible since she eats rodents every day.  Connie stinks but she gets much more attention.  (?)   I remember hearing that “you get more flies with honey than with vinegar.”  Bullshit draws the most flies of all!
I really, honestly am not a mean-hearted woman who wants to make people uncomfortable.  I am a loving steward of concepts they should already see  for themselves.  My dad takes kids to Sunday school every Sunday, he’s done it for years.  That’s how I learned to drive, sitting between his knees on the way to pick up some kid.  Once even in an airplane, he allowed me to pretend I was driving.  (I was still  flying, despite his deception.)     “Be not deceived, God is not mocked.”    God and the NSA keep track of us, what we do, where we go, with whom we hobnob.  I wonder how many trips to Sunday school  it takes to  cancel out 1) lying, 2) lying, and 3) lying?  I guess that’s God’s  business.

 

 

—-

6/24/14

2:20 pm

What a blessing! I just found out that my dad and my brother actually read what I write! “Thank you, God, for what you’re doing in this “family.” I understand my dad believes I should be self-sufficient. (I think David should too.) I could have earned MUCH money after I ran for Congress. I tried to get a job scrubbing a restaurant; I tried to be a waitress. When ROBERT GOLDTHORPE calls a person crazy, a person’s options are limited. (Dates available upon request.) I used to be a lawyer. I ran for Congress. When I’m running this family we will all be free. (I think David should be self-sufficient too but his wife wouldn’t put up with that I think.)

6/23/14

11:10 pm

We were listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn until the internet went out so I turned on the radio in my car so we could hear it on the deck.  Stevie was still playing.  The mosquitoes are gone.  Kevin was impressed.  He  is untraining my dog, by tossing her french fries as we eat. He said, “George does that all the time.”  He’s right.  He cooked dinner.  He cooked lunch too.  (I don’t usually eat twice a day.)  I told him about  nutmeg with eggs.  (Quiche Lorraine calls for nutmeg.) He washed a bunch of dishes and we’re having fish and chips.  I rarely eat food that another person has cooked and I’m really grateful.
My dad put me in a situation with my sons and ex-husband where I must earn my keep, continually.  It is overwhelming to me, what my men expect.  Dad  expects nothing of me, other than absolute obeisance.  He doesn’t want to know what I know or feel what I feel…but I must maintain his chosen persona.  This is absolute lunacy.  I think I may get a sex-change so I can be his child.  He doesn’t recognize brains unless they’re connected to a dick.
My brother talked to Kevin about running a “family” restaurant.  Multiple times.  David gets distracted.  He doesn’t even return Kevin’s phone calls!  (Not even a message.)  I have a message for my brother: In the summer when your manager shits out on you, Kevin will be worth $50,000, an apartment and a company car. He will increase sales by twenty percent.  (He’s really good with numbers.  Not just food.)
You can  piss away my money but using it to blow people’s heads off is not ok.

 

12:07 pm

Text to the father figure:

“Dear Dad, Somebody drove across the lawn.  This doesn’t happen without your say-so.  Connie went ballistic.  I do not wish to see you sued.  (As we know, I am not a target for lawsuits.)  PLEASE CALL FIRST.  (I can’t wait until you behave like a grown-up.)”

 

—-

4:58 am

 

—-

6/22/14

11:35 am

I left a very shapely four-leaf clover at the Moose, for Robyn.

I’m beginning to feel like myself,  after all this.  I found an even more unique clover for my dad, and I left it in his van at church and put lilacs under his wiper.  Dad’s clover was three leaves…with three VERY TINY leaves at the top of each big one!  So cool.  (6 is the number of man.  I wonder  how it got mutated that way? )   I left a note telling him I gave the good-luck clover to Robyn instead of him because she also should know that God is real.
* one very tiny leaf, top of each big leaf.  6 total.

 

6/21/14

4:19 pm

 

My legs are streaked with blood and mosquito guts.  I went to see the prophet, he lives in the woods.  The prophet released me.  He said my dad knows he was wrong.  He said I fought a good fight and I’m released.  I told him about the gypsy wagon I want and he wants one too.   He and his son bowed their heads and scratched their chins as they told me to release my dad.  They also bowed and scratched when they told me to release George.  We all nodded as we talked about George’s  kindness and good heart.  We bowed and scratched together, when we talked about his teenager-tendencies.  (You don’t raise a kid with drug dealers around. )  Connie smelled everything,  at the prophet’s. She smelled other dogs and a porcupine and a kitten and a huge snapping turtle and brand new puppies.  She behaved as a perfect lady.  I did too.  The prophet remembered more details of my story than I do.  He was my mom’s special-ed student and he can’t even read.  He’s way smarter than us, just the same.  The prophet told me that my life and its effect, are in God’s hands.

 

—-

 

 

4:38 am

 

