5:07 am
My parents sent a birthday gift:  a hundred dollars and some decent  perfume, silver earrings.  I kept it, and Isaac hand-delivered a thank-you note.

Turn the Key with Praying in Tongues

God told this guy how to fix his truck, step-by-step.  Henry Gruver crawled under concertina wife on the Lebanon border.  He said Jesus kept telling him what foot to move and when to lower his tail and/or head.   This is a beautiful man with a pertinent message.

Neville Johnson – A Prophecy of Jesus in Psalm 110

If you gotta die, why not make it a great death?
Prayer of Proclamation:
Father, we thank You and praise You that as we keep our eyes “fixed” on Jesus [Your Word] we can know [have a deep assurance] that YOU [by the Holy Spirit] will reveal whatever we “need” to know concerning what the Enemy has done to us in the past – and what he is planning both in the present and the future. Therefore, we boldly proclaim that NO weapon formed against us shall prosper [or is prospering], and we set ourselves to keep our eyes on the absolute truths [principles] of the Kingdom – knowing that, as we do, whatever revelation of the Enemy’s works [schemes] we “need to know” will continually be made evident to us – and we declare all of these things DONE, in the Name of Jesus.
“…constantly being transfigured into His very own image in ever increasing splendor and from one degree of glory to another;”
See more at:

“A brother may not be a friend, but a friend will always be a brother.” — Benjamin Franklin

Activists Push for Immediate State Action to Fix Flint’s Toxic Water System

Read more: WHAT REALLY HAPPENED | The History The US Government HOPES You Never Learn! http://whatreallyhappened.com/#ixzz3yakhnizj

1:23  pm
“There are three classes of people, those who see, those who see when they are shown and those who don’t see.”  –Leonardo da Vinci
They let me out of the psych ward.  I didn’t go outdoors for sixteen days… I didn’t even wear shoes for ten. After ingesting sufficient psychotropic drugs, I was deemed well enough to go on an outing for ice cream, and then to return to my sons’ house.  While incarcerated, I was asked the same question every day, by multiple professionals:  “Do you see things that are not there?”  Well first of all, if I did, how would I possibly know it?  If I saw anything I would be quite reasonably sure that it was there, so I always said no.  What they should ask is:  “Do you see things that WE DO NOT SEE.”  Again.  How in the WORLD would I know that?  Their question should be:  “Do you see things unseen by [however much percent] of other people?”     Reality-by-consensus is pretty lame, but that’s really what they want us ‘psychotics’ to adopt.  How pitiful we who see more, we more-abled-specimens…are controlled by those with lesser abilities.   Sadly, not only are we arbitrarily CHOOSING reality…we’re doing so based on the lowest common denominator.  Our species is striving to be the least we can be.
I’d dearly love to ask the psychiatrist about what he sees.  He didn’t want to see me pray; with the current blooming of noetic science I thought he might;  what if he doesn’t see all the things that actually are?  He is likely to miss a thing since  it’s HIS observation and bias that determine what things do exist.  How self-validating it must be to DECIDE for others those  things that are and are not real.  Psychiatrists may even label a subjectively determined ‘false’ belief to be disease based on no evidence at all!  This is power that should not rest on a single pair of shoulders, but also, it is not science.  The empirical methodologies are utterly ignored and psychiatry is a religion of self-righteous witchcraft and the poor shrinks are unlikely to ever see anything  more than they do today.  I’m missing about a third of my vocabulary.  “God have mercy on all doctors.  Thank you.”
 I was subjected to my three biggest fears all at once:  1) incarceration in a psych ward, 2) taking mind-altering medications, and 3) being in the system.  The doctor said I shouldn’t work so I’ve applied for disability and food stamps.  It feels very wrong  but I don’t know if that’s principle or pride.
It’s intellectually lazy to allow others to determine reality for us. Also, reality-realization is a pretty personal-responsibility concept.  “Don’t compromise yourself.  It’s all you got.”  (Janis Joplin)

‘He deprived me of my family, childhood, friends and love… but I FORGIVE him’: Daughter of cult leader who kept her as a slave for THIRTY YEARS describes her ordeal as her ‘narcissist psychopath’ father is sentenced to die in jail

