9/1/16

2:20 pm

Jesus reminded me again, that ONLY HE can make me perfect,  and I’m really wanting Him to speed it up.  I SHOULD BE THE EXACT OPPOSITE OF MY ANTAGONIST BUT I’M NOT ALL THE WAY THERE.
Dad wants everybody to believe he’s the shitz.
I want to BE THE SHITZ (metaphorically speaking and with an emphasis on purity and consecration to Jesus) and I SHOULD NOT CARE WHAT PEOPLE THINK. 
I still care somewhat.  I’ve put aside many affectations, and the spirits causing me such fear departed when I had bloody diarrhea and  bloody vomiting last month and the demon of UNWORTHINESS was cast from me. But, I have to get to the point where I don’t care who thinks what at all, and where I RECOGNIZE that the people who badmouth me are not my enemies.
 They are prisoners of war and they can’t control it when AN AGENT TAKES OVER THEIR BODY AND FIRES  BULLETS AT NEO IN THE SUBWAY JUST BEFORE HE PICKS THEM OUT OF THE AIR AND CRUSHES THEIR HEAD WITH HIS HEEL.  OR rather, SHE DOES.  My enemy is the demons.  Not the bullets.
Those zombie-flesh-bags they choose to inhabit are in need of rescue.  Does anyone dare to go with me?

2:05 pm

So far I got coming 3.5 million and a condo in Toronto.

I wonder if my dad wants to go double-or-nothing?

(STOP.  3.5 million INCLUDING the condo in Toronto and minus sundry campaign donations which I would have to look up.)

——————————-

2:04 pm

If Dad’s mind doesn’t work as I say, then I beg some acquaintance of his to answer a couple questions.
(There’s nothing there, right?  He’s filled only with his need to be SEEN AS VIRTUOUS.  He has no desire to become so.)
He knows George and he knows me.
My dad knows EVERYBODY’S chinks.
He plays one of us against another, with double-dips and double-speak.
Dad knew EXACTLY what he was doing.
(EXCEPT THE PART ABOUT MAKING ME BECOME NUTS.)
He just made me tough.
(In Jesus.  I can do NOTHING on my own; I am VERY DEFICIENT.  About that Dad was correct.)

And also, when these discussions arise:  NOBODY CHOOSES TO REMEMBER THAT I BET HIM MY FAITH AGAINST HIS FAKE RELIGION.  WE MADE A BET.

————-

1:57 pm

“You WHISPER his songs.  I WON’T WHISPER WHAT I FEEL!”

“I WANT TO SCREAM LIKE HE DOES.  I WON’T LIE ANYMORE!”

Mikhail Baryshnikov in White Nights_ So moving dance scene

 

1:35 pm

“We can’t all leave and let you stay here because who would pay the taxes?”

BUT THE TAXES ARE IN ARREARS ANYWAY AND MY SONS DON’T BELIEVE THEIR GRANDFATHER SAW THIS COMING.  THEY’RE STILL CUTE KIDS.

No fuel for heat, no taxes, loads of exercise equipment and he hasn’t used the bowflex even once that I know of but it sure holds junk nice.

My sons are DECEIVED.

(I just tried to look in George’s bedroom to see if there was really junk on his bowflex but he locked the door.  I wonder what he has in there?  I wonder why he thinks I might disturb it.  He must have LOTS OF MONEY if he can shop so much and STILL BUY A HOUSE FOR HIMSELF.)

(BUT, he won’t go now, and he wouldn’t for these 4 years since I shut down his drughouse and got a divorce.)

(I’m pretty sure there’s junk on the bowflex.  The junk is spilling out of his bedroom, down the stairs, and the living room is full.)

1:20 pm

They all went to a football game with my brother the golden birthday-boy.

I was wrong and I’m repenting.

My life is not about me; it is ABOUT SEEING THAT JESUS GETS EVERYTHING HE DIED TO OBTAIN.

If He wants me to take a month off from my VERY IMPORTANT WORK and get locked up on a dude ranch with no computer, then that’s his business.

—-

“Please forgive me for hating George and my dad.  Please deliver Isaac from the demons and give Josh a reason to believe in you.  Amen.”

I gave them a great sheet of clovers to give my brother for a card and they signed it but left it on the counter.  They didn’t forget a lot of things when I went along.

