1/4/16
4:52 pm
Wow, I’m really pissed at George and I just figured it out.  He watched my dad abuse me for decades; over and over he  watched Dad attack me. ..and he watched me cry.   George permitted me to believe it was MY FAULT.  I’m learning quick and I’m angry now.  He should leave.  
——————————
4:39 pm

Narcissism Second by Second….

To those who have just gone no-contact and those who are planning to do so:  YOU HAD TO SURVIVE!  DO NOT FEEL BAD ABOUT WHAT YOU HAD TO DO!
 
“You did nothing wrong by wanting out of that situation.”
“I never thought I would smile again.”
“I FEEL GREAT…THIRD YEAR no-CONTACT AND it’s the holidays and I FEEL GREAT”
“I want you to know there’s light at the end of the tunnel and I’m living breathing proof of that.”
“I’m not so focused, as PTSD does, especially if it’s COMPLEX PTSD…”
“You’ve done nothing wrong by trying to PROTECT yourself, and not wanting to be abused not wanting to be degraded and lied about behind your back…
(I’m going to get well.  It’s happening.  Then I will show others how to do it.)
—-

1/4/16

4:10 pm
Does recovery from ‘Narcissistic Abuse Syndrome’ require a survivor to go lower, before she can come back up?  It seems like two steps forward and one step back.   I kind of figured that once I plugged the right information into the program I’d be consistently improving, but that’s not the case.  I’ve really got to know what it is that forces me into the hyperventilating state when I was fine just a second before.  It cycles.  It doesn’t seem to be any kind of natural response to stimulus;  it rolls, first panic…then heat.  Panic, heat.  Over and over and over.  I understand many reasons why targeted individuals, even politically active whistleblowers and Truth-warriors eventually commit suicide.  It is a VERY terrible way to live, and I don’t even get wounded or raped any more.
 It is TERRIBLE just to have your mood on some unnatural cycle when your native stimuli doesn’t change.  It is terrible to hear voices in your head and it’s terrible that the voices are put there by evil people and that they say evil things. How dreadfully evil this situation is.  How remarkably evil that Christians don’t give a shit.   How imperative it is that they begin to care.  We’re told in the Bible to be established in ‘present Truth’.  Present-Truth ain’t what she used to be; Hillary says we’ve been visited by aliens and if she gets elected she’ll spill the beans.  DID YOU EVER HEAR THAT BEFORE?  A former secretary of state says aliens are real and nobody is laughing at her; the world has changed and we’re learning that lots of crazy-seeming things have been quite real all along.  Those who got their world-view from TV and never paid attention are having a distinctly nervous 2016.  It won’t get better until they quit loving lies.  And it will be difficult, even then.  Lie-lovers aren’t going to enjoy this year but the rest of us will, former lie-lovers especially.
Is George a lie-lover?  Well, he puts very little effort into seeking Truth.  He believes lies, I know that, but I don’t think he tells any. Does he love the lie or does he just love the liar and refuse truth based on that fidelity?  One day he’ll know how smugly Dad manipulates allegiances…and he will apologize to me.  I’ve forgiven him already but I wish he’d wise up or go away.  The rest of us DO want to work on our minds and spirituality.  We don’t want to remain the way we are, and we want to know Truth.  I’m pretty sure.

3:40 pm

Netanyahu Bribes Republican Congressmen to Change Their Iran Votes

In an explosive revelation, wiretaps uncovered by the Wall Street Journal reveal that Benjamin Netanyahu reached out to republican congressmen who had been considering voting in favor of the Iran peace deal, asking what they wanted in return for voting against the deal. In the end, not a single republican voted for the deal, meaning that Netanyahu’s bribes succeeded in swaying the ones who had been on the fence. That means that not only is Netanyahu actively working to undermine the sanctity of the United States government, the republican congressmen involved may have committed treason under the Espionage Act.