  • Aravindan Balakrishnan, 75, subjected followers to horrific sexual assaults
  • He kept his daughter locked away for 30 years until she finally escaped  
  • Maoist cult leader was found guilty of six counts of indecent assault and four counts of rape last month after a three week trial
  • Daughter Katy Morgan-Davies, 33, was kept like a ‘caged bird’ and was not told her mother was cult devotee Sian Davies, who died in 1996
I dodged diagnosis for a good long run;  now that I got one I can relax… and submit the following verse written by my eldest.  The younger quit his job today, after six months of reflection.  He says it’s so boring that sometimes his blood pressure drops.  He’s going to study Swedish again.  They are watching a video course about the bond market, on Friday evening,  with youthful hormones pumping through their…brains.  They’re pretty bright.  Can you imagine how smart they’d be if they hadn’t been raised by a crazy lady?
A vision recorded by Isaac:

Senators Stabenow, Peters and Congressman Kildee Announce Legislation to Help Flint Families

Legislation provides emergency funding to replace and fix the City of Flint’s pipes, creates a Center to focus on immediate and long-term needs of children and adults exposed to lead Legislation also requires mandatory EPA action if a state refuses to warn the public about unsafe water, gives state flexibility to use funding to help forgive water infrastructure loans

Read more at:

“Everything Is Dying” Wildlife Is Gone “Methane Gas Leak

When the ambulance came for me, Isaac said, “This isn’t gonna be a good day for you, mom.”  I spent all day in the emergency room and was then driven by the sheriff’s team behind chicken wire through some breezy snow to the psych ward on the fifth floor, in Marquette. I had an attorney but at the end I decided not to protest the hospitalization, so I signed away three months wherethrough they might incarcerate me should I fail to obey orders.  I was VERY DISAPPOINTED in God, that he had let it get so far before He claimed me.
 I considered the Biblical principle of submission to captivity.  I remembered that I was a prisoner only of GOD and not the human parties.  I expected HIM to make things right so I wouldn’t be abducted and medicated.  I was threatened with morphine when I refused to have my blood pressure taken on the day of my abduction.  I was threatened with long-term incarceration before I submitted.   I told the psychiatrist I’d do whatever he said.  I pray for him.  I saw him having dinner one time, at a restaurant,  only my body wasn’t there.  I wonder if he saw me too.  I wanted to not be declared defective BECAUSE I CLAIM JESUS’ NAME ALL THE TIME AND HE SHOULD HAVE A BETTER-LOOKING REPRESENTATIVE.  Then I figured, if Jesus needs me to defend him, He’s not God.  So I just opened my mouth and swallowed.   Besides, I REALLY DID WANT TO GET OUT OF THIS SENSORY-DEPRIVED HOUSE.  It was great to be around some people.  Isaac and Josh did me a favor.  Aren’t they amazing?

Couple Living in an RV in Winter & Living in a Van in Summer

It’s not looking so good, for me to get on disability although the Dr. told me not to work for a while.  George won’t divulge his finances,  and since we live together the presumption is that we are living as man and wife.  We can create affidavits of mutual conjugal repulsion, but they won’t believe it.  Without disability I’ll have a real hard time getting an apartment.  But, one of my friends from the psych unit said I can sleep on her couch, and I figure I’m not likely  to get hooked on  heroin after all these years.  What’s a girl to do?  My father is a millionaire and I owe 180 thousand dollars for an education that his slander ensured that I am not authorized to use.  I’m getting food stamps. I withhold comment.  I really really don’t want to write about him anymore.  The psych ward was far saner.
Isaac asks, “Who needs revenge when you can have just amends?   and lots of money?”
(Pretty soon here, we’re gonna see some smart folks slapping their knees.    The really smart ones might also hoot, they’ll say, ‘Dang!  I knew she was right.  I said it all along.’)