Eckhart Tolle says we should abandon our “stories.”  (He wasn’t the “number 1 top spiritual person in the world” last year.  Pretty close.  I’ve never seen the award show.)  I believe Tolle is mistaken.  I believe our stories are very valuable.  Our stories are life.  To pretend our life never happened is abandoning life itself.  I can know that I am made of vibrations with no actual matter and I can meditate myself into cosmic consciousness, but what is to be gained, if I don’t look forward to living tomorrow in my body at my spot?  How would erasing my mind encourage me to bless others?  My favored spiritual teacher was all about stories.  Jesus spoke in parables, and he still does.  He turns water into wine all the time.  Most of my body vibrates in a water-way.
People fear transformation, people sink into comfort with their stories and choose not to finish the book.  This is choosing death.  They believe that nothing can ever change so they accept lies and foolishness.  Eventually they will die so it doesn’t matter.  I do not choose to die before I’ve been the extraordinary character God imagined  when he wrote my story.  God wishes to see everybody happy, so I get pushy.  I have stepped on many vibration-manifested-imaginary-human toes.  I do not tread on fake people to be mean.  I do so to get attention.  I dyed my hair red.  I started drinking beer.  I ignited a forest fire!   WAKE UP!   We are not meant to play out the hand we got dealt and then die. We are meant to change the world!  We are meant to write happy endings  for EVERYBODY.
It is difficult  to live with unpleasant histories or prospects.  I have longed for release from my story, and even death.  I can only imagine how others feel, who have been tortured, slandered and ostracized, but it hasn’t been an easy road for me. God  told me in 2007 that I must  “withstand.”  He said, “What is to come is ordained by me for my glory.”   ( I didn’t like the message at all.  Talk about “fear of the Lord!” )  I have done many things I didn’t like.  In 2009 I became aware of intrusion in my (constant) prayer-world.  God asked me to tolerate it, for love’s sake.  I am not naturally a tolerant person and I couldn’t do it, so I asked him to change  me. I asked him to do whatever it took, to make my life the parable he intended.  Then my “story” got  VERY TERRIBLE!  So I asked him to change me more.  “When we are tried, and purified, we shall come forth as gold.”  “God is a consuming fire.”  (This is not a fable.)  (Sometimes I like to know how a story ends, before I start the book.)
—-
God has been writing my story and we need a plot twist.  I have opportunity to help a lot of people.  My father’s big crooked toes are in the way.  I have stomped on them and sucked them and washed his feet at his office. (I’d have to look up the date. I scented the water with Moonlight Path, from Bath and Body.)   If I were the author of my life, my daddy would have loved me, I would not be destitute and I would not know what government does to people it doesn’t like.  However, here I am.    My life is a parable.  Everybody’s life is a parable.   “A parable is a succinct, didactic story, in prose or verse, which illustrates one or more instructive lessons or principles.” (Wickipedia.  In Sunday school they said a parable is an earthly story with a heavenly meaning.)
—–
If my dad would give me the smoking gun, I could provide happy endings to a WHOLE BUNCH OF PEOPLE WORLDWIDE!  If he’d prefer to just die, then that’s his business.  I will become gold, just the same.

 

 

 

 

—–

6/20/14

7;04 pm

HEY DAD, what should I tell people when they ask about you? I’d like to be kind but I must be honest. And Mom? Geeze. This is a dilemma.

 

4:29 pm

Wanna hear more Goldhorpe fraud?  My 44 year-old cousin is seeking to be adopted by his father’s second wife.   (Maybe he already was.  If so, mozel tov.) I cannot claim to understand what might be gained legally by such an unusual transaction.  I also cannot claim to understand how her natural children might feel.  (They have not spoken to me since one of them burned my first book.  Without reading it.)  My cousin may have unpleasant memories of his life with his mom.  I can sympathize,  However, a middle-aged man cannot choose a new mother.   I remember holding him in my arms when he was new.  His mother had a poem on her refrigerator: “Not flesh of my flesh, not bone of my bone…something else…but My Own.  (Wish I had a nice rich lady to adopt me so I could forget my mom.)

My mother is also a fraud.  She is the education-guru but she never helped me with my homework–ever.  (To be fair, she couldn’t have helped because she wasn’t around.)  She never counseled me about college, or even basic hygiene.  (When my older girlfriend started her period I was shocked.  So was she at my ignorance.)  When I was raped at seven years old I went to my mother for assistance.  Etc.  (Do you REALLY want me to go on, Parents?)

 

—-

6/19/14

8:30 pm

 

Josh was in a good mood.  I told him I’d never strike him again.  I gave him the last 20 dollars that I owed him.  I told him I’d never strike him again.  He’s an adult and so am I.  We’re moving on.  Despite my dad’s extended  adolescence.  Thank you Lord.

6:31 pm

It is very hard to live in a state of ignominy.  It would be presumptuous for me to claim  it is harder when one does not deserve one’s reputation, I don’t know that to be so.  I’ve never been accused of any crime I actually committed.   “Reproach hath broken my heart; and I am full of heaviness: and I looked for some to take pity, but there was none; and for comforters, but I found none”  (Psalm 69:20)

 

 

8:36 am

When I pray, sometimes God answers back.  Does that ever happen to you?

 

8:22 am

 

 

—-

7:45 am

I haven’t found a four-leaf clover yet this year. However, I have killed more mosquitoes already, than I managed in my entire life!  “Thank you God that I found so MANY clovers last year.  Thank you for mosquitoes, they must have some purpose in your plan.  Thank you that they do not annoy me as much as they used to.  Thank you that NOTHING annoys me as much as it used to. Thank you that I am no longer intolerant of high temperatures, or lumpy beds!  Thank you for my dad who caused me to learn to survive without luxuries.  Thank you for air-conditioning, when it works and when it does not.  Thank you for refrigeration, when it works and when it does not.  Thank you for my miracle car, and thank you that I occasionally have enough gas money to drive to Curtis!  Thank you for the years of extraordinary work and persistence and boredom…on the deck.  Thank you that at one time I owned this deck.  Thank you for my destiny, and thank you for the years of waiting to see it fulfilled.  Thank you for giving my father the gift of repentance, and thank you for all  the people who will recognize your MAJESTY when he does right by me and my family.  I love you Jesus, more than I love comfort or entertainment.  I desire to be in your presence more than anything and even if people think it strange that I spent years of hours praying, I know the truth and so do you.  Thank you for my online goon-babysitter, who teaches me about computers.  Thank you that I can now turn on the TV.  Amen.”

 

 

—-

6/18/14

6:53 pm

My son will not pull his weight because he does not believe in Jesus.

 

6:19 pm

Josh said that if he does work around the house I will be encouraged that my God was right.
Matthew 18:6
But whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea.
I am SO VERY GLAD I’m not my dad.

 

(They both believed. )

 

 

6:13 pm

The rich ones get away with grievous lies and the poor ones get marooned. THIS SHALL NOT STAND.
My mother agreed that Josh should be encouraged to do things…three years ago. He is an adult now. They cut me off at the knees. She is not a mother.
I had a discussion with both boys, about how they might wish to contribute to the food-factory their father and I maintain. They left their dirty dishes. My father will answer for many things.
Isaac said,”Don’t thank Josh for doing things. He thinks you believe he did them for you.”
Thanks, Dad.
Also, Josh told me to get out of HIS house. Again, thank you Dad.

