7/11/16

6:47 PM

I DON’T WANT TO HATE YOU LIARS WHO PRETEND TO BE CHRISTIANS. YOU’LL GO TO HELL SO I SHOULD LOVE YOU NOW. NO TXT I’M CAST OUT

6:20 pm

Isaac says I must leave tonight.

They hate me because their dad is retarded and they believe I caused it.

I will sleep in my car.

Aloho.

Today is my mom and dad’s anniversary.  Hoo-rah. Also my cousin’s birthday.


7/11/16

Eagles are ENORMOUS.

4:41 pm

Yesterday my mom and dad gave George some photocopies of records of when his ancestors were baptized at their church.  He was giddy.  I knew I had seen them before.  OF COURSE.  I found the ORIGINALS in the attic of the house my dad grew up in and no previous owner would clean, and I GAVE THEM TO DAD.  Now he’s using them like he actually gives a shit.  He makes me puke.  He does that all the time.
 We have shopped for MONTHS and SAVED MONEy to buy him presents and he does not even say THANK-YOU but in a couple years he GIVES THEM BACK TO US WHEN HE CLEANS HIS BASEMENT.  PRICK-PERSONIFIED.  There is nothing truthful or kind about my dad.  Mama has lived with him for half a century. There is nothing of her former self identifiable.  They’re putrid people!
George doesn’t remember a thing.

4:27 pm

THIS CANNOT POSSIBLY BE FOR-REAL.

I CAN’T LIVE IN THIS WORLD MUCH LONGER.

Orange County Orlando Police “Grave Dancing” To The Harlem Shake

4:10 pm

AIN’T GONNA LOSE YOU

Brett Dennen
(I wrote this song with my left hand one time.  It was a commitment and an oath.)
(I wrote it to Adam.  He’s the best thing I ever saw, except Jesus.  They look alike.)
“Tell the whole world I’ve gone insane…but I ain’t gonna lose you.”
(My hair looks exactly like that.  Josh called it ‘Leprechaun.”)

“They can run me out of town.  They can tie me up, call me a clown, but I ain’t gonna lose you.”

Brett Dennen – Ain’t Gonna Lose You lyrics

4:00 pm

Twenty minutes and maybe I’ll see another miracle.

I didn’t mean to not love George!  I didn’t know the difference.  I thought love was a lot of hard work and headaches.  That’s what I always was to my folks, and they said they loved me.  I thought love was deciding what was best for your love-ee and FORCING HIM TO DO THAT.  George didn’t mean to not love me.  He’s just selfish because he doesn’t like a challenge.  I do.  The Baptists lied to us both.

3:54 pm

I connected with George one time over Bruce Hornsby on ‘Austin City Limits’.  (I could count the number of times we connected over twenty-five years, and very few of them involved music.)  This concert was great; we saw it by accident; Isaac was a baby and we were both in love with him.  We had a charming house.  I had migraines and panic attacks so I couldn’t enjoy the house but I managed to have the carpeting ripped up and ordered new curtains.  George was between jobs a lot.  We LOVED this concert.  We both did.  Isaac was a charming baby.

(Different concert.  The video from ACL was disappointing.)
He’s playing Tupac.

Bruce Hornsby – The Way It Is – 7/24/1999

– Woodstock 99 West Stage (Official)

(George has a shirt just like that.  He doesn’t wear shirts with collars anymore.)

3:35 pm

 

3:25 pm

My hair is gonna look like this small singing-person’s hair.  My legs will be longer.

Black Oak Arkansas – Jim Dandy (Live)

(Also I’d like a butt like the guy in the ecru-fringe-number.)

3:17 pm

Ry Cooder Little Sister

No Jim-Dandy.

 

YOU KNOW WHAT?  I USED A PEJORATIVE TERM THE OTHER DAY.  I REPENTED.  I CALLED A GUY A ‘JIM-BOB’.  IT JUST CAME OUT OF ME.  I REPENTED.  I SAID THAT.

ANYWAY.

ISAAC BEAT ME UP (figuratively, this time…) for judging a family-group.  He thought I was being superior (and I was and it was wrong…) but.  Later I got to thinking about my dad and his brother, the elder-but-lesser psychopath of the GOLDTHORPES.  Robert and Jim.

IT TAKES TWO GOLDTHORPE MEN TO comprise  EVEN a single ONE– JIM-BOB.

 

 

2:09 pm

I’ve told you reeders about this for four years.

Whatever.

Northern Strike: Michigan to Host Massive Drill with Thousands of Troops

“From all across the globe…”

2:04 pm

“A young person who is not restless is an old person.”  (The pope who speaks Spanish.)
“Only restless people are fully alive.”  (Random)
I’m not even surprised anymore.
I wrote this morning about DC.
Then I hear the POPE of all popery, the last pope EVEN BY HIS OWN FAITH’S DOGMA…
this tiny pope.
They kill babies, or they don’t even make cardinal.
If they only RAPE BABIES they can’t find their way out of Minneapolis.
The pope is selling T-shirts.
The pope is selling T-shirts.
The pope has access to the riches of the richest organization on the planet…
and the pope is selling T-shirts.
🔴WARNING TO ALL CHRISTIANS 🔴TOGETHER RESET DC IS A TARGET FOR CHRISTIANS
(If you buy this Catholic T-shirt,  you will no longer be restless.  So says the pope.)

1:51 pm

This looks just like a gypsy wagon on the inside.  I even like the color.

Old School Bedford Truck Converted Into Tiny House Truck

(I’d turn off the sound…)

1:03 PM

I’m not even posting the link and I didn’t read the article. 
That sentence alone is ambitious enough…

Leo Sayer – Long Tall Glasses (I Can Dance)

This song is the gospel.