“If ye love wealth better than liberty, the tranquility of servitude than the animated contest of freedom, go from us in peace. We ask not your counsels or arms. Crouch down and lick the hands which feed you. May your chains sit lightly upon you, and may posterity forget that you were our countrymen!” — Samuel Adams

Read more: WHAT REALLY HAPPENED | The History The US Government HOPES You Never Learn! http://whatreallyhappened.com/#ixzz3yirsabrZ

Eco-tourism, organic farming.  We could make some money here and connect with real people.  Yoga studio up the road.  Take a sauna; go for a swim in the lake.  Isaac would like the lands he owns to require relinquishment of US dollars at the border.  Josh is researching the difficulty of creating a private currency.
I apologize for my unannounced hiatus.


6:13 am

Fukushima Warning : Ian Goddard & James Corbett WHOI UVic Jan 11th 2015

6:07 am
God is pretty funny.  Here I am trying to establish healthy self-esteem for the first time in my life…and I am opposed by those I love.  Don’t you think that’s funny?  Why am I not permitted to demand truth and even some nurturing attention?  I can’t believe the things I hear…and it’s even HARDER TO BELIEVE THE THINGS I DON’T.  My parents and my brother go to church every week and tell other people how to live, but they have denied me comfort…or even an audience…for SEVEN YEARS!  “Dear Lord. Thank you for showing me that I needed to stand up for myself and my little family.  PLEASE HELP ME PERSIST because I’m very tired and very lonely.  Please bless US ALL WITH TRUTH.  Then bless me with some rest?  Could I please help my friend in Belgium somehow?  Could I please have SOMETHING TO LOOK FORWARD TO?  Please, remove this bleakness from my mindset. I know it only requires a touch from you and everything looks perfect.  Please, change me more?  Nobody thinks I’m worth anything yet.  Make me like you.  Amen.”

5:39 am

I sent a text to my mom and my brother.  It said ‘James 4:17’.

“Therefore to him that knoweth to do good, and doeth it not, to him it is sin.”


11:40 pm
I am so grateful.  George gave me a chance to be not wrong.  Isaac wouldn’t offer that chance.  Josh would rather strike me in a heartbeat.  George said he remembered when we moved from Lansing.  He said he remembers how Dad’s schedule controlled our packing, and our move.  He remembers that I was very pregnant.  He remembers that we slept on the floor that night.  He remembers that I failed the bar exam the next day.  Tonight He wrote a note to my dad:  “Did you do that on purpose?”  (His words may have been a bit different, but that was the gist.)  I am very grateful.  George GAVE ME A CHANCE.  His sons won’t. They demand that I be the problem that makes their family unpleasant.  But, one day they will know how much their mother loved them…and HOW MUCH MORE SHE LOVED TRUTH.  “Thank you Lord that George is AT LEAST WILLING TO GIVE ME A CHANCE.  Please Lord, George and I always wanted to please you.  Please, give George truth?  And let his sons NEVER SETTLE FOR GOLDTHORPE-LIES or any other.  Amen.  But also, my brother is not the kind of man that our father is.  Please have mercy on him?  Give him TRUTH EVEN IF HE DOESN’T WANT IT…because…you and I both know he really does…he wants TRUTH…because Truth is You…and he loves you. Thank you.  Amen.”

9:25 pm

I haven’t been to a movie since Avatar came out.  I don’t deserve movies.  That’s what DAD AND DAVID AND MOM taught my sons.

9:19 pm

I can’t sleep because it feels like my insides are jumping around.  My sons took their father to a movie.  They spend a lot of time making him feel OK because they think I am too harsh because I was nearly murdered by my father and it still bothers me a bit and I get annoyed at my ex-husband who never gave a shit what happened to his family.  I hope he enjoys the movie.  I haven’t been to a movie since Avatar.    I’ll probably make crumpets tomorrow.  I hope I can sleep some tonight.  –My brother could ease my mind a lot, and encourage my sons that Christ is real, and give us all peace.  I hope he will.