 

 

——

5:32 pm

I slapped Josh on his left cheek. He grabbed my hands, pushed me into the hall, threatened me, and threw my cigarettes into the river. (My dad set this up.) Josh does nothing. Nothing at all. He mows grass once a month. (His dad thinks this is fine.) I believe an 18 year-old man should do things, and care about what his life costs others. My father has heard every single tale of our torment. He was told when Isaac (peace-personified) threw me against a wall knocking me out cold. (He demonstrated that uncharacteristic brutality because I said, “My DAD IS A LIAR.” )  My children require truth. My dad lied. My family suffers because of him. (I have hard-copies of my letters to my dad. 906-291-1376)

 

 

10:41 am

I just got back from Fox River Auto where George had my car’s fuel filter changed and replaced the broken windshield-wiper blade.  I looked at pictures of Lorita’s gorgeous twin boys and met their father.  Then Elijah asked how my parents are.  I am not a skillful dissembler and the past few years have been difficult when people (frequently) ask such hard questions.  This time I said, “I don’t really know.  They cast me off a couple years ago.  Goldthorpes do that.  They look OK.”  I’m planning a better speech for next time.

Elijah seemed surprised, he said, “I didn’t know that.” I wonder how many of my acquaintances don’t know that?

My new speech will mention how grateful I am that my boys allow me to live in their house.

6/17/14

4:30 pm

2:35 pm

And, father, get that hypocrite doctor who writes your prescriptions to apologize too. I haven’t been to a doctor in six years! (She looks tired.)

 

—-

 

2:14 pm

 

I don’t even think it’s the money my dad objects to parting with.  With which to part.  Whatever.  He CANNOT be wrong or his life has been pointless.  Point taken.

2 pm

 

Hey Dad, a lot of people are contacting me who haven’t spoken to me for years!  What should I tell them?

—-

12:48 pm

 

I drove out to Long Point so George could pick up his van from the shop.  When I got back I  stopped to tell my dad that I had arrived safely  despite my broken windshield-wiper because as a dad, he cares about my safety.  He told me if I drove fast enough I wouldn’t need wipers at all.

 

 

—-

11:29 am

“Why do you have to treat us like cattle?”

Why good leaders make you feel safe.

9:48 am

Text to Dad (his cousin died and his other cousins were here):

 

“I called Larry about renting a place for Kathy.  Nancy and Donna just left this morning.  Did you see them?  He doesn’t know what he’s going to do yet and doesn’t want a long-term tenant.  Please think.”

 

 

 

 

—-

8:55 am

Zuckerberg, take a memo:Text message to my friend:
Hey, My family is going to Minnesota and I have my dad on the ropes. I think he might try to kill me. Could you come up?
LikeLike ·  · Promote · 
  • Thatrandom Othercandidate *try to kill me again
    (Dad is apparently selling his vacant cabin to a guy from Alaska who intends to install “smart meters” in my neighborhood.  He said he’d think about a place for Kathy.)
    I also told him Dylan needs a job and to be included in our family.)
    (I didn’t tell him this, but my father needs to tell JD that he is a phenomenal worker.)

—-

8:19 am

My dad just made  down-payment on his debt to me.   I had hoped for more but I’m glad he’s getting the bigger picture.  As soon as he places his notice of apology in the Newberry News, for disparaging my politics and prayer-life (both protected forms of speech)  and for calling me a murderer, then  I can get  on with my life.  “Thank you God, for giving me an honest, smart father.  Amen.”

 

He sure has aged since we made our bet.  I should probably pray for him more.

 

—–

7:03 am

I remember when the Goldthorpes discarded Kathy, snarking  that she had killed a cat. (Personally, I believe taking care of animals is responsible.  I decided to marry George when he killed an injured bird for me.)  Jeanie was somewhat respected (but not supported financially or encouraged in any manner)  until her children began making their own decisions.  Goldthorpes discarded more of their own. .Some  families talk and sacrifice even, to understand each other.  Most  families provide opportunity for their own. Jeanie’s boys have expressed interest in moving home.  Goldthorpes are teachable people, even the psychopaths among us, and they will facilitate remediation for years of neglect and slander.

—–

 

 

6/16/14

7:29 pm

I’m going to stop saying “lying father.”  I have heard him speak truth and I choose to support that reality.

 

 

—-

1:23 pm

My cousin  flagged me over to reprimand me for my Facebook posts.  I love him very much and I was tremendously encouraged.  It’s time we stopped talking ABOUT  each other and began talking TO each other. God does not make problem children.  Parents decide who is a “problem” by their narcissistic prejudice, and their curses.  The only families that remain after the “shift” will be those who do not curse one another.  We create reality with every word out of our mouths.  (And with our thoughts but that’s a little advanced for the “Christians” to grasp, so far.)    (“Out of the same mouth proceedeth blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not so to be.”–James 3:10)   (At least the Goldthorpes don’t commit that sin.  I rarely hear them bless anybody.)
Everything we’ve relied upon is being shaken.  Humanity-defining changes are happening in our political subjugation, the economies of the world, and in our understanding of spiritual reality.  Our world  is gone  and our lives will never be the same.  Brother will turn against brother, our enemies will be those in our own households.  Except for the Goldthorpes.
—-
Goldthorpes viciously attacked my own tiny family but I’ll not dwell on that any longer.  My boys are exceptional and the times require stalwart logic.  The situation of Planet-Earth is far more dangerous than my father can imagine as he lounges in cafes ’round the world.   (I am ashamed that my family might require imagination to recognize the times. They should turn off the TV and pay attention.)  (“When it is evening, ye say, It will be fair weather: for the sky is red.  And in the morning, It will be foul weather to day: for the sky is red and lowering. O ye hypocrites, ye can discern the face of the sky; but can ye not discern the signs of the times?”  –Matthew 16:2-3)   My larger family chuckles at the deprivation of others, because they’re rich.  Their sin is inexcusable, but it is not unforgivable.
I declare, “Lord, do not permit me to say even one thing that is not 1) truth, 2) the whole truth, and 3) nothing but the truth.  So help me God.”)  Kathy Goldthorpe Lahti has requested residence in Lakefield.  Since my family is the only family who talks to her, she should live near us.  Gentlemen who sign the big checks, make this right.  Thank you.
—-
Robyn, I’d very much like to cook dinner for you and JD.  Is there a day between the twentieth and the thirtieth that might work?  906-291-1376

 

 

——–

6/15/14

8:44 pm

I’ve baked “Killer chocolate cake” and molten chocolate cake and Kevin’s brownies (but I didn’t use the walnuts, Kevin loves walnuts).  I baked his mother’s recipes and stuffed peppers with divine inspiration.  If my father does not yet love me…he’s a neuter.  (That raises a dozen immediate questions…)

 

PS-  God said he was giving me everything I ever wanted.  I only thought I’d get one man!