See more

 

 

 

 

12:24 pm

———- Forwarded message ———-
From: Linda Goldthorpe <goldthorpelinda@gmail.com>

Date: Mon, Jan 4, 2016 at 10:20 AM
Subject: Re: Swedish language class beginning 1/11
To: NLI Administrator <info@nordiclanguagesinitiative.com>

Thanks a lot.  He doesn’t live in Toronto yet but I am finalizing details on a condo.  For the time-being, we’ll be driving down for class.  (We live in the upper peninsula, very near Sault Ste. Marie.)    He’s 19, and was homeschooled so this will be a new experience for him.  How cool is what you do?  I attended Salolampi in Minnesota years ago.  Such a great experience although I can’t remember too much Finnish.

Linda

On Mon, Jan 4, 2016 at 9:57 AM, NLI Administrator <info@nordiclanguagesinitiative.com> wrote:

Hi Linda,
Thanks for your email! Your son Joshua is welcome to register for our Swedish Level I course starting on Monday January 11th. Does he live in Toronto? Our courses take place in the OISE building, 252 Bloor St. W., which is the St. George subway stop.
It should be possible for you to register Joshua through our website:
As far as payment is concerned, select Offline payment when completing the registration and Joshua can bring cash on Monday, or a cheque if he has a Canadian bank account.
Please let me know if you are having problems with the registration and I will help you. I will need an address in Canada, though, to do so.
Best regards,
Susanne
Susanne van Rossem
Director, NLI

the swede life in toronto   For the love of Swedish food, culture and lifestyle in Toronto
11:49 am
I copied this email to the ‘Nordic Language Initiative’ in Toronto, to my parents and my brother and my witnesses.

Hi, 

I’m writing from Michigan; I’d like to register my son for the Swedish course beginning next Monday.  Is that still possible?  I wasn’t able to use the buttons and Facebook sign-in.  Would it be possible for us to pay in cash on the first day of class?
What do we need to know?
My son:
Joshua Miller
2693 CR 377
McMillan, MI  49853   USA
I am: 
Linda Goldthorpe   906-291-1376
Thanks a lot for your help.  I understand there is also a discussion group?  When and how much?   He visited Sweden and has studied on his own but never gets to speak to anybody.
Linda
—-
11:28 am
“The future must not belong to those who slander the prophet of Islam.”
(Barry Soetoro a/k/a Barack Hussein Obama)
—-
11:03 am
Pretty stressed.  Maybe today God will change my life.  He hasn’t talked to me for a long time but I know he hasn’t forgotten that I’m suffering and alone.  I know he has Christian people somewhere who will pray with me and help me heal.  Maybe somebody would let me sleep on a couch for a few nights so I could—- build back up to living with a man who calls me a liar?  I’ll do it as long as I must, but just now I’m not very able to take any more criticism and accusation.
“I saw a man conceal his cowardice beneath the mantle of patience, call laziness tolerance, and fear, courtesy.”  (Sounds like David, right?)
“I saw liberty walking alone and knocking on doors to ask for shelter, without anyone listening to those appeals.”
(Kahlil Gibran)
1/4/16
8:52 am
‘My husband doesn’t deserve jail, but he does deserve every bit of the hell he’s going through now even though he is still pretending that this hell doesn’t exist,’ Camille said

Camille Cosby is ‘livid and humiliated’ by Bill’s actions: Wife of comedian ‘doesn’t blame any of the women’ and thinks he ‘deserves every bit of the hell he’s going through’, source claims

  • Comedian Bill Cosby’s wife Camille was notably absent as he arrived to face sexual assault charges in Pennsylvania on Wednesday 
  • His wife of more than 50 years initially stood by him when claims of sexual abuse surfaced but is now reportedly ‘sickened’ 
There’s nothing sadder than an elderly psychopath on the skids.  Of course, there’s also NOTHING MORE JUST.