8:45 pm

7:25 pm
Hey David.  I was just sitting here feeling terrible about all the things I’ve posted.  But then I loved you even more than you know.  And then I wanted to stand up with my hair on fire.  I do not discount your value.  Not a single bit.  I have always loved you and you used to know that.  Remember when I got Dad’s Cadillac stuck in the Soo?  I mean you ONLY THE BEST and our father is a LIAR FROM HELL AND YOU KNOW I’M RIGHT!!! You know I’m too weak to speak poorly of anybody if I AM NOT RIGHT.  Dearest brother, my only POSSIBLE conduit to a lifestyle that I have chosen to abandon:  DON’T BELIEVE DAD.  Instead, believe the Bible. 
Don’t you tell all those prisoners to whom you preach, that they ought to believe the BIBLE?  BUT YOU DON’T EVEN BELIEVE IT YOURSELF…

Chuck Berry – My Ding-A-Ling

“Then Mama took me to grammar school…”

7:12 pm

Hey David, did Grandma ever play with your ding-a-ling? Did Dad?

“I AM STILL WAITING.”  I’ve sent him the same message dozens of times!  I’ve been sending it ever since the day he told me he knew how/that I was tortured.  ,My texts to my brother always say:  “I AM STILL WAITING.”  That statement  refers to an ancient email where I reminded him that DAD STOLE MY LIFE AND I WAS WAITING TO GET IT BACK. He knew then, and he knows it now.  Wow.  That was  a LONG TIME AGO.  God is VERY MERCIFUL…because my dad and my mom and my brother  ARE STILL ALIVE.  (So to speak.)
 I am not a child, therefore I COULD NEVER expect a Baptist to actually follow Jesus Christ himself.   How impossible would that be?   Baptists don’t even believe in the HOLY GHOST!     But, now my rich-fake-ass brother must decide if he will follow…at the VERY LEAST most MINIMAL definition of what NOT TRUE CHRISTIANS but those who make their living by PRETENDING TO BE CHRISTIANS would know they MUST DO.  Like not TOTALLY IGNORING  the TEACHINGS JESUS GAVE US.  Otherwise he will (as usual…) default into subservience to our psychopathic father, who has been somewhat KINDER TO HIM, but who still remains: MY BROTHER’S ABUSER, AND MY MOTHER’S ABUSER AND THE ABUSER OF ALL MY IN-LAWS AND also he is the pitiful fake-man WHO JUST ALWAYS REMAINS:  AN ABUSER of PEOPLE LOVED BY JESUS.    MY BROTHER cannot be a fake Christian anymore.  None of us has that luxury.  Some of us never did.
POSTING THIS if I am permitted, on 1/11/16 at 7:07 pm
OK.  I am not going to send the text.  If God wants David to reed my message, David will reed my message.  Then he should  buy me a decent phone.

4:30 pm

Still no call from my ‘Christian’ family.  I’ve been emailing all day.  Again.  Here’s the caption of the last one:  My grandmother was obsessed with little girl’s genitals. Every night (I stayed there a lot…)…


 I don’t necessarily want to go into all the sordid details of my life as the scapegoat child of a fake-Christian family who CONTINUES TO INFLUENCE MY FAMILY WITH LIES…but a girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do.  I love my grandma a lot, she was the only adult who actually noticed me, but she was perverted.  I expect she would agree now, and support my efforts to get this family right.  



(Besides, for my dad to be such a flaming psychopath…his mom was probably a major negative  issue.  I hope I don’t have to learn about all that stuff.)




Narcissist Needs Pity

Why does he make these videos?  He says it is so somebody might say:   “That’s the same symptoms I have.  That’s exactly the way my mother treated me!”
“They project their mental illness on YOU AND THEN TELL THE WORLD ABOUT IT.  But, they still want the pity…”
My folks are classic:  
Golden-child’s children:  “David’s kid is:  ice skating, playing football, making music, smiling without drooling, etc.”
Scapegoat’s children:  “Linda’s kids are defective because…well, we’ll also TRY TO USE THEM to draw attention to ourselves in the manner we’ve PROJECTED LINDA…”   (But, my folks find it really hard to denigrate my exceptional sons…)  (As if anybody gives a shit what they might make up to whine about.)
“They’re incredibly ill…and they know they’re ill.  They need that pity.  Don’t fall into that trap.  Get the hell away.  Stay away…Peace.”