 

 

 

8:40 pm

Isaac and Josh are back.  They ate pizza.  They didn’t go to Manistique.  Isaac is  playing “I still haven’t found what I’m looking for.”  Everything is a metaphor.  I love when the boys are around, but I also recognize that they are far healthier when they are not here.  I am too.  I breathe deeply about three miles south.  My father was gifted with chocolate cake and ice cream at the pizza parlor  because he  is a father.

—-

 

8:44 pm

I’ve baked “Killer chocolate cake” and molten chocolate cake and Kevin’s brownies (but I didn’t use the walnuts, Kevin loves walnuts).  I baked his mother’s recipes and stuffed peppers with divine inspiration.  If my father does not yet love me…he’s a neuter.  (That raises a dozen immediate questions…)

 

 

7:33 pm

Josh and I were waiting for Isaac to pick us up so we could have pizza in Curtis with my father.  My father pulled into the driveway instead!   Isaac said Grandpa decided we would not eat in Curtis but we were going to pick up a pizza (already ordered, of course)   and take a cruise to Manistique.  I thanked Mom and Dad politely and said I do not like surprises where I can’t get out of the car.  Imprisonment is not the only issue; my father is not a smooth driver and the back of his van lurches around.  I got up at three.  I hope they have a very nice time.  He doesn’t know me.  For all he knows I could be glucose-intolerant.  I will never submit to his controlling tendencies again.

 

Correction on Facebook:  *gluten intolerant.  I don’t eat sugar anyway.

Isn’t this funny?  Zuckerberg says I wrote this only 14 hours ago:

Fathers’ Day Thoughts…I don’t know if I’ll see my dad.


Fathers’ Day
I plan to make waffles for George and the boys in a couple hours. Also venison with onions and bacon.
Isaac and I both issued Fathers Day invitations to my dad but he didn’t RSVP. He doesn’t answer questions. Isaac doesn’t want to eat too much because he might also be eating lunch with Grandpa. We’re not sure. My father, God bless him on today especially, does not do anything to make anybody else’s life easier. He does many nice things. They are applauded although they intentionally disempower their recipients. He gave me an expensive reproduction bracelet, Marilyn’s rhinestones. He knew it was tacky and instructed me to only wear it with blue jeans. I stopped wearing blue jeans about that time.
—-
I dislike synthetics. Aspartame is poison. My preference for genuine commodities is not a new trait. My father’s failure to recognize genuine things is not new either. Neither is his complete disregard for others’ personal preferences. He buys a lot of jackets for us and because he likes jackets with elastic at the waist, we all must wear such ghastly garments. The females in my family are rather hippy, and elastic-waist-jackets are not their best look. (Except for me. My ass is pretty skinny.) He doesn’t give a shit.
—-
My father is a psychopath. He will not commit to the SIMPLEST QUESTION unless he’s had time to consider the ramifications of all possible answers. I KNOW THIS GUY. He will not tell me the truth about lawnmower gas-caps (6/10/14) …and he won’t even commit to a unique, once-a-year, special FATHERS DAY INVITATION! A straight answer is far too much risk. What if he gave somebody else a bit of personal power? A psychopath can’t relinquish control of ANYTHING. He almost made me have a baby in a snowbank in a blizzard with a taxi-driver! I had to cry before he’d get us a hotel room! (9 months pregnant and my dad finally realizes I might not be available for a while after giving birth so he decided to take me shopping in Kansas City during a major storm.) He had me moving furniture during BOTH pregnancies and made me sleep on the floor the night before I took the Bar Exam, also pregnant! I’ve refused to get into a car with him for years. I never know when I’ll be coming back and he doesn’t stop to let us pee.

 

 

11:12 am–

earlier:

I started the bacon and Isaac put the sliced onions into the pan while I washed dishes.  Then George got up.  He got Connie all excited and obnoxious so I stopped doing dishes and came outside to smoke one of my final cigarettes.  Happy Fathers’ Day.  He was given a memo at work that says he will not be mandated to work double shifts at my government’s money-factory-prison.  Best Fathers’ Day gift ever.  He is out here now, with Connie.  He put his hand on my shoulder and thanked me for making him a father.  I thanked him for making me a mother.  He bought cigarettes.  I am now going inside to make sure the waffle iron is plugged in so it can heat up.  I asked two men to do it but I should check.
11:05 am
Isaac went to church.  We ate fast and I prayed that Jesus would apply his blood to Isaac that he could be shielded from the religious spirits at church.  Apparently the boys are taking my father to lunch!  My dad said, “yes!”  Josh had a dream, he was in prison.  He woke up and regrouped before going back to sleep.  He found himself right back in the cell!  When he woke up again he stormed into George’s room and shook his fist at him.  “Why wouldn’t you pay the bail?  You left me in prison.”  It was a pretty funny story.

 

_____

8:47 am
My father just left.  He came for coffee bringing his own cup with the Gordon tartan emblazoned on it.  He brought orange cranberry scones and a gift for George.    If I had known he was coming I’d have showered, perhaps.  The coffeepot was empty, I got up at three, but I made another pot for him.  He drinks 1/4 cups at a time.
It was very nice to see him and I prohibited Connie from jumping at his groin, or slashing his throat.  I believe he was grateful but I had to pull her collar right off to protect him.  I wish I would have known he was coming.