(These videos are me.)

(I’ll dance at my wedding though, just like an angel.)

(OMG, it was so terrible!  I thought I was communicating with Adam and I sent this song knowing he would understand it in a particular fashion…I got a message that asked,
“DO YOU JUST WANNA DANCE OR DO YOU WANNA FUCK”?)
(THAT WASN’T ADAM.)
(SO I KNEW I HAD ANOTHER FAN.)

12:07 pm

High noon.

George is awake.

My sons went swimming at Round Lake.

I’m making steak and eggs.

I buy beef now, with my welfare card.

Fried potatoes.  George doesn’t want any.

The FEDEX guy brought a real big package.

I walked 1.8 miles around the block this morning.

Also I prayed the back-road to Seney and I prayed it back.

The bathroom that three of us use every single day has a broken shower and a broken toilet which is too small anyway. 

We have no heat in this house, regularly.

George says he’s going to buy a solar panel for the toy electric boat motor.
My dad convinced my sons that I AM THE PROBLEM.
George received a brand new bow case.
He has not gone hunting for a very long time.

11:47 am

Rand Paul says ‘astounding’.  I thought doctors learned not to use that word in medical school.  It’s one of my favorites. People do not like superlatives because they’re afraid of commitment;  and they don’t like ‘astounding’ because it means they DIDN’T KNOW EVERYTHING BEFORE THEY LEARNED THIS ‘PRESENT TRUTH.’
HUMANITY IS ASTOUNDING.
IF YOU ARE NOT ASTOUNDED YOU ARE POSTURING AND IGNORING THE TRUE TRUTH BY THINKING ABOUT ALL THE PEOPLE LOOKING AT YOU AS YOU WISELY STROKE YOUR CHIN.
‘ASTOUNDING’ DOES NOT MEAN YOU ARE STUPID.
‘ASTOUNDING’ DOES MEAN THAT YOU DID NOT KNOW EVERYTHING.
‘ASTOUNDING’ IS TO BE EMBRACED AS A LIFESTYLE, OR A NON-ASTONISHMENT-TYPE WILL JUST PRETEND HE’S THE SMARTEST PERSON ON THE PLANET AND NOTHING SURPRISES HIM UNTIL SOME [FICTIONAL] THREAT CRUSHES HIS SKULL AND WE BURY HIM IN HIS LAND ROVER.

THIS TIME IN HISTORY IS ALSO ASTOUNDING…

11:32 am

When Jesus ran for judge everybody voted for him.  Now that he’s taken the bench,  Baptists are having second thoughts. I’m guessing the pope isn’t liking it much either.
“I didn’t wanna buy this dress!  Da Dev-O  made me buy this dress!”
“When [da DEV-O]  took the wheel, I tried to kick him.”
“I CAN’T KICK HIM AND STEP ON THE BRAKE AT THE SAME TIME!”

Flip Wilson on The Ed Sullivan Show

“Then he pulled a gun…and made me sign your name to a check.”
——–

God is about to light a fire beneath the church!!!!!!

(In her dream her ‘husband’ was going to cut firewood, dressed like a lumberjack.  I just posted about my struggles with firewood from three years ago.  Fascinating synchronicities  now, for those with eyes to see.)
 –

11:18 am

I find it hard to value Christian journalists who report that ‘things are spiraling out of control’.  That’s a fallacy, and I serve TRUTH who has never, ever been even a tiny bit out of control.  He’s wild.  But He’s ALWAYS intentional and He always means the best for EVERY SINGLE PERSON and sometimes that BEST for an individual is…to DIE.

If a person is incorrigibly unrepentant, premature death will ensure that he does not harm EVEN MORE PEOPLE’S ETERNAL DESTINY, and thereby be punished more harshly.  Even if Hell did not exist, technology has accomplished that the human soul is no longer permitted to even die.  That not if the PTB do not wish it.  For God to lay wicked-people down more gently will be appreciated by those who must watch loved ones jump into that volcano.

God, in his righteous and long-awaited and ultimately deserved judgment, doth not forget mercy.

Sittin’ On The Dock Of The Bay | Playing For Change

 

We played this song in Jazz-Band, high school.  The superlative trombonist checked my memory a few years ago, as I told my Truth about my targeting.  As the song ended, at the Credit Union Annual Meeting in the gymnasium of Tahquamenon Area Schools in 19-seventy seven or eight, or maybe six, I played the flute as everybody packed up and left the stage.  He thought that was cool.  This time, looks like I’m the only one leaving.  He knows I haven’t been crazy even a single day since before the book was published.  He’s been silent, but he knows God has put him in this place for such a time as this.  He is consecrated.

My dear perfect-pitch friend is royalty, earthly and Heavenly.  He has dug deeply into the lives of others who had no recourse.  He has disobeyed orders to attend the hearths of hungry Mexicans and ghosts.  He is not afraid, but I presume he is very tired.  He has another battle.  He is man enough because he has allowed Jesus to become God-enough.  Welcome to the front.  I’ll do whatever you say is smart.  Nobody smart here, they want me dead.  God bless you.

 

7:19 am

Is this part of the number or am I just vamping?  ANYBODY?