 

12:41 pm

“Dear Jesus, it LOOKS LIKE YOU’RE LATE!!

WHY CAN’T I BE WITH OTHER PEOPLE WHO LOVE YOU EVER???

THESE UNBELIEVERS ARE MANIPULATING AND CONTROLLING ME AND THAT’S WRONG AND THEY SAY THEY BELIEVE IN FREEDOM!  PLEASE HELP ME!!!!

I’LL NEVER NOT BELIEVE WHAT YOU TELL ME!  PLEASE HELP ME NEVER NOT BELIEVE YOUR WORD!  MY FAMILY NEEDS YOU!!!!

 

THEY WILL WANT TO KNOW WHAT YOU SAY WHEN TIMES ARE ROUGH AND THEY CAN’T BELIEVE THEIR OWN MINDS BECAUSE OF THE MIND-CONTROL!!!!”

 

 

 

 

————-

David invited George and the boys for his birthday.
Isn’t that special?
My sons INSIST that I go to a ‘center’.
They recognize that I have made lots of progress, and every time I do, they shoot me down.  They think an ex-mental-patient can get good jobs and have apartments and lives.  They were given a responsibility too big for them when my dad had me GIVE THEM MY HOUSE.  ALWAYS A SCENE!  I CANNOT BE HAPPY OR THEY WON’T be able to EVER LIFT THEIR ASSES FROM THE COUCH!  IT is all my fault and they can’t tell me what I’m doing wrong.  Point is, THEY WANT ME TO BELIEVE SOMETHING DIFFERENT AND THEY WANT TO CANNONBALL MY DESTINY.
Josh said if I do a ‘session’ at a ‘center’ and I STILL BELIEVE IN THE ELECTRONIC TORTURE I HAVE METICULOUSLY DOCUMENTED FOR THREE AND A HALF YEARS, then I can come back.   And he’ll leave.  So I said yes.
He said if my faith is so strong twinkie-land shouldn’t bother me.
They do not believe in Jesus.
I agreed to go wherever Josh says.
I respect him.
George got up and walked away halfway through the ‘family meeting’.
He can’t deal with long conversations.
He’s got my house and the rags of my former relationships.
So, I guess I’m going to Boulder.
I really loved being here this summer; God taught me a lot and freed me from some demons.
September is my favorite month here.
My dad will chuckle.

He will also burn in hellfire and brimstone unless he repents and tells the truth about what he did to me and this family.  

DEAR GOD, FORGIVE ME FOR HATING THAT EVIL MAN!!!!@
—-
I’m trying hard not to curse them.
I wish I could just get away from them.
——————————-

10:50 am

‘I was sent a video of my wife having sex’: Ashley Madison members and their heartbroken spouses reveal the devastating impact last year’s hack had on their lives

  • In 2015  the details of 30 million Ashley Madison users were leaked
  • A year on Channel 4 meets some of those who fell victim to the breach 
  • Documentary meets those who were exposed by the hackers
  • Partners opened up about their families being destroyed by the site

(The SITE destroyed their families…how did the SITE get the information to do it?)

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-3766961/Ashley-Madison-members-reveal-devastating-impact-year-s-hack.html#ixzz4J13AbzGk
Follow us: @MailOnline on Twitter | DailyMail on Facebook

 

10:45 am

7:50 am

Isaac asked last night if I wanted him to go to court with me.  I said, “ARE YOU KIDDING?  So you can have me locked up again?  I don’t trust you.”

BUT GOD, just now in the hot tub told me I should ask him and he said yes.

The light switch in the bathroom has reversed!  NOW, when you flip the switch UP…the light goes off; down means the light is on.  It’s been the other way since I was a child.  This is truly weird.

A Narcissist is always many steps ahead of the game with their manipulation, triangulation, lies and betraying people – unfortunately nobody knows that they are playing this game with a Narcissist!

6:59 am

(1 Timothy 5:8): “But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.” 

 –
(I have to go take a shower before court.)

Israeli tanks enter Gaza Strip, fire live rounds at Palestinian farmers

 

Palestinian sources say several Israeli battle tanks, escorting bulldozers, have entered the central part of the besieged Gaza Strip, and fired a number of shots at Palestinians gathering to stop the ravaging of farms.