 

 

—-

5:00 am

Fathers’ Day
I plan to make  waffles for George and the boys in a couple hours.  Also venison with onions and bacon.
Isaac and I  both issued Fathers Day invitations to my dad but he didn’t RSVP.  He doesn’t answer questions.   Isaac doesn’t want to eat too much because he might also be eating lunch with Grandpa.   We’re not sure. My father, God bless him on today especially, does not do anything to make anybody else’s life easier.  He does many nice things.  They are applauded although they intentionally disempower their recipients.  He gave me an expensive reproduction bracelet, Marilyn’s  rhinestones.  He knew it was tacky and instructed me to only wear it with blue jeans.  I stopped wearing blue jeans about that time.
—-
I dislike synthetics.  Aspartame is poison.  My preference for genuine commodities is not a new trait.  My father’s failure to recognize genuine things  is not new either. Neither is his complete disregard for others’ personal preferences.  He buys a lot of jackets for us  and because he likes jackets with elastic at the waist, we all must wear such ghastly garments.  The females in my family are rather hippy, and elastic-waist-jackets are not their best look.  (Except for me.  My ass is pretty skinny.)   He doesn’t give a shit.
—-
My father is a psychopath.  He will not commit to the  SIMPLEST QUESTION unless he’s had time to consider the ramifications of all possible answers.  I KNOW THIS GUY.  He will not tell me the truth about lawnmower gas-caps (6/10/14) …and he won’t even commit to a unique, once-a-year, special  FATHERS DAY INVITATION!  A straight answer is far too much risk.  What if he gave somebody else a bit of personal power?  A psychopath can’t  relinquish control of ANYTHING.  He almost made me have a baby in a snowbank in a blizzard with a taxi-driver!  I had to cry before he’d get us a hotel room!  (9 months pregnant and my dad finally realizes I might not be available for a while after giving birth so he decided to  take me shopping in Kansas City during a major storm.)   He had me moving furniture during BOTH pregnancies and made me sleep on the floor the night before I took the Bar Exam, also pregnant!   I’ve refused to get into a car with him for years.  I never know when I’ll be coming back and he doesn’t stop to let us pee.

 

 

 

—–

Happy Fathers’ Day!

 

“Our dads are wrong about us Linda, because God don’t make no junk.”-–Kathy Goldthorpe Lahti

 

——-

6/14/14

5:50 pm

Bump to the top, from:

3/10/14

6:38 am

                              I went to church today.  God has me do that once in  a while so the religious spirits can get another look at me.  I don’t bring them home anymore but I can’t stay in their pigsty very  long.  I came home and just yelled at Jesus.  I said, “Do you mean to tell me that not a single person in that church building knows how to worship you?  Some of them have been on the “mission field” all their lives!  Who the hell were they working for?”   I didn’t wait for his answer, it’s not  my business.  It’s not my name they claim, it’s his.  He’ll take care of his own business.  I’ll keep taking notes and sticking my nose in everybody else’s  business  as he directs.  I asked him for more fire on my family and me and Helmer and Michigan.  More fire of love and truth.  More passion for justice. More sharing of hearts and  goods!  I’m praying the fire onto the earth so God can set up his Kingdom here. Everybody should be praying for this.  We should be worshiping Jesus!!!!  (Look it up, maybe that will help.)
 —
                          The Baptists do not yet know that:   1)  this is a new age, 2)  the TRUTH has come,  and  3)  you don’t get out of here alive.  In case you haven’t  figured it yet, nobody gets out of here alive. That’s a frightening prospect.  But, it’s not the worst case scenario. The more frightening reality is, “Death is not the end.”  (Dylan)  You die and then you might die again.  And then you live and you die again.   Karma ain’t for the faint-hearted but it’s the gift that keeps on giving.  I have escaped Karma by the blood of Jesus and the word of my testimony.  (Which is recorded, notarized, and implicates my father.)

 

1:09 pm

Gentlemen, here’s what we’re gonna do.  You get out your statements of net worth.  Figure out how much will be left standing when you die (so far, your deaths are a foregone conclusion.)  Now add in your sons’ net worth(s?) minus whatever you may believe to be the value of their long-standing obeisance.  Subtract your daughters’ net worths but you can’t do that until you’ve added what their services WOULD have been if you had treated them like people and not expected the government or other men  to care for them.  (It gets tricky at this point, but God is teaching me math.)  Then you divide that blood-drenched quantity by the hours you labored.  Then divide it by us.  Easy.

 

1:57 pm

I should have said “ADD the women’s value.”  I’m really poor at math.  So far.

 

—–

1:55 am

How to Make Money Selling Drugs

My ex used to sell drugs. He’s never even smoked dope one time in his life! (He only sold marijuana and he was legal.) (Just because you’re legal doesn’t mean the illegals won’t be hanging out.) (My nearly-eighteen year-old has never even tried weed one time, despite being immersed in it!) (It’s not an imperative but it is our birthright.) (We were really poor. Long story.)

 

 

——-

6/13/14

8:18 am

George is taking my sons to Minnesota again, for ten days.  They leave on the twentieth and I  will be very lonely.  If anybody would like to call me I’d appreciate it.  My number is 906-291-1376.  I just noticed that George put a thousand more minutes on my flip-phone.  “Lord, thank you for George.  Please bless him with peace.”

 

——-

6/12/14

4:21 pm

“Thank you Lord, for all the people you’ve put into my life.  Thank you for my mom and dad and David and Chris and their families. Thank you for Gloria and Kent and Lois and Jimmy and Jan and Billie Jo. Thank you for Kevin and Kevin and Brandon and Rick.  Thank you for Glenn and Glenn Wilson and Tracie.  Thank you for George and Isaac and Josh and Jeanie and Kathy and JD and their families.  Thank you for Trish and Margaret and Adam and Tony and Chad.  Thank you for Steve and Chayla and [  ].  Thank you for Noah and Jason.  Thank you for the goons and for everybody who talked badly about me and raped me without even showing their faces.   Thank you for General Alexander and Mike Rogers.  Thank you for all the things they’ve all done to fulfill your plan for me.  Thank you for the many millions who will come to know you through Adam.  Thank you for your Spirit working in all these lives.  In your name and through your shed blood I take authority over spirits of division and lying.  In your name I release a spirit of reconciliation and healing. Thank you for filling me completely.  Thank you for giving me money to accomplish your will.  Thank you for using me and for giving me joy unspeakable and full of glory.  Thank you for freedom from everything that bothers all of us who seek you.  Thank you for truth and justice.  Thank you for establishing your Kingdom on your Earth.