 

7:00 am

0—————-h
posted
toasted
we’re gonna see the pricks get roasted
not a rappa
but evah-aftah
the dudes’a  m’  free-style with laftah…
Isaac hates it
Jord-da-man he overrates it
but’da mama raps o all the beats
of heresy and truth despite
we know, it’s confusic
she don’t like music
unless’s a mighty prayer runsa thru it…
“…and I only found one four-leaf clover and she found over a thousand since May 20.  Wah.”
Breakdown, dead ahead. 
We DO NOT COMPARE OURSELVES WITH OTHERS. 
We ask, “JESUS, WHAT DO YOU THINK OF ME?  WHAT SHOULD I THINK OF ME?  Please remove ALL CONCERNS for what deceived people think of me.”
(Then Beautiful Jesus will tell you you’re the greatest thing He ever made and He wants to make you again…[Google:  Bride of Christ]  and then, in the BRILLIANT LIGHT of HIS love,  you are as beautiful as He.  And trembling in expectation.  It’s not sex.  Sex was created to show us a glimpse of oneness with God.  That is what we were ALL created for.)
I’m not Wonder-woman.  I JUST DO THINGS LIKE JESUS SAYS TO DO and it’s ALWAYS better than other people do.  (Not my problem.  Grow a pair.)  Except Adam.  I LIKED HIM BECAUSE HE COULD DO EVERYTHING BETTER THAN I.  Even drive a car and he didn’t even have a license.  EXCEPT I PRAYED BETTER BACK THEN MANY YEARS AGO THE LAST TIME I EVER SAW HIM.  I STILL trust him more than anybody I ever met.  God told me to.
 Also, ‘HE COULD DO EVERYTHING BETTER THAN I.’  That is a man I could follow, and following him came naturally even into the jungle of the evil my family has inhabited since the day he learned my password.  When you see a man with a cup of water, you follow him.

Mark 14:11-13King James Version (KJV)

11 And when they heard it, they were glad, and promised to give him money. And he sought how he might conveniently betray him.

12 And the first day of unleavened bread, when they killed the passover, his disciples said unto him, Where wilt thou that we go and prepare that thou mayest eat the passover?

13 And he sendeth forth two of his disciples, and saith unto them, Go ye into the city, and there shall meet you a man bearing a pitcher of water: follow him.

 

6:25 am

I never wanted to go to DC.  I mean, I’ve wanted to go there but I never wanted to LIVE AND WORK THERE.  It’s become a podunk.  DC does not even have the highest rental rates in the nation.  And they call themselves a ‘capitol’?  Did I spell that right?

——————————————–
What is ‘Capital’

1. Financial assets or the financial value of assets, such as cash.
2. The factories, machinery and equipment owned by a business and used in production.

“Capital” can mean many things. Its specific definition depends on the context in which it is used. In general, it refers to financial resources available for use. Companies and societies with more capital are better off than those with less capital.

——
Full Definition of capitol. 1 a : a building in which a state legislative body meets b : a group of buildings in which the functions of state government are carried out. 2 capitalized : the building in which the United States Congress meets at Washington.
Wow.  Google-god says that there’s no such thing as the nation’s capitol.  It’s just a bunch of buildings and money.  I don’t think I can worship there anymore.
I prayed there.  My sons and I went to DC and stood in the middle of the ground floor of the Capitol(al) (yet to be determined) building and claimed the country back for Jesus.  We stood also, at the same time, in the geographical exact middle of DC…and also in the middle of the SATANIC MASONIC PLANS.  I didn’t know I put my sons on the line but that’s what happened.  I’m so glad Jesus is smarter than Manley P. Hall or Glenn Wilson or Robert Goldthorpe.  I’m glad He loves me and I’m glad He will be, in and of himself, THE NEW GOVERNMENT.  AMEN.  “Holy.  Holy, Lord.  Thank you for giving me the very great privilege of announcing your new Congress.  Blessed are you Jesus!  And even much more bless-ed as we proceed with the revolution!  Love, love to all.  Amen.”
I prayed in DC another time.  I went to a MAJOR prayer-meeting the same time that I went to Ron Paul’s office and received his endorsement for my Congressional candidacy and also had a vision about Adam who I BARELY KNEW AT ALL.  Many DC stories we’ll tell, when the ground has been taken.  Nary a shot, not a flame, nothing of destructive intent.  Just love and joy and hope and peace.  And TRUTH.  My betroth-ed Truth.  You’re gonna love Him.  (There will be blood.  Just not there, I think.  “Jesus, please give me details and don’t let me say EVEN ONE THING that does not originate in you.  ❤️  I’m so glad we’re moving on.”)  (“I’d say ‘finally’ but that would sound ungrateful and I am ever so grateful for you.  Also for your angels.”)

courtier

[kawr-tee-er, kohr-]
Spell Syllables
noun

1.

a person who is often in attendance at the court of a king or otherroyal personage.

2.

a person who seeks favor by flattery, charm, etc.
A couple weeks ago my cousin emailed me and signed, “Take care.”  I almost cried.  I DO NOT RECEIVE CONCILIATORY MESSAGES EXCEPT TRANSDERMALLY AND THROUGH THE CLOUD.

 

 

5:53 am

I know the goons just laugh and laugh at me.  A whole bunch of new formatting buttons showed up.  I can’t change spacing, margins, fonts, nothing.  Then I can.  Then I can’t.

If Isaac spent ten minutes looking at my drafts and comparing them to WHAT SHOWS UP ON MY POSTS AND EMAILS…he would know I have an ally.  He would then wonder, “Who could be assisting my mom?  Who could have given her hope all these years while I and my grandfather and my dad were trying to kill her and deposit her body at some New-age funny farm”?  WHO, INDEED?

GOD TOLD ME I WOULD DANCE ON ADAM’S TONGUE.  (Which I took to mean his ‘words’ since I’ve never seen his tongue dance in any other capacity, and also I had a vision of myself in a ball-gown, very tiny and dancing in his mouth.  I sat down by his teeth and took notes.)

 PLEASE, LOOK AND LIVE, young gentlemen of the Goldthorpe Realm.  Grandpa is passe’.  TRUTH HAS USURPED HIS (formerly) bullshit-throne.  THE KING IS DEAD!   LONG LIVE THE KING!!