What exactly is wrong with Bill Cosby’s eye? Disgraced comedian is now referred to as ‘blind’ by his attorney as degenerative keratoconus disease takes hold

  • Bill Cosby is reportedly suffering from keratoconus, a degenerative condition of the cornea
  • The condition causes the cornea to bulge 
  • Keratoconus can cause vision problems like blurring, blurring, ghosting, multiple images, starbursts and glaring
  • Cosby’s attorney recently referred to him as a ’78-year-old blind man’ 
Psalm 35

And my soul shall be joyful in the Lord: it shall rejoice in his salvation.

10 All my bones shall say, Lord, who is like unto thee, which deliverest the poor from him that is too strong for him, yea, the poor and the needy from him that spoileth him?

11 False witnesses did rise up; they laid to my charge things that I knew not.

12 They rewarded me evil for good to the spoiling of my soul.

13 But as for me, when they were sick, my clothing was sackcloth: I humbled my soul with fasting; and my prayer returned into mine own bosom.

14 I behaved myself as though he had been my friend or brother: I bowed down heavily, as one that mourneth for his mother.

15 But in mine adversity they rejoiced, and gathered themselves together: yea, the abjects gathered themselves together against me, and I knew it not; they did tear me, and ceased not:

16 With hypocritical mockers in feasts, they gnashed upon me with their teeth.

17 Lord, how long wilt thou look on? rescue my soul from their destructions, my darling from the lions.

18 I will give thee thanks in the great congregation: I will praise thee among much people.

21 Yea, they opened their mouth wide against me, and said, Aha, aha, our eye hath seen it.

22 This thou hast seen, O Lord: keep not silence: O Lord, be not far from me.

23 Stir up thyself, and awake to my judgment, even unto my cause, my God and my Lord.

7:51 am

“Dear Lord, I’m doing poorly.  I’ve been very anxious lately, almost all the time.  I know that’s wrong of me because you are in charge of everything and I belong to you.  Please forgive me and also release me from it?  I thought I was making good progress but the attacks keep coming and coming.  I’d like to know what I’m dealing with.  I’d like to see it gone entirely.”

“This house is so pointless!  I can’t stand waking up with no place to go day after day.  With George’s new shift and Josh’s reduced hours we are all four here, all day, most days.  I wash dishes.  I wash dishes.  Thank you that I can kind of enjoy it now; that took years, didn’t it?  I want more to do.  I NEED something to do to take my mind off the panic and the torture.  I need distraction and to make some difference.  PLEASE provide me and my sons some worthwhile activity and some friends?  Forgive my parents and brother for what they have done to us.  Forgive them for leaving us in this condition for so many years.  Forgive George.  I never lied to him.  I guess you know that and you also know that Dad ALWAYS lies.  Could you give George some discernment?”

“Forgive David.  He is the only man who ever expressed sympathy for what happened to me…and he must have heard it from Dad because he hadn’t heard it from me at that point; he even let me cry for about a minute.  Then he went entirely AWOL when Dad was trying to lock me up again and smearing me.  Then David sent me to Belgium…then he wouldn’t talk to me AGAIN for another year.  FORGIVE HIM and give him courage, Lord, please don’t let him go to hell.  Let him see himself through your eyes… and give him a glimpse of how his golden parents treated his sister who cooked for him and babysat so they could go about earning him millions of dollars and feeding their bloated-starving egos.  Let him see MY LIFE and how VERY DIFFERENT it has been from his, by design of our parents, because I have always been their scapegoat and made his fake happy-family-life possible by deflecting their creepiness.”

“Thank you for enabling me to keep going for these seven years since Dad stole my life.  Please free me, and free your others.  Fill us completely, like your Word says.  Please ‘come quickly in your temple’ and show all the torturers and abusers who’s boss.  Please finish the work you began in me.  Please let my dad see me peaceful and happy. Provoke him to jealousy.  Draw him to you, David too, and my mom and Chris and all the rest of the family and their beloveds’ families and also mine.  Do not allow them to be content with the fake legend of Goldthorpe.  Give them their own stories of healing and joy.  Make us powerful in TRUTH and COMPASSION rather than pitiful status-seekers, backstabbers and gluttons of consumption.  Make us a FIGHTING UNIT for your purpose.”