 

 

 

—–

6/11/14

11:19 am

Dear Aunt Gloria,
It was good to talk to you when  I was walking Connie.  You’re a very beautiful woman.  You asked many questions.  I would like to be completely honest with you about my life.  (I must confess that when you’re in my neighborhood I feel as though I am under surveillance, again.)  I’d like  to embrace you and feed you and laugh with you.  I feed many people, and we laugh. You asked me two years ago, after reading my first book, why I talked about marijuana. I submit that prejudice may have blinded you to more important matters.  Why did you not ask about  how I was immobilized repeatedly for a period of years?  Why did you not ask about the disembodied rapes I suffered? Growing marijuana did not contribute to a good environment for my young son, and I sought my father’s assistance to regain control of a troublesome situation.  My dad chose instead, to destroy my reputation, destroy my ability to earn money and totally disregard my son’s well-being.  (I kept notes.)  He did not like my personal behavior and chose to focus on that.  “God forgive him.”
I am attempting still, to expose truth about what our government does to people it does not like.  My efforts were disrupted by my father’s intervention.  You know my dad is paranoid about his riches and reputation.  (He had his own office bugged twenty years ago.)  Yet, he is given a free pass by those who believe propaganda and indoctrination.  I am not asking you to get on board with my freedom-quest, but I am asking that if you interact with me while you are my neighbor, leave prejudice at home.  I was tortured.  I went to Dad for help.  Instead he set me up.  I have records.  I will never stop demanding truth from my government nor from my father.  I’d like to invite you and Carol and Larry for dinner sometime?  Otherwise, don’t stop by the house unless you call first. Thanks.  906-291-1376
With much love, and the fondest family memories I have,
Linda
PS-  Welcome home

 

 

—-

6/10/14

5:28 pm

The adobo is good, I was too hungry to wait though and made guacamole, also good.  My dad said on May 5, that he’d like to take me to dinner again so I just texted him to remind him.

 

3:01 pm

Bullets are approaching.  My duty is to yell  DUCK!, run for cover!  My discourse has been deemed unkind, even unloving, but I beg to differ.  The most loving thing we can ever do for any person is to  1)  discuss our concerns with Jesus, and  2)  follow his advice on the subject’s  behalf.  This is not easy  for a wimp like me but, “His ways are not our ways.” Jesus said  my dad is in Satan’s crosshairs;  how can  I not scream to him?  How could I speak politely when my dad’s eternal soul is balancing on a hair?  Should I regard his lies as unimportant,?  How could I ignore the threat to my father when his dishonesty  proffers (wink)  substantial ammo for the enemy of our souls?  How  could an observant  moral  woman not point out to Jay Walsh that he went AWOL when he refused to right known wrongs?  Little girls were raped on his watch, and they still suffer.  When  I confronted Jay  (after overhearing him call me crazy to strangers…) he announced his position:  “I’m 83 and I don’t want to worry anymore.”  Missionary children have (recently, even) written heartwrenching letters about being raped by  ABWE.  I dare say he should begin to worry.
 At Manakiki Bible Camp Jay introduced me to Jesus.  I thought they were acquainted!  Jesus is not the fable Jay apparently believes him to be.  Jesus does not like seeing little girls raped in his name!  Jesus is real and he is here.  I won’t ever respect a church that does not recognize this fact.  Nor any family; however they will respect me.  (“Forgive me Lord for desiring vindication but I want it mostly for you.”  “I also am very eager to preach.”)  One does not obtain a “get out of jail free” card because one’s paycheck is signed by a “Christian” organization.  However, clemency is available, even to the doomed  soul  who signed  forementioned paycheck.    906-291-1376
—-
My son’s acquaintance was in jail, in a two-man cell with 5 occupants.  The guards pushed food under the door through a space short enough to scrape off the top.  The opening had not been scraped of toxic debris for decades.  One day an old guy died with them.  They thought it prudent to wait until “chow” time to inform their captors of the decedant, lest they be reprimanded.  The guards came in with billy clubs and wailed on the body to determine whether the aged-inmate had truly expired.  What if he were faking death?  Do you suppose he wouldn’t have  been beaten?
—-
Gentlemen, I know far more than you do about the world we inhabit, and far more about YOU’ALL  than you should allow me liberty to insinuate.  3.5 million.  Condo.  Two trust accounts.  Gold and silver.  One car.  One truck.  At your leisure.  Jesus owns your fate no matter when you decide to pay me.  Or to tell the truth.   Or both.

 

 

 

 

12:30 pm

Hey Dad, I thought you should know (since you didn’t this morning) that they DO make replacement gas caps for mowers…and they’re on the shelf at your hardware store!  Just FYI.

 

(That man would not tell me the truth with a gun to his head.  I don’t like guns anyway.  But I’m always a straight-shooter.)

 

—-

6/9/14

1:15 pm

 

 

—-

10:46 am

Sleeping is the hardest work I ever do.  I fear waking up.  Not all the time anymore, but when I do not wake up with praise to Jesus in my heart, I wake up afraid.  I am so grateful to my Lord that the disembodied rapes have stopped!  I am so grateful that I no longer vomit incessantly.  I am very grateful that he carried me from the very mouth of death to confidence in his all-encompassing power and love.  Sometimes I forget, early in the morning.
It used to be that I feared everything.  I was afraid of the torture and afraid of what my dear-ones thought of me. Now I only fear the dear-ones.  God has not given me a “spirit of fear” so I know 1)  fear is a spirit, and 2)  when I fear, it’s not his will.  I used to fight fear, aggressive and confrontationaly.  Now I release it after pleading the blood of Jesus over my mind.  I was afraid of my father every single day of my life until the goons got ahold of me.
“Thank you Lord, for the goons.  Heaven knows I’d not have a blog if somebody didn’t keep pointing me in the right cyber-direction.  Thank you that my dad fucked me over.  I am very grateful for everything I’ve experienced.  Thank you that you planned this before I was even conceived.  Amen.”