HOOTY-HOOT!

——————–
Today is six months since my ‘loving’ family locked me up and had poisons administered to me BECAUSE THEY HATE THE TRUTH.  TRUTH is Jesus. Also, they say they like Him.

(That’s the REAL HOOTY-HOOT!)

5:29 am
Isaac believes that Jesus is a rapist so it’s terribly important that he understand who actually is responsible for what we experienced.
Then he can see how very much Jesus loves my dad, that he would ask his beloved {me} to tolerate a lot of evil attentions so he could be saved.  Jesus loves my dad very much.  He also loves Isaac and He’s never late.
Isaac says that Jesus is a rapist.
Isaac knows I was raped and he knows it also raped his entire family and his whole life.
He needs help.
I wish somebody loved Isaac and Josh enough to help them cope with what we’ve been through
instead of treating their family as though it were diseased for years and years and years.
Jesus does.  Also, He’s never late.
I used to believe that when God said He was ‘never late’ that He meant He would save me [again] in the nick of time.  That’s not much to look forward to.
I now believe that ‘never late’ refers to something EXTRAORDINARY AND WONDERFUL. 
Jesus wants amazing for us.  
He also loves rapists enough to let us go through difficulty for their benefit.
Of course, it doesn’t look that way to a person who through having suffered MUCH GRIEF AND HEARTACHE AND DECEIT believes Jesus to be a rapist.
 
Like a welcome summer rain, humor may suddenly cleanse and cool the earth, the air and you. Langston Hughes

 

7/10/16

10:19 pm

You know, when Isaac pushed me into the wall and knocked me out…George didn’t say a word.  After all, it was only LINDA and he wouldn’t want to mess with his good set-up here by ticking off the HOMEOWNERS by objecting to the PHYSICAL ASSAULT ON THEIR MOTHER.  Dad knew about the attack too, also the pastor and my mom and I don’t know who else.  NOT A WORD. THAT IS A CRIMINAL BATTERY and nobody gave a shit.  Because I USED TO BE EVERYBODY’S SCAPEGOAT.

9:35 pm

JESUS TEACHES US… How to overcome Failures – Message from July 9th, 2016
“I believe that when a person finds their niche, it is because they’ve worked extremely hard, weathered tremendous storms, and are blessed by God.
Trust Me With Your Children & Drink From the River of Life in My Heart
“You are in a human body, subject to forces beyond your understanding.  But not beyond MY POWER TO SHUT DOWN.”
“This is the healing place.”

9:01 pm

My first husband resented me a lot.  He was a toxic narcissist, also a pedophile who molested handicapped boys he was paid to tend.  He tortured me a lot, nicey-nice in public.  But, he resented me because of my skills, I think.  I was unusually good at traditionally female tasks…but I was also way better than he was with the guy-stuff. (That’s not saying much.)   I guess he was pretty terrible if even I recognized his abuse.
Does George resent me that way?  He said once that he thought our marriage started to fail when I stopped reading things to him that I studied, and explaining them.  But, that doesn’t actually sound like a marriage anyway, does it? A person feels guilty for wanting to know more, and to participate in the world.  But, that’s not really right.  We’ve each got our own destiny. Some of us want to find them.  Some of us will.

 

 –

8:15 pm

So anyhow, George knew FULLY WELL a lot of things he has since chosen to forget, and things for which he gained maximum attention and sympathy.  That’s passive-aggressive, right?   I never thought the Mona Lisa smiled at all.  “La Gioconda”.  We even get that wrong.  People think if they watch the Discovery channel we know stuff.  I guess we do.  We know WHATEVER IT IS THAT THOSE WHO PAY THE DISCOVERY CHANNEL WANT US TO KNOW.  Free market.
 —