“Please may I have a friend?  Please may I have somewhere to go and something to do?  Could I have some money?It wouldn’t take very much to give me a few options.  Please will you cause my dad to tell my sons the truth so that my life may restart?  Please give me absolute closure to the torture and the narcissistic abuse.  I’ve been tortured all my life, right?  Please fix me all the way?  Please touch me again; when I feel like this I try so hard to remember that you always come back, and that I always get better.  It feels like my insides are vibrating with fake-fear and nausea. Everything is for a purpose.  Please give me grace.  Forgive me for thinking I’d rather die than live like this.  My life is not my own.  Thank you.  Amen.”

NEED NEW MEMORIES? DARPA is working on “Total Re call”

Bitcoin is being challenged by a perceived difference in fungibility between old and new units.

Bill Nye now the corporate fraud science guy

Now, all has changed on the “teach the children” front, where Bill Nye the “Science Guy” has switched his stance, proclaiming his apparent new GMO love affair, exclaiming that “when you’re in love, you want to tell the world.” Whatever that means.

‘God touched his heart,’ NC pastor says of disarming, praying with gunman in church

Sunday was absolutely a day of celebration at Heal The Land Outreach Ministries – just days after the pastor of the church managed to defuse a situation involving a gunman at the church.

It was a very frightening experience as a 57-year-old man walked in carrying the rifle in one hand, pointed up, and an ammo clip in the other hand.

The pastor and church members say what could have been a horrific tragedy on New Year’s Eve turned into another reason to give thanks.

(I guess God has experience corralling violent men.  He can disarm my dad too.)

“When I told the congregation, its OK, he wants prayer and I began to pray for him, and the power of God hit and he fell to his knees and began to cry and weep and he had his face on the ground,” Pastor Wright said.
(In all the years he dragged me to church I’ve never seen my dad bow a knee to Jesus…but I WILL.  I will see him with his face on the ground before my best friend.  Satan’s gonna do it too.)
(Actually, I’ve never seen David in that posture either although he spends his weekends teaching others about his religion.)

See more:  http://wncn.com/2016/01/03/god-stepped-in-nc-pastor-says-of-disarming-praying-with-gunman-in-church/

1/3/16
10:11 pm
Oxymoron:  Wanting to be taken seriously as an actress.
9:45 pm
Dear Dad:
George called me a liar again.  He does that now and then, when he is defending you despite his UNWILLINGNESS to review the records.  He loves you, Daddy.  (He musta caught the bug from me because I always modeled love and consideration for you.)  I used to be your biggest suck-up, but I now know how much you putting me into tears every week or so.  You called me:  “Fat.”  “Stupid.”  “Lazy.”  Etc.  I could quote all of your stock-versions of ‘DENIGRATE LINDA WITH LIES’.  You told me I’d never have an original thought.  (Have I not surprised you in this regard?)  You said I would get so fat that  George would leave me and YOU   would have to “push my wheelchair.”  (Would you EVER HELP ME MOTIVATE?  Not demonstrably.)   (Also, what could I do to make him leave?  Or pay attention?)  You said George would “leave me for some hot babe on the midnight shift in the perimeter security vehicle.”    (I should have stayed fat, but we haven’t slept together for MANY YEARS anyway, so what’s the difference?)  (I guess I’m fat again.  He’s still not going anywhere.)
 An alternative could be,  maybe he could come live at your house?  He BELIEVES you and he TRUSTS you and he BELIEVES YOU LOVE HIM.  Does that mean you win?  (!)   (He does not believe me, and he does not trust me and he doesn’t give a SHIT if I love him or not.  I really do try.)
Or maybe I’ll start sleeping in your driveway.  What are you gonna say to the cops?  I mean, when you reported me again?
 Moron Dad:  “Hey cops.  My daughter is sleeping in her car.”  
—-
Cops:  “Hey  Moron.  Open the door and let her in.”
George THINKS I AM A LIAR…and this is very funny,  because he thinks that… because he BELIEVES YOU!   EVEN your biggest and best suck-ups don’t believe you!  (I am now absolutely sure your consistent lying is known to everybody.)  (Everybody knows you lie, even those you have moulded and manipulated into your source-bowl.)  “Mom.  Did you ever hear Dad lie?”  (yup)
 DAVID…I know you think it’s cute when he does it, but the SOB lies, right?  (yup)  Megan, well I guess you know and so does your mom and so does everybody else in the family.  BUT, Dad pays the bill so everybody still piles into his happy-wagon.  I do not lie.  (Everybody knows that too.)  (George excepted.)  George is not as smart as his sons, but then again, NOBODY ELSE IS EITHER.  My sons are the smartest people in my dad’s family.  They also value honesty.  Their dad will not leave and he keeps calling me a liar.  Things are gonna change, and  I think pretty soon.
——