The sources, speaking anonymously, said four Israeli tanks and two armored bulldozers advanced more than 150 meters into farming lands east of the Bureij refugee camp on Wednesday morning, and bulldozed them while unmanned aerial vehicles flew overhead, the International Middle East Media Center reported.

They added that the soldiers also fired many live rounds to keep Palestinian farmers out of their own lands during the invasion.
 

An open letter to Evangelical supporters of Israel

Addressing Christian Zionists who brush aside the occupation by saying, ‘it’s complicated,’ an American Evangelical writes: ‘Injustice is only complicated to those who don’t suffer from it.’

 In my eyes, Tigers for Israel and the Princeton Committee on Palestine were akin to College Republicans and Democrats. Both had valid points and interesting arguments, but no one was right or wrong. Both groups also seemed very emotional, and I wasn’t one to get swept away with radical types.
Then I graduated and came to the Middle East.
“It can’t be easy to stake your life on something and see it flipped inside out, I thought, remembering an Israeli friend who’d changed his thinking after a gap year in Tibet. “The Tibetans live there with their language, religion and culture. It’s all Tibetan,” he’d told me, face wrenched, words slow. “But the people in control are all Chinese. Another race is in charge. I thought that was so wrong. Then I felt upset, because like, you know, it was sort of, it reminded me of what we have here.”

6:49 am

The Fundamentalist movement rejected Modernism, intending to stand by the faith’s original tenets.
Unfortunately, as we will now see, Fundamentalism was itself infiltrated and hijacked, consistent with the Rothschild strategy of funding both sides of wars. 

Scofield started out as a crooked Kansas lawyer and politician, working under the auspices of John J. Ingalls, a major figure in corrupt Kansas politics. In 1881, theAtchison Globe reported:

C. I. Schofield [sic], who was appointed United States District Attorney for Kansas in 1873, and who turned out worse than any other Kansas official, is now a Campbellite preacher in Missouri. His wife and two children live in Atchison. He contributes nothing to their support except good advice.2

That same year, the Topeka Daily Capital picked up the story:

Cyrus I. Schofield, formerly of Kansas, late lawyer, politician and shyster generally, has come to the surface again, and promises once more to gather around himself that halo of notoriety that has made him so prominent in the past. The last personal knowledge that Kansans have had of this peer among scalawags, was when about four years ago, after a series of forgeries and confidence games he left the state and a destitute family and took refuge in Canada. For a time he kept undercover, nothing being heard of him until within the past two years when he turned up in St. Louis, where he had a wealthy widowed sister living who has generally come to the front and squared up Cyrus’ little follies and foibles by paying good round sums of money. Within the past year, however, Cyrus committed a series of St. Louis forgeries that could not be settled so easily, and the erratic young gentleman was compelled to linger in the St. Louis jail for a period of six months.3

However, court cases against Scofield were inexplicably dropped. As Joseph M. Canfield, who is probably Scofield’s most thorough biographer, notes: “The very sudden dropping of the criminal charges without proper adjudication suggests that Scofield’s career was in the hands of someone who had clout . . .”4
What a twisted mess!  Israel is important, we’re supposed to pray always for peace in Jerusalem but Jesus warned us about fake Jews.
How can we know Truth?  Maybe ask Him for yourself?  
I think that’s actually His goal for permitting all this CONFUSION.
He wants a PERSONAL RELATIONSHIP WITH EACH OF US.
—-
“According to Scofield, his conversion to Christ occurred in 1879 in his “St. Louis law office.” However, he was not a member of Missouri’s bar, and no record exists of his practicing law in that state5—in fact, he was habitually on the run from the law.”

6:27 am

“Lord, please open the eyes of my siblings and my mom so they can be saved from what is coming this next year.”

6:12 am

The Silent Treatment.
 
I grew up with the silent treatment, sometimes it lasted for months.  This time it’s lasted for seven years.  And naturally, when the patriarch decides he’s gonna pout, everybody has to suffer…and pretend his sensitive ego is  worth pacifying at the expense of four other lives with needs and value of their own.
FEAR and LONELINESS are the outstanding characteristics of my childhood in this house. I wrote in my first book that I hated this house but I love it now.    I choose not to hate anything anymore and I rejoice on the deck feeling the wind off the lake, but also this house has become symbolic to my life-long struggle against the dreaded Silent Treatment.  
No answers.