7:17 pm

BLAST FROM THE PAST, 5/18/15
My dad understands, even if others do not, the tremendous favor I do him by exposing his foibles and my decent heartfelt requests.  He knows that if more people are watching us, the less the chance that one of us might ‘accidentally’ commit suicide.  I don’t suppose a lot of people think of that, but the hyper-vigilant consider every doorway out.  My dad is pathologically hyper-vigilant, and he’s seen fit to pass on the family skill-set.  I am no longer paranoid, thank you goons, but I AM EXTREMELY concerned about my family’s well-being.  I think we should all start talking, and we should take it on the road.  Why were you born?  For football games and shopping?  Let’s fix this world!  I also think there is a brief window of opportunity where hackers might be relevant.  They’re becoming obsolete!  We’re transhuman already and I’d like them to fix my world while they still can. “Repent!  For the Kingdom of Heaven is at Hand!” 
I do not like the manmade ‘hive mind’.  It’s uncomfortable, and I’d like to be a virus in the Borg but I can’t seem to replicate myself.  I wish I had the NSA on my team.  Or 2 hackers.  Two hackers and me and we got the earth back.  I feel like a recruiter.
———
return to birthday number gazillion, 2016–
The cousins arrived.  Isaac came to get me.  I put the dip in the oven a while ago.  I think they can figure this out?
—-
Again, to before, 1/2/14
JANUARY SECOND, THE YEAR OF OUR LORD TWO THOUSAND FOURTEEN…and not a shit was given.
God told me I will have respect within my family.  It made me really sad because if I have respect my father will not. I respected him so much I could not believe the evidence.  I do not want to see him broken as I have been.  But, brokenness is the only way to Heaven.
5:41 am
                         People treat truth like poison.  I do too sometimes.  Truth is noxious and it rocks your world.  I got a dose this morning.  I know I should no longer be embarrassed  when  people are listening to my thoughts.  (I remember days when my obscure brand of medicated body powder would appear on my facebook page seconds after I applied it under my belly fat.  I have had many reasons to be uncomfortable.)  Now, the NSA and I get along pretty well. Except for one thing, and this is the truth I had to swallow:  I am embarrassed because I need love.
                         I need somebody to hold me and tell me what to do.  I’ve had both, but never together.  It’s been years since I had either.  I am convinced however, that neither would be helpful without truth.  I’m sure I could find somebody to hold me and tell me what to do.  I’m more sure that I don’t want any more lies.
                         I gave my Christmas presents away.  I do not own many things anymore but I want even my things to be truthful. If I receive gifts, I’d like them to be given because somebody loved me.  When people don’t know you they don’t love you and that’s just how it is.  (Anybody who would buy a rhinestone watch for a gift doesn’t know too many people.)  I’m embarrassed that I want somebody to know me.  I’m embarrassed that I need approval and protection.  I’ve had to become so tough!  I don’t know myself anymore.  I am embarrassed that I require somebody to tell me who I am.  It takes a lot of personal truth to fend off lies about who you are.  It depletes your reservoir.  I do need somebody to speak truth into my life and my need is embarrassing.
                         So, the remote neural monitoring, that blessing from God and Keith Alexander.  I can pretty much deal with it except when I’m doing something embarrassing.  I can pick my nose or a zit.   I can sing even when I’m requested to stop by the voice-to-skull machine. (“You should hear what that sounds like from here!!!”)   I can quickly masturbate and assume I’ll be too boring to notice.  It took a lot of time and prayer to get to this point.  (You will know what I’m talking about before long.)  I get embarrassed when I need somebody to love me.  I’m supposed to be tough.  Also, embarrassment is a soulish thing and I’ve prayed that it be extinguished in my life.
                         I’ve defeated loneliness and self-pity through the Blood of Jesus, the holy one who always loves me.  I’ve struggled with more kinds of fear than should even exist.  God is faithful and God is love and I’m still here.  But, I’m not tough.  God gave me an invisible friend to make me act that way.  When I complained last year God said, “Haven’t I given you a loving heart companion?  Does he not persist?  Commune with the spirit for I enjoy your harmony.”  It helps when I do that but it is embarrassing to need him.
                          Even if you haven’t googled “electronic harassment” yet, there exists a great cloud of witnesses.  A lot of them love me and wish me to understand how foolish is embarrassment.  So I’ll attempt it:  I need somebody to love me and to ask about what happened to me.  I need love from some human being.  “I AM NEEDY, COULDN’T BE PROUDER, IF YOU CAN’T HEAR ME I’LL YELL A LITTLE LOUDER.”   Sigh.  That was a relief.

                         It’s really hard to be told to “get help” when that’s exactly what you’re trying to do.


Back to the birthday party.

All hail, King George.

Selah.

7:00 pm

The wind blew my hair in front of my eyes and it scared me.  It is unnaturally orange.

“Lord, please give George a very pleasant birthday, and don’t let me mess it up by talking about serious things, or any other way.  Amen.”


6:56 pm

 

I’m in my room writing; the cousins are due any minute.   I told Isaac and George that the coffee pot is ready to go, if his family wants coffee.  He asked if I were going to bed and I said I’d stop out to say hi but I thought it was past time when he began entertaining his own relatives.  I’ve even staged entire FUNERAL DINNERS…and George just walks away and won’t even talk to his peeps.  I mean it WAS THAT WAY.

I told my sons that it’s easier with George now that I realize he never loved me.  If you love a person you do NOT ALLOW THAT PERSON to believe that he/she is a piece of garbage.  You build him or her up.  If others tear her down, you stand up to them or at least, you tell her they are mistaken.  NOBODY WHO LOVES YOU LETS YOU BE TREATED LIKE I WAS TREATED BY EVEN MY OWN SONS, WHO BY THE WAY, do not recognize to this day the ENORMOUS AMOUNT OF WORK I did…because I married a man who did not love me and who still depends on me for a degree of normalcy.  They rolled their eyes and raised their eyebrows when I mentioned that I thought I had been punished FAR TOO LONG for an act I did not do.  They said, “We’ve all been hurt.  Let’s just go on…”
NO.
I was hurt and then THEY HURT ME TOO.
THEN THEY HURT ME AGAIN.
AND THEY CONTINUED TO HURT ME.
AND LAST WEEK EVEN THEY THREATENED TO CALL THE COPS ON ME.
BECAUSE I DID NOT HAVE AN AFFAIR WITH A MAN TO WHOM THEIR OWN FATHER OFFERED ME  ANYWAY!!!
(When you google ‘platonic’ you see a picture of Adam and me sitting side-by-side on a couch WATCHING A VIDEO OF A POLITICAL LECTURE.)
When you google stupid, well the entry is large…
We must recognize some truth here, and also my efforts on behalf of 1) GEORGE, 2) Isaac, 3) Josh, 4) Adam de ANGELI, DAD, DAVID, CHRIS, MOM and every Baptist I ever met and even Tom Casperson who will not make Washington listen, not under any circumstances and also EVERY OTHER PERSON WHO IS RAPED BY A FACELESS FORCE WITH A DIRTY MIND TOO.
 I must stand up straight in my community and be recognized as a lady and with approval of those I’ve served faithfully and well. I must be cleansed of the shadow of infidelity that Daddy thrust under my skirt, and I must know who watched it all with him.
I must have an APOLOGY IN THE NEWBERRY NEWS; DAD CAN PAY FOR IT BUT I’D PREFER IF MY SONS WROTE IT.  That way it might be spelled right.

 

4:18 pm

My hair looks terrible but at least when the men got back they noticed me for once.