9:15 pm

Dear Dad.
You and I  both know what you and I both know.
George still believes you.  Nobody else does, but at least you got one minion.  (OH YEAH, David is your suck-up too.  But we both know he’s not a believer.)
You will NOT BE ABLE to gaslight me again… because you just make me laugh, now.  (Yeah.  That’s gotta be a bummer.)
I WON on the eternal scale, as we both know.  (You don’t HAVE to go to hell, but it’s your choice.)
I also WON on the terrestrial…if by no other means than the fact that I am DECADES YOUNGER THAN YOU and also I…am…not…afraid…to…die…anyway.
I’d prefer that you not die and go to hell, but die you shall and I can’t influence your destiny.
(You can’t influence mine either.  Nice try, bastard.)
TTYL.
“Bob or George.  Which one do I kill first?”

(Scarlet,  from “Minions”)

—-8:39 am

This must be what happened to DAVID:

Narcissism When The Golden Child Turns

=
“There comes a time in every person’s life where they know right from wrong.”
“Narcissists know right from wrong, but they do the wrong things because that’s where they get their supply from.  There’s a time when the Golden Child also turns into a narcissist.   “The Golden Child’s survival skills turn mutant and they believe they are entitled.”
“There comes a time when they actually see, feel and think that your pain gives them pleasure.”
[When the Golden Child becomes a narcissist]  “he becomes a lethal, empty shell of a human…and all they care about is the money, the recognition, the admiration and unfortunately they get their supply from your pain and your hurt.”

With a Narcissist, You Aren’t Allowed to Feel Special

NARCISSISM – The Inhuman “ALIEN” PSYCHOLOGY OF DEMONS. ‘Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing’

More at:   

Narcissism Their Choice of Scapegoat Perspective

“The narcissist must witness pain in some other human’s face.”
“Get rid of that filth on someone else…feel better about themselves.”
“Before you… as a witness… are able to communicate what is going on they must destroy your credibility with a pre-emptive strike.”
“If you’re vulnerable, if you’re kind and gentle, they must eliminate that…because they can’t experience it.”