You never know what you did wrong, but you KNOW YOU SCREWED UP.

Never accountability to another person.
Never accountability for harmful behaviors.
Never attempts to soothe another person’s misery.  
Rewarding and punishing with no factual premise but rather to TRIANGULATE PEOPLE or to gain an advantage in some (often) unfathomable way.
Always disregard for laws with perpetual cheating and stealing.
Always lies.  Just for fun.

No believer in Jesus, even a BABY would believe that any of these characteristics describe an elderly, life-long Christian.

Yet, we all did.
Others pretend they still do.

Baptists SERIOUSLY do not believe the BIBLE.

Revelation 22:14 Blessed are they that do his commandments, that they may have right to the tree of life, and may enter in through the gates into the city.

15 For without are dogs, and sorcerers, and whoremongers, and murderers, and idolaters, and whosoever loveth and maketh a lie.

4:56 am

The Clergy Response Team falls under the umbrella series of programs known as National Voluntary Organizations Active in Disaster (NOVAD) which is a non-profit, member organization which shares knowledge and resources throughout a disaster. The organization helps to prepare, respond, recover and to mitigate the damage caused by some unknown disaster which lies presumably in the future of humanity.

Amazingly, NOVAD claims to be a faith-based coalition which is structured as a non-governmental organization and operates on a national scale and is supported by tax dollars funneled to DHS.

Instantly, Bible believing Christians should smell a rat. Since when, in the modern era, has the federal government ever sponsored organized religion? The answer is not since well before the advent of the atheist activist, Madalyn Murray O’Hair, who was successful in banning prayer in the public schools in 1963. Then why would the government suddenly fund and support a “faith-based organization” on a national scale?  The simple answer is that Homeland Security is seeking to control our churches and ministers, before the impending train wreck comes to fruition inside of America.

Dave Hodges, more at:   http://beforeitsnews.com/police-state/2016/08/the-new-world-order-has-taken-over-my-church-3543.html

4:51 am

I’m ruminating about going to court.  That same court locked me up in January and poisoned me:

Dear Judge and esteemed opposing counsel,
If I had two thousand dollars (I don’t know the amount, the original debt was maybe that much, it’s from 10-12 years ago) I would proffer it immediately.  (Well, probably after asking for a reduction in the amount you will accept.)  However, I am penniless and I own nothing and am essentially homeless.  
Several years ago I ran for office and my rich father objected, and since then I have lost every relationship with EVERY SINGLE PERSON I LOVED, and I lost everything of material value in my life.  My father would have been DELIGHTED to have me in office–IF I COULD BE BOUGHT.  Instead, now I have NOTHING…except my integrity. 
I’d be happy to give you money and I’d even sign something saying I would,  but I don’t earn any money since I spend every waking hour working to restore the relationships that have been stolen from me.
I will not fake it though, and that’s why I work towards this and not towards earning money.    I DEMAND THAT MY FAMILY SEE TRUTH.  They can hate me then if they choose.

…or maybe not…

12 But before all these, they shall lay their hands on you, and persecute you, delivering you up to the synagogues, and into prisons, being brought before kings and rulers for my name’s sake.

13 And it shall turn to you for a testimony.

14 Settle it therefore in your hearts, not to meditate before what ye shall answer:

15 For I will give you a mouth and wisdom, which all your adversaries shall not be able to gainsay nor resist.

16 And ye shall be betrayed both by parents, and brethren, and kinsfolks, and friends; and some of you shall they cause to be put to death.

17 And ye shall be hated of all men for my name’s sake.

18 But there shall not an hair of your head perish.
(Luke 21)
“Dear God, I love sleeping.  I wish I never had to wake up.  Thank you that I can sleep after all these years, and thank you that waking up is WAY BETTER than it was.”

“Oh, help me to remember the HELL of being in the grip of electronic torment that never stops!  ONLY IT DID!  DEAR GOD, thank you! GIVE ME PATIENCE AND COURAGE AND WISDOM AND GRACE AND STAMINA AND RESOURCES AND OPPORTUNITY to STOP THE TORTURE FOR OTHERS!”