Pasta salad with asparagus, parmesan, tomatoes and olives.  Baked beans with molasses and bacon.  Hamburgers.  I haven’t felt well all week; I hope the diners will cut me some slack for the paltry menu.  Birthday cake and ice cream,  which I haven’t purchased yet, but I had to sit down.  I vomited two times today.  Maybe I’m finished now.  I’m hearing very mean thoughts, prideful, self-pity thoughts.  I know they aren’t me.  I’m going to pick clovers and make them go away, with the help of Jesus.
I’m so happy when I’m away from George.  It’s been over four years since I filed for divorce and not only has he not gone anywhere, as a normal man would do, but also he supports my sons and dad who abuse me and lock me up.  If that doesn’t make him an abuser, it makes him an enabler-whore…also he’s got a nicer life than the married guys he works with.  AND, he doesn’t even have to put out.  Best of all possible worlds.
I remember when George turned thirty.  I used black balloons.  It was great.  When we got married he vowed to take me out to dinner once a week; it sure wasn’t my idea but it was even in the vows because my uncle Herb knew my first marriage was extremely terrible.  George likes the pasta salad a lot; I added cucumbers, at Josh’s suggestion; I think it works.  George picked up the ice cream. That’s a nice surprise.

2:09 pm

I’m taking a break.  George wants beans with hamburgers tonight.  I’m putting buttermilk glaze on the cake.  He’s going shooting this afternoon.

It was hard to learn that my entire childhood had been a textbook depiction of CHILD ABUSE and pathologically narcissistic parents.  Sexual assault was a REGULAR occurrence; I’ve been dealing with that.  I have learned so much; I was piled with WAY TOO MUCH RESPONSIBILITY as I cooked for my younger siblings and baby-sat even when they were very ill and I vacuumed and dusted and washed dishes…  (Mom always HAD A CLEANING LADY TOO.)   George got a pre-used wife-slave and he didn’t have to train me at all.
I don’t resent doing George’s birthday dinners and parties.  I DO RESENT, ‘God, forgive me’, that I am attacked for wanting to know the events for which I must prepare.  I got in trouble again,  because I wanted to know when I must serve Birthday-food, and to whom. I heard, “This family doesn’t make plans.”  I beg to tell you that’s so.  They can make that honest claim with no SHAME because… I DO MAKE PLANS, but I am to be unseen and unheard, and also SPONTANEOUSLY HOSPITABLE.  I spent my welfare card on groceries. George gave me some cash, so I got toilet paper and doggie biscuits too.  ALSO, I bought a package of red hair color.
They went in the hot tub together and reminisced about George-Birthdays-Past.  THEY HAD ME LOCKED UP ON MY BIRTHDAY.  I don’t resent doing George’s birthday dinners and parties…I just think that justice demands that I won’t do them forever. 
I have been a scapegoat-slave since David was born and I haven’t been responsible for any of that shit people piled on me.  What I know is that if people can’t bring you down to their level through condemnation, slander, intentional-corrupting-attempts…even INCARCERATION AND POISONING…THEN THEY TRY TO KILL YOU.  Unless they’re genuinely honest people, who instead choose to MAKE THEMSELVES MORE TRUTHFUL and FUNCTIONAL and KINDER TO THOSE WHO SERVE THEM.

1:33 pm

Shopping is accomplished and put away, the cake is cooling.

A lot of ash, rubbish, and indifference has accumulated, and a strong wind will be needed to blow it all away. It’s frightening! The Tower of Babel is upon us! Divine intervention is needed: Great upheavals are happening. What a bedlam! The minds of whole nations are in confusion. But in spite of the ferment I feel a certain consolation inside, a certain confidence. God still dwells in a part of the Christians. God’s people, people of prayer, still remain, and God in his all-goodness still tolerates us and will put everything in order.

(Famous priest from Mt. Aetna I lost the page.)

9:52 am

I didn’t see any four-leaf clovers this morning but the day is young.  I figure the intersection of the ‘create reality with your thoughts’ paradigm and my chosen God-Truths is this:  We CREATE when we believe that God means good things for us.  That’s why it is so important to the enemy that he keep us stymied by shame.  If we always feel that we’re terrible we won’t expect good things from God.

I told Isaac that yesterday I only had flashing-fears that he would lock me up again–two times.  And I gave the thoughts to Jesus and they went away.

Bump to the Top, from December, 2013:

12/12/13
1:21 pm
————————–
“Everybody happy” –day 7,653
 
                         God gave me a fire yesterday.  My treacherously lazy men protest.   It has been about 57 degrees in the living room, maybe 64 with a fire.  I hauled thirty pound logs as big as telephone poles.  They don’t burn hot, but they burn long.  I asked George to have Josh split some wood, then I heard him running the chainsaw.  So I asked him to teach Josh to run a chainsaw, and he said predictably, “I   Never   Even   Saw   A   Chainsaw   Until   I   Was   An   Adult.”  I asked if he didn’t want better for his boys and he said, predictably, “Fuck   You.”
 
                          The fire started at about 3 pm.  The charred logs had stopped smoking hours before, but suddenly they burst into flame.  God told me I was worth a fire.  I cried.  After what my parents did to me I haven’t been worth a thing to anybody on earth.  When I told George that God said I was worth a fire he said, “Then let God give you a fire.”  Then He did.  ‘Thank you God.’
                     ———–Back to the birthday, 2016.  Cake is baking.  I’m going shopping in Manistique.  George’s cousins and his aunt are coming tonight.————–

 

 

7:39 am

Dear NATO Secretary General

Petition for the hybrid threat of Electromagnetic Weapons.