10:29 am

Isaac is taking Josh to Mackinac Island.  I bought drinks and made them ham sandwiches. I cooked eggs and toast before they left.   Isaac spent time with my father this morning and Dad must have been very encouraging. He’s got it in him, just not for me.  I’ll text him and thank him.

 

 

—-

5:02 am

God spoke to me in 2005, when I was a (somewhat) contented housewife.  I worshiped and cried and I saw a vision of the US Capitol.  I was very broken and he said :   “Bring my  bride out of government.”  He said, “They don’t know who they are.”   I didn’t know how that could happen but I did everything he told me to do.

 

Several years later I prayed, “Don’t let me just defeat Satan.  Let me astonish him.”   (Being in the manifest presence of the Lord makes you audacious.)  I don’t know about Satan, but I’ve astonished myself.  Jesus is astonishing!  I ran for political office!  This was a thing I’d never considered.  He is doing an amazing thing through my commitment to being his bride;  I will never be content until He has full access to those for whom he died.  I love him more than anything.  The NSA proved that fact to me beyond any doubt.

 

Another time, Jesus said my life would be a “sign and a wonder.”   I cling to his promises as I continue to express truth.  I’ve only been privileged to know a couple other people who are led by the Spirit.  One day soon I will be surrounded by them.  I long to share Jesus with others who know Him.  I long for family.

 

————

6/8/14

6:36 pm

We live under the omnipresent shadow of a political and economic system which promotes materialism, selfishness and individual success over group wellbeing.”

“Dependent on continuous consumption, everything and everyone is seen as a commodity, and competition and ambition are extolled as virtues”

Read more at: http://www.redressonline.com/2014/06/materialism-and-misery-and-the-need-for-change/

 

 

—-

4:35 pm

 

My son requires two operations.  My parents have known this for a couple years.  He is in pain all the time as he spreads joy among the populace.  My father is kicking him out of his apartment…I had hoped he might replace the worn bed.  My son has insurance, but the new surgery treatment is not covered by insurance.  My father is kicking him out.  I guess I already said that?

 

3:25 pm

By “hard money” I mean precious metals.  (I don’t mind a stick shift but I’d like an extended cab.)

 

—-

12:43 pm

 

Proverbs 28:1

The wicked flee when no man pursueth: but the righteous are bold as a lion.

 

—-

6/7/14

9:10 pm

 

From “Personal messages to my dad…”  (in case you missed it)

 

And DEAR GOD, somebody give Jeanie and Kathy a piece of lake front property. You bastards!

—-

8:47 pm

—I just bet Isaac a thousand dollars that Adam’s a Christian now.  He wouldn’t take the bet.  He and his grandfather do the same things, but they do them for very different reasons.  My father pays for everybody at the party.  My son does that too.  I told my dad (when we were speaking) that Isaac would not ever be a “junior executive.”  He returned that very same phrase exuding vile temper.  I said, “My son, Isaac the second, kindest man I know and fruit of my loins, will NOT BE A JUNIOR EXECUTIVE.”  I said this for the reason that is now inherent, and upon us.  We are at the end of time.  Isaac buys everybody dinner because he would like everybody to buy everybody else dinner and thereby change the world.  You buy everybody dinner because you want them to see your platinum card.  Selah.  Father, pay me money soon.  Amen.  Selah.
—-
I think marijuana should not only be legal, but it should be treated with respect.  I am so grateful when the boys come home.  They’re the only people I get to really talk to; I get far too familiar with the people I see at Steve’s.  I do not have friends anymore and I’m very lonely.  I’ve been on a tightrope since 2009.  During the campaigns we had to manually update facebook and sites.  Now it happens automatically.  I do not understand technology but in my ignorance I also do not underestimate it.  I know my mind.  I know intrusion.  I spelled it out.  NSA is toast.  I belong to JESUS, the Christ.  Amen.  Isaac has been on a tightrope since he was born.  Selah.
—–
I have cousins who also tread lightly lest they disturb some trusted fable.  My cousins deserve better inheritance than they’ve been proffered.  James C.W.  Robert David.  You HAVE PAID MORE IN ALIMONY THAN YOU EVER GAVE TO YOUR OWN FEMALE OFFSPRING! You treat their children as convicts.   Be there or be square.  I’ll love you both forever but you’re headed to hell as sure as my mosquito bites torment in the night.  PAY US WHAT WE’RE WORTH!  Selah.
—-
All I have to do is get public.  You can help me or you can hinder me;  it will be only  your reputations  that suffer.  3.5 million.  The condo.  Trust for house and trust for condo. Balance in hard money.  Selah.  (A truck for me and a car for Josh.)  (Not a stick shift.)

 

—-

 

 

—-

6:35 pm

Bump to the top, from 5/13

 

Keep on keepin’ on, here goes:

 

My friend sometimes works for Goldthorpes and he likes that because he says he knows he’ll always get paid.  I enjoy that reputation, and so does my dad, however:

 

“Dear Dad, are you going to allow all these people to know that you are a fraud?  A man who pays his public debts but welsches on his personal ones is a fraud.  Practically definitionally. ”

 

“Lord Jesus, you were there when my dad and I made a bet.  It was ‘his religion vs my faith’.  Our wager is recorded in a notarized affidavit.  My father lost big-time, as we knew he would.  He will not pay up and his whole life has been devoted to establishing a business reputation as a trustworthy deal-maker.  As I view my father from your position [“Take me higher Lord, and allow me to see everything from your position.”] he looks like a fraud.”

“Lord, I will joyfully reside in a pup-tent with a man who will stand for truth.  Many people would benefit from my father’s decision to disclose information you’ve chosen to provide no other way.  You could speak a phone number into my mind (as you frequently do…) and I would not need my father’s input.  You could change America without him.  I consider that you may choose the other way around.”