“Please, ease my heart about this day and about my sons.  PLEASE allow me to represent you in holiness and not consider myself. Please, please may I see fruit for my unending labor?  PLEASE SAVE MY SONS FROM THE EVIL OF LIES!  Please, heal their suffering hearts, and George’s.  I know you can.  You fix me over and over again.  Then I am attacked.  VICTORY.  Please, show the victory. Please, show the triumph over those who intend to STOP THE TRUTH!  Please, may I have joy?”
“Your joy is my strength and I was growing stronger!  Don’t let me falter!  Don’t let the attacks of my sons stop my momentum. THEY’VE NEVER EVEN SEEN A LEGITIMATELY JOYFUL PERSON!  I shouldn’t hold it against them that they don’t believe me.”  
“I am so joyful when I am not around them.  They are merely better, when I am gone.  I need a place to be, and we all need more of you.  Please give them the gift of repentance and exceeding joy?  Please, restore these relationships that were ripped from us!  They’d like me now if they ever gave me enough time to feel accepted.  I’ve been rejected so thoroughly I can’t influence anybody with your Truth.  Please, turn the tables on the enemy’s plans against me and my family.  Please, SHOW US YOUR GLORY!  Amen.”
 —–

4:16 am

The New World Order Has Taken Over My Church

As this Sunday comes and goes, I will not be attending church. With a scant few exceptions the church has been invaded in the same manner that our Constitution has been obliterated.

Refusing to Stand Up to Evil

As the country struggles to come to grips with the illegal alien invasion, which threatens our economy, our collective health and our national sovereignty, we are unable to look to our churches to provide the leadership needed in this time of crisis.

(I contacted this Dave Hodges several years ago about my evidence of ELECTRONIC TORTURE AND GANGSTALKING OF INNOCENT CITIZENS and he suggested I go to a pastor.  I’m glad he’s realizing more.)

Read at:   http://beforeitsnews.com/police-state/2016/08/the-new-world-order-has-taken-over-my-church-3543.html

———

4:04 am

Today is my brother’s birthday.

His daughter sent us a letter asking for money for some sporting thing.

She’s very nice, she probably doesn’t realize I am destitute and that her dad even refuses to let me sleep in a surplus hotel room.  I wish I could see her sometimes.


I go to court today.

I’ve been frightened about this but after yesterday this doesn’t seem so daunting.  It’s amazing how instructive is repeatedly realizing that having no love is WAY MORE IMPORTANT than having no money or being summoned before the authorities.  God knows what he’s doing with me.  I’m not liking it yet.

 

8/31/16

9:00 pm

Cops Now Can Use DNA To Create ‘wanted’ posters from DNA

8:51 pm

“Your struggling to get away from this man who’s trying to kill you IS MAKING HIM ANGRY.”

“You’re making him mad with your efforts to resist.”

  “That’s the reason he’s killing you.”

“YOU ARE THE CAUSE OF HIS ANGER.”

Misapplied Pressure in Abuse Cases

—-

“It seems to me pressure is brought to bear far too often on the victim of abuse – pressure to accommodate and forgive the abuser – rather than application of pressure on the abuser to change his ways or else.”

“To my shame, I admit I have difficulty articulating a message directed toward the perpetrator of abuse that communicates the depth of his evil and depravity, much less the eternal consequences of his ways.”

“I’ve witnessed few examples of upright men applying spiritual, intellectual and physical pressure on abusers, yet have witnessed countless examples of pressure placed on victims to “forgive and forget”. This has got to change.”

8:41 pm

“Saul was AFRAID of David, because the Lord was with him, and He was departed from Saul.”

“Yeah, that happens, Mr. Narc…Mr. and Mrs. COVERT narc…who love to hide behind the cloak of Christianity,

when all the while the SPIRIT OF GOD long ago departed.”

(Smackintosh)

7:29 pm

Ramsey Orta, Activist Who Filmed Eric Garner’s Death, Needs Your Help

“The man who filmed the police killing of Eric Garner, Ramsey Orta, is now heading to jail for four years on unrelated charges—making him the only person at the scene of Garner’s killing who will serve jail time,” TIME reported last summer. “Last week Orta took a plea deal on weapons and drug charges. He says he has been repeatedly arrested and harassed by cops since he filmed the fatal police chokehold nearly two years ago.”

See more here:   http://www.activistpost.com/2016/08/ramsey-orta-activist-who-filmed-eric-garners-death-needs-your-help.html

He Did This For Me♥

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