Dear NATOSecretary General, following the launch of an investigation by the Minister of Defense of Poland Antoni Macierewicz on complaints of citizens on electromagnetic weapon harassment as mentioned herehttps://youtu.be/YgVs4-m0lNY , we kindly ask you to investigate this hybrid threat for which legislation exists in the US, in the States of Maine, Massachusetts and Michigan, and which is recognized as a threat by federal lawhttps://www.congress.gov/bill/114th-congress/house-bill/1073 (EMP threat concerning, for instance, the electric grid infrastructure). We welcome the signature of the Joint Statement of NATO, European Commission and Council of the European Unionaddressing hybrid threats among other.Thank you. Reference: http://goo.gl/nF6ZT5

Minister of National Defence for Poland answers a question regarding electromagnetic weapons testing…
Prisoners bust out of locked Texas cell to help unconscious jailer
(Isn’t it amazing that they could break out so easy and they never did it.  EVEN OUR CRIMINALS ARE SHEEPLES NOWADAYS.)
(I guess maybe that could be because they are DRUG ADDICTS and not CRIMINALS.)
(Why is it OK for one guy to hold a gun to another and lock him in a cage?)
 
Waiters and waitresses might be able to boost their take-home pay with a few tricks gleaned from psychological journals, Claudia Hammond says.
“So if you’re a customer and you notice the waitress is wearing a red top, introduces herself by name, beams at you, touches you lightly on the arm when she presents you with the bill in a heart-shaped dish accompanied by a smiley face and a card with a joke on it, while waving a credit card logo, perhaps she’s been studying the research. Of course no study has yet dared to try all these strategies at once to establish whether the effect of a 2% increase here and a 4% increase there is additive.”

7:12 am

Christian Narcissism?

Spiritual & Religious Abuse

– What to look for

[Abuse]… can damage you for a really long time, and if you don’t know it’s happening to you, which is often the case,
…why
you feel so horrendous, and down, and bad about yourself and life…

6:44 am

Speaking the Truth About Narcissistic Abuse Doesn’t Make You “Bitter” – It’s Compassionate

When peoples [sic?] care for you and cry for you, they can straighten out your soul. Langston Hughes

Due Process? A Drone Was Used To Blow Up A US Citizen Without Trial This Week

The Dallas shootings have ushered in a very new world for US citizens. For the very first time, drones have been used on US soil to kill Americans without trial or charges. Get past the horror of what Johnson was accused of doing and think about that precedent for a moment. Is it not chilling?

 

7/9/16

8:08 pm

Tomorrow is George’s birthday.  He’s working all night so I suggested my sons might want to text him a message to find when he punches out in the morning.  I’m baking his cake tomorrow; I’ve felt icky all day.

When peoples [sic?] care for you and cry for you, they can straighten out your soul. Langston Hughes

5:26 pm

I picked 4 four-leaf clovers.

4:06 pm

’60 Minutes’ Saves Bill Clinton’s Candidacy — Hillary’s Staged Embrace!

Filed under: Freedom • ToBeFree — Jeff Fenske @ 8:09 am

This was done on purpose by Don Hewitt to resurrect Bill’s Presidential campaign after the Gennifer Flowers’ affair revelation:

’60 Minutes’ of Don Hewitt Bias — Bragged he got Bill Clinton elected • Bill was the repentant husband, Hillary the hurt wife. The “60 Minutes” segment was credited with saving the Clinton candidacy

– –
Notice how focused Don Hewitt is on making sure Bill understands how he should come across. This coaching is something incredible to witness, because its from a master. Even after the light falling, he does not want to lose the focus of what Don Hewitt wants his audience to see.

If Black Lives Matter, Protest Planned Parenthood. It Kills More Blacks in One Day Than Police in a Year

Many of us can recall the names: Trayvon Martin, Mike Brown, Eric Garner, Tamir Rice, Freddie Gray, Alton Sterling. Regardless of guilt or innocence, we know their names. But who can recall one single white person killed by police officers? Go ahead. Ask your friend, your co-worker, your FB followers, your #BlackLivesMatter activist. The answer will be the same. Silence.

Whites are killed by cops, according to a database created by the Washington Post twice as much as blacks. Out of a total of 990 killed, 494 (or 49.9%) were white and 258 (or 26%) were black. 782 of those killed, or 79%, were armed with a deadly weapon. But hey, let’s only report when unarmed black individuals are victims of police brutality. This is a deliberate and despicable attempt by mainstream media to color the issue.

Just to put things into perspective, Planned Parenthood kills more unarmed black lives in one day than police are accused of killing in one entire year.

Law Enforcement Officials, Medical Professionals: There’s Something Seriously Wrong With Hillary Clinton’s Health

Democrat frontrunner Hillary Clinton’s disappearance from the debate stage last month left people speculating that the former First Lady took a long bathroom break, but now a law-enforcement source with inside connections is alleging that Clinton was missing from the stage due to health issues stemming from a previous brain injury.

These long-lasting symptoms stemming from a concussion and blood clot, according to a neurologist, suggest Clinton is suffering from post-concussion syndrome, which can severely impact her cognitive abilities.

(Thank goodness.  Maybe she’s not really a totally crass compulsive liar.)

Cops Shoot White Guy in Fresno; Nobody Pays Attention

Somehow, the shooting of an unarmed white man by police isn’t drawing any attention from the mainstream media.

Unlike the shootings of Philando Castile and Alton Sterling, which have created yet another firestorm complete with accusations of police racism, the media is ignoring the death of Dylan Noble, a 19-year-old white man, on June 25.

 
 
Forever.
 
So are we up to two terrorist-shootings per day?  
 