“Give my dad balls of copper, that changed the world!  You said, in the Bible that the copper was as valuable as the gold!  Copper is a working-man’s metal.  The working-man’s mettle is far more valuable than we think.  Cover my dad with your precious blood shed on his behalf, and give him courage to do the right thing.  Allow him to love himself,  soul and body, and give him recognition of the power/rights/authority inherent to the Sons of God.  Renew his youthful pursuit of higher air.  Give him compassion, and burden him with the necessity of providing opportunity for those to whom he has denied even free thought.  Break his heart.  At your leisure.”

 

Amen.  “I love you Lord, and I lift my voice!  To worship you, oh, my soul rejoice.  Take joy my KING!   In what you hear!  Let it be a sweet, sweet sound, to your ear.”

 

Amen, again.

 

 

6:23 pm

Everything bad that has happened to my family since my father attempted to kill me has been his fault.  This might not be factually correct, but it is the closest supposition evidence can provide.  There is also the absolute fact that I approached him hundreds of times over the intervening years…requesting ADVICE.  I requested LOANS OF TOOLS, I requested to HIRE his stewards.  I did not ask for money or wood or any material materials.  I asked for HIM.  These requests were repeatedly ignored, and underscored by his increasingly  venomous attacks on my character.  He wouldn’t even return a phone call.  I don’t even bother calling him anymore, I just text.

 

—–

6:16 pm

“It stuns me, as much as it did 40 years ago when I started, that it is possible to have people so emotionally disconnected that they can function as if other people are objects to be manipulated and destroyed without any concern.”

(Professor Robert Hare, a criminal psychologist, is the world’s leading expert on criminal psychopaths.)

 

 

——–

6/5/14

8:21 pm

One day my father will bow before my children and tell them that my only concern after being RAPED AND VIOLATED AT HIS BEQUEST…was their welfare.  He knows this.  He will tell them the truth and somebody will love me.  He respects me so much he can’t even look me in the eye.  He knows what he’s done.  He knows and he will repent.  I will continue to love him and be grateful for the restored affection of my children.  My father is better than he has been.

5:56 am

“The Arrogance of the Richfolk”
I know that truly rich folk will chuckle at my use of the term.  I beg their indulgence and choose my label only to compare the local haves and have-nots.  I’ve never known any truly rich folk.  My acquaintance is with nouveau riche, encumbered  by gaudy overconsumption, punitive manners and sound-bite morality.  They take pride in their glitter and slurp lobster in front of the TV.  They presume to deserve their rotating mountains of junk and cite reasons for the poverty of others.  They’re certain that poor people are not as smart as they, nor as virtuous.  The  folksy-rich deem poverty an earned condition.  Their ignorance  (and lack of good taste…) is comical. Derision from such folk is welcome to those who prefer substance to sequins.  “Thank you God, that I have never been rich. When I am, please enable me to see everybody else through your eyes, and to distribute what is in reality, YOUR MONEY, as you wish.”

 

——–

6/3/14

1:46 pm

Bump to the top:  from 6/7/13

I TOLD THEM!  I just remembered something God said a long time ago.  He said, “You don’t have to do it.”  I forgot!  He’s doing it.  We will be vindicated and truth will reign!   10 stories in a row on Drudge about all the people watching us on the internet!  I TOLD THEM WE WERE BEING WATCHED!  The headline was, “Internet from Hell”.  (Shit, if one guy in a garret can do the stuff I’ve seen, the goons can do anything.  They should pour my coffee.)
Why watch me?  I don’t commit crimes!  I use my turning signal even in the middle of the night.  I drive in the right lane even when Marv says I’d get better gas mileage in the left one. Why me?  Maybe something like this: I annoy people.  It is now a criminal offense in New York to “annoy” a police officer.  I annoy everyone I know.  I annoy those I don’t know.  (Isaac says everybody likes me…until they get to know me.)  I am an undesirable.  Undesirability is the “why”.  Unfortunately, to the cause of truth, “undesirability” is a fluid concept.  Evaluations of desirability are sin, and will be punished with death.  Or, they can be abolished from the rulebooks and from the hearts of each man.  Your choice.
OK, I am deemed undesirable by witness of people who have either 1) more money than I, or 2) more chutzpah than they got the foundation for.  My own father says I am not fit to live in this society as a contributive participant.  He thinks the government should give me money to sit still and keep my mouth shut.  My dad has mishandled his affairs and wants a bail-out.  Some “conservative”.  (I annoy my DAD really bad.)
The stun-guns are a different thing.  It is wrong to induce victims to hear and feel and do things at the whim of others.  ALL the rulebooks prohibit this type of behavior.  My rulebook predicted it.  The Bible says that in the final hours of this planetary life,  this “pre-evolutionary-leap-time”…men will make merchandise of people, buying and selling their very souls.  Some souls cannot be bought. (Some will overcome, those who are pregnant with God’s purpose.  They got that way from spending intimate time with him.)  Stun guns are done.  Those involved will be tried.  Intentional ignorance will be dealt with severely.
Creepy people are also on the undesirable-list.  This will change abruptly, when everybody sees and hears what the creepy people currently watch and listen to.  Newcomers will be turned inside-out, just creeping themselves out.  This will not be funny, even to those of us who expect it.  We will be very busy because all the formerly non-creepy people will be running to us with questions.  We will always have the right answers, if we seek them from Jesus.
The new kingdom is Jesus.  His character and will are law.  People will be very happy about this, and begin to believe one another again.  It will start slowly, but there will be a tipping point and those who do not embrace love and truth will not last.  They will cease to exist in our world.  We will finally learn the definition of love.
Responsibility, and its pains, will be lifted from every shoulder.  As a result, we will become more productive, because love is a far better motivator.  We will share, so personal gain will not motivate us.  With the top human fears conquered, we will never be sad.  We will all know we can never lose life or love.  We will create.  We’ll be like Him.
“Thank you for allowing me to experience the low place.  Thank you for preparing me perfectly, all alone.  Do not allow me to speak even one word that doesn’t originate in you.  Thank you for guiding me through the darkness and do not allow me to look, even now, to the left or to the right, but directly at you.  I am yours.