3:59 am

Codependency Recovery-How to Stay Out of Your Childhood Negative Programs

1:31 am
“Jesus is a territorial spirit.”   “How can a prophet be a non-profit?”  “Four months meditating.”
There was a time I expected that I could be provocative but I must have lost my touch.    I’ve attempted to provoke a discussion about GANGSTALKING AND REMOTE USE OF PSYCHOTRONIC WEAPONS ON INNOCENT NON-CONSENSUAL SUBJECTS for a really long time and I haven’t been able to stir up even a personal conversation wherein I might cry and unload some burdens and pain; and I certainly have been unable to create any dialogue that might assist anybody else.  Why would God give me all this understanding and allow me to go through such TERRIBLE experiences if he did not mean for me to use what I know to promote Him?  How can I promote Him when He hasn’t even freed me yet?  How can He free me if I refuse to be free?  Is that what I’m doing?  I just really see no options, I’ve tried to move, I’ve taken jobs and then bosses WOULDN’T PAY ME…and I suffer such overwhelming attacks of anxiety and panic;  I’m not afraid to go to sleep anymore but I’m still awakened with shots of panic a lot of times.  I am not free.  How can I sell what I don’t own?  Where do I go to get free from these repeated attacks?  My beliefs cannot be shaken, once they’re established, but  my EMOTIONS are a real different story;  I want to know how much of the suffering is residual electronic torture… and how much is just CPTSD from being raised by narcissists.  I am miserable, frequently, lately.  I have NO REASON for dis–ease but ease escapes me.  I need to enter God’s rest but I don’t even know how to keep the panic from consuming me over and over.
I KNOW God has a plan for me and I know I will become everything He ever wanted.  BUT…I don’t feel like that. My body is even uncomfortable:  I’ve gained probably thirty pounds since I stopped smoking and I’m very clumsy.  My skin is horrible and I can’t use Proactiv anymore because when I do it takes two months for an itchy rash to go away.  My asymetrical haircut probably wasn’t the wisest choice for a woman whose unusual hair regularly stands straight up.  I’m so lonely for a Christian friend.  I pray all the time for new things to think about to replace the worn-out worries.  I need some new sights and sounds.  I’ve been ISOLATED for LOTS OF YEARS.
“If you really want to grow up in all things in Christ, then you have to grow up. You can’t be that anxious person anymore.
The world does not need to be familiar with your anxiety.  They need you to break free; because if you can break free then so can they.”   (Graham Cooke)
Josh went to church last Sunday; it was the first time in lots of years.  His observations are always profound:  the padre announced the names of all the folks in the congregation who are sick and dying…then he took up an offering.  Yeah. They’re SELLING the failure of their religion.  That’s gotta be difficult.  So far,  I’m doing pretty much the same thing.

 Reclaiming Your Inner Territory

Graham Cooke
II Thessalonians 1:6:
…it is a righteous thing with God to recompense tribulation to them that trouble you…

A warrior Bride, who has been tested and refined like fire, is coming forth; and the Lord showed me it will be a massive, young generation being called into the arts and entertainment industry who will be illuminated by the light of the world to expose the confusion and the wisdom of this world.

I see a massive harvest in the lives of screenwriters, producers of film and reality television, inventors of apps and gaming, authors, inventors of social media platforms, and musicians. A massive army is being raised up, causing a cultural renaissance in America and around the globe.

Munday Martin: “Children of Light are Being Awakened!”

“…goodness, light, love, and mercy will ooze out of this new arising company of voices of cultural influence. It will be sweet like honey.”

Illuminati & The Music Industry 2016: Celebrities Expose Hollywood!

satan is always busy
(I can’t wait to find out if my family is really masonic.  I want to know so MANY THINGS!  Soon, they will talk to me.)

When I had seen before the big fish on Jesus’ hook and line, I saw below a river full of big fish. This was the river that my wriggly fish came from. And there were so many fishes there. Guess where the river of fishes was? In the Lodge! Well, I had never thought of that, because I am used to getting people delivered from freemasonry spirits.

But there is going to be a move of the Spirit in the Lodges. The spirit of death is going to have to stand back because God is coming in.

Read more from Kathie Walters here:

Our Vision

 The Gathering Place

A Revival Hub

An Apostolic training Center

Our desire is to see others move more into the arts of worship.  

We have artists move in prophetic painting during the worship service as another form of worship.

 

We will be facilitating workshops for dance and the arts so that all who are interested can come and develop and express their Spiritual gifts.

See more at:   http://www.thegatheringplaceint.com/#!why_choose_us/cfvg

“The three elements of identity are:  1) perception, 2) mind-set, and 3) language.  God wants you to SEE something about yourself.  And when you SEE it you can BECOME it.”  (Graham Cooke)

 

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