Tiny House Beauty; The Chimera by Wind River Tiny Homes
The Urban Cabin Has Room To Spare
–My sons will know pretty soon that I couldn’t stand down before my dad.  He has decided that I am to be destroyed and he will not relent until he MUST.  That’s the nature of the beast.

Narcissists and Demons: Part II – Symbiotic Relationship

Children of Narcissistic Parents-The Way They Abuse Their Young

“Shame comes from the outside.”
Dallas Sets New Police State Precedent: Using ‘Robots with Bombs’ to Blow up Suspects
“We live in a Terminator movie.”
 
 
 

11:02 am

Secret NWO Society Killing Targeted Individuals

A web of inter-connected cults under the umbrella commonly called “intelligence service,” is working in communities around the globe, day and night, to covertly ruin lives of thousands if not millions of innocent, law-abiding people, each of whom knows first hand secret “service” terror. Think you’re immune?

One major commonality among all people being covertly persecuted, communicating with Deborah Dupré about hell on Earth they endure as Targeted Individuals, is their integrity, obviously a thorn in the side of today’s ruling cabal.

 

 My friend claims to be a victim of covert surveillance and DEWs, which has been going on for several years. Her life has turned completely upside down. The stalking has been systematically orchestrated in an attempt to rob her of family, friends, reputation, home and economic stability and even her physical health.

President Kennedy, one of the highest profile Targeted Individuals (TIs) in modern history, knew and spoke about the “intelligence service,” a “secret society” serving the New World Order elite. In describing its secretive satanic activities, Kennedy stated that the very word “secrecy” is “repugnant in a free and open society.” He said much more in attempt to educate the public about the secret society working in direct opposition to human rights, to kill one way or another most humans and to control survivors.

See more here:   https://lissakr11humane.com/2016/07/09/secret-nwo-society-killing-targeted-individuals/

10:52 am

Together 2016 Christian Event Hijacked with 9/23 Satanic Agenda

10:45 am

You know what I know?  If fake and half-hearted ‘Christians’ didn’t get offended by my commitment then it wouldn’t be worth a whole lot.  If a person can sit under Bible-preaching of any sort, and not follow through with investigation leading to consecration then he should rather have played golf on Sundays.  If a person can bring himself to claim ‘Christianity’ then he/she knows full-well that more is required than the ‘churches’ express. 

— 

If  people don’t stand up for Jesus Christ then not only will they fall for anything, but they KNOW they have given merely lip-service to a destiny that some of us have embraced with all our goods and service and life-force.  In the presence of US, they KNOW they’re fake! They also KNOW what I am.  They’ve gotta be uncomfortable in their hypocrisy.  It’ll get worse for them when we start raising the dead.  I can hardly wait.

10:01 am

I picked one four-leaf clover.

 

BUMP TO THE TOP

“THANK YOU, JESUS, THAT I AM NO LONGER RAPED.”

I always just thought it was demons when my watches died.  One was a gift and worth more than my car.  I couldn’t ever wear a watch.  And now I don’t need to.

 

 

7/9/16

6:59 am

Anonymous Hacker Video to Hillary: “We Are About to Expose Everything!”

“WE DON’T WANT YOU IN POWER.  YOU WILL SPREAD NEGATIVITY ON THE PLANET.”
Communicating directly to Clinton, the mysterious figure in the video says, “It appears that lying has become second nature to you,” and “You are backed by the same dark suits that have supported every other past president.”
“THE TRUTH IS ABOUT TO CATCH UP WITH YOU.”

6:52 am

PLEASE WATCH THE WHOLE VIDEO! A secret left for us in the movie Gray State exposes that the FREEMASONS are planning to kill millions of people.

This video is styled as a documentary expose, and contains a huge amount of information (which is typical for my videos). I was led by the Holy Spirit to review the trailer for Gray State by David Crowley. When I arrived at the trailer, I did not know what to look for, but then I caught a glimpse of the executioner with the Masonic apron. I believe this is what the LORD wanted me to see. This conceptual trailer was published four years ago. Quite honestly, I do not know how else I caught this, except by the Holy Spirit. I offer praise to the Father for his Son, our LORD Jesus, our King.

“The executioner wears a Freemason apron.”

“They’re planning a second American revolution.”

6:42 am

8 Signs You Have A Strong Personality That Might Scare Some People

You Cant Stand Trivial Conversations

Conversations about the weather, and trivialities are often unbearable, and uncomfortable. If you have a powerful personality, you probably spend a lot of time thinking deeply, and have a lot of ideas to share. You do not want to waste time talking about things that in the long run dont really matter all that much, when you could be spending your energy changing the world.

See at:   https://ascendingstarseed.wordpress.com/2016/07/08/8-signs-you-have-a-strong-personality-that-might-scare-some-people/

6:34 am

Place-marker.  Sluggish persons in my life have been called ‘vibrational place-markers’ and in years past, maybe that was a valuable job.  The notion being, that in our ‘progress’ toward a different paradigm, we move in fits and starts, and following each fit, somebody has to stick an appendage into the ground to hold us there so we don’t slip backwards.  A ‘place-marker’ would be one who never moved, never established new thought patterns or spiritual habits.  Static humming of a single note.  I was told that was a good thing.

I was told such a place-marker is akin to Buddha, in his peace, and far superior to those of more histrionic temperament.  I was told wrong.  The present time calls for drastic motion.  “Place-marker” is another word for anchor.  Or perhaps ‘buoy’, which sits on the surface as others dive beneath.

6:06 am

US MARINE Exposes USA FEMA Camps and MARTIAL LAW 2016

5:30 am

When The Narcissist Fails They Will Become Violent

“The narc is willing to ruin your life if you don’t live it their way.”

“My sister left and my mother tried to kill me.”

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